Guys, my job has ruined my appreciation for anything jazz, swing, or bebop that isn't from Cowboy Bebop. Sorry, I'm with Shane on this one.
At work yesterday, we had a visit from the district manager, who is one rank above my boss. My nemesis/manager tried her absolute best to make me look like an idiot in front of the DM, and in doing so she completely forgot to do anything to make herself look good. Around noon, she called over the walkie for a specific employee, and after about 4 or 5 attempts was unable to raise her. After her final attempt, she called out, "Marsha, you need to put a walkie on RIGHT NOW." Spotting a golden opportunity, and having had enough of her shit, I called back, "You know, since we've already demonstrated that she is offline, that really isn't going to help anything."
30 minutes later, she calls me over the walkie, and without hiding any of her anger, she says "Patrick, we need to have a private talk about your conduct over the walkie earlier." Now, I don't know about you guys, but to me, "private" means behind closed doors, away from customers and other employees.
Not today. She tried chewing me out in front of everybody. "YOU AND YOUR SMART MOUTH MADE ME LOOK LIKE A FOOL IN FRONT OF EVERY SINGLE EMPLOYEE IN THIS STORE, NOT TO MENTION THE
DISTRICT MANAGER. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?

"
"No, you did."
Silence from her for 3 hours.
Then she tried to fuck my day up by scheduling a delivery each at 2 loading zones on opposite ends of the mall from each other, 15min after my shift ended, so I loaded both orders onto separate carts, delegated one to the new stock guy, brought the other to the store, and told the acting store manager about it. He told me to clock out and delegated my delivery to her. Knowing this, I waited for her in the loading zone, which happens to be the designated smoking area for employees on our side of the mall. She comes out with the order, and I say "O HAY, fancy meeting you here," open up my Zippo, spark up my Parliament, flick the lighter shut, and say "You have yrself a good one now!" and walk off to catch the bus.
Best part is, she doesn't have the power to hire or fire anyone, and nothing I did could get me fired anyway. In fact, I proved myself capable of maintaining consistently above-average productivity, training newbies, delegating tasks, and going out of my way in the middle of everything to help outside of my department.
I'm the fuckin boss, bitchezzz