Another night of disappointment!
or
The date that wasn't.
So as you guys may recall I had a date tonight. I was looking forward to it, I had a bit of an emotional melt-down last night (of which, more later), I ironed my shirt and washed my nice white trousers specially and I wasn't even nervous when I got on the train into the city. En route I sent a text to the girl I was meeting to let her know what I looked like and what I was wearing, because we've never met each-other before, and I got to the bar on time and ordered a beer and sat down to wait for her to arrive.
About ten minutes after I got there I received a text from her, saying that she was really glad I'd texted her because she'd left my number at home, and furthermore explaining that she'd been stuck out at a site for work (she works in event management) and wouldn't be able to meet me that night. I texted her back to suggest we meet some other time and she replied that she had a really busy couple of weeks ahead so it'd have to be after that. So I guess I'll have to wait a couple of weeks to see if I ever get to meet this girl or not. I stopped off at another bar where I know the staff on the way home because I needed some friendly faces to talk to and I couldn't stand going home straight away and spending the night alone.
On the face of it it's not so bad but it's been a bit of a shit of a week so this was just one more thing. Yesterday I finally decided to telephone the literary agent I'd sent the manuscript for my novel to just before Christmas, basically to ask why the hell it was taking so long for her to get back to me (but in much nicer words than that, obviously). I left a message on her answering machine and an hour later she emailed me saying she was terribly embarassed and that she thought she'd replied to my submission but that on closer inspection she couldn't find any record of having done so. She then went on to say that although she thought the story of my manuscript was affecting and would appeal to many people (her words), she didn't think it was quite strong enough for the big publishers she usually deals with, given the current publishing climate. She suggested that I try some small independents instead. Now, I've got a lot of respect for independent publishers, I'm trying to get my other book (of the text-message stories I've been writing for the last couple of years) published by an independent because they're the only publishers with the guts to take on something like that, but the novel I thought actually had broad appeal and deserved the kind of audience that the independents can't generally attract, and on top of all the struggles I've been having trying to find a publisher for the short stories book the agent's email yesterday just felt like she was telling me that I was minor-league, which I'm sure isn't what she meant, but it was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
I'm feeling better about it now but I won't lie, after I got that email yesterday I had a little cry and I felt pretty fucking hopeless and despairing. Guys, don't ever try to get two books published at once, it's fucking masochistic.
I really would've like to meet this girl tonight and hang out with her for a bit.