I'm not sure if this is the kind of thing I should be putting up on the forum but it's the medium that I think I can actually handle doing it in right now, so here it is.
It feels weird having to do this like this, like I should just be able to tell people face to face, instead of writing out some press release, for fuck's sake.
Anyway, here goes;
Sam is leaving me. She says that it's been coming a long time (news to me), that she just doesn't feel anything for me anymore (could've fooled me) (did fool me, I guess), that there's a whole raft of issues with my personality she has that she just doesn't wanna deal with anymore, that she doesn't like spending time around me anymore, that she wants to go and be free and party and whatever else, and I suppose I'm holding her back from this. That she's spent a long time thinking about this, that there's nothing I can say or do to change her mind. I did try to change her mind.
She's moving out of our house in Canmore, presumably to find a place in Banff (where all this fun she's missing is supposed to be located). We're paid up on rent til the end of January. As luck would have it one of the people living upstairs is moving out at the end of January, so I've managed to snag his room, so I won't have to move far. It's another $100/month which means I'll be stretched pretty thin but I think I can make it work regardless. I'm still looking for full-time work, and I guess I have to look harder now.
I strongly considered just packing up and going home to Perth. To the point where I was looking up airfares. After all the mess with the car, and now this, I feel like the whole thing is pretty much doomed to fail, and that I'm going to have a hell of a time scratching by on what little funds I have left. I also just feel like I'm just not suited to travelling on my own. Not gregarious enough, not adventurous enough, sure as hell not organised and self-reliant enough. I don't mind being alone, but it was still nice to have someone to talk to, some familiar face no matter where I went.
On the other hand, I'm here already. I've got two years on my Canadian work visa, five on the U.S. tourist visa. I always said that if I didn't go travelling at this very point in my life, there was very little chance I'd do it any other time, when I had a career and whatever other responsibilities a person accrues. And what better way to learn those skills and personality traits that I mentioned lacking above, than to be forced to acquire them.
I have no idea how this is all going to pan out, but I'm gonna try, because there's no point at all in giving up.
I have no idea where I'm going or what I'm doing after the winter is over, but I guess that's all part of the fun, and I have months to think about it. Strongly considering working in fruit picking in British Columbia once the summer hits, it's supposed to be good pay if you work hard, and it's a beautiful part of the planet. Beyond that, who knows. Hell, before that, who knows.
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Topic: Re: Blog Thread IIIa : Look Who's Blogging Now (Read 256862 times)