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[Inlander]

Someone who "drives a nice car like a BMW or a Mercedes".

Do they have to own it as well?

[A Wet Helmet]

I got married on a Tuesday and nobody in either of our families knew until Thursday after.  Yeah, it was a bit of a surprise for everybody, but it avoided all kinds of otherwise unpleasant talks.

[ackblom12]

I don't know, I am pretty sure if I had asked Kat's parents for her hand they would have approved, but I do not understand that tradition still carrying on. On the other hand, telling my mother led to the best comment I've ever heard from my parents.

"Oh thank god, you're getting married before she's knocked up."

Queue my face.

[Papersatan]

I don't know, I am pretty sure if I had asked Kat's parents for her hand they would have approved, but I do not understand that tradition still carrying on.

I'm sure they would have too, they liked you (and still do).  However, I would have been offended if you had asked.  I mean, what does it matter what they think.  I love you and I , as a capable adult, want to marry you.  I guess things are way different these days anyways.  I mean, we had been living together for years before we got engaged.  I'm sure if someone had a problem they would have announced it before the engagement. 

[Jimmy the Squid]

I always assumed that I would have asked the girls parents but I realise now that no. I wouldn't. Fuck them.

[ummmkay]

i can definitely understand why people wouldn't want to continue that tradition, but i tend to see it as more of a sign of respect/formality than really asking permission. for me, i'm really really close to my parents and honestly don't think i could marry someone they really didn't like, so i'd be okay with the guy going through that step before asking me.

i see it as more of a conversation where my parents and this mystery man just all talk about how awesome i am, and then my dad will be all "i know, right?! you should lock that down!" and dude will be all "don't mind if i do!"

[Slick]

guys i just spent two hours on a platform in the middle of a train bridge waiting for a train to pass by. this involved walking on a train bridge over a river. easily the scariest shit i have ever done.

climbed across the underside of a metal-grate bridge (on a support beam, not directly on the grating) while cars drove over top. Less chance of trains running me off the tracks, more noisy cars rolling inches above my fingers.

[Graphite]

The asking the parents thing does make more sense for people who get along well with their parents and value their opinion - but then, in my reactively anti-traditional head it makes more sense for you to ask your own parents for approval, as opposed to your SO askin' em for permission. For people who get along terribly with their parents or don't value their parents' opinion at all, the tradition falls apart entirely.

[Lines]

The only reason I would want someone to ask my mother if it was ok to marry me is because I want to end up with a guy who is not afraid of my mother. She's really cool and I love her to death, but don't get me wrong, she is intimidating as fuck sometimes and I don't want to marry a guy who will live in fear of her. Just like I don't want a mother-in-law who will be mean to me, because that will not end well!

Art school - it sucks and makes you feel stupid. And then one day it doesn't anymore. The end!

If you can't handle being demeaned and criticized for your art you probably shouldn't do it for a living.

Criticism, yes, you need to be able to handle all kinds. Demeaning, from critics maybe, from teachers no. They are there to teach you, to help you do better, but a lot of them forget that, which is annoying. Sometimes it just takes a different way of learning to be able to understand what you need to know, which is why internships are really good for some people when the classroom is not.

[Papersatan]

See, I get along great with my parents.  I just would hope, if Stephen had asked my father for his permission that my father would have said "Why the hell are you asking me?"  I mean, I didn't ask Stephen's mom if I could marry him. 

I am an adult and I make my own desicions.  I didn't ask my parents what univerdsity I should go to, or what major I should choose.  I didn't ask them whether I should go to Grad school or just get a job.  These are desicions that are mine, and they effect my life and my happiness. I can't imagine asking my permission to make them for me or to give em my blessing before I decide.  I made a choice and then I announced what I had decided, if they had concerns they were welcome to express them, but the choice is mine. 

As much as I love and respect my partents I would not care if they had said I shouldn'y get married.  We got a traditional wedding with a nice dress and a reception and all because my parents paid.  If they had objected then we would have had a small wedding that we paid for.  I would still have married Stephen. 

Speaking of independence, I am watcing my sister's kids for 5 days because she is on a cruise, and I cannot believe how well behaved they are.  They are 11 and 12 and I think they only need me here to drive them places and sign things for school.  They made themselves a snack last night and went to bed on time without any kind of prompt from me.  The 11 year old announced to me at 8:00pm that he was going to use the computer for half an hour, then he would read for 1 hour, then it would be 9:30 and so it would be bed time.  Then he did just that.  This morning they both woke up with their alarms made themselves breakfast, packed themselves lunch and waited for the bus.  Man when I was that age it took yelling to get me out of bed in the morning. 

[abadname]

It's less asking for permission as giving them the courtesy of knowing I am doing it, either way I'm going to

[onewheelwizzard]

I think it's a safe assumption that if I've planning to get married, there will be discussions of some nature between me and my fiance's parents before the event.  I don't think it'll take the form of asking for permission, but I will ask for their thoughts on the matter, at least.

[Papersatan]

I guess what I don't understand, is do you expect her to do the same?  That is, do you expect that she would ask your family if it is ok?

[abadname]

No, I'm not saying "please let me marry your daughter I love her so much and i NEED you to say yes so i can go through with this".  I already talked to her dad and my dad and I just said  "I have a ring, I'm going to propose to your daughter.  I want you to know before I do it."

[Ozymandias]

I called up my wife's parents beforehand, which we both thought was silly but it just seemed like a good idea to give them a heads up and be a bit formal. I don't know.

[Papersatan]

I guess I don't understand why would you tell them at all if you weren't looking for input? If you are going to get married anyways why not just tell them after you are engaged?  If you want them to be the first to know, the tell them first.  My parents were the first people I told, because that seemed like the right thing to do.  Steve's parents knew before hand, but that was because he needed them to access his money for him (since it was tied up in livestockwhich they had to sell). 

I think maybe part of my problem understanding why this tradition persists is because of my thoughts on what marriage is, and should be.  I feel like marriage is a public declaration of something that has already happened in a relationship.  Or that it should be at least.  That something is that you have decided to live your lives as one.  That you are making decisions always with the other person in mind, even if it means you are giving up things you would like.  It means accepting each other faults and all.  It means making plans to be together in the future, far far into the future.  And the marriage is just a public declaration of this.  I don't think people should get married until they have already reached this point.  And by the time you have reached this point both parties will have discussed it with anyone they care to have input from.  If your lady wanted her parents to have a say in if she spends her life with you I would think she would have already talked about it with them before you got to the point where marriage was in the cards.  Again, this comes from my understanding of marriage, in which the couple has talked about it before anyone "pops" the question. 

[Graphite]

Everything you just said up there is stuff I strongly agree with, and also

I guess what I don't understand, is do you expect her to do the same?  That is, do you expect that she would ask your family if it is ok?

I would love to hear if anyone has done this.

[ummmkay]

i definitely understand where you're coming from, papersatan, and i think you raise an interesting point about it not usually working both ways. this is making me clarify my own thoughts about what i would want to happen if i get married someday. i certainly agree with what you said about being independent and making your own decisions. i guess what i would want is for the guy to have the conversation with my parents beforehand, if only because i know that my dad especially would be hurt if he didn't. i'd rather it be asking for their "blessing", as cheesy as that sounds, than permission though. like "hey this is what i'm gonna do, and i really respect you and would like you to be on board with this."

i guess i don't think people should do it if it's just for the sake of an empty tradition. if it's meaningful to the couple, then go for it! if you think it's a waste of time, why bother?

[BrittanyMarie]

I agree. It depends on the couple for sure. In my case, and I know I am likely in the minority here on this one, is that if I am marrying someone, that person is also marrying into my family and I am marrying into theirs. If my family super-objected to a dude I was marrying (and this is highly unlikely since I have the nicest family ever and they try to be friends with literally everyone), I would seriously want to know. And I WOULD definitely take that into consideration. I guess an example of that was when I was younger my Aunt Wendy was seriously dating this guy who ended up stealing a bunch of stuff from my uncles and dad and taking advantage of her I guess. She was blinded by loneliness at the time, and obviously she would have been supported no matter what her choice was, but the fact that everyone who knew her and loved her the best did not love him like she did made her take a second look, I guess.

And on the other side, while my uncle's fiancee never asked US for permission or our blessings to marry my uncle, everyone basically told her that if she decided to marry him, we would be on board because we love her and we do consider her family.

[KvP]

guys i just spent two hours on a platform in the middle of a train bridge waiting for a train to pass by. this involved walking on a train bridge over a river. easily the scariest shit i have ever done.

A lot of people die that way!

Well, not a lot, but a good number. Most of them are drunk.

[Allybee]

holy shit, I figured it out.

I had dinner with my best friend tonight and I realized that I don't want to be an art major. I think I decided to do it because I like the idea of it, but it's been making me miserable. it makes me feel like I have to be the best in my art classes, and like I need to choose to take art classes because I want to be an architect, instead of because I like them. I can still take art for fun and maybe someday go to grad school for architecture but I need to do what's right for me now.

I think I'm going to do sociology and environmental studies, concentrating on urban sociology. I love soc, I love enviro. it makes sense. I can take drawing II next semester instead of architecture II. I can not freak out about every little architecture project, since I'm not going to do an architecture thesis. I don't have to freak out about my gpa because I don't necessarily have to go to grad school.

I'm freeeeeeeeeee.

[Dazed]

Congrats! I know a lot of people who have switched majors, many multiple times, and most of them are really happy with the new ones. I took about a year and a half to decide on my music major, and I've been a musician for 14 years and it's basically one of 3-5 things I'm any good at. I think these things are definitely worth taking the time to consider, it seems like loads of people just commit all out to one course without even considering the alternatives, which has never made any sense to me.

So yeah, congratulations! You did a good thing.

[squawk]

Good job ally :]
man, that sounds so intense. I kind of committed myself with this engineering shit...
buuut, honestly i don't really have my doubts about it. I am still leaving the door open for pre-med but I'm not sure. I need to figure out the music thing as well, I guess, but maybe that shouldn't be a need. I want more future right now I'm sick of prereqs.

[Barmymoo]

Ugh I am getting sick again and I think it's going to be another bout of tonsillitis; I cannot cope with tonsillitis during term time because I will have to leave uni if I miss a week's work. ARGH. ARGH. Also argh: six hours to do two supervisions' work, one of which took the other group all week to do and apparently the supervisor just tests you by saying "what did such-and-such a writer say about this tiny detail?" and you have to know without notes. ARGH.



SHIT make that four hours (and now three but I have done some in the previous hour). Bloody sodding director wants me in at 4.30 (the show starts at 7.45!) to practice the scene changes because apparently it was due to all my cues being "at least three seconds late" that the play is three hours long. Erm. No. There are only eight scene-change cues. 3x8 does not equal 45 minutes.

[Rizzo]

Dear blog thread.

Today has been a shit day. First, my girlfriend found out that the job she really wanted, she got, only wanted to pay her $15 an hour and 30 hours a week. NOT ENOUGH MONEY OR HOURS.
Then I went for a skate, on my third push I hit a pebble, fell immediately and shredded my hands. Now they sting like fuck
Then I came home, found out a good friend had tried to kill himself and was admitted to hospital. Then he was discharged (WHATTHEFUCKTHEYRESUPPOSEDTOKEEPYOUFOR24HOURS) and has disappeared. Hopefully he's still alive...
Then my mum rang and told me my grandmother died tonight, so she's flying over to Australia on Thursday, returning on Sunday, shortly before my brain surgery...
And Friday is my last day in the job I really love... once I get back from hospital in 2 weeks I have to go back to my incredibly boring old position.
FUCK MY LIFE.

In all honesty I don't feel anything right now beyond the pain in my hands. I'm sure tomorrow the wave will break...

[StaedlerMars]

Dang dude, that really sucks. Hopefully things will start looking up for you.

[Lines]

Congrats Ally!

[valley_parade]

What the fuckkkkkkk.

My girlfriend works at a ritzy-ass hotel the next town over. Last night, after her shift, she brought me a metric fucktonne of delicious chocolate chip cookies from the hotel's restaurant.

I had some for breakfast because I was too tired/lazy to make an omelet this morning, and my stomach/bowels have been hating me ALL day.

[Metope]

Aw my flatmates came in to my room 30 minutes ago singing the birthday song for me, and they had baked me a cake and everything! I am so happy guys, if this is any indication of what being 22 is like I think I have an amazing year ahead of me!

[Lines]

Speaking of baking, my ceramics class had a travelling bake sale today! (That's why I made cookies and brownies last night.) We sold a lot! I am very happy. We were raising money for a trip I'm not able to go on, but still that's pretty rad. And there were left overs, so I got a sugar fix.

[Graphite]

I immediately pictured the baking going on in the ceramics kiln. Which is probably both impractical and unhygienic, but would nonetheless be awesome.

[Ăśde]

This week: electro-convulsive ghost porno.

[Inlander]

I thought for a moment I was in the coffee thread and I thought "Well I know we've taken that thread on some tangents, but that was unexpected."

[Lines]

I immediately pictured the baking going on in the ceramics kiln. Which is probably both impractical and unhygienic, but would nonetheless be awesome.

I think my baking dish would have melted and everything else would have burned out, but really that is a fun mental image of a bake fail.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

i just got a $20 bill denied at a gas station because it made their fancy little pen change colors which, apparently, means it's counterfeit. First time that's ever happened to me

I'm pretty sure it's real money and it's really not that big of deal, but it's literally all the money I had and I only had that because I borrowed it from work, and I was using it to buy cigarettes, which I've been out of for a day now.

Naturally, I got really pissed off for about five minutes. Nicotine withdrawls is serious business 

[Zingoleb]

my future roommate is a cross-dressing UU minister and army drill sergeant who sings songs from Chicago at the top of his lungs.

I'm wearing his skirt right now.

[Inlander]

i just got a $20 bill denied at a gas station because it made their fancy little pen change colors which, apparently, means it's counterfeit.

Oh hey, this reminds me: months and months ago I had a A$20 note which was damaged. A great big chunk of it was missing. It came out of an ATM and I just didn't notice because it was in the middle of a whole bunch of other notes. Anyway, no shop would accept it as legal tender because so much of it was missing. So I took it in to my bank to see if I could exchange it or something, and they explained that they had to send notes with more than a certain amount missing to the Reserve Bank of Australia, so that they could determine how much the note was worth. They had a chart and everything right there in the bank.

That was back in March or something, and I'd completely forgotten about it. Last week, first thing in the morning, I got woken by a phone call from my bank, telling me that they'd just received a cheque for A$14 from the RBA. Would I like them to deposit it into my bank account? Sure, I said, okay, thankyou, and the lady from the bank agreed to do so, and then we both hung up and I went back to sleep.

[Allybee]

one of my dogs went into my room and chewed up 12 dollars when I was home. dunno what to do.

[scarred]

get a cat!

[squawk]

wrong advice

[valley_parade]

Yep. My cat seriously ate homework when I was little. Try handing in a shredded up worksheet and explaining with a straight face that your cat tried to eat it.

[smack that isaiah]

oh my god, me too!  It was in high school and my cat started chewing on my really tough physics homework the morning it was due.  I got it back from him (with a bit of a fight, he really wanted those papers) and taped up what he had torn and handed it in saying "my cat ate my homework"

[Lines]

Man, all your cats suck. Mine was/is awesome. Waffles didn't eat any homework and Parker could care less. Waffs liked to lie on it and that was it. Then again, he liked to lie on everything, especially my shoes. Lazy chub of a cat. I miss him. The only thing of mine he ever liked to eat were those rexlace lanyard things. Parker only likes to knock things off tables and then immediately loses interest in them once they hit the floor.

KITTIES!

[Papersatan]

Yeah my cat only eats food.  I mean, it could be watermellon which you are tryign to eat, or pizza scraps that you put in the garbage, or crackers from a box you left where he could get it, but only food. 

[Papersatan]

So I had a crazy dream the other night.  There was a fun house only it was terrible and frightning and some of the rooms were toxic and all these girls kept going in and getting terribly ill.  I was trying to help two girls to get out, but they were woozy and sick and confused so it was a challenge.  And after I struggled forever to drag them out through the all the twisty bits and traps who do you think was running the funhouse?  Tommy.  I tried to convince him to shut it down, because it was dangerous and he was unconcerned.  He said the girls had a choice and most of them came out fine.  Tommy, I don't believe in the psycic power of dreams, but if you do you might wanna get your funhouse checked. 

[JD]

Going to Whistler for 3 days! I wonder if any of the Olympic stuff is still up.

[Elizzybeth]

Sent letter of recommendation requests to professors this morning.  Haven't heard back yet.

Applying to doctoral programs: it's really happening.



(Psyduck was my favorite Pokemon as a kid.  Why? Because I suffered from frequent headaches and believed I was psychic.  I'll say that again: I identified deeply with a psychic cartoon platypus.)

[Inlander]

Ooooooh, so that's what it is.

[Barmymoo]

Hmm. I just watched in full the first 10 minutes of the kids' TV episode I set my German tutee for homework, and I think he might struggle with it. I had trouble understanding quite a bit of it and I'm meant to be semi-fluent! They speak incredibly fast. On the other hand the adults speak quite clearly and there are certainly plenty of bits he will understand. I hope he doesn't get too disheartened (this is what happens when you don't have time to fully check your lesson plans, it seems...)

Nevertheless I think today's lesson was quite successful! We started with prepositions which he'd never covered before, then spent a rather painful 35 minutes slowly and carefully crafting sentences about a photo of a library (weird speaking exam question they've brought in this year). He had to figure out each individual clause at least twice but he got there!

I'm actually quite proud, of both of us. He is evidently bright and capable, just not very interested in German, and I didn't go completely to pieces when I discovered he hadn't actually brought the workbook we were planning on working through. I'm enjoying this tutoring!

Just to off-set that though, tonight's performance of the play was ludicrous. The cast began corpsing (laughing out of character on stage) within the first five minutes, messed up lines, missed entrances, forgot props and generally turned a very serious and rather slow-paced play into a farce. Not that it wasn't necessarily an improvement... but the director wasn't impressed with the corpsing. Weirdly the audience were also laughing in really strange places. I think the cast just can't resist playing for laughs even when they're supposed to be delivering "a message" (the dialogue is a bit precious at times, and full of long monologues).

Now to bed. I have not done enough work for tomorrow's supervision, but when have I ever?

[Scandanavian War Machine]

(Psyduck was my favorite Pokemon as a kid.  Why? Because I suffered from frequent headaches and believed I was psychic.  I'll say that again: I identified deeply with a psychic cartoon platypus.)

haha wow, I just came this close to spewing milkshake all over my keyboard.

Thank you for that.