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Re: Whatever, Let's Have A Goddamn Blog Thread, But Try And Keep It Reasonable, pt B

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tania:
see i see it as kind of how, if you want your parents to give you autonomy and treat you like an adult instead of a child, you gots to sort of set an example for them by being civil and respectful and essentially not complaining and swearing and catastrophizing every time something doesn't go your way.
everyone at some point has or will be through that developmental stage and it kind of sucks but you realize afterwords that no matter how shitty you thought your parents were treating you, most of it was probably warranted in some way. at least that was my experience. they're still absolutely insane, but since moving out i've realized i was probably really crazy and terrible to live with too. since then i've tried to calm down and now i like to think i've learned how to talk to them rationally and politely in spite of their ridiculousness and they respect me a lot more as a result of that too. you can also think of it as setting an example for someone rather than sinking to their level.

Patrick:
Then in that case, when I am inevitably running late for work sometime next year, I will yell at Tara and treat her like shit because she didn't pour me a bowl of cereal. That is what you're saying, right?

0bsessions:
Next year? Haven't you only been dating her like three months?

Hey, Patrick, my personal advice to you:

Scandanavian War Machine:
next year is only a couple of weeks away.

tania:
i am basically saying there are ways to register complaints with someone in a way that doesn't involve your life being absolutely horrible and them being terrible people. here are two examples scenarios:

#1: my fucking housemate made dinner yesterday and forgot to turn off the fucking oven. what the fuck is wrong with her? she's such an ungrateful bitch, i fucking do everything around here, i don't understand why she can't remember something as simple as that. i told her about it and she got all fucking angry at me, so i told her to fuck off. fuck her, she's a fucking bitch.

#2: my housemate made dinner yesterday and forgot to turn off the oven. i told her about this and asked if she could try to remember next time. she got angry at me and told me to stop patronizing her. i apologized and calmly explained that wasn't my intention, that i just thought it might be something she'd want to know. so she apologized too and things were awesome.

the first one kind of sounds like the majority of your blog posts, the second is i think maybe a better way to go about solving problems. i know the point of this thread is to get things off your chest but sometimes i wonder how much good all that anger and frustration and swearing is actually doing. sometimes the best thing you can do is just stay calm and rational (not the same thing as letting people push you around, it just means keeping your cool and seeing both sides of the situation) and eventually others will pick up on that and follow your example.

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