Fun Stuff > CHATTER
What should Gareth do in Amsterdam in August?
Loki:
So I just booked the connection. This is happening!!! *giddy*
Thrillho:
That leaves ChaoSera *threatening look*
Thrillho:
So we went to Amsterdam, and things occurred!
Tuesday we flew out, which made me squee like a kid having not been on a plane since I was like 7 and as such not remembering anything about it. It was a real novelty for me taking the flight, but the flight was only 45 minutes long which was hilarious because it meant that we spent like 15 minutes going up in the air, 15 minutes up there and then 15 minutes landing. We didn't do much on day one except find the flat, settle in to watch a movie and eating at our first Amsterdam restaurant - Burgermeester, a place that makes the very odd choice to have photos of live cows on the walls and menus. It's a strange choice. 'Look at the adorable animal you're eating!'
Well, not me, because I had a lamb burger. And it was gurrrrd.
The next day was mostly sightseeing, then the Sex Museum. It was entertaining (and surprisingly erotic) but a lot smaller than I expected and profoundly dated. There was loads of lesbian porn (let's face it lesbian porn is just straight porn) but only the tiniest bit of gay porn, from the Victorian times. Seeing quite explicit pornography from all these different eras was fascinating because we were so used to people in photos like that, with the proper broom moustaches and everything, just being in very regal poses. This was a real look at what went on behind closed doors in these times. Also it was interesting seeing the different standards of beauty - the Japanese erotic drawings mostly featured women with small breasts and even typically pot bellies too. It also had a really terrible 'exhibit' about Marilyn Monroe. And it led to one of my favourite photos of myself:
Then we got super high. Was really nice. Lasted for ages.
Thursday we went wandering around a quite nice, big park. Lots of herons in Amsterdam, and the most absolutely disgusting public toilets I've ever used. They were just big plastic moulds of urinals, open to the elements (but with a fence around them) and no sink. Really, really gross. God help any women that use them.
Then we got high again. Smoked a bit more this time. Was verrrry strong.
Friday we met BeoPuppy and Loki!
Was super cool. Loki had some funny stories, and Puppy was all around hilarious. Pretty much in real life exactly like they are on here, in a good way, in both cases.
Then we got high again, and it was BAD. We smoked shitloads. Keep in mind this was the cheapest pre-rolled shit you can buy from the coffee shop in question. I was high for HOURS. Not just high, but actually tripping. I've never done hallucinogenics before but this shit was strong enough that I was hallucinating, I was out of it, literally for hours. I was seeing colours, barely existing as myself. Luckily it took a lot longer to hit my girlfriend so she took care of me for the first couple of hours (apparently at one point I was high enough to literally say 'You could be queen of the world and I could be your king!'). Was not good. Bad trip, man, bad trip. And then I just snapped back into sober at 2am like nothing happened. That was fucking WEIRD.
Saturday we went to see the Bodyworld exhibit, which was pretty good and then in one of the staircases we found that somebody found it so pretty good that they'd puked! Also we saw a dick that'd be cut up into pieces. I was crossing my legs for hours.
Then Sunday we had to travel back which seemed to take four hundred years compared to the outbound journey.
Amsterdam observations:
- Some people in Amsterdam do not like the English! But hey, I don't like the English. Some people did not like being spoken to in English. Some other people could tell we were English before we even opened our mouths!
- The entire place is seemingly on a slant. I genuinely think it was fucking with my equilibrium, I felt slightly dizzy like the entire time. (And not just because of the weed, smartasses)
- In Amsterdam, the roads are fucking tiny, there are bikes, mopeds and cars everywhere, they drive on the right, and hey, pedestrians do not have right of way, which meant we both nearly died like 40 times during every five minute walk. Also the entire place is built in blocks like the US, but every street is named rather than numbered which makes it the worst of all worlds.
- Everything is SO EXPENSIVE
All in all, we had a blast, and I loved it.
BeoPuppy:
Hear that world? I'm hilarious! Suck it bitches!
Loki:
Alright everybody, here's my side of the story. It's rather long, so feel free to skip to the next post where I meet Gareth and BeoPuppy.
On my way to Amsterdam, I had to take another connection than I had planned, because the railway was having some problems and we were kicked out of the train at some station I had never heard of before ('s-Hertogenbosch. Yes, it starts with an apostrophe). I was super worried I had to take an extra ticket or something, but everything turned out fine in the end. So I arrived in Amsterdam shortly before 2pm on Thursday.
After fumbling around to get a local tram ticket (it's an RFID chip embedded into a card), I set off to my hostel. (Ironically, the RFID chip is from a German manufacturer). Checkin was at 2pm, so I didn't have to wait long.
I had to pay extra for the lockers to store my luggage in, which kinda sucked, but everyone at the hostel was very nice. I unpacked and set off into the city.
There was a cat outside my hostel which would come up to everybody and be petted x)
I stalked for a few hours through town. As Gareth said, lots of bikers, relatively few cars. And hella expensive - I spent most of my budget for the day for overpriced food.
Among other things, I discovered an American Book Center and promptly purchased "The World of Poo" by Pratchett. I also considered getting some D&D materials, but they were too costly for my budget.
I also walked into a sweets shop which sold organic candy.
Literally all I said was "Hi".
Suddenly, the salesgirl starts talking to me in German. I must have looked very confused - she explained that Germans tend to speak higher. Considering I don't even have a pure German accent, how she found my language from the one syllable was amazing. She offered a lot of sweets to taste, and I promised to come back the next day.
At some point, I sighted an alien.
To keep up the tradition, the picture is appropriately blurry.
At some other point, I hung out with some backpackers at one of the main channels, where all the tourist ferries were starting. We were basically half-lieing on the floor. A guy from the ferry company came over, but instead of ushering us away like I definitely had expected, he was like "hey guys, there are places getting free at that benches over there, so when they do, could you go over there please? Thanks, that's real nice of you". To someone used to German strictness, this was heaven.
I also walked through some parts of the Red Light District. There, among other things, I encountered a derpy-looking seagull
and a Christian hostel.
And Gareth forces me to tell this:
While hanging out in one of those tourist trap shops, I overheard a guy asking the cashier where to find a midget prostitute.
Yes, really. I can now personally attest this doesn't just happen in movies.
Yes, the cashier did know where to find one (although he had to think about it for a moment). In fact, he recalled two of them.
I also walked into a pub and there was a cat on the counter. I couldn't quite put my finger on why that confused me so much, until I realised this would never have flown in Germany because of the tight food and health regulations. So that was definitely an eye-opener.
I also tried some Grolsch beer while I was there. It was surprisingly okay (I don't usually like beer.) There was an FC Bayern fan sticker in the bathroom, which was quite amusing.
I eventually decided to head home, because I was really tired. Bought myself some proper food in a grocery shop and had some cocoa and crisps at the hostel bar.
END OF DAY ONE.
Second part to be added tomorrow, as I can already tell it's also going to be lengthy and I'd like to sleep sometime.
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