Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT

WCDT 2907-2911 (2nd - 6th March 2015)

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ASB84:
While Dora may be disregarding Tai's feelings - and I agree that it's fair to say that she is - Tai is doing the same thing to her, only with better intentions. Dora's current approach to dealing with these issues isn't healthy, but she's also not in a place where she's ready to discuss them at length, or change her stance. If nothing else, maybe she doesn't feel like talking about right now, at this very moment with Tai. Perhaps she just wants to unwind after a day at work, and not think about all that right now.

Tai isn't completely out of line for pushing the issue, and it's fair that she wants that connection with Dora. At the same time, her approach was lacking in tact. Furthermore, if Dora does just want to unwind after a long day at work, and not get into some heavy issues in her life right now, is that something Tai really understands? After all, her approach to work is far more relaxed, and without the same burdens and stress that Dora is under. Her "Would it kill you to open up a little?" could also be read as a bit whiny, as much as it may be good advice. What's more important: that Tai feel validated, or Dora be given some space and allowed to deal with a tough issue in her own time?

It's been brought up already, but I also think it's important to keep the extent of Dora's pushing people away in perspective. We're talking about two people, not a whole lot (to use the word Tai did) or a constant stream of people. Just two. The first is someone who is a family member, yes, but also someone that she does have a strained relationship with. The trigger event was iffy and somewhat of an overreaction, but it's a little more understandable in the grand scheme of things, when their whole history is taken into account. The second person is someone who made a huge mistake and forced her to make a tough but reasonable decision as an employer, which unfortunately had additional ramifications due to them also being friends. Giving Faye her space is not a bad idea, given the circumstances.

As far as the future of Dora and Tai's relationship, perhaps this will be a good thing. Perhaps it will encourage Dora to open up a little. Perhaps they can grow as a couple, because the argument will allow Tai to get over her infatuation - and she's been infatuated for a LONG time - and they can settle into a stable, post-honeymoon period relationship.

I really don't think any of the cast members are in a position to scold Dora, either...least of all Marten. I mean, if he's going to criticise anyone for being passive or passive-aggressive, they've got so much ammunition against him that he'll be apologising for weeks.

Besides, that's the wrong tact. Dora needs to be offered a calm and logical perspective, or asked a question that is firm but non-confrontational; something that will prompt her to evaluate the situation and help her move forward in dealing with it. Confrontation and lectures are not going to be effective, they're only going to trigger defenses and cause insult.

Come to think of it, Dora and Faye are basically opposites in how they should be helped by the rest of the gang. With Faye's abrasiveness and preference for intimidation, it takes a stern remark (such as the one Hanners delivered last week) or blunt question/statement (see some of her early interactions with Raven) to cut through her defenses and get a message through. With Dora's temper and insecurities, letting her calm down and appealing to her common sense and rationale seems a more effective approach.

TRVA123:
Now that I'm thinking about it, did Dora ever open up to Marten? I mean, they dated for at least a year, yet Sven is the one who told Marten about Dora's relationship history. I'm not saying people are obligated to disclose past relationships to their lover, but usually if you've been dating for a long time you will talk about those kind of topics.

Dora just might not be used to a relationship where your partner wants to know what motivates you. Or maybe she is too used to it, and someone she dated in the past, and opened up to, used that as a way to abuse her.

CaptainFish:

--- Quote from: ASB84 on 04 Mar 2015, 06:50 ---While Dora may be disregarding Tai's feelings - and I agree that it's fair to say that she is - Tai is doing the same thing to her, only with better intentions. Dora's current approach to dealing with these issues isn't healthy, but

[1] she's also not in a place where she's ready to discuss them at length, or change her stance.

[2] she doesn't feel like talking about right now, at this very moment with Tai.

[3] she just wants to unwind after a day at work, and not think about all that right now.
--- End quote ---

I think these would all be great responses to Tai's statement in panel 3, and I think Tai would've acquiesced. Of course she would understand needing time to get over a trust issue with a close friend. 2 would've lead to some more relationship trouble, but in a more civil manner. The problem is she didn't say anything about her emotional condition.

All your statements have a time aspect to them that is accurate to how I believe the comic will play out. With time and some intervention from friends, Dora will be able to deal with this stuff. But nothing about her answers to Tai convey that she feels like this is something she needs to manage over time. She made the decisions in the past and now she doesn't want to think about them anymore. If she actually said that to Tai it would still be a better answer than 'stop worrying about me,' but would've revealed how unhealthy her way of dealing with the situation is.

Half Empty Coffee Cup:
Goddamnit, Dora. That's not how you relationship.

eschaton:
It's interesting to consider that Jeph has never portrayed a "bad" relationship in strip.  I don't mean one devoid of conflict.  I mean a character getting involved with someone who was manipulative, abusive, etc.  We *know* Dora has a past like this, but we didn't see it in the comic, which makes it somewhat distant.  It might just be that Jeph isn't a sadist, and doesn't like to see his characters suffer needlessly. 

Actually, that makes me think about the real reason that Dora dislikes Sven so much, despite him not doing anything that bad to her.  I bet Sven's antics with the ladies remind her a lot of at least one, if not more, horrible exes she had.  Sven is selfish and self-absorbed, but he isn't manipulative or abusive.  But I could see Dora considering his declaration of love an attempt at entrapment - him trying to play mind games with Faye to get her under his control again.  Given how control-obsessed she is, that's how I think she'd read the situation anyway. 

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