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Faye

Bubbles

Corpse Witch

Marten

Space Ham

Pie

Nope

[Method of Madness]

Re: her resume - she could just say she did chassis repair at a skatepark, and list Bubbles as her reference.

[SpanielBear]

I have a thought- What if this is about Bubbles?

Saying that she is there to look after vulnerable people, wanting Faye to tell if anything's happening- a scenario might be this:

After The Event, Bubbles leaves the military. She is obviously hurting. Her CO may notice this. He may feel empathy, or responsibility, or maybe even guilt. For whatever reason, he pulls some strings with old friends and colleagues. A few calls and a bottle of Johnny Walker later, and the head of the local precinct calls his latest A.I. D.I into his office. He has a job for her...

This may also explain the cop's attitude, if it needs analysis- she joined to protect and serve, and instead she has to babysit.

Just a thought.

[WareWolf]

I have a thought- What if this is about Bubbles?

I was wondering the same thing.

[WareWolf]

Other options are:

d) Eat the pie
e) Ignore the pie

Option d, I would think.

We know that the cake is a lie. If pie is, too, that would be almost too much to bear.

[themacnut]

While it's entirely possible that this could be a Corpse Witch fakeout or an AI babysitting job, it's really not necessary for Jeph to throw in such twists. Faye is working at an illegal enterprise. Being confronted by agents of law enforcement is one of the risks associated with that; something I'm sure Faye never really thought about until now.

Faye is, sadly, no innocent citizen being unfairly harassed by the cops. Her job supports the activities of the illegal enterprise she works for, and she could go to prison for that. That is more than enough drama and suspense by itself.

[JimC]

Further, because it's illegal, there's no way to legally deal with taxing the resulting income,

I don't know about the US, but in the UK when I was working in the cash economy, I simply declared the income on my tax return and paid tax on it as normal.  The sources of the income were pretty vaguely listed, and no doubt if the tax man had decided to do a full investigation into my affairs they'd have been seeking a lot of clarification, but fundamentally, here at least, they like to make it easy for you to pay tax, and if you're obviously not living a megabucks lifestyle why should they bother to look hard at you when there are so many better targets?  Of course many people working in the cash economy don't pay tax, in the hope they won't get caught, but that's a choice.

[Is it cold in here?]

Global Moderator Comment

I've moved police-related posts that aren't about the comic to DISCUSS, in two different threads, one about talking to the police and one about police conduct in general. It hasn't been my best work, sad to say. It's more a ragged tear than a split.

[Is it cold in here?]

Shaken down by vice.  I think I can see where this might be going, and it ought to be a good story.

That having been said, that cop just made an enemy, you can read it in Faye's expression.  If that cop is actually competent, that was on purpose rather than accidental.

Making an enemy of The Pugnacious Peach on purpose is something I'd only do for very good reason. How would it help Nameless Cop with her job?

[Truec]

Okay, I have a wild and bizarre theory that is going to turn the way we're looking at this on it's head.

Maybe it actually is exactly what it looks like.  An AI cop is making contact with and leaning on a low level employee in an illegal but tolerated shady area to let her know if anything worse starts happening. No secret tests of character or impending crackdown required.

[aliensporebomb]

I actually have a theory about this, but having read QC before, I don't want to spoil it if Jeph is thinking the same way I am (and he might be, but I also might be wrong).

Interesting developments!

[jheartney]

Okay, I have a wild and bizarre theory that is going to turn the way we're looking at this on it's head.

Maybe it actually is exactly what it looks like.  An AI cop is making contact with and leaning on a low level employee in an illegal but tolerated shady area to let her know if anything worse starts happening. No secret tests of character or impending crackdown required.

It's a safe bet than we haven't seen the last of purple gumshoe cop; see the concept of Chekhov's Gun. Perhaps our picture of Corpse Witch is about to take a turn for the worse.

[jheartney]

Further, because it's illegal, there's no way to legally deal with taxing the resulting income,

I don't know about the US, but in the UK when I was working in the cash economy, I simply declared the income on my tax return and paid tax on it as normal.  The sources of the income were pretty vaguely listed, and no doubt if the tax man had decided to do a full investigation into my affairs they'd have been seeking a lot of clarification, but fundamentally, here at least, they like to make it easy for you to pay tax, and if you're obviously not living a megabucks lifestyle why should they bother to look hard at you when there are so many better targets?  Of course many people working in the cash economy don't pay tax, in the hope they won't get caught, but that's a choice.

If any substantial portion of Faye's income is from a single source, that source will be expected to file a form 1099 declaring the income. Faye will need to file Schedules C and SE declaring her freelance business income, and paying a pretty large portion as self-employment tax (in lieu of Social Security tax). She'll also be expected to file quarterly estimated taxes including enough to cover most of her upcoming tax liability for both state and local taxes.

If there's no matching 1099's from the skate park, it'll raise red flags with both the IRS and the Drug Enforcement Administration. But I can't imagine the skate park filing the 1099 given the income is from illegal activity. So no, I don't think Faye is paying taxes.

[retrosteve]

Screw the legal advice. There's no legal advice that could help Faye now.

She should go over their heads. Nuclear option. Time to have a chat with Hanner's mom Beatrice.

[Kugai]

Something definitely smells here, and it ain't the Pie.

[Is it cold in here?]

Where "nuclear option" might not be a metaphor.

Hannermom may not remember Faye fondly, though.

[Perfectly Reasonable]

I get the impression 'playing Phil' is not a game I want to play. Google has failed me.

But what about Police Lady's complexion? It is DFBED7 --- but what is the name of that color?
You can get a hex code for any color you care to name, but going the other way is fraught.

I'm gonna call her "Officer Lilac".

[Is it cold in here?]

The Urban Dictionary is also silent about "playing Phil".

[Penquin47]

I don't like the sound of that "...entrenched".

[hedgie]

Where "nuclear option" might not be a metaphor.

Hannermom may not remember Faye fondly, though.

Considering how pissed Hannermom got, she just might not remember Faye at all.

[Is it cold in here?]

Marten has suggested a way forward for Faye.

I just had a mental picture of Faye saying "Officer Lilac? I'd like to introduce you to a concerned citizen with direct knowledge of what's going on in the skate park. Officer Lilac, could you please repeat what you told me last night to Bubbles here?"

Anybody know US money laundering law? Could Marten really get in trouble if he put money from illegal gambling into his bank account?

I wonder who the "big fish" are and what they might have to do with a petty gambling operation. "Big fish" don't like being taken down.

There's a perfectly natural progression of events that would lead to a spinoff series with Faye living under a new name in the witness protection program. It would take BenRG's talents to do justice to that idea.

[Morituri]

'Phil' is an elaborate prank shitkickers play in boonie bars, which, if they're successful, culminates in a bar fight.  Picking fights and beating the hell out of people is what shitkickers consider to be good fun.

Some out of towner comes in off the highway, and one of the kickers pretends to recognize him.  "Hey, Phil!  Damn, good to see you!  Bartender, hey get this man a beer!" 

If the bartender, or the bouncer, NOTICES what's going on in time, the game is brought to a halt. If the stranger has the good sense to turn down a free beer and explain that he's not Phil, the game never gets started.  But sooner or later they find a sucker and get started.

Otherwise a bunch of 'Phil's' buddies start crowding around, damn glad to see Phil again, and start reminiscing about good times they've had together....  Good times which get steadily more sordid as the tales grow taller.  "Remember that time all of us got drunk and went out hunting that night and you tried to hump that bull?" .... "Dude, great to see ya!  When did they let you out of jail?  I thought you were going up forever after you got caught running weed disguised as a nun!" et cetera...

Sooner or later, the guy can't accept being 'Phil' any more and breaks the news that, no, he's not really Phil, he's just somebody who must look a lot like Phil, and the kickers get all cheesed off at this guy who's been 'pretending' to be their old buddy Phil and VERY SUDDENLY switch to violent mode and beat the crap out of him, trying to involve as many people around them in the fight as possible.  And at this point they've been getting ready and a couple of them will usually be ready to try to suckerpunch the bouncer when he wades in to break it up.  The only guy whose arm I ever actually had to break was swinging a motorcycle chain at me the first time I tried to break one of these games up.

They especially like it if there's a biker gang in the bar at the time; get one member of a biker gang wound up and into the fight and the whole bunch of them will join in.

[Near Lurker]

...is that a beer?

[Tova]

I don't like the sound of that "...entrenched".

I wonder if it will soon occur to Faye that Bubbles may be the one being exploited.

[Timemaster]

Who´s that guy with the black hair? Ithink I´ve seen him before, but can´t exactly remember when.
He used to be important, didn´t he?

 

TM

[cesium133]

'Phil' is an elaborate prank shitkickers play in boonie bars, which, if they're successful, culminates in a bar fight.  Picking fights and beating the hell out of people is what shitkickers consider to be good fun.

Some out of towner comes in off the highway, and one of the kickers pretends to recognize him.  "Hey, Phil!  Damn, good to see you!  Bartender, hey get this man a beer!" 

If the bartender, or the bouncer, NOTICES what's going on in time, the game is brought to a halt. If the stranger has the good sense to turn down a free beer and explain that he's not Phil, the game never gets started.  But sooner or later they find a sucker and get started.

Otherwise a bunch of 'Phil's' buddies start crowding around, damn glad to see Phil again, and start reminiscing about good times they've had together....  Good times which get steadily more sordid as the tales grow taller.  "Remember that time all of us got drunk and went out hunting that night and you tried to hump that bull?" .... "Dude, great to see ya!  When did they let you out of jail?  I thought you were going up forever after you got caught running weed disguised as a nun!" et cetera...

Sooner or later, the guy can't accept being 'Phil' any more and breaks the news that, no, he's not really Phil, he's just somebody who must look a lot like Phil, and the kickers get all cheesed off at this guy who's been 'pretending' to be their old buddy Phil and VERY SUDDENLY switch to violent mode and beat the crap out of him, trying to involve as many people around them in the fight as possible.  And at this point they've been getting ready and a couple of them will usually be ready to try to suckerpunch the bouncer when he wades in to break it up.  The only guy whose arm I ever actually had to break was swinging a motorcycle chain at me the first time I tried to break one of these games up.

They especially like it if there's a biker gang in the bar at the time; get one member of a biker gang wound up and into the fight and the whole bunch of them will join in.

I'd never go to that sort of bar, and wouldn't accept a drink from some random person I've never met who claims to know me, but nonetheless I think I'd be tempted to go along with the stories no matter how sordid they get... 

...is that a beer?

Or could just be soda. Or root beer. Or cat urine from a very ill cat.

[Morituri]

If you want to talk about exploitation, Bubbles honestly would be my first bet.

She never (or almost never) goes out.  She spends her nights at the skatepark.  She doesn't even have her own apartment and if she has personal effects aside from the armor she's wearing, we've never seen them.   It seems like she has an EXTREMELY frugal lifestyle.  The kind of lifestyle that might be led by someone with no income at all.  A cup of tea is the only thing we've ever seen her buy.

And she's got a full-time skilled job doing repairs.  If she's getting paid at all, she's making some very peculiar lifestyle choices.

So...  my bet would be that she's AWOL rather than properly discharged, and Corpse Witch is using the threat of MP's to blackmail her into slave labor. 

[Is it cold in here?]

So why doesn't she trust Marten to advise her about Officer Lilac? Why does she have a moral "quandry"[sic] now if she didn't before?

Is she taking the cop's dark hints seriously and worrying that there's something far uglier going on than she realized?

[Storel]

Anybody know US money laundering law? Could Marten really get in trouble if he put money from illegal gambling into his bank account?

Why would it go into his bank account? I expect Faye gives him an envelope full of cash every month for her half of the rent, Marten adds cash or a check for his half of the rent to the envelope, and then he forwards the envelope to their landlord, whoever/wherever that may be.

'Phil' is an elaborate prank shitkickers play in boonie bars, which, if they're successful, culminates in a bar fight.  Picking fights and beating the hell out of people is what shitkickers consider to be good fun....

You've had an extremely interesting life, Morituri. And I say that in the nicest possible way.

So why doesn't she trust Marten to advise her about Officer Lilac? Why does she have a moral "quandry"[sic] now if she didn't before?

Is she taking the cop's dark hints seriously and worrying that there's something far uglier going on than she realized?

Very possibly.

[cesium133]

Most landlords won't accept cash. Most likely, Faye gives her part of the rent to Marten in cash, then Marten writes a check, depositing the cash if he needs to to cover the amount.

[BenRG]

It's to Faye's credit that she's kept Bubbles' problems to herself; Marten clearly doesn't think that Bubbles is at risk when, given her very obvious PTSD, I would say that she is, especially if the place where she's 'comfortable' is at risk. That's what Faye means by 'entrenched', IMO - Bubbles views the place as one of her few safe refuges. I think that she'd have a really difficult time adapting to living anywhere else, let alone being comfortable there.

Meanwhile... I suddenly realise that Marten has always been like this. Given a choice, he'll try to deflect discussing a difficult situation by trying to turn it into a joke. Usually, by the end of the strip, you suddenly realise that it's because he doesn't see any good outcome, so he'd prefer not to think too hard about it.

I suspect that I know where this is going, though. I think that Faye is going to try to convince Bubbles to move on rather than wait for the hammer to fall.

Most landlords won't accept cash. Most likely, Faye gives her part of the rent to Marten in cash, then Marten writes a check, depositing the cash if he needs to to cover the amount.

I think that it's more likely that they both have a direct deposit from their bank accounts. If anyone is at fault, it's the cashiers at Faye's local branch for not questioning why she's depositing large amounts of used notes.

[cesium133]

I guess this is technically the 21st century. The management at my apartment are stuck in the 20th century, and it's checks only there, no direct deposit.

[Emperor Norton]

If any substantial portion of Faye's income is from a single source, that source will be expected to file a form 1099 declaring the income. Faye will need to file Schedules C and SE declaring her freelance business income, and paying a pretty large portion as self-employment tax (in lieu of Social Security tax). She'll also be expected to file quarterly estimated taxes including enough to cover most of her upcoming tax liability for both state and local taxes.

If there's no matching 1099's from the skate park, it'll raise red flags with both the IRS and the Drug Enforcement Administration. But I can't imagine the skate park filing the 1099 given the income is from illegal activity. So no, I don't think Faye is paying taxes.

My main work is as a marketing consultant for a company out of Japan (as in 2/3rds of my income each year at least). Being in Japan, they don't care about filling out US tax forms. I just fill out the income on my self-employment forms and go on my way. Never had any problems at all with the IRS.

[Sullivan]

Whoa. Has Jeph never before revealed that the QC universe is in a "post-scarcity" economy?

Or was that a sarcastic statement by Marten?

Doesn't seem very "post-scarcity" given all the concern in the comic for jobs, money, etc.

[BenRG]

I think that you misread, Sullivan. Marten is saying that, by the nature of the world, we are all implicated in some way in someone's crimes (even only if an unknowing accessory, long after the fact) until society becomes post-scarcity.

[Sullivan]

That makes sense.

Speaking of which, I now want pie. Jeph and all posters in this thread are complicit.

[Gyrre]

Further, because it's illegal, there's no way to legally deal with taxing the resulting income,

I don't know about the US, but in the UK when I was working in the cash economy, I simply declared the income on my tax return and paid tax on it as normal.  The sources of the income were pretty vaguely listed, and no doubt if the tax man had decided to do a full investigation into my affairs they'd have been seeking a lot of clarification, but fundamentally, here at least, they like to make it easy for you to pay tax, and if you're obviously not living a megabucks lifestyle why should they bother to look hard at you when there are so many better targets?  Of course many people working in the cash economy don't pay tax, in the hope they won't get caught, but that's a choice.

She could just report it as self-employment on her taxes.

[Tova]

Speaking of which, I now want pie. Jeph and all posters in this thread are complicit.

I regret nothing.

[Lubricus]

Speaking of which, I now want pie. Jeph and all posters in this thread are complicit.

I regret nothing.

I regret not having pie.

[bhtooefr]

https://www.irs.gov/publications/p17/ch12.html#en_US_2015_publink1000172108

Illegal activities.   Income from illegal activities, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.

One thing worth noting is that the IRS doesn't care how you got the money, just that you're paying taxes on it, and all of the legal structures are such that it's just presented as "other income", and therefore you're not incriminating yourself.

[TheEvilDog]

Speaking of which, I now want pie. Jeph and all posters in this thread are complicit.

I regret nothing.

I regret not having pie.

I had the pie last night.

There is none left.
 

[Zebediah]

Speaking of which, I now want pie. Jeph and all posters in this thread are complicit.

I regret nothing.

I regret regretting nothing.

[jheartney]

https://www.irs.gov/publications/p17/ch12.html#en_US_2015_publink1000172108

Illegal activities.   Income from illegal activities, such as money from dealing illegal drugs, must be included in your income on Form 1040, line 21, or on Schedule C or Schedule C-EZ (Form 1040) if from your self-employment activity.

One thing worth noting is that the IRS doesn't care how you got the money, just that you're paying taxes on it, and all of the legal structures are such that it's just presented as "other income", and therefore you're not incriminating yourself.

So I guess all my clients can just stop bothering to file their 1099's, since the IRS is so blasé about it.

Don't forget the DEA and FBI may be very interested in where all this cash is coming from. Or, in QC land, whatever government branch Detective Lilac is from.

If anyone is at fault, it's the cashiers at Faye's local branch for not questioning why she's depositing large amounts of used notes.

Above certain amounts, they'd be required to tip off IRS/FBI of the deposits. Faye wouldn't necessarily be notified that they were doing so.

Laundering large amounts of cash from drug transactions is a major enterprise. There's a continuing cat-and-mouse war between the relevant government agencies and the illegal enterprises generating the cash. (See Walter White's Car Wash for a famous example from fiction.) The gambling money from the robot fighting rink would be no different. The inherent illegality of taking this income is the basis for Detective Lilac's implicit threat to Faye.

[Akima]

Marten is saying that, by the nature of the world, we are all implicated in some way in someone's crimes (even only if an unknowing accessory, long after the fact) until society becomes post-scarcity.

Just so. And how right he is, particularly if the crimes committed in other countries to produce our t-shirts etc. are included.

[Emperor Norton]

Actually:

Because the ability to tax income does collide with the 5th amendment, you are not required to exactly specify where money comes from and the IRS is not allowed to, of its own volition, share your Tax records with law enforcement. If law enforcement has a warrant for the information, they can hand it over, but they can't just go "huh, illegal income" and alert law enforcement agencies (the exception being if they suspect terrorism).

The reason for this is simple: They want people to pay taxes on their income, they aren't there to enforce the law.

[DSL]

Which is why using the Infernal Revenue Service to enforce health-insurance enrollment is going over SO well.

[Method of Madness]

Global Moderator Comment

While this is definitely interesting, and I'm certainly not discouraging this topic, I feel like I should give the obvious disclaimer that nobody should take anything here as legal advice.

[Is it cold in here?]

True and important!

That said, if you're ever in Faye's situation, remember that legal advisors tell people that only the prosecutor can grant immunity. That's exactly the sort of thing someone like Faye wouldn't know.

Imagine how this would go if Faye didn't have her core of ethics and loyalty. She'd start turning people in to save her [neck]. She'd have an incentive to testify against as many people as possible. She'd have an incentive to throw innocent people into the gears, because the guilty people may have organized crime connections that make it too dangerous to inform on them.

I'm not speculating, this is how it plays out in real life according to my reading.

So it's not legal advice, it's practical advice, to drop any friends in (for example) the drug scene. Being innocent is some protection and occasionally useful but NOT enough!

[Spoe]

... the IRS is not allowed to, of its own volition, share your Tax records with law enforcement.

The flip side is, just like Al Capone, sometimes what brings a criminal down is not having paid taxes on their illegal income, not their original crimes.

[sitnspin]

Since the introduction of RICO, I don't think tax evasion is nearly as common an approach as it used to be. All you really have to do now is snag some lower level operator and use them to drag down the organisation.

[Morituri]

If Bubbles has not been discharged, and has been absent for more than 180 days, then unless she goes back to the Army on her own initiative or can prove she at least intended to (which seems unlikely), she'll be prosecuted for Desertion.

Either way her unit's Commanding Officer has very wide latitude in how to handle the situation.  But Desertion is extremely serious, and AWOL is much less so.

If she gets charged with AWOL rather than Desertion, then in the best case, if the CO thinks there are extenuating circumstances (including psychological trauma) or decides given her circumstances that she's been 'punished enough', she could just be handed an Administrative Summary Discharge and walk away.  More likely given the amount of time she's been gone, she could get an OTHC (Other Than Honorable Conditions) Discharge, which is similar but revokes any decorations etc and strips her of all rank for purposes of benefits, retirement, etc.  There's an outside chance that she could get a DD (Dishonorable) discharge, which has all the bad parts of an OTHC and, as an added benefit, would strip her of 'veteran' status for all VA and retirement benefits and show up on her criminal record.    In the absolute worst case, if the CO is vindictive or just plain vicious, she could be tried by Court Martial, get the DD, AND spend up to a year in the stockade.  But in the modern US military that hardly ever happens.  Usually long-term AWOL accept an OTHC discharge as an alternative to court-martial. Less than one percent of AWOL go to court martial in the last few years, and even if they do go to court martial they aren't very likely to get a DD and/or stockade time.  DD is usually reserved for people who did actively bad things in conjunction with their AWOL, like destroying military property,  trying to convince others to leave the at the same time, leaving the army to avoid punishment for something else, etc.

EDIT:  On reflection, working at an illegal fighting arena is technically a criminal offense that might motivate her commanding officer to press for a DD.

On the other hand if she gets charged with Desertion it's much much worse.  The CO has a lot of discretion about what kind of Court Martial to convene, and can limit penalties to as little as 30 days stockade time and/or OTHC by convening one with less authority - but it usually does go straight to a Court Martial and a DD is usually part of the penalties.  Although Deserters are only rarely sentenced to more than 6 months, there is essentially no limit to the penalty in a Desertion case.  Depending on the circumstances and what else she did, she could be looking at up to life imprisonment. 

Anyway, if Bubbles is not properly discharged, then absolutely the best thing she could do for purposes of getting on with her life would be to engage an attorney (yes there are civilian attorneys who specialize in military justice), then use the attorney to contact her unit and handle the defense and/or discharge negotiation.  That would guarantee that she'd be charged with AWOL rather than Desertion, because it would show an intent to return.

Of course if CW is not paying her, then she probably can't scratch together enough money to get an attorney to sneeze on her case, let alone argue it to her CO and/or a Court Martial.