Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT Strips 3506 to 3510 (19 June to 23 June 2017)
Tova:
Don't mind Case, he's just feeling a little perky.
Case:
--- Quote from: Tova on 22 Jun 2017, 04:52 ---Don't mind Case, he's just feeling a little perky.
--- End quote ---
DannyboyTheDane:
--- Quote from: Tova on 22 Jun 2017, 04:45 ---Welcome, new person!
If Dora did express that opinion... my immediate reaction is to wonder whether this opinion was formed, not on her own, but during discussion with her therapist.
There are two sides to every relationship difficulty, and yes, Dora was very insecure, but it's not an unfair observation to make, IMO, that Marten did not (and does not) handle insecurity well. Considering how well balanced Marten normally is, this is one of the very few scenarios that Marten fails to handle with equanimity (the other one that comes to mind being his mother expressing her sexuality).
Considering Marten's sure handling of his and Claire's relationship in all other respects, his loss of balance here is notable.
--- End quote ---
Thank you!
I'm curious, how do you read Marten as not handling insecurity well? It strikes me that I'm not entirely sure what metrics we're looking at. As for this particular situation, is his reaction not more rooted in his own insecurity than in his handling of others'? It turns out to be about Claire's insecurity, which is very understandable, but his initial reaction seems to be "Oh, shit, I don't want my girlfriend to learn about one of my low points and my actions during it!"
EDIT: Huh, I just read it back with this point in mind, and I noticed something new: Throughout the majority of the two strips, Marten appears concerned about having his shameful past explored; he seems genuinely surprised at Claire's question if he still misses Padma, and both that and his swift, clearly worrying (I'm not sure if that's the most accurate word here) and insisting reassurance of her leads me to believe he hadn't, up until that point, considered that Claire could feel insecure about it. I guess in that respect you could say he may not be the most attentive regarding the insecurities of his partners - if for no other reason than that any doubt about his love for his partners is so far from his mind that he maybe tends to underestimate its presence in the minds of his partners.
Tova:
I think you're right that his initial reaction is rooted in his own insecurity. There isn't just one factor causing this ripple. There's a layering of emotions here.
But consider the level of alarm in response to Claire's question, "Do you miss her?"
As a point of comparison, consider how calm and reassuring he is in response to her question, "And you're... comfortable with the fact that I'm trans?"
If Marten were able to respond to the first question with the same level of calmness and reassurance as he did the second, then I would say that he's good at dealing with insecurity.
Edit: I've just read your edit, and I see that you're now contemplating the same panel I am referring to. Some good thoughts there.
DannyboyTheDane:
Ah, yes, I see your point. I also think I now see the difference in interpretation of being good at dealing with insecurity: Marten has always been good at reassuring people of his love for them, which I saw as him handling their insecurity well - but as you point out, he tends to be surprised whenever it's brought up, revealing a lacking understanding of just how deep and persistent insecurity can be. I hear in my head his reaction to one of Dora's insecurity attacks (paraphrased): "How long will it take until she realises I want to be with her?"
I also feel this is underscored by the comparison example you just provided: Marten is very aware of how sensitive a subject Claire's gender identity is, which is why he's able to handle it so calmly and well.
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