Fun Stuff > CHATTER
What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
Is it cold in here?:
My situation is I'm trying to avoid collisions and having trouble making that work, when everyone around me seems to handle it automatically.
jesslc:
Plenty of things, but if I have to pick one I'll go with performing happiness for the "Hi, how are you?" exchange. I can't do it. I understand that this is just a stock greeting phrase, and my job is to complete the circuit by responding with "Good, and how are you?"
Well, I understand all that in theory - but I find myself incapable of saying I'm good when I'm not. I've had to come up with some socially acceptable responses that I can say when I'm not good. Because responding with a true response when you're not good is generally not socially acceptable. I've taken to using "could be worse" a lot. It's generally true and it doesn't result in people staring at you like you made some horrible faux pas.
oddtail:
--- Quote from: jesslc on 26 Sep 2019, 03:10 ---Plenty of things, but if I have to pick one I'll go with performing happiness for the "Hi, how are you?" exchange. I can't do it. I understand that this is just a stock greeting phrase, and my job is to complete the circuit by responding with "Good, and how are you?"
Well, I understand all that in theory - but I find myself incapable of saying I'm good when I'm not. I've had to come up with some socially acceptable responses that I can say when I'm not good. Because responding with a true response when you're not good is generally not socially acceptable. I've taken to using "could be worse" a lot. It's generally true and it doesn't result in people staring at you like you made some horrible faux pas.
--- End quote ---
FWIW, it's not (necessarily) a general "neurotypical people" thing, it's more of a "Anglosphere" thing. The stock response is much less expected in Poland, and I've heard it's similar in a number of other European countries.
Wingy:
There's a social signal "I acknowledge your presence" along with a registration of some prior relationship that the "how are you? Good. And you?" exchange is all about. To give any information outside of that general realm is demanding the asker to think, and perhaps stop to chat, which may or may not be desirable, and if it is undesirable, could damage in some small degree, the relationship. Once I figured this out, I got past my desire to have a conversation in the "passing in the hall" circumstance.
Morituri:
You can also short-circuit that by answering what they meant instead of what they said.
It'll be technically a non-sequitur but nobody will ever notice because they actually aren't thinking about what they said.
So here's what happened. They said "Hi, how are you," when they actually meant "Hello" and "We're acquainted with each other."
So you can just ignore the how-are-you question they said, and answer what they meant instead. "Hi, good to see you!" or "Hello, it's been awhile hasn't it?" answers in kind even though technically it is a non-sequitur to the how-are-you question.
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