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What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
Gyrre:
I'll never understand why some things are considered "rude". I'm too tired to think of a specific example, but I'm sure everyone else can.
Then there's the folks who are offended by simple honesty. I know I can be blunt, but that doesn't change the observation.
Some of the shocked reactions I've seen to stating other observations is also baffling. The things that simply don't occur to some neurotypical people is just strange.
--- Quote from: JoeCovenant on 01 Jul 2019, 11:57 ---*snip*
Ignoring sense of smell...? I don't get that one at all. (Is that a thing?)
--- End quote ---
I have a very strong sense of smell (when my nose isn't stopped up from allergies) and it helps provide important info on my surroundings.
Some folks don't seem to bother trying to smell anything around them and may only react to particularly foul smells (a terrible fart, oniony B.O., skunk, etc).
Having played D&D for a couple of years now, I've noticed that my characters are pretty much the only ones trying to smell things regardless of race. It normally throws off other players and DMs alike. The only exceptions being other players on the autism spectrum. My gnome's nose takes up a quarter of his face. Why wouldn't he try to smell around the room for clues he couldn't see or hear?
oddtail:
--- Quote from: Gyrre on 01 Nov 2019, 00:46 ---I'll never understand why some things are considered "rude". I'm too tired to think of a specific example, but I'm sure everyone else can.
Then there's the folks who are offended by simple honesty. I know I can be blunt, but that doesn't change the observation.
Some of the shocked reactions I've seen to stating other observations is also baffling. The things that simply don't occur to some neurotypical people is just strange.
--- End quote ---
I'm with you on that, I don't emotionally understand why so many things are considered to be rude even (especially?) when they're to-the-point and helpful.
I navigate this by remembering that politeness is always about letting a person maintain a social distance while not making them feel alienated. Every single phrase you say (no exceptions) is either meant to establish a connection with a person or to acknowledge that you and that person differ. Every society has a balance of those two and if you don't keep it, you're either imposing on them or rejecting them. The key is to figure out which phrases decrease the social distance and which increase it, and what the expected distance is within a given relationship or group.
I'm not saying it makes sense to me (it doesn't), but thinking of it in terms of a "closeness metric" that you need to monitor makes things a bit easier. I still fail much (most?) of the time to conform with other people's expectations, but at least I tend to have a vague idea of what I maybe did wrong.
In the end, honesty and bluntness is perceived as threatening because you're meant to leave the person some space. Honesty is perceived as threatening that space, so in some situations it's unwelcome.
Thrillho:
I wrote a song about these kinds of experiences recently. One day I'll record it properly and post it on here.
Is it cold in here?:
The way they actually like noise may not be the _most_ baffling thing but I have no comprehension of it.
hedgie:
--- Quote from: oddtail on 01 Nov 2019, 02:51 ---
I navigate this by remembering that politeness is always about letting a person maintain a social distance while not making them feel alienated. Every single phrase you say (no exceptions) is either meant to establish a connection with a person or to acknowledge that you and that person differ. Every society has a balance of those two and if you don't keep it, you're either imposing on them or rejecting them. The key is to figure out which phrases decrease the social distance and which increase it, and what the expected distance is within a given relationship or group.
--- End quote ---
Aah. Yes, navigating the optimal distance to both be close enough, but to avoid pain. It's quite the dilemma.
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