Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT strips 4241-4245 (13th April to 17th April, 2020)
Tova:
--- Quote from: sitnspin on 19 Apr 2020, 09:19 ---
--- Quote from: Autistic Vulture on 19 Apr 2020, 09:02 ---Clinton did it right. Giving your number to someone causes much less awkwardness than asking for a number. The pursued person thus doesn't have to give a response at that time, and everyone can be on their way with much less tension in the air.
--- End quote ---
This right here. You make an offer, it is on them to use it or not. You are offering them something rather than making a request of them. That is how you demonstrate your interest in someone and establish a modicum of trust.
--- End quote ---
In the interest of full disclosure, I am not one to try to exchange phone numbers in these kinds of situations, but I have to ask. Is giving your number to someone really less likely to cause awkwardness than asking for theirs? I would have thought that handing your phone number over could also be awkward.
My impression was that this guy handled it pretty well. What could have been very uncomfortable would have been if he'd reacted in any way negatively to the refusal, but he accepted it with perfectly good grace.
And Brun was not uncomfortable at all. You may point out that not all people would have been like that, but maybe this guy actually correctly figured that she would be the type not to be bothered by it. It's possible.
I would bet that for every person out there who is a bit uncomfortable with someone making an advance like that, there is another who wishes people would be a bit more willing to be more forward.
Reaver:
--- Quote from: sitnspin on 19 Apr 2020, 08:47 ---
--- Quote from: los_alamos_bomb on 19 Apr 2020, 07:45 ---
--- Quote ---Really, Jeph? Really?
"Don't ask Strangers for their number! It could...gasp!...make them feel uncomfortable! And the last thing we can expect grown, adult people to deal with is...feeling uncomfortable!"
--- End quote ---
Thank you! I almost never post to these forums, but Jeph's declaration against asking for phone numbers is just awful enough to draw me in. You should definitely be willing to take no for an answer (graciously), but the idea that we can't pursue or even inquire about people we find interesting is just insanity. If bonds are to be built, someone has to take a chance, or we all just end up huddling in our own caves alone.
If you're one of those people who takes a lot of social cues from QC, please hear me when I say this: Jeph sometimes really gets wound around his own axle about his own hangups, which are often highly skewed from the standards of normal social interaction. On this issue, he is just plain wrong. If you like someone, talk to them. If you want to see them again, say so, ask for their number, ask them out. Be kind, be gentle, be gracious in rejection, but for the love of god don't isolate yourself even further in this already isolated world because you're terrified that you might for ten seconds make someone slightly uncomfortable.
--- End quote ---
Spoken like someone who has never had a dude threaten you because you said no to him.
Asking for them number of someone you just met, especially one you have barely interacted with (like this instance) is rude and presumptuous.
Just mho.
--- End quote ---
It's also ungodly rude to tell someone "I didn't say you can leave, you have to stay so I can pet your dog"
Guy was a jerk for not having his dog on leash, he acknowledged that and apologized, Brun proceeded to be ruder than him by informing him SHE never said he could leave, and then lectured him yet again after a polite request, that was easily accepted as a no.
I just don't care for the attitude of "If main character is rude/problematic it's absolutely fine, if other character does it, WOW HOW RUDE"
Autistic Vulture:
--- Quote from: Tova on 19 Apr 2020, 15:18 ---
--- Quote from: sitnspin on 19 Apr 2020, 09:19 ---
--- Quote from: Autistic Vulture on 19 Apr 2020, 09:02 ---Clinton did it right. Giving your number to someone causes much less awkwardness than asking for a number. The pursued person thus doesn't have to give a response at that time, and everyone can be on their way with much less tension in the air.
--- End quote ---
This right here. You make an offer, it is on them to use it or not. You are offering them something rather than making a request of them. That is how you demonstrate your interest in someone and establish a modicum of trust.
--- End quote ---
In the interest of full disclosure, I am not one to try to exchange phone numbers in these kinds of situations, but I have to ask. Is giving your number to someone really less likely to cause awkwardness than asking for theirs? I would have thought that handing your phone number over could also be awkward.
My impression was that this guy handled it pretty well. What could have been very uncomfortable would have been if he'd reacted in any way negatively to the refusal, but he accepted it with perfectly good grace.
--- End quote ---
Sure, he handled it well. That doesn't always happen IRL. There are certain people that will harass the object of their interest if they don't get the number, or will react with anger, etc. Giving the number makes these outcomes much less likely.
chris73:
--- Quote ---It's also ungodly rude to tell someone "I didn't say you can leave, you have to stay so I can pet your dog"
Guy was a jerk for not having his dog on leash, he acknowledged that and apologized, Brun proceeded to be ruder than him by informing him SHE never said he could leave, and then lectured him yet again after a polite request, that was easily accepted as a no.
I just don't care for the attitude of "If main character is rude/problematic it's absolutely fine, if other character does it, WOW HOW RUDE"
--- End quote ---
Thank you for this, its what I wanted to say. To me she lectured him for longer than was needed, then proceeded to do something that could be taken as flirting (or being forgiven) ie stay so I can pet your dog.
He picks up on that and asks, politely, if he can have her number which she refuses (no problems there) and the last thing she says to him is again another rebuke (keep the dog on the leash)
But yeah hes the one in the wrong
Tova:
Okay, so I can buy that it would have been more polite/less potentially discomfit-inducing for dog guy to give his number rather than ask for Brun's.
And it would have been more polite for Brun to stop lecturing once dog guy acknowledge his wrong-doing.
All fair points, but can we maybe keep things in their proper perspective rather than outright label one side or the other as RUDE or IN THE WRONG?
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