Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT strips 4381-4385 (Oct 26th to Oct 30th 2020)
Dandi Andi:
I've got to say that I don't recognize the comic you all seem to be reading. My first and biggest question through this entire week of discussion is, "what date are you talking about?"
They're not on a date. It's not even a sort-of-date. They are friends who are hanging out while one of them works. Last time they spoke to each other about their feelings (middle of August over an errant pork burrito), Clinton left it at "I need to think. Just... gimme some time and I'll have an honest answer for you." He didn't say "I'll have an answer for you the next time we talk." or "We can't continue to be friends while I redefine my relationship with my sexuality." Just "I need time." The next thing they said to each other was Clinton asking Elliot if he wanted to get a beer after work. He didn't text and say "Hey, I want to talk about our relationship." or even "He, we should talk." It was just "Hey, wanna grab a beer?" like friends would do. And talking about your feelings and having a Kissing Jessica Stein moment at work is just a terrible idea. And that was Elliot's very bad idea. Nothing about tonight implies that Elliot is going to get his answer and Clinton has done nothing to suggest otherwise.
And asking Brun if she's attracted to him? Well, that IS a problem, but not for any reason having to do with Elliot. It's a problem because she's at work. Hitting on someone while they're at work can put them in a really bad position. If they feel uncomfortable or threatened, they can't leave. And they're generally being paid to be nice to you so they can't speak frankly about their feelings. He shouldn't have put her on the spot while at work. But is he snubbing Elliot? No. Absolutely not. Because he and Elliot aren't dating. And even if they were, they haven't discussed exclusivity. I don't delete my dating profiles the moment I get a match. I have no problem with scheduling a date with one person on Friday and another on Saturday. And if Friday doesn't work out, Saturday isn't my "second choice". Otherwise, everyone I have asked out since taking Hanna Johnston to see Cast Away back in high school was a runner up. And even if we did apply that standard, Elliot told Rene that he was going to ask out whoever he saw next. Clinton happened to be the next person he saw. It could have just as easily been Brun. If Elliot deserves to be more than a "second choice", doesn't Clinton deserve to be more than a "coin toss". Throw Elliot into the volcano, too. Relationships are messy. Especially when they aren't relationships yet.
So Clinton, who is already friends with Elliot, invited Elliot to grab a beer. He wants to work out how he feels before moving forward. He bumped into Brun who he already definitely knows he's attracted to. He decided to settle the issue of whether or not either he or Elliot had a chance to pursue a relationship with her. That way he doesn't have that lingering in his mind while he works out his feelings for Elliot. He then returned upstairs and discussed their mutual attraction to Brun which was already a topic of conversation between them several times in the past. He's clearly hanging out with Elliot as a friend and seeing if anything develops; exactly like he said he wanted to.
Elliot, however, is anxious for some emotional resolution. He wants to know where he stands with Clinton. He's hurt because Clinton is treating him exactly the way he always does. The only thing Clinton seems to have done to hurt Elliot was not giving him his resolution yet. His big crime was not managing Elliot's expectations and feelings for him. Elliot is a grown ass man and Clinton doesn't owe him that.
I'm sorry. I just can't be mad at him for any of this.
N.N. Marf:
The disagreement isn't toxic---yet---but some opinions here are pernicious. Hell, maybe some my opinions are:
--- Quote from: bright on 30 Oct 2020, 10:46 ---People should debate each other about the merits of each other's opinions. It leads to learning experiences.
--- End quote ---
--- Quote from: neurocase on 30 Oct 2020, 07:09 ---
--- Quote from: SpanielBear on 30 Oct 2020, 07:07 ---Other people might forgive you for their own mental health, but you should *never* forget or forgive yourself.
--- End quote ---
forgiving yourself is an important component to personal growth.
--- End quote ---
Not forgiving myself---certainly not forgetting---is one of the ways I avoid repeating past mistakes. i also don't forgive others---it's enough to simply not cling to some harm they caused, after everything's settled---but I do sometimes forget; rather, I don't recall some things often enough to have them ready in my mind each time I'm considering the transgressor, but if I ever try something serious with them, I'm sure to go over all those things, even the little things. Perhaps if you have a tendency to focus too much on little problems, or to think of little problems as big problems, then it might be better for you to forget about it or make it out like it has no effect, which is dishonest, but towards truth.
--- Quote from: tangerinewarrior on 30 Oct 2020, 07:33 ---I also disagree with the sentiment that Clinton is an asshole here- he is not intentionally trying to hurt or manipulate Eliot.
--- End quote ---
I think this is the subtle distinction between asshole and asshat: An asshole is intentionally. An asshat is negligently.
--- Quote from: Thrillho on 30 Oct 2020, 08:50 ---and if you are untutored in how to use something as tremendously powerful as 'feeling confident' then you can end up being like Clinton is here. Doesn't have to actually be drunk. Just the edges sanded off.
--- End quote ---
That's actually one reason that I don't really understand the ``liquid-confidence''-type epithets for alcohol. When drunk, I'm less confident, more reluctant to act. Maybe I'm too aware of it's potential disinhibitivity (ow, my ``i''s)
--- Quote from: Dandi Andi on 30 Oct 2020, 19:38 ---It's a problem because she's at work. Hitting on someone while they're at work can put them in a really bad position. If they feel uncomfortable or threatened, they can't leave. And they're generally being paid to be nice to you so they can't speak frankly about their feelings. He shouldn't have put her on the spot while at work.
--- End quote ---
I doubt Brun'd ever be insincere, and not all employers care about insincere pleasantries. Coffee of Doom, for example, don't.
--- Quote from: g30n on 30 Oct 2020, 13:31 ---It'll be sad if the first m/m relationship in QC is just an awkward fizzle. Such potential, such disappointment.
--- End quote ---
I know you might be emotionally invested in this one, but if it doesn't work out, I'm sure there'll be an even better one later on.
Case:
--- Quote from: Farideh on 29 Oct 2020, 23:11 ---
--- Quote from: jesslc on 29 Oct 2020, 21:55 ---[size=78%]Unrelated - is it just me or has the site & these forums been down a lot more often than usual recently[/size]
--- End quote ---
Down, how?
--- End quote ---
Down as in Cloudflare telling you its connection to the QC server is fubared.
And yes, they have.
Edit: Could be a regional thing - the message was from Cloudflare Frankfurt, which is co-located with the DE-CIX hub that connects much of continental Europe & beyond with the US. I don't recall whether DE-CIX is downstream from the respective transatlantic hub in the UK, or whether the two have separate transatlantic connections - and Iirc, the Europeans on the mod-team are in the UK & Ireland, so depending on the location of the problem, they might not even have noticed. All of the above seriously under-informed speculation, mind you.
Dandi Andi:
This is absolutely not the thread to discuss racism or whether or not white people suffer by it. It has nothing to do with the content of this week's Questionable Content.
Would a moderator PLEASE move this to discuss.
cesium133:
--- Quote from: Case on 31 Oct 2020, 01:45 ---
--- Quote from: Farideh on 29 Oct 2020, 23:11 ---
--- Quote from: jesslc on 29 Oct 2020, 21:55 ---[size=78%]Unrelated - is it just me or has the site & these forums been down a lot more often than usual recently[/size]
--- End quote ---
Down, how?
--- End quote ---
Down as in Cloudflare telling you its connection to the QC server is fubared.
And yes, they have.
Edit: Could be a regional thing - the message was from Cloudflare Frankfurt, which is co-located with the DE-CIX hub that connects much of continental Europe & beyond with the US. I don't recall whether DE-CIX is downstream from the respective transatlantic hub in the UK, or whether the two have separate transatlantic connections - and Iirc, the Europeans on the mod-team are in the UK & Ireland, so depending on the location of the problem, they might not even have noticed. All of the above seriously under-informed speculation, mind you.
--- End quote ---
I've been seeing the same thing in the U.S., so either it's multiple locations, or more likely, it's not regional.
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