Comic Discussion > QUESTIONABLE CONTENT
WCDT 4116-4120 (14th to 18th Dec, 2020)
Case:
--- Quote from: Shremedy on 17 Dec 2020, 05:08 ---<snip>
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I don't know you, despite your being on this board for so long. Until now, I had no reason to think ill of you - maybe we'd get along splendidly if we knew each other better. That being said:
I consider SitnSpin a dear personal friend and all-around Good PersonTM. Maybe you don't often read the 'Depression'-thread: She's been the best of all possible friends to so many people who found themselves in all-out war with their own minds and badly in need of a kind word. She's the kind of friend you want at your side when shit gets rough, and cherios are being pissed onto. And she'll do that for you even if she doesn't know you from Adam - just because it needs to be done, and she's someone who can.
She will never stand alone on this board.
Gyrre:
--- Quote from: Tova on 16 Dec 2020, 11:49 ---
--- Quote from: Wingy on 16 Dec 2020, 07:52 ---
--- Quote from: Mr Intrepid on 16 Dec 2020, 07:46 ---Kind of like building a house with recycled wood.
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This is done all the time. What do you think OSB is?
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You tell us.
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One of the the three main reasons you don't want a home from an American housing development from the last two decades.
The other two are the foundation not being allowed to set long enough leading to issues after around a decade, and mold issues from improperly sealed roofs and walls.
Gyrre:
--- Quote from: ihaveavoice on 16 Dec 2020, 23:32 ---
--- Quote from: Gyrre on 15 Dec 2020, 23:37 ---
--- Quote from: Dandi Andi on 15 Dec 2020, 20:50 ---
--- Quote from: Gyrre on 15 Dec 2020, 20:33 ---Her looks shouldn't. Nobody's should. But as long as simps and desperate horndogs are around....
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Can we please not use the word "simp". It has enough negative implications (such as the idea that a man would only be kind to a woman to get sex and that the particular woman in question is not attractive enough to be worth being kind to) that it feels slimy to use it.
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My apologies. I was unaware of the second half to that.
I don't believe I've ever encountered the second portion. Just the part insulting the guy being a sucker/simpleton.
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The first half shouldn't be even remotely acceptable to you, either. The idea that the only reason a man would ever treat a woman with kindness is to get in her pants is disgusting no matter how you slice it.
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Vile, yes. But I have actually met them.
They're misogynistic turds who usually still have the maturity of a 13 to 16 year-old, despite being well into their 20s, 30s, or 40s.
Case:
--- Quote from: Gyrre on 17 Dec 2020, 15:15 ---<smip>
Vile, yes. But I have actually met them.
They're misogynistic turds who usually still have the maturity of a 13 to 16 year-old.
--- End quote ---
You and pretty much any het-cis bepenised person. The problem is that as long as it's being trodden out as 'just the way men are', it's both hugely damaging to us (men) - the first people poisoned by toxic masculinity is ourselves - as well as the victims of those slimy asshats.
(click to show/hide)If you're interested: I read some research a while back how serial male predators will check out their male friends' attitudes and 'tolerance thresholds' with the kind of just-a-joke jokes that aren't really jokes for them (No guarantee the bookmark survived my latest 'oopsies' with the bookmarks folder, though). The point is to see who of them - of Us! - can be groomed so they'll be ready to defend the perdator when a survivor accuses them. 'They' really do that shit, it's really strategic and planned. And they can do that crap - turning us into accomplices, into instruments of their sick shite - right in front of our f**kin noses because ... well, we do tell each other lots of crappy jokes, don't we? Easy to hide the not-at-all-funny ones among the 'Yeah, not really for public consumption'-stuff that generations of men have known since kindergarten.
Really scared the crap out of me: I have met such guys, and even considered one of them sort of a friend. He was our clan-leader back in the CS days, and we both studied at the same Uni. One day, we had a female guest/proby-for-membership visit us on a big public Lan in Leipzig - I guess we were all a bit sheepish bcs of the sudden rush to the showers once word got round she'd come (early oughts ...).
At some point, we sat in a circle with her sitting beside my 'kinda-friend' ... and suddenly she jumps and squirms a bit (I did find it hard not to shoot the occasional glance her way, granted ...). Afterwards, she came over and told me he'd reached into her pants from behind while sitting next to her. I ... didn't know what to say. Didn't even know there were people who'd do something like that - it was so bizarre, so alien to me. We were all sitting right there, it was broad daylight, no visual cover whatsoever - and this bastard makes a calculated bet that she wouldn't make a scene, and that if she did, we'd be hesitant to believe her. Or too confused. Right in front of our goddamn blind eyes!
And he'd gotten it all worked out perfectly correct - had worked us out just fine - and had played us like the string section in his very own orchestra. We trusted this guy - and he knew, and it gave him the mother of all kicks to see what he could do right in front of us.
I gave him a lift home. At some point, he made a 'joke' out of grabbing my right knee, and pushing it down, so that the car accelerated for a second. That was the moment I understood - for this guy, other peoples' boundaries are interesting things meant to be worked out, and worked around.
I didn't work all of that out instantly - I even was a guest at his wedding. It's reallyreally hard to revise your mental model of someone once it's settled in - especially of people you like. But ... I've been around a couple of people who got me to ask myself what this mental model is really based on. How much of it is really just the equivalent of snapshots, and how much our brain fills in from it's 'standard assumptions about human behaviour'-folder. And how difficult it is to tell one from the other.
And that is why those "little things that don't really mean much, c'mon" - all the 'boys will be boys' and 'women use tears as a weapon' and all the other shit you and I and every other guy since time immemorial have heard and laughed along with, and told yourself it's OK, because you don't really believe it, you're just being polite - why that shit is actually really a lot more important that you and I and all the other dick-bearers tend to give it credit for. That it can be turned into a weapon. That it can be used to turn us into instruments against our own wills or convictions.
BlueFatima:
--- Quote from: Case on 17 Dec 2020, 15:47 ---
--- Quote from: Gyrre on 17 Dec 2020, 15:15 ---<smip>
Vile, yes. But I have actually met them.
They're misogynistic turds who usually still have the maturity of a 13 to 16 year-old.
--- End quote ---
You and pretty much any het-cis bepenised person. The problem is that as long as it's being trodden out as 'just the way men are', it's both hugely damaging to us (men) - the first people poisoned by toxic masculinity is ourselves - as well as the victims of those slimy asshats.
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That attitude hurts *everyone*—especially kids who get stuck in those kinds of stupidity when adults with those beliefs decide to become parents. It is destructive, self-destructive, and all-around ignorant. This isn’t to say a person shouldn’t embrace stereotypical gender roles if it feels good to them and makes them happy, but looking down on your partner for being the opposite sex and projecting that crap on others is sad, limiting and damaging.
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