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(Edit) Criticize my attempt at a comic please

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keyoung:
(Edit) Previously badly titled: Criticize me
(Ya'll are a bunch of literal grammer freaks!  And I love you because of it.)

My first (and last) attempt at creating something even vaguely comic related:



(Plot/text courtesy of Mr. Joseph Heller)
I have so much respect for people who churn out a comic every day, I know I could never do it.
When I did this (several years ago) I don't think I'd ever read a comic outside of those in the daily newspaper.  So my question is (to those of you folks with lots of canonical comic knowledge) what did I do wrong?  I know there must be tons of things.  The handwriting, I know, is pretty godawful.  As are those fingers in the top right corner.  And the second panel.  (Well, I seem to be doing a fairly decent job of criticizing it myself, don't I?)
Anyway, I'm just looking for some criticism from folks with more knowledge in the area than myself.
(If anyone's interested -- I used gouache and sharpie).

torg:
hmm you should change that sepia-like tone to pure white .... and yes... you perhaps should letter it on the computer. ;)

ASturge:
erm....ok......
YOU'RE SO STUPID!!!

keyoung:
torg: The sepia tone's due to my bad photography.  The original is on white illustration board.  And I think I'll try photoshoping in some new text to see how much it helps.  Thanks.

ASturge: Muh?

thehoopiestfrood:
You asked him to criticise you so he did...

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