Topic: musical terms (Read 20704 times)

musicalbacon · « **on:** 25 May 2005, 13:41 »

I'm trying to come up with a list of terms that are diagnosing what a band (typically a bad one) sounds like. Much like the medical community, whichever band has this problem first or is most famous for it gets the problem named after them. Here is my list so far:

AC/DC syndrome: all of your music sounds the same

Helmet syndrome: your music sounds generic now becoase of terrible bands copying you when you were origional

Sex Pistols syndrome: you are overated, anything you have done afterwards has been overlooked

Jello Biafra syndrome: you play three one minute songs in an hour set

Mike Patton syndrome: you have been in sixty different bands at one point in your life

Limp Bizkit syndrome: if your new cd paralleled the beatles on inavativness, no one would listen to it becoase your uncool.

Mindless Self Indulgence syndrome: you became popular the second you started sucking, and now men who wear girl pants have your worst songs on thier ipods

have fun coming up with some new ones

KharBevNor · « **Reply #1 on:** 25 May 2005, 13:56 »

KoRn syndrome: You can't get over kicking one dead lyrical theme about how unhappy your childhood was, despite being richer than sin. Bloody medical students.

A Perfect Circle Syndrome: You were assembled out of members of good bands, none of whom could then agree on what constituted a good song.

Snow Patrol Syndrome: You are dull people copying (badly) a dull band of dull people badly copying another pretty dull band of dull people who were heavily influenced by the dull music their parents listened to. In short, you are very dull.

Amsterdarn · « **Reply #2 on:** 25 May 2005, 14:27 »

Grateful Dead Syndrome: You noodle more than $10 worth of ramen.

Jimi Hendrix Syndrome: You make awesome music, do a lot of drugs, and die at age 27.

Death Cab for Cutie Syndrome: You're pretty good until your frontman becomes a mincing little nancyboy.

John Cage Syndrome: You make interesting, innovate music that is completely unlistenable.

Revenge_Therapist · « **Reply #3 on:** 25 May 2005, 15:45 »

Propagahndi Syndrome- Your band cannot tour more than three months at a strecth without a full band fistfight.
Indie Kid Syndorme- renders one with an extreme love of syncronized head bobbing.

mechorg · « **Reply #4 on:** 25 May 2005, 16:32 »

Quote from: KharBevNor

A Perfect Circle Syndrome: You were assembled out of members of good bands, none of whom could then agree on what constituted a good song.

I think Velvet Revolver and Audioslave have APC Syndrome (though i'm still giving Audioslave a shot).

Weezer Syndrome: You are only able to make good albums every other release.

I had one for ICP but I hate that band so much I'm not even going to justify naming something after them.

sp2 · « **Reply #5 on:** 25 May 2005, 16:57 »

Trent Reznor syndrome: Your vocals lack direction and often sound like a middle-school kid's diary.

La Creme · « **Reply #6 on:** 25 May 2005, 18:37 »

Slipknot Syndrome - You try to be GWAR. But you suck SO much...

Bright Eyesitis - You've got a wanker singing crappy lyrics over whiney bitch emo.

Greyboy Allstars Disease - You can't play jazz for no rabbit-ass damn.

Ozzy Syndrome - You break up with your old band (who rock ass) to go be a pansy-ass celebrity.

Offspring/Green Day/Sum 41/Blink 182 Syndrome - You play horrible horrible pop rock and call it punk.

Dr. Didg Disease - You're an instrumental genius. You waste it playing techno and being into new age religion.

Cancer of the ELP after BSS - You're lead singer's voice drops, and you stop taking drugs, and you have no more inspiration, and you just outright lose your talent after your first few Cd's.

Chuck E. Weiss / Cake / The English Beat Syndrome - You make great Cd's, you play horrid shows.

Johnny C · « **Reply #7 on:** 25 May 2005, 21:41 »

GWAR syndrome - you're awesome, NEVER STOP
Zappatitis - you have so much music that no human can ever listen to it all
Tupacrettes - your catalogue continues to grow from BEYOND THE GRAVE

Hatebunny · « **Reply #8 on:** 26 May 2005, 09:46 »

Nine Inch Nails syndrome - there's a 5 year interval between every full album, and you sound essentially the same as before after the norm has changed.

heretic · « **Reply #9 on:** 26 May 2005, 10:24 »

NOFX syndrome- you uncontrollably release every song you've ever recorded (ever hear the surfer e.p.?)

dropkick murphys disease- you sound better when drunk (though you still kick ass sober)

the modest mouse condition- you can't seem to sober for two shows consecutivly

jack johnson's disease- shoes simply wont go on your feet

mizaktik · « **Reply #10 on:** 26 May 2005, 10:27 »

Me First and the Gimme Gimme Syndrome - Pause the concert because you're too drunk to stand. Justify it with a "costume change."
Was still an AWESOME show.

Aphi · « **Reply #11 on:** 26 May 2005, 10:30 »

The Thursday effect---Disaster follows you almost as closely as your crappy Warped Tour-induced fans.

Oh, it's true. Their van got struck by lightning, an amp fell on Geoff....the list goes on.

heretic · « **Reply #12 on:** 26 May 2005, 10:30 »

god likes good music!

ASturge · « **Reply #13 on:** 26 May 2005, 10:39 »

Gwen Stefani Syndrome - You aren't very good...

muffy · « **Reply #14 on:** 26 May 2005, 10:40 »

The Bravery Effect - no matter how much people like your songs, you will be hated almost exclusively despite enormous record company input.

The Libertines Syndrome - you suck from the beginning, but with enough tabloid coverage, people will start to cite you as an influental band and pave the way for bands who are even worse than you to be viewed as half decent musicians.

ForteBass · « **Reply #15 on:** 26 May 2005, 10:42 »

Mike Doughty Syndrome - You leave a cult hit band to become a folk singer (though still a cult hit)

KISS/Cher syndrome - You retire and come back so many times no really cares anymore.

Aphi · « **Reply #16 on:** 26 May 2005, 10:44 »

Nickelback/Creed/Theory Of A DeadMan affliction---to be completely honest, you sound like an ostritch gargling oatmeal. Warbling when you sing=NOT cool.

kikanjuuneko · « **Reply #17 on:** 26 May 2005, 10:50 »

Iron Maidenemia: every city has at least one band that plays shitty covers of your songs, and at least three bands unabashedly admit they wish they were a fraction as good as you.

bucky_2300 · « **Reply #18 on:** 26 May 2005, 11:16 »

The Who Syndrome: This is our last tour ever! Really! We aren't kidding! ...Anybody?

The Rolling Stones Syndrome: You sell your last remaining shred of dignity for a few more million dollars by going on tour again, despite the fact that Mick is due for a hip replacement.

The Beatles Syndrome: Half of your band is dead.

Dead Kennedys Syndrome: You just don't get it that Jello made your band what it was, and every one of your real fans hates you now because they know you (East Bay Ray) tried to sell Holiday in Cambodia to Gap for use in an ad. You're still going, but not recording, with whatshisname...the Jello wannabe.

The Aus Rotten Syndrome: You suck. Really bad.

happybirthdaygelatin · « **Reply #19 on:** 26 May 2005, 11:54 »

Quote

Dead Kennedys Syndrome:

Oh, I thought that was the one about trying to hoard profits for a record label you run while leaving your former bandmates in a bit of a bad finiancial situation while spewing some sort of lie(s) about ethics.

heretic · « **Reply #20 on:** 26 May 2005, 12:06 »

...and i used to like them... so sad what happens in the music industry, why do i want to be part of it again?

KharBevNor · « **Reply #21 on:** 26 May 2005, 15:35 »

The Acid Bath Syndrome: You discover the secret of being the greatest band ever, then one of you dies and the rest slope off somewhere to jam and take drugs.

The Judas Priest Syndrome: You spend about 20 years working up the courage to come out the closet, then find out everybody realised back in '85.

The Meatloaf syndrome: You are the only person in the Rocky Horror picture show to become anything more than a cult success.

kikanjuuneko · « **Reply #22 on:** 26 May 2005, 21:35 »

Quote from: happybirthdaygelatin

Oh, I thought that was the one about trying to hoard profits for a record label you run while leaving your former bandmates in a bit of a bad finiancial situation while spewing some sort of lie(s) about ethics.

Please. It was clearly East Bay Ray and company that tried to fuck over Jello, not the other way around.

Kai · « **Reply #23 on:** 26 May 2005, 21:42 »

Either way, Ted was the best drummer ever. DK FOR LIEF!!!!111one

Reno · « **Reply #24 on:** 26 May 2005, 21:57 »

Fleetwood Mac Metamorphisis Syndrome - You change your band every album and every tour, keep making new songs, and refuse to play the old ones despite the fact that they are the only ones that are any good

Kai · « **Reply #25 on:** 26 May 2005, 22:17 »

King Crimson Syndrome - You Change your members twice a week.

sp2 · « **Reply #26 on:** 27 May 2005, 00:06 »

More for your perusal...

Pixies syndrome: Everyone loves your band. Except your band. You hate your bandmates with a passion.

Radiohead syndrome: You change your sound too much. Specifically, you add more and more drum machine with the idea that it makes you innovative.

They Might Be Giants Syndrome: Your music is probably directed at 8 year olds. With ADD.

Ramones syndrome: Your songs appear catchy and innovative for only about 2 minutes. You compensate for this by keeping your songs under 2 minutes.

Pink Floyd syndrome: everyone classifies you based on one or two albums from your catalogue and ignores the rest (example: most critics of Pink Floyd never heard anything off Piper at the Gates of Dawn..Piper is certainly as indie as an album can get)

Syd Barret syndrome: You were better before you thought you were an orange

zekterellium · « **Reply #27 on:** 27 May 2005, 01:39 »

linkin park syndrome: yr shitty band will not stop ripping off deftones.

blindsuperhero · « **Reply #28 on:** 27 May 2005, 05:13 »

Quote from: sp2

Radiohead syndrome: You change your sound too much. Specifically, you add more and more drum machine with the idea that it makes you innovative.

That's funny because Radiohead have never used drum machines.

a pack of wolves · « **Reply #29 on:** 27 May 2005, 06:47 »

Walter Schreifelsitis: You have been in progressively worse bands your entire life.

_grace_ · « **Reply #30 on:** 27 May 2005, 07:16 »

Vines Syndrome - who? oh THEM! where did THEY go??

Polyphonic Spree-itis - i'm sorry, HOW many people are in that? what the hell is going on? i like it though.

normz · « **Reply #31 on:** 27 May 2005, 07:21 »

Not really directed at a particular band but the disease is

THE-itis: By naming my band The ...... my band is instantly so hip it hurts (eg THE killers, THE used, THE white stripes etc) never has a definite article been so cool

_grace_ · « **Reply #32 on:** 27 May 2005, 07:25 »

i must confess! i am a victim of 'The-itis'! so many bands use that magical definite article. if i hear it, i think "oooh! must listen!!"

also e.g THE arcade fire, THE beatles, THE who, THE boomtown rats-- the list is never-ending.

Revenge_Therapist · « **Reply #33 on:** 27 May 2005, 08:43 »

David Bowie Syndrome- To stave off aging you reinvent yourself again and agian hoping somehow eventually you will wake up as a new person.
Alkaline Trio Syndrome-You are the worst of the Slapstick side projects. (Yeah I said side project, Slapstick will triumphently return to kick Less than Jake's ass for stealing their sound. Then Skanking Pickle will reunite for a glorious summer tour.)
Jeff Ottitis(Fifteen/Crimpshine)-You wriet lectures with a backbeat, but somehow still rock so hard.

happybirthdaygelatin · « **Reply #34 on:** 27 May 2005, 11:43 »

Quote from: kikanjuuneko

Please. It was clearly East Bay Ray and company that tried to fuck over Jello, not the other way around.

Meh.

Revenge_Therapist · « **Reply #35 on:** 27 May 2005, 12:49 »

You know I see both sides of the issue. One these guys got older and saw only one of them was successful. Jello. He continued to do high profile speaking engagments, continued to create music that was well recieved (including Lard with a spot on the NBK soundtrack), and he hold the entire back catalouge inclduing merchandising. As they saw it he monopolised the band. They wanted to make more money off what they saw were immortalised albums. Biafra is right he was sticking to his eithics he moved forward.
Biafra has always been an artist, not a musician. The band on the other hand had moved into other areas and in the end they have a right to cash in on a band who is a household name. They helped create it. I think however that making him pay royalties based on "possible" sales is absurd.

IronOxide · « **Reply #36 on:** 27 May 2005, 12:51 »

I Have an Opinion that Nobody Cares Abouteia: You write songs that exist to shape the minds of pre-teens. If left unattended it becomes the God, Please Shut the Hell Up Plauge.

I Listened to this Band BEFORE They Were On ...itis: Explains itself.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #37 on:** 27 May 2005, 17:00 »

Quote from: blindsuperhero

Quote from: sp2
Radiohead syndrome: You change your sound too much. Specifically, you add more and more drum machine with the idea that it makes you innovative.

That's funny because Radiohead have never used drum machines.

I don;t cuare because Radiohead are suckass scumlords who pollute the minds and souls and herarts and other important parts (except spleens as they are majorly unimportant) of people with their boring borung boring booooorrrriiinnngggg approximation of boring boring music that is boring and crao.

Johnny C · « **Reply #38 on:** 27 May 2005, 17:03 »

Khar I think it's funny that it's 6:00 where I live and you're already drunk.

blindsuperhero · « **Reply #39 on:** 27 May 2005, 17:04 »

ROCK AND ROLL!!!

Also, I vote for the appendix as the most useless organ in the body.

KharBevNor · « **Reply #40 on:** 27 May 2005, 17:09 »

if you turned into a cow, your appendix would be like WOAH MAJOR NEED FOR APPENDIX ACTION.

What with all the chlorophyllase or whatever the poo it's called.

Y'know, digests chlorohyll, the green shit, it's an enzyme, active zones and that shit.

WOO BIOLOGY IST KRIEG

negative creep · « **Reply #41 on:** 27 May 2005, 17:26 »

Quote from: sp2

Pink Floyd syndrome: everyone classifies you based on one or two albums from your catalogue and ignores the rest (example: most critics of Pink Floyd never heard anything off Piper at the Gates of Dawn..Piper is certainly as indie as an album can get)

lol ... that album is the only album by pink floyd i listen to. i never actually listened to "the wall" or "the dark side of the moon"..... not even once...
well. i really like piper at the gates of dawn.

La Creme · « **Reply #42 on:** 27 May 2005, 20:56 »

Chronic Brian Ferry Rash - You steal the spotlight, and leave your band of much better musicians than you in the dark. They start side projects and work you like a bitch. Also known as Dream Theatre Disease (Why do I love LTE so much? Why do I dislike Dream Theatre?)

Common Flu of the Cure - You just plain lost it after "Standing on the Beach".

Ringo Star Ringworms - You were the shitty member of your old band. Now they're all dead or dieing, and you're doing solo projects, and you still SUCK!

a pack of wolves · « **Reply #43 on:** 27 May 2005, 21:03 »

But Ringo was the voice of Thomas The Tank Engine. I mean, come on, what did George Harrison ever do to match that eh?

Johnny C · « **Reply #44 on:** 27 May 2005, 21:11 »

A case of the Fiery Furnaces - You can't stick to one goddamn melody, and your songs approach infinity in length.

Barenaked Ladies Syndrome - Nobody outside Canada cares about anything except "One Week." Nobody inside Canada cares about anything except "One Week" and "If I Had A Million Dollars." Your fans cry about it at night, but only to themselves. What?

Franz Ferdinandery - You had a fantastic genre-crossing hit... but nobody cares about the rest of your album despite it being one of the best albums of the year, and then you show up in a PSP commercial, making your non-PSP-loving fans die a little inside. You should be Nintendo people, dammit. What?

sp2 · « **Reply #45 on:** 27 May 2005, 21:23 »

Smashing-Pumpkins-itis: Your band was good until your frontman developed a messiah complex

Mr Putter · « **Reply #46 on:** 27 May 2005, 21:30 »

Weenarrhea - When playing a concert, you do too many drugs and start stretching out your songs to over 30 mins.

sp2 · « **Reply #47 on:** 27 May 2005, 21:56 »

I misread that as Weezerphrenia, which occurs when a band's main audience are the same folks that used to roll them for lunch money in high school.

Shaft · « **Reply #48 on:** 01 Jun 2005, 09:53 »

Quote

blindsuperhero wrote:
sp2 wrote:
Radiohead syndrome: You change your sound too much. Specifically, you add more and more drum machine with the idea that it makes you innovative.

That's funny because Radiohead have never used drum machines.

Haha. I can't really believe that they've never used programmed drums. But the quote works just as well if you replace "Drum Machines" with "Electric Drum Kit"

That made me smile, sp2.

Twinned-Aphex Complex - People who want to seem more musically-aware will refer to you, albeit being "Not too sure if they like" you because you make really weird music, when in fact you can be sure that they have only heard Windowlicker and Come To Daddy, which interestingly enough are not even that weird. And... and...and... God damn it I fucking hate wannabe namedroppers who can't even drop an obscure name almost as much as I fucking hate Aphex Twin. I'm going to lie down.

daviesmatt · « **Reply #49 on:** 03 Jun 2005, 05:50 »

Avril Lavinge Syndrome (Wannebeus popitis) - You're so punk it hurts.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: musical terms (Read 20704 times)

musicalbacon

Amsterdarn

Revenge_Therapist

mechorg

sp2

La Creme

Hatebunny

heretic

mizaktik

Aphi

heretic

ASturge

Aphi

kikanjuuneko

heretic

kikanjuuneko

Reno

sp2

zekterellium

blindsuperhero

_grace_

normz

_grace_

Revenge_Therapist

Revenge_Therapist

blindsuperhero

La Creme

sp2

Mr Putter

sp2

daviesmatt