THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: fatty on 08 Jul 2008, 21:50
-
om nom nom humans?
Add your suggestions below...
-
Only if I were stranded on an island that had no other food or up in the mountains like the dudes in Alive.
And I would cry the whole time and say "sorry" over and over.
-
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/donner.jpg)
Title text: Some people haven't heard of the Donner Party. They were pioneers who got stranded and likely resorted to cannibalism.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donner_Party
-
I second the comment about being stranded in the Andes with a bunch of soccer players.
On a culinary note, I have to imagine athletic guys are kind of lean and stringy. So if I absolutely had to cannibalize to stay alive, and had the resources to do it right, I'd marinate and grill it like a flank steak. I have no clue what the best parts to eat would be though... maybe the lumbar region?
-
I think I want to change my vote now, New Yorker Stake sounds delicious!
I swear this thread is just an excuse for fatty to post that xkcd comic.
-
Thhat is so not true, it was purely as a setup to post this.
(http://www.lisburncity.gov.uk/filestore/images/Raw-Meat-1.jpg)
(Not true either, I actually want people to participate in the poll)
-
If you eat one type of meat you should at least try the others
-
That picture made me retch a little.
Also, I'm guessing the buttocks, as the largest muscle, would probably be the best cut of people meat. You could even leave the person alive, Candide style.
-
Honestly I'm almost insanely curious about what human meat tastes like.
-
No reason not too, apart from potential genetic defects if you eat too much.
-
I was voted "Most Likely To Be The First Eaten If We Have To Resort To Cannibalism" by my friends once. It made me a bit nervous to go on long trips with them after.
Also, I'd eat human.
-
I´ll eat anything if it tastes good, and I cannot see why human meat wouldn´t taste good. All the other animals I´ve tasted so far have been good!
-
Also, Donner Party is ridiculous. Get stuck in an american suburb and kill young homosexuals and it's a terr ible crime, do it in the forest and you get a national fucking park named after you.
As for me: I would eat human flesh if I had to, but obviously it would be a last resort, and I'd be pushed pretty far before it came to that.
So, do you or don't you believe in moral relativity in life/death situations? I mean, you just said it's stupid that people stranded in a forest for months of winter who resorted to cannibalism got a park named after them for being pioneering settlers. Then admited you would eat human flesh if you had to also? Or do you just object to the fact that killing young homosexuals is a worse crime?
-
I've always had an interest in the taste of human flesh, unfortunately few people are willing to volunteer themselves t be consumed, so I'm still having to hang around in bushes waiting to ambush unsuspecting travelers.
And Donner Party, did they have an influence on Doner Kebabs? The shape of that meat is becoming even scarier...
-
I've been watching that shit on the Travel Channel, like "No Reservations" and the other one where the guy eats strange food... I can't really imagine human meat being much weirder than some of the stuff we already eat.
OK, so maybe taste isn't the issue here...
-
(http://dartreview.com/images/20050509hufu.jpg)
-
A dude I know cooked a strip of flesh from his arm and ate it because he was so curious what it tasted like.
Life and death situation? Sure, I'd eat some dude or lady. For strange strange reason though having to eat a bit of my own flesh just does not sit right with me.
-
I think I feel pretty much the same about people as I do animals. If i know the person, I probably couldn't do it, even if it were a matter of survival. I wouldn't want to eat my dog if I had one either. I'd feel like I was betraying a friend. However, if there were a stranger around and I was desparate....
-
Thomas Edison is pro-cannibalism.
-
And Donner Party, did they have an influence on Doner Kebabs? The shape of that meat is becoming even scarier...
doner kebabs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%B6ner_kebab) are a traditional Turkish dish. So definitely no.
-
I wish one of the smilies was a robot. I would have used it right now.
-
(http://www.robopocalypse.com/RAD/2006_06_20.jpg)
-
Honestly, I think I'd rather die than eat someone, but then I'd probably be the first to go anyway, so me not wanting to eat others wouldn't matter in the long haul while they roast me on a spit and consume of my flesh. It's got me thinking though, I'd be pretty tasty. Tender and juicy, plenty of me to go around, this is disturbing.
-
I'd have to be picky about what human flesh I'd eat. I don't want some exercise freak, that meat would be too tough, but I also wouldn't want that 1,000 lb dude who would die of a heart failure. Someone with decent amount of fat would be allright, just enough to get a good sizzle going without the steak being all greasy.
Alternately, I'd totally eat a baby. I imagine it to taste like the most succulent veal.
If you'd only eat the flesh of a particular ethnic group, would that make you racist?
-
Man, I JUST talked about this last night with my friends.
I probably wouldn't. I mean, I might want to, but I wouldn't be able to stomach it because HE IS PEOPLE.
Also, to you wannabe cannibals out there, roast the human whole and eat the eyeballs. They absorb tons of flavor, much like when you roast other animals whole.
-
doner kebabs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%B6ner_kebab) are a traditional Turkish dish. So definitely no.
For a while, the doner kebab article was trying to annex the gyros article and merge it into itself. I just loved that Greek-Turkish animosity had worked it's way onto wikipedia in a more subtle way.
I like how doner kebab and gyros say doner kebabs were first, shwarma makes no mention of who was first, and tacos al pastor think it was doner kebab first but aren't quite sure.
-
I'VE (http://youtube.com/watch?v=7J5jbc2ZmBE) HAD ONE DESIRE SINCE I WAS BORN
TO SEE MY BODY RIPPED AND TORN
TO SEE MY FLESH DEVOURED BEFORE MY EYES
ONLY FOR YOU, I VOLUNTEER AS A HUMAN SACRIFICE
CARVE ME UP, SLICE ME APART
SUCK MY GUTS AND LICK MY HEART
CHOP ME UP, I LONG TO BE HURT
DRINK MY MARROW AND BLOOD FOR DESSERT
EATEN
MY ONE DESIRE MY ONLY WISH IS TO BE
EATEN
THE LONGER I LIVE THE MORE I'M DYING TO FEEL THE PAIN
EATEN
I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO BE
EATEN
MY ONE DESIRE MY ONLY WISH IS TO BE
EATEN
I FINALLY FOUND YOU, MY PERSONAL SLAUGHTER
AS AN APPETIZER, I LET YOU TASTE MY DAUGHTER
CALL ME SICK BUT THIS IS WHAT I NEED
MY ONLY PURPOSE IS FOR YOU TO FEED
-
For a while, the doner kebab article was trying to annex the gyros article and merge it into itself. I just loved that Greek-Turkish animosity had worked it's way onto wikipedia in a more subtle way.
awesome, now I need to look through the edit history of the page to see this for myself!
-
Honey it's getting close to midnight
And all the myths are still in town
True love and lipstick on your linen
Bite the pillow make no sound
If there's some living to be done (HA)
Before your life becomes your tomb
You'd better know that I'm the one
So unchain your back door invite me around
Bring your daughter, bring your daughter to the slaughter
Let her go, let her go, let her go
-
Oh wait, that's about anal.
-
since when did fleshdonor.org get shut down? that sucks.
and in case you don't know, basically they wanted to create a government program similar to the organ donor program so you could be butchered for human consumption upon your death, if you chose. it was a really great idea that i fully supported, and even wrote a paper about it in highschool.
obviously, you would be tested first to make sure you were disease-free etc.
think of how much good such a program could potentially cause. there would be more meat available to the public and at cheaper cost, and if the program gained a decent amount of popularity and success then i don't doubt that many acres of land currently used for cow pastures would be freed up for other purposes such as low-cost housing, or a public park, or hell even a wind-energy farm or solar panel array. it could even be used to grow fruits or vegetables, increasing the country's overall food output.
Remember: Don't eat the brain! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creutzfeldt-Jakob_disease#Transmission)
-
I don't think I'd eat human flesh even if I were starving. Ugh. I mean, people get cranky about what farmers feed animals that get eaten, why the heck would I want to eat a person that eats god knows what. Just whatever happens, I hope nothing happens like in Haunted (http://contemporarylit.about.com/od/mysteryreviews/fr/haunted.htm), where one of the chicks accidentally eats part of her own flesh before she realizes that she's got chunks missing from her legs/ass and bleeds to death.
-
doner kebabs (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%B6ner_kebab) are a traditional Turkish dish. So definitely no.
For a while, the doner kebab article was trying to annex the gyros article and merge it into itself. I just loved that Greek-Turkish animosity had worked it's way onto wikipedia in a more subtle way.
I like how doner kebab and gyros say doner kebabs were first, shwarma makes no mention of who was first, and tacos al pastor think it was doner kebab first but aren't quite sure.
the only time i've eaten shwarma, weirdly, is in holland. i guess it's really popular there. they offered up a garlic white sauce as a side, do they do the same for all shwarma shops? (also, never eat that before you go out drinking..the throwup is not pleasant)
As for eating humans, i honestly dont know if i could "stomach" it. i might just get too sick and stop/hurl. in a life and death situation, i'd probably try to kill myself as peacefully as possible.
-
if you're body is lacking certain essential vitamins or minerals you're brain will trick you into thinking that food containing those things tastes really delicious and you'll basically be helpless to resist.
same thing goes for if you're starving to death. you're brain will make you care less and less about taste or your own ideals until you have no control.
-
Remember: Don't eat the brain! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creutzfeldt-Jakob_disease#Transmission)
Human equivalent of mad cow! But you have to eat quite a bit of brain before you'll develop it.
-
I would eat another person... Granted, when I first tried it, I would have to not know what it was. But if someone just handed me a slice that looked rather innocuous, I would try it. If it were good, I would of course have to ask what it was...
-
No mention of John Swift or Cannibal the musical?
-
goddamn you people are freaks.
if the program gained a decent amount of popularity and success then i don't doubt that many acres of land currently used for cow pastures would be freed up for other purposes such as low-cost housing, or a public park, or hell even a wind-energy farm or solar panel array. it could even be used to grow fruits or vegetables, increasing the country's overall food output.
another solution would be to just eat less meat.
-
first of all, that will never happen. (neither will my plan either, of course)
second of all, i disagree with the way we handle dead bodies on a fundamental level in the first place, so this kills two birds with one stone, so to speak. think of how much space is taken up in the U.S. alone by cemetaries and graveyards. to me, it seems like an awful waste of space. space that could be used for any number of much more useful things.
legal, controlled, cannibalism could have many positive effects in many different ways that aren't always readily apparent. i'm sure there's plenty that i can't even think of. and of course, there's probably an equal amount of negative effects i haven't thought of either but that's the job of those opposed to it, not me.
-
Soylent Green (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soylent_Green)
-
first of all, that will never happen.
Unless you eat less meat. Then it is happening. Try not to think of yourself as completely insignificant because you actually do have a huge effect on the world.
-
I have a fetish for cannibalism, but I'm not sure I'd actually do it, except in a survival situation, and then probably only if the person I was eating had died of something else first, or if I didn't like them.
Also, that fleshdonor thing totally sounds like something a cannibal fetishist might have thought up.
-
first of all, that will never happen.
Unless you eat less meat. Then it is happening. Try not to think of yourself as completely insignificant because you actually do have a huge effect on the world.
i didn't realize she was directing that specifically at me. i guess i read it wrong and thought she meant everyone.
of course i could eat less meat but i don't want to because i don't eat very much meat to begin with.
besides the whole point of the plan is make the world a better place without having to personally do a thing. it's the American Dream.
-
Also.
Bound and gagged in a black pot
Seared and flavoured with herbs and salt
Marinated slowly in a secret sauce
Roasted and served as sumptuous course
They dribble and drool as I try and get loose
Stewing slowly in my own juice
Rubbing their tummies and licking their lips
Devoured me up and served with chips
By the time they're done there'll be no one left around
Just a special bus full of mutants geeks and downs
We'll be beaten tender so we taste real nice
When we're sliced and diced and served with rice
By the hobblin, wobbling, stammering spacks
And the inbred freaks with misshapen backs
Demented 'tards with missing teeth
Cutting me up and chewing on my meat
Masticated by the spasticated
Put me in a pot, put me in the pain
Boil up my bones, fry my glands
Take away my heart, put it in the coals
Slice me up fine, serve me in bowls
Checks my eyes for signs of life
Masticated by the spasticated
I black out as he sharpens his knife
Masticated by the spasticated
By the time they're done there'll be no one left around
Masticated by the spasticated
Just a special bus full of mutants geeks and downs
Masticated by the spasticated
We'll be beaten tender so we taste real nice
Masticated by the spasticated
When we're sliced and diced and served with rice
Masticated by the spasticated
-
think of how much space is taken up in the U.S. alone by cemetaries and graveyards. to me, it seems like an awful waste of space. space that could be used for any number of much more useful things.
Anyone who thinks the US has a shortage of space has obviously never taken a long road trip.
-
man, as soon as i saw that joe had replied to this thread i knew you were gonna come in here and get all old and wise on my ass. lucky for me, i have a counter-point.
firstly, i never said we had a shortage of space. i just think burying bodies is a waste of space.
secondly, alot of that empty space is desert and is practically unusable.
ooh you know what i just thought of? why don't we just use that desert space for burying people and put current cemetary land to better use. everybody wins. the people that don't want to get eaten can still be buried (and be preserved much better by the dry climate anyway) and we have more land in urban areas for other things....like malt shops.
-
as soon as i saw that joe had replied to this thread i knew you were gonna come in here and get all old and wise on my ass.
Have you been drinking?
BONUS: alternative lines I considered before settling on that one -
Did you hit your head today?
Are you on the drugs?
I think you have me confused with Yoda.
-
i should have been more specific:
when i said "wise" i should have said "much smarter than me"
-
Also, I didn't think that much of the US was desert. I would think there'd be more plain, mountain, and forest region.
But yes, being buried is a waste of space, a waste of money, and actually quite silly. I mean, they want to prevent you from turning into compost. How silly! I will not partake in that nonsense! Plus, embalmed people give me the jibblies. No, I won't go to your funeral.
-
i would prefer to donate my body to medicine & research than be eaten. i feel like that would be much more useful. americans could stand to eat a few less hamburgers, anyways.
-
That'd have been a lot funnier if you were from Hamburg.
-
Do I know said person I would be eating? I'd never eat someone I know (knew?). Not even for survival.
-
Did you know, despite having made that poll, I haven't made a definite decision about what I would do in this sort of life/death situation, since I've never been in one, and probably will never be. I mean comeon, why would I be wandering around in a desert without a mobile phone. How am I meant to know what I would, I'll just figure that out when I come to that bridge. All in all, I don't think I am much disadvantaged for not having a plan.
But yeah, never ever, I'm not interested. In fact I'm particularly grossed out.
-
why would I be wandering around in a desert without a mobile phone
Not that this really affects your point any, but note that cell phones need to be within range of cell towers to work. Don't want people thinking their mobile phone will keep them connected to civilization when they're going on a journey into some vast wilderness/the middle of nowhere.
-
(http://star.walagata.com/w/fortebass/Skadi_beginning_final.jpg)
-
That comic sums up my life aim. To eat one of every animal there is.
-
firstly, i never said we had a shortage of space. i just think burying bodies is a waste of space.
secondly, alot of that empty space is desert and is practically unusable.
ooh you know what i just thought of? why don't we just use that desert space for burying people and put current cemetary land to better use. everybody wins. the people that don't want to get eaten can still be buried (and be preserved much better by the dry climate anyway) and we have more land in urban areas for other things....like malt shops.
Honestly, I would rather have a graveyard than more urban development. The last thing we need is more condos and walmarts and malls. At least graveyards have grass and are kind of peaceful and quiet and make for great places to have picnics in.
-
i agree. except the graveyard part. i think we should use that space for somethign that's actually good for that particular community.
it doesn't even have to be real "development," it could be as simple as replacing the tombstones with playground equipment or gardens or something. it would depend on that particular areas needs, i guess.
-
i would probably eat someone if it meant the difference between life and death, including people i know, but only if they were already dead in advance. i'd expect the same from anyone else so i think that's pretty fair. to be honest if i were dead and someone else with me also died because they had the option to eat me but chose not to, and somehow i were able to make judgments of other people even though i'd be dead, i'd be a little disappointed in them.
-
Where are Skadi's snowshoes?
-
I always say "It's not Baby Back Ribs, unless you use Real Baby Backs."
Mmmmm... Barbeque.
-
Aww man now I'm totally hungry for barbecue. Something from some hole-in-tha-wall dive where the menu is written in crayon and the dude in the back doesn't "believe" in cleaning the "flavor" off the grill. Some where you have like three drink choices: water, sweet tea, and some horrible horse-piss beer.
-
That comic sums up my life aim. To eat one of every animal there is.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_delicious_species_discovered (http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_delicious_species_discovered)
-
Do gym teachers count as human? If they do I´m all for cannibalism.
-
Yes, I would eat people. The whole preparing the meat thing would be a bit awkward, so I probably wouldn't do that...But I would eat it.
-
lady fingers they taste like lady fingers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivor_Type)
-
It's not like cannibalism is unprecedented in species, so it's scientifically justifiable. Morally, Ethically, on the other hand...it's a harder quandary. If you are stuck in a place where the only solution is to eat another human, or just to lob off a piece of flesh without killing them, why should it be the other person? Why shouldn't it be you who is sacrificed for the lives of others? What makes your life more worthy than the other person, whom you would have to harm or kill to eat?
That being said, I'd eat a strip of flesh or muscle if it was the last thing available and was offered to me. I couldn't actively kill another person to eat them, though.
-
i saw four slugs all eating another slug the other day. it was a little disturbing because it seemed like he might have still been alive while they were tearing him apart. not to mention that within a small radius of the carnage there were more slugs who were obviously on their way to the feast as fast as they could.
anyway, it was really weird and i didn't know slugs did that.
-
why would I be wandering around in a desert without a mobile phone
Oh and this comment of your brings up another point I forgot to mention before. I realize the point of this thread is to assume some hypothetical situation where eating another person is your only option in order to ask a question about morality, but I do want to make sure people grasp just how unlikely such a situation is. Stranded in a desert isn't one such situation. I mean, even if you were stranded on a desert island or something, you are going to die of thirst long before you die of starvation.
Meanwhile, real-life stories like the Donner Party do point out the one emergency scenario where you'd be trapped with no food but abundant fresh water: a blizzard.
-
I dunno, we were talking about this on the gabbly when it was being made, and the intent was not (at least i remember so), not to be in hypothetical situations where it was your only option, but a wide range of hypothetical situations where you had many options. My personal opinion is that in a hypothetical situation where consumption of human steaks was either legal, or where avoiding the consequences of illegally eating someone else would be easier, i'd defintely be inteested.
-
Well then you're just a goddamned freak, ain'tcha?
-
In my view all meat is the same, unless artificially grown.
-
Yeah emilio is kind of right. I probably should have been clearer. My idea was, under what kind of situations would you eat human meat. Would you say no on principle, are you curious, if it was legal or morally acceptable etc.
-
I would sooner eat a kitten sized portion of human than a kitten. The logic behind this is that the world needs less people and more kittens.
-
I bet kittens are all tender and delicious.
-
Actually, the world needs both fewer people and fewer kittens. (http://search.conduit.com/Results.aspx?q=cat+overpopulation&ctid=CT309158&octid=CT309158)
Doesn't mean I'd eat either, however.
-
mr. hocking, aren't you from asialand? you probably already have eaten a cat. i know i probably have...
-
How can the world need fewer kittens you cold bastard
-
Nice avatar. There is a bigger, higher quality version of the photo I posted if you want it.
-
Cat =/= Kitten Mr. Hocking.
The answer is soylent brown.
-
mr. hocking, aren't you from asialand? you probably already have eaten a cat. i know i probably have...
While cats are a possibility, dogs are a definite. As in, I have definitely eaten dog. I didn't know it though; I wouldn't choose to.
Cat =/= Kitten Mr. Hocking.
The answer is soylent brown.
What is soylent brown? Unless soylent brown is cats, your equation doesn't work out.
-
At this point I would like to state that I officially prefer beef bacon to pig bacon. It tastes much better.
-
On that note turkey bacon is a sad, sad parody of bacon. Turkey bacon wishes they could get a good enough crackle to be considered bacon. If you've got turkey bacon that fries nicely, chances are they put a little pig fat in it.
Tofu anything is masochism in its purest form. I'd prefer to eat a live kitten than try a tofurkey again.
-
That picture made me retch a little.
Also, I'm guessing the buttocks, as the largest muscle, would probably be the best cut of people meat. You could even leave the person alive, Candide style.
Albert Fish agrees with you. He said it was the most delicious part of the human body. The human ass, especially from a young child.
-
Would anyone change their answer if the human meat was vat grown, rather than from an actual person?
-
Would be less inclined to eat it.
-
Agreed.
Vats are just freaky.
-
Nothing artificial please. There is nothing in this world I'd rather see when I walk into McDonalds other than someone slipping a big juicy peice of man meat man betwixt something soft and light brown.
-
was that supposed to be an interractial gay joke I can't tell
-
oh, shit...
-
think of how much space is taken up in the U.S. alone by cemetaries and graveyards. to me, it seems like an awful waste of space. space that could be used for any number of much more useful things.
Anyone who thinks the US has a shortage of space has obviously never taken a long road trip.
So, you think that we should level all of the beautiful countryside to build.. whatever minimalls or something
-
I don't think he meant the beautiful countryside. probably meant the red states.