THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Fun Stuff => CHATTER => Topic started by: mietteissass on 20 Jan 2009, 20:43
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We played this game one night when we were drinking and it got pretty funny. So what happens is I will ask a question. The next person to post will Answer that question. The person who goes after that will ask another question that could have that same answer. The person after that will answer differently from the first answer. I am sure you are all brilliant and followed that.
My question:
What are a midgets favorite smells?
(If you are in fact a midget, I am not being mean. It's just a game)
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probably clean genitals (of the average height people around them)
Q: what do most urologists pray for?
(sorry for the mess up)
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dude you are already doing it wrong!
ADDITION: guys she wasn't just describing "answer a question, ask a different one." I find the rules she described rather interesting, can we try it her way?
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Alright, this is a rad game but clearly people are having trouble with rules here.
Example flow of game.
mietteissass:
Q: What are a midgets favorite smells?
nobo:
A: probably clean genitals
New Q: What is the tastiest part of the human body?
Ozy:
A: Brains.
Q: What do the people who posted above lack?
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A: Reading comprehension skills.
Q: What won't you learn from a stripper?
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A: Modesty
Q: What porn stars mistake for a perfume name?
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A. Scent of a Woman
Q. What is your favorite unintentional comedic portrayal of a disabled person?
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A: The dude in a wheelchair from Extreme Ghostbusters.
Q: Who is the man who haunts your nightmares?
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A: Joseph Hocking.
Q: Who is the creepiest board member out there?
(Okay so APPARENTLY I was doing it wrong. Whatever.)
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Hmmmm so you have done this Joseph Hocking person?
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Well she crashed on my couch once, but there was no sweet sweet love-making involved.
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Hey hey hey I fixed the mistake. So shush.
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A: Joseph Hocking.
Q: Who is the creepiest board member out there?
(Okay so APPARENTLY I was doing it wrong. Whatever.)
Patrick. Those damned classes scare the @#$% out of me.
How you shoot web?
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A. Just close your eyes and give it a shot
Q. How is babby formed?
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A: You put your dick in and thrust.
Q: How can you make a man seem gay?
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A: When you lead him on for two years, with flirting and subtle eye-batting and occasional makeouts, all the while knowing that you're never going to sleep with him, you're never going to be his girlfriend even though you know that's what he wants more than anything in the world because he thinks you're the raddest most awesomeist girl ever out there, he thinks you're cute, you're smart, you're funny, you're sweet and kind and nice, you're an awesome actress and pretty much you're the neatest chick he's ever met, but for whatever reason you won't do anything but lead him on for two years and no, he's not bitter about it at all, he's completely fine with it and DEAR GOD WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME, I AM SO FUCKED UP BECAUSE OF YOU.
Q: The zombie apocalypse occurs. What is your plan?
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A: Hole up somewhere far from urban population centers.
Q: What do you do when you want to write an excellent acoustic album about some girl who dumped you?
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A: Slit your wrists, because the world does not need to hear your shit.
Q: What did your mother tell you when you called her from college to complain about homesickness?
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A: Stop being such a little baby
Q: What do bad babysitters yell at the kids they're looking after when they won't eat?
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"Look, I don't get paid if you don't eat, and that means no more happy juice. For me."
Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring?
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How does the question "Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring?" comes up with the answer "Look, I don't get paid if you don't eat, and that means no more happy juice. For me."?
I am confused; maybe you don't quite understand what the game is?
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Q/A: Hello?
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Guys, this thread was pretty interesting. Lets not fuck it up, ok?
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How does the question "Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring?" comes up with the answer "Look, I don't get paid if you don't eat, and that means no more happy juice. For me."?
I am confused; maybe you don't quite understand what the game is?
... well damn
read the rules wrong. Hurt me.
A: "Look, I don't get paid if you don't eat, and that means no more happy juice. For me."?
Q: What did the witch say to Hansel and Gretel?
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Of course you can come in and use my phone small children who I may fatten up and eat. The phone is also made of licorice so if you have sars you can eat it as some treatment maybe.
What a cannibal Austrian doctor living in china may say if they had a phone made of licorice.
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"Here, you should try this, it'll make your fluids taste better."
Q: What does your girlfriend tell you about watermelon?
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A: That's not really something that's appropriate to be constantly offering to the president.
Q: What does a text adventure game tell you when you try to 'use dildo'?
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A: STAM -50
Q: What's so bad about a guy's first time?
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Bad aim.
Why's The Hulk still single?
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Pringles can between his legs
Where do you put snacks during a movie?
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Between the tits of a female companion.
Where is a place you would not like to find something sticky?
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I wouldn't want to find anything sticky in a woman's Vagoo.
Y'know why you shouldn't have sex first thing in the morning?
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Because the first thing you do in the morning should be opening your eyes and if you have sex before that you could well (I'll try to word this SFW) miss the putt.
What is so wrong about company ink?
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Too many people have dipped their "pens" in it.
Q: A obvious sex comment about an easy woman?
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She's the village bike, everyone has had a ride.
Q: What do people say about your mother behind her back?
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Haha, I was going to post:
"The village bicycle"
What's something that people in very poor rural areas can probably be trusted to keep safe?
BUT INSTEAD I will post:
"She talks too much!"
How do you know when your girlfriend wants to be listened to?
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She has her clothes on.
What is something disappointing that happened recently?
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The post above me.
What's something you've had a strong response to recently?
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That bastard in the cash machine (ATM) queue who had to press every button and take about 20 mins to get out of the way when you were already late for meeting up with friends.
Who would you most like to make disappear?
EDIT: Fine, bastard is now visible. I didn't know what people felt about profanities, so shoot me.
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People who feel the need to censor themselves especially when their profanities are inane.
You find yourself in a barren landscape habited by sentient, melting, analog clocks, what do you do?
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A: Search for traps.
Q: Hello. My name is Jigsaw, would you like to play a game?
(I am not very good at this game.)
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A: OK, let me just pull down my pants.
Q: What do you say if you want to get a restraining order from a pre-school?
(I think I'm being far too profane.)
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So, have any of these kids started bleeding yet?
What would a doctor ask in a room full of ill children?
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A: Is there a real doctor here?
Q: What does your doctor say when you go to a third rate gynecologist center?
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"Now close your eyes and open wide." (I could have done better with that).
What did the horny Dentist in 'Novocaine' say?
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A: I am also in the best film of all time, Leap of Faith!
Q: What did Steve Martin, Debra Winger, Liam Neeson, Meat Loaf, and Philip Seymour Hoffman all exclaim at the same time when they ran into each other at the bar?
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A: Why isn't Lolita Davidovich and Dick Pearce here yet?
Q: Something you could hear on the set of a porno?
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A: This will look better with a black guy.
Q: What was the evaluation of the Democratic campaign two years ago?
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At least we aren't going to pick John McCain
What was most of America was thinking in November '08?
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Terrorism, economy, maverick, a black man?
What was Sarah Palin chanting to herself before her interviews?
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Q: Who is the creepiest board member out there?
Patrick. Those damned classes scare the @#$% out of me.
:(
A. Drill, baby, drill!
Q. What's the last thing you want to hear a bunch of people shout simultaneously to a person in your bedroom?
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A: Don't go in there, it has been cleaned in a week!
Q: What does one yell when someone is going through their kitchen?
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MAKE ME A SAMMICH PLEASE
What you say to the immigrant at subway.
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A: An Italian BMT with Jalapenos please... A bottle of tequila...
Q: What do you say to the guy who just ran over your dog?
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A. No hard feelings. The bitch had it coming.
Q. What is something you might overhear at an Olsen twin funeral?
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A. One down, one to go
Q. What did your mother say after giving birth to you?
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A: Well, isn't that special
Q: What do you say when a small child shows you a pretty bad drawing?
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A: Oh, that looks good enough to frame in the Louvre!
Q: What is something you don't want to hear when showing your junk to your doctor?
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A: lol
Q: What was your first reaction when you see someone being punched by a clown?
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A: AAAAAAAAAAH CLOWNS!!!!!!!!!!1!!11!
Q: What do you get when you cross a Volkswagen with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir?
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Something that you don't want, and that's hard to kill.
Worst person to marry?
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Flipper. Smells like fish and if you keep him in the dry for long enough he gets all wrinkled up and ugly.
Aw, that's so cute, what do you call it?
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Your mother
What object, other than the moon, orbits the earth?
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Very small rocks.
What also floats in water?
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Crap of meat eaters.
What comes out a t-rex's pooper? :-D
(This thread's second page has made me laugh, ALOT)
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A. Three Horns and Long Necks
Q. What were the lamest things about The Land Before Time?
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A: Dinosaurs... everyone knows that God made that shit up to mess with us...
Q: Why would God make that shit up?
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A. Because it's fuckin' funny.
Q. Why do I always laugh when people die really painful deaths in movies?
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A: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude
Q: What is the best word I've learned in the past year?
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A. Groak - to stare silently or longingly at a person eating, hoping you will be asked to join them.
Q. What is the worst question someone could ask you on the subway?
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A. Don't you hate when people answer your question with another question?
Q. How do serial killers answer detectives?
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A: Saltpetre
Q: Jesus, what would you like on your last supper?
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A: Dinosaurs... everyone knows that God made that shit up to mess with us...
Q: Why would God make that shit up?
Yeah, why would he? That's so dumb. Everyone knows it was the Reptillians (http://www.truthism.com).
A: "I'm good, just let the cup pass over me. Please."
Q: Anyone ever saw that really racy Guinness ad?
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I done sawed it and it was reeeeeeeeeal good
When you mix Larry the Cable Guy with an amputation surgeon, what is the first thing out of his mouth?
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A: Projectile vomit
Q: What's the best way to defend yourself against hordes of raving Scotsmen?
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Tan a bottle of bucky and join in
What should you do if you see a mugging in Inverness?
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A: ask yourself "Why the fuck am I in Inverness?"
Q: Who put the "bop" in the "bop-shoo-bop-shoo-bop"
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A: Someone who needs to be tortured
Q: What do you get when you mix a clown and a priest?
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A: An abomination unto God's green earth
Q: What did your mom call you when you broke her good china?
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You horrible little shit!
What does you mother always say to you, the one that lacks real substance?
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Making comparisons to clotted cream
What's a fun game to play on a rainy day?
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Drunken Twister
What lead to you losing your virginity?
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A girl with a mohawk.
What is the best thing?
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sex
what havn't I had in a long time?
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Friends.
Who's sibling's female friends are very hot?
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OMG JONAS BROTHERS
What is something you're likely to hear any 13-year-old girl say at any given time?
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OMG JONAS BROTHERS
What is something you're likely to hear any 13-year-old girl say at any given time?
today I am a woman!
what do women really not want their boyfriends to say
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Wait, this is not an open relationship?
What did the white woman say to her white husband when she gave birth to a black baby?
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OMG JONAS BROTHERS
What is something you're likely to hear any 13-year-old girl say at any given time?
Aww come on forums, I expected "Idk, my bff Jill?"
A: "So I heard you like Mudkips?" [I am so racist]
Q: Which meme is so sad and needs to die?
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WRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
What's the best thing to shout in the middle of a funeral?
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He fucking owed me five bucks!
What is most common cause for divorce?
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A homewrecker!
What do all the suburban housewives call your mother?
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Our Almighty Master, Ruler of All Life and Taker of Souls
Who is Questionable Content really drawn by?
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Edward Penishands
Best film ever?
(I am having too much fun with this thread, I may have to leave for a while)
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Plan 9 From Outer Space
You have been informed that "there is no way out of here", how do you proceed for the evening?
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Call up your pal MC Escher and hope he knows what to do.
You need a rapper to perform. Who do you call?
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Vanilla Ice obviously
What do you do with a drunken sailor?
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Put him in charge of an Exxon tanker.
The 43rd President's next job?
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Worm food
What do you feed worms?
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Johnny's New Worm Dietry Supplement! All the nutrients with no calories, for that healthy, healthy worm!
What's the worst product ever advertised?
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ISmell
What was the exact moment the dot com boom jumped the shark?
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right after fonzi did
when did Henry Winkler's career die?
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The day before yesterday
When will the world end?
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The day after tomorrow.
Who raped my childhood?
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The day after tomorrow.
Who raped my childhood?
The Vatican
Where does the pope keep all his hats?
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In the trunk of the Popemobile.
Where is the last place anyone would think to look for a body?
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In the trunk of the Popemobile.
Whereabouts in England do the lizard people live?
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In the undergarments of her majesty the queen
Where is the last place you would want to be?
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A: Under the sheets with Prince Charles.
Q: Where is the gerbils that William and Harry lost?
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The microwave
What is the last thing you need on a desert island
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An air conditioner.
What's the most annoying object in the house to deal with when you're not using it?
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A: the hooker tied up in my closet
Q: what is that smell?
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Oh @#$% It's BURNING!!!
Easiest way to get off the phone by yelling?
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Yelling REALLY LOUD, I guess.
What is a good way to spice up your sex life?
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I put on a robe and wizard hat.
Opinion on long gray beards?
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"Are you a hermit, or just Canadian"
What do you say when you want to end a speed date?
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Oh I think my breast just popped.
What Pam Anderson said while running for the opening of Baywatch?
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Who needs floatation devices with me?
Famous last words?
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Who needs floatation devices with me?
Famous last words?
Betcha 10 bucks i can make that jump!
with what words did Evil Kenivel's career start?
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"sign here please"
Things you won't hear at a shotgun wedding
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Brian Blessed
What is the source of the next big bang.
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An immovable object coming into contact with an unstoppable force.
Describe lennox lewis punching your mum
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An immovable object coming into contact with an unstoppable force.
Describe lennox lewis punching your mum
the sudden disappearing of a fist.
what tends to ruin a good porno?
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A: Chafing
Q: What is lotion a good preventative for?
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A: Psycho's hitting you with the hose
Q: Why should you never bad mouth a chef?
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A: two words: Shit Sandwich
Q: What did you think of the last X-Men movie?
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Crap, but as far as crap goes it could have been much worse
What's the weirdest thing you've read on a doctor's report?
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"Fucked into a coma"
What is the most bragworthy way to enter a vegetative state?
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"I passed out for three days from blood loss after that fight. But you should've seen the bear!"
Best thing that could possibly be said in Idaho, ever?
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Bye guys, I'm moving next week
What you DON'T tell your kids when you divorce your partner.
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"Too bad he's not your real father."
What did the clumsy hitman who missed say?
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(@bushbr: Could you stop quoting the post immediately before you? That's kind of annoying.)
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'To be fair, that guy was an asshole as well.'
What is the least likely thing to hear in a multiple murder trial?
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Meh, because i was bored i guess.
What do i say when people ask me why i shaved my head?
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I was shaving my balls and thought I might as well kill 2 birds with one stone
What would you say in a court hearing over indecent exposure
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A: I didn't think there was anyone around.
Q: What you said to your grandma when she caught you jerking it?
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HOLY FUCK! A ZOMBIE!
Commonly heard phrase in umbrella corp HQ.
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A: she bit me!
Q: The reason I stopped hiring that hooker down the street?
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The Herp.
Funniest STD?
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Sonic Gonnohrea
Leading cause of death in pornstars?
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A: Lack of lubrication
Q: What deteriates most car engines?
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The sugar I put in her
Why my diabetic friend hates me
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I sawed her right foot off, too
How I did save my friend from a beartrap?
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By letting another friend step in it first.
How do you put out a bag of flaming poo?
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A: With more poo
Q: how do you like your taco bell dumps?
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I don't.
The smartest thing to say after being read marriage vows
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What have I gotten myself into?
One of those phrases you say, just a little too late?
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Be more gentle with the teeth!
Something to ask your dentist for?
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Serious, Risky and Heroic
What are Snap, Crackle and Pops DJ names?
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Russel, Howard and Theft.
What do you get up to on a Friday night?
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A: bloody stool
Q: what is part of every episode of House MD?
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Cripple Jokes
What's Stephen Hawking's famous party piece?
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Beatboxing
What can no white people do
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Jump
What can't cripples do?
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A: Truly overcome the stifling bias and unflinchingly endure the stares and pity of loved ones and strangers alike.
Q: What is the first item on my to do list?
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Stab an infant
What's the best way to relieve stress?
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Furious masturbation
Things to do at a public library besides reading?
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Target practice
Why am I surrounded by bodies?
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The infamous harem mass-suicide
Am I that ugly?
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I don't know
Will Henry Rollins knock fuck out of Marilyn Manson in the interview I am about to watch?
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I hope he would rise above to the occasion.
How optimistic are you about reuniting with your estranged father?
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I saw him two weeks ago, so it's cool.
gloves or mittens?
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Goddamn, 4 pages and some people still don't get the rules. Your ANSWER to the last persons QUESTION must also be a suitable ANSWER for YOUR QUESTION.
If someone asks you "Gloves or mittens?" you would not answer "I saw him two weeks ago, so it's cool" because IT MAKES NO SENSE.
Do it again, and do it right this time.
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Bah, like I give a shit. Just pass over me.
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I hope he would rise above to the occasion.
How optimistic are you about reuniting with your estranged father?
Not very
And how big is YOUR dick?
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It's tucked into my sock
Where has my dignity gone?
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A: Where the sun don't shine
Q: How do people describe Seattle?
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The arse end of nowhere
Where do you currently live?
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In the actual arse end of nowhere.
What is red and black all over?
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A really terrible joke about penguins
What should An Incoveniant Truth should really have started with?
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3 hours of nothing.
What is it like to interview Paris Hilton?
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"Oh, and this one time, while this dude was totally going down on me I was freebasing cocaine and eating caviar at the same time..."
What's the last thing you hear before clawing yourself to death?
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I'm pregnant and it's yours.
Why would anyone ever convince a girl to fall down stairs?
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A really terrible joke about penguins
(WRONG, there is only one real answer to this.)
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America's Funniest Home Videos
What disproves the evolutionists theory that the world's average IQ is growing
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Intelligent Design
Rather than a $multi-billion corporate welfare package, what would better contribute to renewed success of the American auto industry?
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Nuke it from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Solution for places like Phenix City, Alabama?
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Drown 'em
Easiest way to an abortion?
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gin and a bath tub
whats a girl I know's perfect night in?
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Going against everything she's been taught as a catholic girl for the past 12 years.
What is a side effect of dating me?
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Copious amounts of Sti's
Why should you never rub yourself in a strangers blood?
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A: Arousing the suspicions of Whitey
Q: What will be President Obama's final downfall?
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A: Faulty plumbing at the white house
Q: #1 Reason ED drugs are covered under the governments insurance policy'
Edit: does this mean I win?
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Yup.
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Solution for places like Boligee, Alabama?
Fixed. Phenix City isn't the worst of Alabama.