THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)
Comic Discussion => QUESTIONABLE CONTENT => Topic started by: iduguphergrave on 25 Nov 2012, 07:15
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Heya folks! Ready for a new caption game?? FIRST PANEL:
(http://i.imgur.com/6AHu8.png) (http://imgur.com/6AHu8)
Enjoy!
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CLINTON: Now that we've gotten to know one another, what's in the black bin?
MARTEN: For the last time, don't ask about the black bin, dammit!
CLAIRE: Trust me, you don't want to know.
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CLINTON: There's no such thing as a crimson-haired conspiracy.
MARTEN: I didn't say crimson-haired, I said blue-eyed!
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Clinton: "Why is this guy so weird?"
Marten: "I'M NOT WEIRD! My friends are..."
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CLINTON: "You didn't have to be such a dick just because I took a picture of Dr. E's kid."
MARTEN: "YOU DIDN'T TAKE ONE OF ME."
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Clinton: "You know, you were a big jerk to me the last time we talked."
Marten: "Probably because you. Were. Stalking. My. FRIEND!"
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Clinton: "Why is that doof looking at me funny?"
Marten: "Because I licked that! It was mine!"
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Clinton: "Your shirt is mis-spelled! It's an insult to anal-retentives everywhere!"
Marten: "It's vintage, dammit!"
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CLINTON: You know, Marten, I am starting to like you.
MARTEN: Get your hand out of my pants!
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Win!
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Clinton: "My other hand is a chainsaw."
MartenL "Just wait while I go get the boomstick."
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Clinton: "Don't get so pissy. Just because you suck at thumb wrestling..."
Marten: "Dammit, you're playing with a freakin' robot hand!"
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Clinton: You really need to learn how to use those new coffee machines, this is terr-
Marten: GIFT HORSES! GIFT HORSES!
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Clinton: "My other hand is a chainsaw."
MartenL "Just wait while I go get the boomstick."
Ooh, nice one! Allow me to borrowcorrupt your idea:
CLINTON: Yes, I have several other hands: a vibrator, a tentacle, and of course a fleshlight
MARTEN: Too. Much. INFORMATION!
CLINTON: Now if only Hannelore...
MARTEN: STAY AWAY FROM HER!
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Clinton: "Thank you for being the sort of person my sister would open up to. Oh, can you help me out? I need to find out why I'm $40 lighter in the wallet then when I got here."
Marten: "That's between your sister and Cossette to explain."
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Clinton: "Of course you are not surprised about Claire. You even stand like a girl."
Marten: "No, i don't!"
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Clinton : I'm a bit skeptical about your coffee making technique since you don't seem to know how to spell "tea" properly.
Marten : It's irony! Not that you would understand, robot!
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Clinton: "Of course you are not surprised about Claire. You even stand like a girl."
Marten: "No, i don't!"
WIN!
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Clinton: "You don't trick me. Something is wrong with that coffee."
Marten: "For the last time, I haven't spit in your coffee, but..."
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hehe. NEW IMAGE:
(http://i.imgur.com/zftAo.png) (http://imgur.com/zftAo)
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Tai: "Did ... did you just feel something like ... a warm current?"
Gabby: "Nope."
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OK, good! Got the urine joke out of the way right away. :roll:
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Yeah, someone had to go first.
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Someone had to *go* first, too.
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"I thought you were going to unclog the drain!"
"You said you were going to!"
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"See, I told you putting clothes in the dishwasher was a bad idea."
"Yeah, but you didn't have to use mine too!"
(Alt second line: "at least the clothes washer shorted out first; I don't think the guarantee covers broken glass in the motor")
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Tai: "I hope you don't find this too creepy. I mean, technically I'm your boss."
Gabby: "At least you're not my calculus teacher. I'm sure there is social protocol for this."
Momo (underwater): "You called?"
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TAI: Do you believe in the Loch Ness Monster?
GABBY: No, but I do believe I see a Sasquatch running along the beach.
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TAI: Do you believe in the Loch Ness Monster?
GABBY: No, but I do believe I see a Sasquatch running along the beach.
TAI: "Oh, that's just the guy who lives on the other side of the lake."
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Tai: "This would be more fun drunk"
Gabby: "Yeah, that sounds almost as fun as drowning"
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Tai: Why did you make such a big deal over hiding behind a bush to undress, anyway? It's not like I haven't seen a woman naked before.
Gabby: It's the HUMILITY.
(I am (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2237) so very (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2238) sorry... (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2239))
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Tai: Why did you make such a big deal over hiding behind a bush to undress, anyway? It's not like I haven't seen a woman naked before.
Gabby: It's the HUMILITY.
(I am (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2237) so very (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2238) sorry... (http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=2239))
Oh bloody hell, that's a WIN, now and forever.
I'll just take mine 'round back and shoot it.
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nice one, wayf!
</intentional non-sequitur>
Tai: So, the hot dogs are ready, huh?
Gabby: Umm... Muskrat?
</intentional non-sequitur>
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[ ... ]
Gabby: It's the HUMILITY.
[ ... ]
Took me a second. Then I lol'd.
Tai: "Agree that we never tell anyone about this?"
Gabby: " 'InvisiblUFO' abduction? Yepp."
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Tai: Why did you make such a big deal over hiding behind a bush to undress, anyway? It's not like I haven't seen a woman naked before.
Gabby: It's the HUMILITY.
Thread over. Next image.
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Tai: "Was that Marten I saw out here earlier?"
Gabby: "I'm sure you're mistaken. That could have been any skinny, dark haired boy on this lake. And I'm fairly positive he had a suit on."
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TAI: "So do you prefer the spork in your left hand or right?"
GABBY: "Depends. If there's a bendy straw, you leave that lying next to the tray while you unwrap the food with your right hand while holding the spork in your left. Unless your drink cup has a snap lid, in which case you stand the bendy straw up in the little X-hole. Either way, once you unwrap the food, you leave the food on the spread-out wrapper and transfer your spork to your right hand. If you have a side dish like fries, you can, in an informal setting, spread the fries out on one side of the wrapper."
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TAI: "So do you prefer the spork in your left hand or right?"
GABBY: "Depends. If there's a bendy straw, you leave that lying next to the tray while you unwrap the food with your right hand while holding the spork in your left. Unless your drink cup has a snap lid, in which case you stand the bendy straw up in the little X-hole. Either way, once you unwrap the food, you leave the food on the spread-out wrapper and transfer your spork to your right hand. If you have a side dish like fries, you can, in an informal setting, spread the fries out on one side of the wrapper."
Alternative ending:
GABBY: That depends. Is it a spork or a foon?
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TAI: "So do you prefer the spork in your left hand or right?"
GABBY: [stuff about sporks and bendy straws]
We deserve this.
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"Why didn't you invite Marten to join us when you did invite girls?"
"It's not the teat, it's the tumidity."
(not original, Edwin Newman came up with this).
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Alternative ending:
GABBY: That depends. Is it a spork or a foon?
Never call it that again. Never. My best friend calls it that and even though she's not a forumite, I don't want there to be even the slightest possibility that she could ever get the idea that foon is a word. In other words....
It's called a spork. The End.
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There was a "foon" in a Doctor Seuss story.
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(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/forks_and_spoons.png)
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Tai: "Wasn't the sun just out a moment ago?"
Gabby: "Yeah, it's like something large and invisible just floated in front of it..."
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Fun fact: "Spork" was almost Mr. Spock's name.
Fun opinion: "Foon" sounds like a Don Martin sound effect. (http://www.madcoversite.com/dmd-alphabetical.html)
Foon foon foon foon foon.
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Tai: "Wasn't the sun just out a moment ago?"
Gabby: "Yeah, it's like something large and invisible just floated in front of it..."
Haha, the Immininent Presence really wants to party.
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Do people actually use sporks? I've never even seen one, and the first time I met the word was when I watched FLCL. I note that the spell-checker in this browser doesn't acknowledge them either.
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Depends on the situation, If I'm eating takeaway on the go (like nachos or pasta) I'll use one.
Problem isn't the design per se it's the material. Companies make them as thin and weak as possible because they are single-use disposables... ergo they sell for a fraction of a cent/are sold in bulk. No sense in spending money on material that is just getting chucked after one use.
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Alternative ending:
GABBY: That depends. Is it a spork or a foon?
Never call it that again. Never. My best friend calls it that and even though she's not a forumite, I don't want there to be even the slightest possibility that she could ever get the idea that foon is a word. In other words....
It's called a spork. The End.
I think I'll call it a foon then, simply to spite you. :evil:
foon foon foon foon foon
On a more serious note: what did we do to deserve this infestation of cutlery discussions? Did we perhaps anger Anoia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discworld_gods#Anoia), goddess of things that get stuck in drawers?
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hehe. NEW IMAGE:
(http://i.imgur.com/zftAo.png) (http://imgur.com/zftAo)
Tai: Spoon?
Gabby: Only if I'm outside. I tend to fart in my sleep.
(back on track... and AWAY we go!)
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Tai: "Looks like Jeph has problems with the paint bucket tool."
Gabby: "You mean it's not just getting dark?"
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Depends on the situation, If I'm eating takeaway on the go (like nachos or pasta) I'll use one.
Problem isn't the design per se it's the material. Companies make them as thin and weak as possible because they are single-use disposables... ergo they sell for a fraction of a cent/are sold in bulk. No sense in spending money on material that is just getting chucked after one use.
You can buy them made out of titanium. (https://www.google.com/#hl=en&tbo=d&output=search&sclient=psy-ab&q=titanium+spork&oq=titanium+spork&gs_l=hp.3...911.4153.0.4974.20.17.0.0.0.2.1513.9307.2-1j2j1j6j0j2j1.13.0.les%3B..0.0...1c.1.eC23qNKNPC0&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&fp=218869a3ebd9715e&bpcl=39314241&biw=1042&bih=566) I'm not sure why.
At least one outfit sells a foon. (http://www.ems.com/product/index.jsp?productId=12652649) It comes with chopsticks.
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Do people actually use sporks? I've never even seen one, and the first time I met the word was when I watched FLCL. I note that the spell-checker in this browser doesn't acknowledge them either.
They are the only utensils we give the youth at our fine facility of not-so-higher learning.
And they come in a "permaware plastic" style for places like ours.
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The first time anybody from my small town saw one of these was in high school in the early 70s when we went to a larger city for a conference. They served breakfast in the school cafeteria, and there they were, bowl and prongs together.
And without us ever having seen them before, we immediately argued over whether they were sporks or foons.
(We preferred foons, because that's just a funnier word.)
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Didn't your small town have a franchise of Fried Unhealthy Chicken of Kentucky? They at least used to put sporks (damn you autocorrect, not "sparks"!) in their packages.
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TAI: "I can't see a thing underwater. Not that I'm, uh, trying to or anything."
GABBY: "It's the turbidity."
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TAI: "I can't see a thing underwater. Not that I'm, uh, trying to or anything."
GABBY: "It's the turbidity."
Bravo, sir. You win a SCIENCE!.
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Fried Unhealthy Chicken of Kentucky
Was that deliberate (look at the acronym)?
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I would suspect so.
Tai: "Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched?"
Gabby: "Nah, I'm not a believer in the Fourth Wall."
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Yes, and the fact that it could be taken as accidental is a bonus.
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TAI: "There's that thing that brought Hanners. It's practically standing still now, hovering over that house with the two nude old people. The back motors of the ship are just holding it just, just enough to keep it from — it burst into flames! It's on fire, and it's crashing! It's crashing terrible. It's burning and bursting into flames and, and it's falling on the nudists' house and all the forum agrees that this is terrible, this is one of the worst caption contest entries in the history of the forum. It's a terrible entry, ladies and gentlemen, and it's crashing to the ground, not quite to the pun jar ... "
GABBY: "It's the humanity!"
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<slow clap>
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Everyone's seen this?
(http://www.nytimes.com/images/blogs/laughlines/thehugemanatee.jpg)
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Tai: Couldn't help but notice a certain... perkiness... when you came out from the bush and got in the water...
Gabby: It's the frigidity.
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(http://www.allscrabblewords.com/words-that-end-with/dity)
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Tai: But I can still see the ... the perkiness.
Gabby: It's the lucidity.
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TAI: They really know how to ruin a joke, don't they.
GABBY: It's the absurdity.
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TAI: One of my friends thinks I spend too much time watching old reruns.
GABBY: It's the Lucydity.
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TAI: One of my friends thinks I spend too much time watching old reruns.
GABBY: It's the Lucydity.
I don't think we are talking about the same Lucy here:
TAI: I really like skeletons. Australopithecus afarensis in particular
GABBY: Me too! I call it Lucydity
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TAI: "How come I can't float in this lake as well as I could in that big lake in Utah?"
GABBY: "It's the salinity."
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TAI: Geez, you're really up on your politics!
GABBY: It's the Thucydity.
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Everyone's seen this?
(http://www.nytimes.com/images/blogs/laughlines/thehugemanatee.jpg)
Get that manatee some codeine!
Or at least some Beano.
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Redball: Oh, my.
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I'm trying to stop. Honest.
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You combined a good one with erudition. Mongo impressed.
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Tai: "If I were you, I'd be getting tired of the meme-like jokes about your hair."
Gabby: "It's the idiocy."
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Tai: "From which song is 'where the grass is green and the girls are pretty'?"
Gabby: "It's from 'Paradise City'"
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Tai: "There are getting to many of these jokes now."
Gabby: "There's a superfluity."
EDIT: Too used to IDEs adding closing quotes...
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What the hell did I start? :psyduck:
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Tai: "That WAYF guy on the forums is getting upset over the overuse of your hair meme."
Gabby: "I know, but it's the comedy."
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TAI: Seriously, it's not like we are repeating ourselves.
GABBY: Indeed we have the variety!
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Tai: "Do you think it's being run into the ground?"
Gabby: "Nah, that's the geology."
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ALRIGHT ALRIGHT. :psyduck:
Tai: It's the middle of winter! How are we still swimming in this lake?
Gabby: It's the fluidity.
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TAI: O hGod, I'm not feeling well!
GABBY: It's the mortality and morbidity.
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Tai: "Unrelated to anything at all, have you ever read those Viking navy seal books the blonde barista over at CoD is always talking about?"
Gabby: "No way! Nothing but turgidity, bleh!"
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Tai: "Would you ever consider dating one of those fanboys/girls of that forum?"
Gabby: "Hmm. Some of them are kinda cute, but no thanks. Really. It's ... it's their stupidity."
Are we anywhere near the end of this ditty? :psyduck:
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"Why do they keep doing that, anyway?"
"It's their quiddity."
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I... uh, I was going to comment on sporks, but now I feel like I have to make a pun... it's the unanimity.
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Oh god....I can't....I can't........I can't take this anymore! It's the insanity!
:psyduck:
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TAI: "I don't care if you call it a spork or a foon; I don't get the idea of combining the two in the first place."
GABBY: "It's the utility."
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TAI: What's that beverage developed for an African dictator inspired by the works of a Scottish philosopher?
GABBY: It's the Hume-Idi tea.
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Tai: "This joke is getting less and less funny with each telling."
Gabby: "It's the inanity."
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TAI: "I thought Jeph was drawing tomorrow's strip, but there's just the letters 'BRB' and ..."
GABBY: "It's a kitty!"
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"Oh the inanity!" needs to be a thing.
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Why is this thread not dead yet.
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IT'S THE HUMIDITY!
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Why is this thread not dead yet.
Glances up and down the forum furtively, then silences the thread with the whack of a club
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Damage Immunity!
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Damage Immunity!
[Voice of the Narrator as Rules lawyer] .... does not negate stun effects. .... and the thread fades to grey with the following .....
Large Man with Dead Thread: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Thread Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Thread: Right.
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It's the morbidity.
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[Voice of the Narrator as Rules lawyer] .... does not negate stun effects. .... and the thread fades to grey with the following .....
I couldn't think of a better semi-rhyme. :(
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Why is this thread not dead yet.
It's the immortality!
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I AM THE GRIM REAPER. I DO NOT THINK PEOPLE WISH ME TO GET...CREATIVE.
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You want the Mafia thread in Chatter.