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Author Topic: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD  (Read 115921 times)

Stryc9Fuego

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #550 on: 11 Jun 2009, 07:50 »

Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his
head. Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

This thread will NEVER DIE!

Patrick

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #551 on: 11 Jun 2009, 17:44 »

Man why you gotta do a thing? That is just tempting the mods.
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Zingoleb

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #552 on: 11 Jun 2009, 19:25 »

Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the hotelier three nails and says, "Put me up for the night."
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BeoPuppy

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #553 on: 11 Jun 2009, 23:56 »

Yeah, brilliant movie, that.
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Stryc9Fuego

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #554 on: 15 Jun 2009, 08:41 »

"Move and you're dead!"
"I say I'm dead, and still I move."

Agreed. Great movie.

Wolf

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #555 on: 16 Jun 2009, 08:29 »

Knock Knock

Who's there

9/11

9/11 Who?

You Said you'd never forget!
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Patrick

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #556 on: 17 Jun 2009, 05:35 »

Heh, that's an old favorite of mine. Here's a decent one that I stole from somewhere.

An old man goes into a drug store to buy some Viagra.

'Can I have 6 tablets, cut in quarters?'

'I can cut them for you,' said Dan the pharmacist, 'but a quarter tablet will not give you a full erection.'

'I'm 96,' said the old man. 'I don't want an erection, I just want it sticking out far enough so I don't piss on my slippers.'
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Yayniall

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #557 on: 17 Jun 2009, 16:16 »

Two boys are playing football in the park when one of them is attacked by a rottweiler. Thinking quickly, his friend rips a plank of wood from a fence, forces it into the dog's collar and twists it, breaking the dog's neck. All the while, a newspaper reporter who was taking a stroll through the park is watching. He rushes over, introduces himself and takes out his pad and pencil to start his story for the next edition. He writes, "Manchester City fan saves friend from vicious animal." The boy interrupts: "But I'm not a City fan." The reporter starts again: "Stockport County fan saves friend from horrific attack." The boy interrupts again: "I'm not a County fan either." The reporter asks: "Who do you support, then?" "United," replies the boy. So the reporter starts again: "Rag bastard kills family pet...".
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Zingoleb

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #558 on: 18 Jun 2009, 09:41 »

What's the difference between a poodle humping your leg and a rottweiler humping your leg?

You let the rottweiler finish.
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pharmmajor

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #559 on: 27 Jun 2009, 08:59 »

I'm going to hell for this one...  :evil:

Farrah Fawcett dies and goes to Heaven. At the gates, she is greeted by Saint Peter who says to her, "Miss Fawcett, in your life you touched many people and did many things to help your fellow man. Therefore, you shall be granted one wish."

Farrah thinks it over for a bit and says, "What I want the most is for all the children of the world to be safe from harm and danger."

St. Peter replies, "Very well. We'll kill Michael Jackson."
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MrBlu

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #560 on: 30 Jun 2009, 19:26 »

You were however the only one who liked that MJ Fox joke.
Thread success?
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wafflecone

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #561 on: 30 Jun 2009, 19:49 »

Ok so there's this polar bear, and he walks into a bar. The bartender asks "what can I get you?" and the bear replies "I'll have a gin and ............. tonic". The bartender asks "What's with the pause?" and the bear replies "What, these?", holding up his hands, "I've had them all my life!"

I was the only person in the room who laughed at this one. I'm ok with it.
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Masterbainter

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #562 on: 30 Jun 2009, 21:15 »

reminds me of my favorite pickup line to eventually not lead to anything...

What can a 500 lb polar bear do that a penguin can not?












Break the ice, How you doin'?
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Harun

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #563 on: 30 Jun 2009, 21:56 »

 Do you know how Billy Mays died?


He was reading the newspaper and saw that Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, and Michael Jackson all died within the same week. Then he stood up and said, “But wait! There’s more!”



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Zingoleb

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Re: THE REALLY BAD JOKES THREAD
« Reply #564 on: 30 Jun 2009, 22:36 »

I should stop mining this thread for jokes.

Polar bear one, small grin (which is a laugh)

^^^ That post - big laugh, went and told me roommate.
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