If I were a lot of bands, I'd change our fucking name to something less cheeky, ironic, and stupid.
If I were in a punk band, we'd be called Manty Lies, named after male panties and the Sonic Youth song 'Panty Lies.' We would be referred to as brrocore by the press and write songs about how women are dumb and being gay is awesome. Our first single would be called 'Suck My Left One (My Testicles, I Mean).'
If I were Sufjan Stevens, I'd get around to maybe finishing some new material before the end of the decade.
If I were Cat Power, I'd go back to drinking too much and actually playing my own songs in concert instead of dressing like a twat from the 80s and doing R&B/blues/country bullshit.
If I were in Radiohead, even I would have stop caring if I ever released another album.