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Author Topic: Terrible Movies Thread  (Read 184007 times)

Xerostyle

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Terrible Movies Thread
« on: 14 Feb 2008, 22:52 »

Talk about the worst movies you've ever seen.

I want to just say, Untraceable was really that bad. Think Saw, but with terrible plot holes and hilarious tech talk. If you know anything about technology, it comes off as a comedy.

.5/10
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #1 on: 14 Feb 2008, 23:25 »

Island of Dr. Moreau, 1996 version. Marlon Brando with an ice bucket on his head, Val Kilmer and a creepy li'l critter that served as the inspiration for Mini-Me.
« Last Edit: 14 Feb 2008, 23:33 by Whipstitch »
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #2 on: 14 Feb 2008, 23:49 »

Ben Ten: Race Against Time.  I was sitting there thinking, "It can't get worse"

Trust me, it does.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #3 on: 15 Feb 2008, 00:09 »

Ben Ten: Race Against Time.  I was sitting there thinking, "It can't get worse"

Trust me, it does.

Kinda reminds me of MANOS: Hands of Fate.

The movie is laughably funny.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #4 on: 15 Feb 2008, 05:00 »

I think everyone who's been around here for a while knows my position on this particular topic.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #5 on: 15 Feb 2008, 06:02 »

The Blair Witch Project. Ugh. Fucking Hell.

Miami Vice comes in up there too.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #6 on: 15 Feb 2008, 06:13 »

House of Wax. 

Fortunately, when I saw it, the film actually started to melt and the movie had to end early.  It was perfect.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #7 on: 15 Feb 2008, 06:18 »

House of Wax...melting?

Delicious.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #8 on: 15 Feb 2008, 06:53 »

Neil LaBute's remake of The Wicker Man.

"It was nominated for five 2006 Golden Raspberry Awards: Worst Picture, Worst Actor (Nicolas Cage), Worst Screenplay, Worst Remake or Rip-off, and Worst Screen Couple (Nicolas Cage and His Bear Suit)."
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #9 on: 15 Feb 2008, 09:03 »

Wicker Man Comedy Trailer

Also: John Tucker Must Die is the kind of movie that if filled with so many cliches the don't even bother with character development because they assume you know that characters are exactly like other characters you've seen in equally crappy movies.

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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #10 on: 15 Feb 2008, 09:32 »

Alone In The Dark.

Before I knew who Uwe Boll was, a friend of mine invited me over to see this because he hadn't seen any scary movies for a while.  He fell asleep 30 minutes in, all the way until 5 minutes before it ended.  I hadn't figured out what the hell was going on by the end of the movie because I kept looking at my dozing friend incredulously, wishing I could be in his position.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #11 on: 15 Feb 2008, 09:52 »

Birth. Seriously. It's complete shit. And I agree with Blair Witch and Wickerman remake. There are a lot of other films I could list, but it'd be really long.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #12 on: 15 Feb 2008, 12:22 »

Bayou Ghost.

Any of the semi-historical moves made recently: Alexandria, Troy, King Arthur, etc

Oh, and 30 Days of Night.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #13 on: 15 Feb 2008, 13:10 »

Don't we have one of these threads?

I'll go out on a limb and say The Temple of Doom.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #14 on: 15 Feb 2008, 13:19 »

"Bob Roberts" --I sat through most of this movie simply beacuse Alan Rickman was in it...but it simply was not worth it. Not even ALAN RICKMAN could save that film... Horrible.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #15 on: 15 Feb 2008, 13:41 »

it's rare for me to find a movie that i think is absolutely terrible. i'm the type of person that can usually find at least one thing i like about the things i hate.

that being said, Plan 9 From Outer Space

and the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre

ugh.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #16 on: 15 Feb 2008, 13:44 »

that being said, Plan 9 From Outer Space
I hope by "terrible" you mean terribly awesome.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #17 on: 15 Feb 2008, 13:45 »

sort of, yeah.

i LOVE how terrible it is but i wouldn't watch it ever again. twice is enough for me.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #18 on: 15 Feb 2008, 14:16 »

I'll go out on a limb and say The Temple of Doom.

But it's so terribly fun! Making fun of the lead female let alone makes up for the silliness.

Alexander was also terrible. The wig Farrell wore did not help in the slightest.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #19 on: 15 Feb 2008, 14:54 »

Yeah, while it may be my least favorite of the three The Temple of Doom was an homage to old cheesey adventure comics in the same way that Pulp Fiction was an homage to well, pulp fiction.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #20 on: 15 Feb 2008, 20:08 »

Almost every, if not all Adam Sandler "comedy" movies.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #21 on: 15 Feb 2008, 20:11 »

BOUND!

cheesy porn-style lesbian;
"ill bet you have a really old car that you do all your own work on"

cheesy butch;
"truck"

XD
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #22 on: 15 Feb 2008, 20:15 »

"The Magic Voyage", some European studio's attempt at a Disney-esque musical.

How bad is it? Here are the lyrics to a song:

"Oh, a life at sea is the life for me, what other life could there be?
Duh-duh-da-duh-dun-duh-daduhduhdunda-dee!"
Not ironic or melodious or anything, they really just sounded like they couldn't come up with a second line.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #23 on: 15 Feb 2008, 22:20 »

Shakma!

The exclamation point is part of the title.

Also, I Drink Your Blood
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #24 on: 15 Feb 2008, 22:25 »

 Basically any of those awful movies about urban dancing or gymnastics.

 Also pretty much any recent horror movie.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #25 on: 16 Feb 2008, 01:30 »

BLADERUNNER.

I know it's meant to be a cult classic, but I can't stand it. Watching that movie was some of the most painful hours of my life. Hours which I shall never get back.

I can't believe they remade it.

And then remade it again.

Honestly, once was enough. Three times is seriously pushing it.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #26 on: 16 Feb 2008, 02:38 »

The first time they re-cut the movie, it was necessary. It undid the butchery of the movie done by the studio. The third time was really just pulling out all the stops for fans. The differences between the  directors cut and the final cut seem to be minor, mostly unnoticeable. The main reason I think the "final cut" exist is the digital restoration. The digital restoration that makes it look better than 99% of all the movies that you're likely to see today.

Imagine, if you will, Citizen Kane had the Blade Runner treatment. Imagine that the studio handed the film back and demanded a more upbeat movie. Imagine that in the cinema release for Citizen Kane, he narrated his story and that the identity of Rosebud was never revealed, or didn't even matter. Surely, it would be justifiable to have this version of Citizen Kane re-cut into the movie we have today? Similarly, Blade Runner was a movie that need a directors cut.
Now, in a world where people can have High Definition cinema in their homes, standard definition just isn't going to cut it. Especially for a movie such as Blade Runner, which, whether you enjoy the movie or not, was a masterpiece  and a landmark moment in cinema for visuals and special effects. Digital restoration of these scenes was the least they could do. This justifies the third release.

Keep in mind, all of the 'new' parts added to subsequent versions of the film were done so from the original footage. No additional CG was added for the re-cuts and the only new footage recorded was to fix continuity errors. They didn't take this the 'star wars' route, and you have to respect them for that.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #27 on: 16 Feb 2008, 05:46 »

recent bad movies

i know who killed me
dragon wars D-war

thank god i only rented them... woulda walked out if i saw them on the big screen
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #28 on: 16 Feb 2008, 10:01 »

Sox nailed it. Take a really good album and then dub in the sounds that would come about if Yoko Ono and Howard the Duck were to fight to the death. That's the musical equivalent of Blade Runner's narration. This needed to be fixed.

Also, Howard the Duck is a really bad movie. I'll never figure out why people continually take things that exist only to subvert and then try to make mainstream entertainment out of it. I really don't think I should have to explain why this is usually a bad idea.
« Last Edit: 16 Feb 2008, 10:11 by Whipstitch »
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #29 on: 16 Feb 2008, 11:40 »

I saw Southland Tales last night.

The good parts, or I should say, the good lines, did not fill me with joy because they seemed to me to be derivative of David Lynch's style of dialogue.

"The world is slowing down at a rate of .0...
00...
000..
06...
miles per hour...
every day."

And the bad parts were the rest of the movie. A lot of sound and fury. Totally in love with itself.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #30 on: 16 Feb 2008, 19:01 »

Worst Movie Ever.....   Oh boy, what a thread to pop my forum cherry with.

Well I want to say BattleField Earth, but since its really just a religious recruitment film it doesn't count.  (Thats right boys and girls, join the cult... I mean Church of Scientology and you too can battle 9 foot tall Jon Travolta's)

Uve Boll has come out with a literal list of bad films. (This man is doing to video game movies what ET almost did to video games)
His newest one though, Dungeon Siege: In the Name of the King, may in fact be the king of suck.  The fact that this man can get A list actors to work for him is beyond amazing.  I mean Sir Ben Kingsley in BloodRayne was bad.... I mean that was freaken Ghandi.  But Burt "The Bandit" Reynolds!!!!  How did anyone get him to do a movie that didn't involve cars in some way, shape, or form.

Krull, has my award for both best/worst movie combo.  Everytime I watch it i swear it will be for the last time, its just so bad that I can't watch it anymore.  And yet a week later its back in my DVD Player and I am once again slackjawed in front of the screen.

But the winner might have to be the new animation release Dragon Lance.  Which to quote a friend was comparable to watching the '83 D&D cartoon while rubbing bleach into your eyes.  And while we are on D&D,  Mazes and Monsters comes in a close second for worst movie ever, but only because it has a young Tom Hanks in it and he somehow does the whole movie without once being intentionally funny.
« Last Edit: 16 Feb 2008, 19:04 by mrjoegangles »
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #31 on: 17 Feb 2008, 03:17 »

BLADERUNNER.

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS SHIT.

GET OFF THE INTERNET.

NOW.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #32 on: 17 Feb 2008, 20:46 »

The Crow.

Hands down.


The only reason you know the name of that movie is because of Hot Topic scenesters who think bad 80s movies about love, and lots of black, and revenge remind them of the angst they feel when their mom and dads refuse to buy them those awesome bondage pants.

You know they're parents would shop for their kid at Aeropastale. You know price isn't an issue. It's dignity. Any parent would lose a part of themself being seen with the kid who has huge, goofy looking pants, a hoodie with Eric Draven's face on it, and then have to admit that kid is their own.


Fuck you, The Crow. Fuck you.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #33 on: 17 Feb 2008, 21:03 »


Fuck you, The Crow. Fuck you.

Is there a emoticon for a slow clap?  Cause I feel the urge to start one now.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #34 on: 17 Feb 2008, 21:08 »

The Crow soundtrack could have been a lot more terrible though. Burn, Snakedriver, and Milquetoast were decent tunes.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #35 on: 18 Feb 2008, 00:00 »

*Is not into industrial metal* heh...
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #36 on: 18 Feb 2008, 00:43 »

But it featured a performance from My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult! My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult!

How about the Heavy Metal movies? Heavy Metal / Heavy Metal 2000? The original had a pretty good soundtrack (and ironic voicework from Second City veterans!) but the sequel was all Cyberpunk-era Billy Idol. Both are "sci-fi erotica". We got 2000 thinking it would be funny. Much to our dismay, it was soul-crushing.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #37 on: 18 Feb 2008, 02:17 »

Heavy Metal is ace.

Heavy Metal 2000, not so much.

Also, the Crow was released in 1994. It's a pretty good film. 86% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. It's a very well-shot, stylish action flick, with some great set-pieces and performances, given an extra level of compelling by Brandon Lee's death on set. It's maybe not a classic for the ages, though personally I think it's highly stylised, advanced model-based special effects could be used as a pointer for a lot of the CGI addicted fantasy/sci-fi directors today.

Now, the sequels and TV spin off? That's something else entirely.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #38 on: 18 Feb 2008, 08:07 »

The sequels have nothing to do with this. I thought it was awful. The dialogue was lacking, and it was too predictable. There were maybe one or two(at best) talented actors actually performing well. Overall, I thought it was cheesy, and cliche. Or maybe I'm just immune to tragic love stories that somehow involve lots of black, and men wearing makeup because of my lacking generation.

Either way I felt that The Crow...In essence....Fucking blew.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #39 on: 18 Feb 2008, 09:58 »

What did you think of every Tim Burton movie with Johnny Depp in it?
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #40 on: 18 Feb 2008, 11:01 »

*Is not into industrial metal* heh...


Uh, but those songs were by The Cure and the Jesus & Mary chain. They're about as metal as the Osmonds. :|

Oh. And Helmet. Not a big Helmet fan, but Milquetoast was one of their better ones.

I mean, I think there was a NIN track and something by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult, but that'd be the extent of the industrial connections.
« Last Edit: 18 Feb 2008, 11:10 by Whipstitch »
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #41 on: 18 Feb 2008, 13:48 »

Also, the Crow was released in 1994. It's a pretty good film. 86% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes. It's a very well-shot, stylish action flick, with some great set-pieces and performances, given an extra level of compelling by Brandon Lee's death on set. It's maybe not a classic for the ages, though personally I think it's highly stylised, advanced model-based special effects could be used as a pointer for a lot of the CGI addicted fantasy/sci-fi directors today.

Now, the sequels and TV spin off? That's something else entirely.

This is how I feel. I liked The Crow, but the sequels are complete crap.

For the men in makeup and people wearing lots of black, how do you feel about Beetlejuice? And if you're talking about how Hot Topic ruins things, then every Burton movie, Hello Kitty, various cartoons including Invader Zim and Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, etc. should also be ruined, but they aren't. Nightmare Before Christmas is still a wonderful movie, even though Jack's face is all over their merchandise.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #42 on: 18 Feb 2008, 13:59 »

Hot Topic ruins my mind.

Its existance in itself is a contradiction.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #43 on: 18 Feb 2008, 14:04 »

BloodRayne. Terrible, Terrible movie.  But I knew what I was getting into before I popped it into my XBOX.

My buddy and I watched it, and "rated" characters by level.

"Oh, she just reached level 40!"
"Nope, she was captured.  Loses 15 levels."
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #44 on: 18 Feb 2008, 15:13 »

Already said this somewhere else, but EarthSea is mortifyingly awful.  Period.

I can watch just about any movie, and find SOME modicum of value/goodness in it...

I about gouged my eyes out watching EarthSea.

Lol
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #45 on: 18 Feb 2008, 20:17 »

Alexander

Hi Oliver Stone, can I have three and a half hours of my life and some of my dignity and reason to exist back? Thank you.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #46 on: 18 Feb 2008, 21:12 »

House of Flying Daggars

My date and I laughed our way through this one. Here is the movie in a nutshell: betrayal, mistaken identity, someone almost dies (but not quite) in a very artistic fight scene, the heroine sheds a single tear. Repeat ad nauseum.

It is know in our family as the House of Flying Shit.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #47 on: 18 Feb 2008, 21:13 »

That post inspired me. I thought of Slither.

It is so bad that it is actually funny. I watched it one day and laughed harder than I had in a long time.
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Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #48 on: 18 Feb 2008, 21:34 »

Whoa... Don't be making fun of Slither.  That movie is supposed to be funny.  If there was ever a movie that didnt take itself serious it was that one.
And for anyone else who liked Slither i recommend Fido.  Its Pleasant Ville meets Dawn of the Dead.
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Liz

Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #49 on: 18 Feb 2008, 21:36 »

You see, that is what I thought after watching it. But one of my friends that I watched it with told me it was supposed to be scary, not funny. We argued and I ended up believing him.

Had I known it was supposed to be funny I don't know if I would have laughed as much.
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