Topic: Terrible Movies Thread (Read 208760 times)

Dissy · « **Reply #300 on:** 13 May 2008, 13:08 »

I just saw a terrible movie this morning. It was a Sci-Fi channel "Horror" movie, so I knew it would be bad, but it had Kevin Sorbo in it. "Never Cry Werewolf." Sorbo had a total of 30 mins of camera time over the course of 2 hours, and he got top billing. The best part of the movie was character said some sort of expletive, but all of them were muted out, but, the camera would zoom in on their face as they said it.

Another horrible movie was "Minotaur." It was "let's keep part of the myth intact, but fuck everything else" movie. The main character spends the whole movie looking for his girlfriend who was kidnapped the year previous. Oh, and there is a Minotaur which he is "destined" to kill, and he is in its subterranian cave.

Lillian · « **Reply #301 on:** 13 May 2008, 18:25 »

There are a lot of slasher movies on this list.
But...this movie is the worst:
Solaris. With George Clooney.
It was about fucking doorknobs and shit.
So horrid.

OcculusExInferni · « **Reply #302 on:** 14 May 2008, 00:01 »

"Sahara" was indeed a grand perversion. The original "Raise the Titanic!", from what I remember of it as I was only five-ish, at least had them blowing the ship off the bottom. Think they forgot the Russians, though.

That said, Aliens: Resurrection currently tops my list of terrible films, closely followed by Beloved.

teh pwn queen · « **Reply #303 on:** 14 May 2008, 05:58 »

I have to say that I must be lucky. I've seen hardly any of this movies on this thread, yay me...

With that said:
Any movie with Chris Farley in it is just so fucking horrible... I want to kick my non-exisitent nads.
Basically any sequel to any movie in the vast genre of 'horror'... name one good one and I'll name 12, or more, depending my mood.

And now for the specifics:
The Pride and Prejudice movie... the one with Keira Knightly, everything was just wrong... guess I was spoiled by the mini-series.
And Blood and Chocolate, it may have been good if I wasn't completely in love with the novel it was 'based' on. But, I did love the soundtrack, go figure.

There's a lot more, but the list is too long.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #304 on:** 14 May 2008, 08:50 »

Quote from: teh pwn queen on 14 May 2008, 05:58

Basically any sequel to any movie in the vast genre of 'horror'... name one good one

Aliens (sequel to Alien)

The Revenge of Frankenstein, 1959 (Sequel to The Curse of Frankenstein 1957)

The Brides of Dracula, 1960 (Sequel to The Horror of Dracula, 1958)

Mr. Mojo · « **Reply #305 on:** 14 May 2008, 08:51 »

Any movie on the SciFi channel during the weekends is usually the worst. However, i cannot stop myself from watching....

Muppet King · « **Reply #306 on:** 14 May 2008, 10:57 »

Sunshine

After watching Event Horizon again recently I realized that they're almost the exact same movie....except Event Horizon didn't suck as much.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #307 on:** 14 May 2008, 11:30 »

Well, those two have their small differences, but one is more of a horror movie and the other is more of a drama. I personally liked Sunshine more, actually. It made me feel more for the crew and their troubles than Event Horizon. Which was pretty fucking creepy. In a good way.

Liz · « **Reply #308 on:** 14 May 2008, 11:33 »

I haven't seen Event Horizon, but I didn't think Sunshine was that bad. Not amazing by any means, but still not horrible.

jill the ripper · « **Reply #309 on:** 14 May 2008, 15:59 »

There's that Phantom of the Opera movie.
With Julian Sands.
You know which one I'm talking about.
With the rats.

Fantasma, or something.
It was so bad I died a little inside.

Julian Sands eats kittens.

Lillian · « **Reply #310 on:** 14 May 2008, 17:37 »

that Phantom movie nearly broke my heart with its complete bad...ness.
ugh.

LucyStag · « **Reply #311 on:** 14 May 2008, 22:45 »

Quote from: Lillian on 13 May 2008, 18:25

There are a lot of slasher movies on this list.
But...this movie is the worst:
Solaris. With George Clooney.
It was about fucking doorknobs and shit.
So horrid.

OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT THIS MOVIE. I should hate you for reminding me that it exists, but now I remember that this is in fact the worst movie ever. It's worse than "The Hotel New Hampshire", a recently watched terrible favorite, but that movie is at least (accidentally) hilarious. "Solaris" was the most fucking boring movie on the face fo the earth. Good lord.

teh pwn queen · « **Reply #312 on:** 15 May 2008, 01:50 »

Quote from: Border Reiver on 14 May 2008, 08:50

Quote from: teh pwn queen on 14 May 2008, 05:58

Basically any sequel to any movie in the vast genre of 'horror'... name one good one

Aliens (sequel to Alien)

The Revenge of Frankenstein, 1959 (Sequel to The Curse of Frankenstein 1957)

The Brides of Dracula, 1960 (Sequel to The Horror of Dracula, 1958)

Hey... I didn't say that there weren't any... I just said that there are tons more lackluster sequels compared to the few gems in the pile. But if you want me to name the 36 or more for the challenge I presented... I can.
The problem is that this filmmakers happen to do well with a particular movie (or not, in some cases) so they try to bank on it by spewing out a ridiculous amount of sequels... aren't there over 9 Friday the 13th sequels? One including Jason in frikkin outer space???
Anyways, all I'm saying is that horror (I'm using the term generally) can't get the respect it should get because of all the bad apples.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #313 on:** 15 May 2008, 04:36 »

Hell, the rest of the movies in those arcs are either candidates for "really bad movie", or "lackluster effort", or "did they have pictures of you performing unnatural acts with reptiles to get you to do this?" I actually did have to rack my brain for a while to get decent sequels other than Aliens. The saving grace for the other films was Peter Cushing.

I agree that sequels are generally of lesser quality than the original, and that horror flicks tend to spawn some really bad sequels - the Firday the 13th films are an excellent example, but comedy also has its bastard step children - "The Police Academy" series (the first one was OK, then they made 6 sequels using the exact same formula, and fewer people that could act to the level of a high school drama club each time....)

Reed · « **Reply #314 on:** 16 May 2008, 08:46 »

Maybe it's a little too new for anyone to have see it, but Teeth was one of the most god awful movies I have ever watched....

....It's about a good christian girl who learns that her vagina has teeth....

....and uses them to castrate multiple men....

Border Reiver · « **Reply #315 on:** 16 May 2008, 10:05 »

That suspiciously sounds like a movie you should have said, "That's the stupidest concept for a movie I've heard in a long time. I think that I would rather enjoy the intellectual stimulation and fine acting of a Paris Hilton movie though..."

Fishboy · « **Reply #316 on:** 17 May 2008, 03:41 »

Quote from: Dire bacterium on 16 May 2008, 08:46

Maybe it's a little too new for anyone to have see it, but Teeth was one of the most god awful movies I have ever watched....

....It's about a good christian girl who learns that her vagina has teeth....

....and uses them to castrate multiple men....

Am I the only person who thinks that that sounds awesome?

Ikrik · « **Reply #317 on:** 17 May 2008, 04:23 »

Actually....That sounds like an amazingly hilarious movie. But I've heard about it from someone else before but I can't remember who. But I remember wanting to really see it then too.....and they pretty much described it in the exact same way.

minorbird · « **Reply #318 on:** 17 May 2008, 05:23 »

Oh I just remembered, Alien Vs. Hunter. Watch this.

Reed · « **Reply #319 on:** 17 May 2008, 16:22 »

It might sound like a hilarious movie, but in fact it just falls under the category of just plain bad. There are some portions that are so bad it's funny (you can even play the game "find the blatantly obvious vagina imagery"), but for the most part it's just bad.

Thaes · « **Reply #320 on:** 18 May 2008, 02:50 »

Teeth has made its way to my list of movies I just have to see some day.

Mr. Mojo · « **Reply #321 on:** 18 May 2008, 16:05 »

Quote from: Thaes on 18 May 2008, 02:50

Teeth has made its way to my list of movies I just have to see some day.

Oh man, that looks like a real good movie. Vagina+teeth=The scariest movie to come out in decades.

Fletch · « **Reply #322 on:** 23 May 2008, 04:24 »

I get the wierd feeling I enjoyed Solaris, but I remember feeling stoned when I was coming out of the cinema with my cousin.
Event Horizon is one of those few worst movies that had to be seen a third time before I enjoyed it.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #323 on:** 23 May 2008, 05:26 »

They better not be. I think they mean the Clooney remake.

Lillian · « **Reply #324 on:** 25 May 2008, 18:51 »

Clooney remake, don't worry.

frunK · « **Reply #325 on:** 26 May 2008, 09:46 »

Quote from: Dire bacterium on 16 May 2008, 08:46

Maybe it's a little too new for anyone to have see it, but Teeth was one of the most god awful movies I have ever watched....

....It's about a good christian girl who learns that her vagina has teeth....

....and uses them to castrate multiple men....

Funny, Teeth has been getting awesome critical acclaim among the horror industry.

I just remembered once time the Gimli Film Festival(hosted in my home town of Gimli, Manitoba, Canada. Not named after the dwarf of Tolkien fame) decided to have a bad and obscure Canadian horror night. The two films shown were The Corpse Eaters and the John Mikl Thor masterpiece Rock and Roll Nightmare.

Corpse eaters was a rather short, black and white zombie movie, where the dumb jock archetype character decides to impress his friends with a party trick his uncle taught him that involves satanic chanting(he just chants different names of the devil) and raising the dead. Good hokey fun.

Rock and Roll Nightmare however... oh man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXYzxiS3KrY&hl=en

itsrabid · « **Reply #326 on:** 26 May 2008, 16:58 »

Jumper was just plain awful.
So many things about it were wrong. In Japan, they drove on the RIGHT side of the road, and the shot of them coming out of the subway was just Times Square with the signs translated into Japanese. Not to mention the terrible plot, bad acting, and the fact that the flamethrower looked like someone had held up a match to a can of Axe, and had edited a gun over it.

Ikrik · « **Reply #327 on:** 26 May 2008, 17:14 »

Rock 'N' Roll Nightmare.........jesus christ that clip was terribly funny....but much more on the terrible side.

Jumper. Are you sure that the Japan stuff wasn't Japan? They made a HUGE deal about how they filmed pretty much everything on location and how they were actually flying all across the world to make this movie. That being said the girl from the OC and Anakin Skywalker? ewwww.

And I'm DEFINITELY seeing Teeth. RT gave it 80% and I'm reading most of the reviews and.....I'm seeing this film. One guy says it's better than Saw and Hostel.

Bennett the Sage · « **Reply #328 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 01:23 »

I hate Tim Burton movies with a passion...with a passion...

The only thing I like about Tim Burton is the fact that he made the Planet of the Apes remake, because when I meet his little fan boys/fan girls who, like mutts, wait for Burton to throw down whatever measly scraps of rotten food to them so he can delight in seeing them heartily devour the putrid filth, I can take the much indulgent pleasure of bringing up Planet of the Apes: the one scrap of said putrid filth they couldn't manage to choke down.

Sox · « **Reply #329 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 05:29 »

Quote from: Ikrik on 26 May 2008, 17:14

Jumper. Are you sure that the Japan stuff wasn't Japan? They made a HUGE deal about how they filmed pretty much everything on location and how they were actually flying all across the world to make this movie. That being said the girl from the OC and Anakin Skywalker? ewwww.

It was. Everything was shot on location and that is why Jumper is a way better movie than say, Indiana Jones 4. It makes a huge difference.
Hayden Christensen isn't a bad actor! I was surprised! He has been in some good movies and done a fantastic job on them. I recently found out that he was told by George Lucas NOT to act in the star wars prequels, which is really interesting.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #330 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 06:26 »

Quote from: Bennett the Sage on 26 Jun 2008, 01:23

I hate Tim Burton movies with a passion...with a passion...

The only thing I like about Tim Burton is the fact that he made the Planet of the Apes remake, because when I meet his little fan boys/fan girls who, like mutts, wait for Burton to throw down whatever measly scraps of rotten food to them so he can delight in seeing them heartily devour the putrid filth, I can take the much indulgent pleasure of bringing up Planet of the Apes: the one scrap of said putrid filth they couldn't manage to choke down.

I really liked that film actually. I like most of Burton's stuff. I mean, at least he's consistent, I've never walked out of a Burton film disappointed because he pretty much always delivers what you expect, ie: vaguely dark, kind of gothic and reasonably amusing. Sure it's usually tripe, but it's entertaining tripe. If you're looking to Burton expecting some semblance of high cinema, well I think you might be at best watching the wrong film and at worst a total moron. I'm going to be optimistic about this and hope it's the former.

Bennett the Sage · « **Reply #331 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 14:59 »

I wouldn't mind Tim Burton so much if he actually made an original film. Ever since Nightmare before Christmas, all he does is draw from the proverbial well of remakes and fodder for goth tweens. Seriously, in the six films he directed since Mars Attacks back in '96, four of them are remakes: Sweeney Todd, Planet of the Apes, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and Sleepy Hollow. And now, he's remaking himself with Frankenweenie! You already made it Tim, you don't need to make it again. What was his mindset for doing this: "Damn it, there aren't any more films to remake any more. I know! I'll remake myself! But which film? Corpse Bride? Nah, too recent...I know! Frankenweenie! About five people saw that back in 1984, they'll never know!" Well, Timmy-Boy, you may fool the thirteen year old Goths, but you can't fool me!

Betagold · « **Reply #332 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 16:21 »

Back on topic, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls was just awful. The acting wasn't bad, and the characters had good chemistry, it's just that the plot was the most awful thing in the movies this year.

jill the ripper · « **Reply #333 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 16:39 »

It was Indiana Jones.
Frankly, the prior two had sort of dumb plots when you actually think about it, and nothing has been plausible since the very very first one.
That's the whole point of them. They're good American fun, and not meant to be taken seriously. In the Great Time of Absence, people forgot what Indiana Jones was.
Silly.

Betagold · « **Reply #334 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 16:46 »

No, it's all about the suspension of disbelief. I could suspend my disbelief for the first two and most of the third one because they were engrossing. This one didn't make me believe it at all.

jill the ripper · « **Reply #335 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 16:53 »

Neil Gaiman said, I think it was about Indy. J., that you not only needed to suspend your disbelief, but tie it up and lock it in a closet as well.
He's exactly right. I had no problem suspending disbelief, but I'm easily involved.

Indy is one of my favourite heros, even if they made a fifth one and it was the most awful thing in the world, I would love it. I was weened on that stuff.

Betagold · « **Reply #336 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 16:55 »

Don't get me wrong, I'd see the fifth one even if it was Indy and the Search for the Golden Depends, but it just wasn't a good movie. I expect to own it on DVD when it comes out.

Tom · « **Reply #337 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 17:00 »

I agree with what jill said/says.

jill the ripper · « **Reply #338 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 17:12 »

Quote from: Betagold on 26 Jun 2008, 16:55

Indy and the Search for the Golden Depends

That made me LOL.
Not a quiet chuckle.
A long, long guffaw.
I still am.

Surgoshan · « **Reply #339 on:** 26 Jun 2008, 19:13 »

I noticed the terrible CG in Indy. Particularly the ants. And the monkeys. Still and all, I was able to enjoy the movie. Except for Last Crusade, which I can't recall pushing the envelope, new-effects-wise, the Indy movies have had pretty awful effects. Remember the end of Ark, when a guy's face melted off? (Spoiler warning? Blow.) However, you'd expect CG to be mature enough (16 years old) that you wouldn't really notice it any more, because it's just gotten that good. :shrug: I think you'll just have to expect that any film with Lucas involved will have some suck liberally poured on top of it and you'll just have to hope that the awesome of others will shine through that coating of suck.

Dissy · « **Reply #340 on:** 27 Jun 2008, 08:39 »

Quote from: Surgoshan on 26 Jun 2008, 19:13

I noticed the terrible CG in Indy. Particularly the ants. And the monkeys. Still and all, I was able to enjoy the movie. Except for Last Crusade, which I can't recall pushing the envelope, new-effects-wise, the Indy movies have had pretty awful effects. Remember the end of Ark, when a guy's face melted off? (Spoiler warning? Blow.) However, you'd expect CG to be mature enough (16 years old) that you wouldn't really notice it any more, because it's just gotten that good. :shrug: I think you'll just have to expect that any film with Lucas involved will have some suck liberally poured on top of it and you'll just have to hope that the awesome of others will shine through that coating of suck.

NOT THE PRAIRIE DOGS?!?

Betagold · « **Reply #341 on:** 27 Jun 2008, 11:48 »

Quote from: Dissy on 27 Jun 2008, 08:39

Quote from: Surgoshan on 26 Jun 2008, 19:13
I noticed the terrible CG in Indy. Particularly the ants. And the monkeys. Still and all, I was able to enjoy the movie. Except for Last Crusade, which I can't recall pushing the envelope, new-effects-wise, the Indy movies have had pretty awful effects. Remember the end of Ark, when a guy's face melted off? (Spoiler warning? Blow.) However, you'd expect CG to be mature enough (16 years old) that you wouldn't really notice it any more, because it's just gotten that good. :shrug: I think you'll just have to expect that any film with Lucas involved will have some suck liberally poured on top of it and you'll just have to hope that the awesome of others will shine through that coating of suck.

NOT THE PRAIRIE DOGS?!?

The prarie dogs are what made that movie tolerable.

Mister Arkadin · « **Reply #342 on:** 29 Jun 2008, 15:29 »

i am probably the only person ever who didn't like juno but ellen page really pisses me off. the whole movie just reeked of 'indie' so that people who think they are 'indie' because they like garden state and little miss sunshine (which was actually a pretty damn good movie) and listen to the shins would buy into it. i just didn't see how it was supposed to be clever.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #343 on:** 29 Jun 2008, 16:06 »

I didn't like it much, either. I won't say it's horrible, but a lot of it felt forced, and a bit pretentious.

Alex C · « **Reply #344 on:** 30 Jun 2008, 12:58 »

I enjoyd Juno, but I'm not sure why so many media people like to call the character Juno really smart. She's snarky and doesn't seem to have any sort of filter between her mouth and her brain, but by that standard 4chan is filled with geniuses.

The Albatross · « **Reply #345 on:** 13 Jul 2008, 19:24 »

Three words:

The Gingerdead Man

Yes, I said it. I just had to expand my repertoire of abominable yet insanely hilarious horror flicks. If you want a good laugh at bad acting, horrible plot, and a movie that literally leaves you questioning everything the characters do, see this. I think in the special features interviews, it's just Gary Busey crying for a half an hour.

Yes, I'm new.

Insectile · « **Reply #346 on:** 14 Jul 2008, 23:04 »

I dont know if these had been mentioned but i must say
Fuck;
Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within, this was regurgitation from Hell binding with every worst Sci-Fi movie ever (Doesn't have Ben Affleck)
Wild Wild West, first movie with Will Smith I have ever wanted my money back
Hancock, this was the second I felt cheated when it died half way through
The Hulk (2003), worst comic book movie to date

Ikrik · « **Reply #347 on:** 14 Jul 2008, 23:16 »

Oh dude, I will totally fight you for Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. I loved that movie when it came out, saw it in theatres, and I've seen it again recently and I still enjoy it. So what if it's not like Cloud or whatever....I still thought it was great (except for Ben Affleck).

Hancock wasn't terrible. It was totally entertaining. It wasn't amazing and it totally suffered from an identity crisis less than halfway through, but still a quite entertaining film.

Has Eddie Murphy made a good film in the past like...8 years?

Surgoshan · « **Reply #348 on:** 14 Jul 2008, 23:25 »

Quote from: Ikrik on 14 Jul 2008, 23:16

Has Eddie Murphy made a good film in the past like...8 years?

The Shrek series? Really, that's all I could find in his filmography, 2000 or after, that looks okay.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #349 on:** 15 Jul 2008, 07:32 »

Quote from: Insectile on 14 Jul 2008, 23:04

The Hulk (2003), worst comic book movie to date

Batman and Robin - much worse than The Hulk

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Terrible Movies Thread (Read 208760 times)

Lillian

OcculusExInferni

Mr. Mojo

jill the ripper

Lillian

Mr. Mojo

Fletch

Lillian

frunK

itsrabid

Bennett the Sage

Bennett the Sage

jill the ripper

jill the ripper

jill the ripper

Mister Arkadin

The Albatross