Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

  • 09 Dec 2021, 03:28
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 [10]   Go Down

Author Topic: Terrible Movies Thread  (Read 184377 times)

Siibillam-Law

  • Psychopath in a hockey mask
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 649
  • Ha Ha Fucking Ha
    • Siibillam's Storywrite
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #450 on: 28 Jun 2009, 22:18 »

The movie of Takashi Mike has implemented to the people because of the thread they brought,then it could be say that it was terrible.Thanks!

Uh...what the fuck?  I'm guessing you don't speak English very well, because I am confused as hell as to what you're trying to say.

And Sibiliam, which one?  That's three dudes who make good movies.

Miike. Miike totally owns. Haha, still trying to figure out what "implemented to the people because of the thread they brought" means
Logged
There is no sin except stupidity

el_loco_avs

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 191
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #451 on: 03 Jul 2009, 02:39 »

WILD ZERO.

Japanese.
Zombie
Horrorcomedy
with ROCKNLOLL! provided by the awesome band Guitar Wolf playing themselves.

Check out the drinking game actually posted on Wiki.
Logged

AanAllein

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 162
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #452 on: 04 Jul 2009, 00:52 »

Man, Wild Zero is awesome. Any film where someone cuts a UFO in half with a guitar-sword doesn't deserve to be in this thread (or demands it, I suppose, depending on your perspective).
Logged

Siibillam-Law

  • Psychopath in a hockey mask
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 649
  • Ha Ha Fucking Ha
    • Siibillam's Storywrite
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #453 on: 05 Jul 2009, 14:24 »

I think it's time for me to jump on the "Wild Zero is awesome" train

..
Wild Zero is awesome
Logged
There is no sin except stupidity

Be My Head

  • Psychopath in a hockey mask
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 641
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #454 on: 05 Jul 2009, 16:22 »

What about Takashi Miike movies?  Kurosawa?  Ozu?

Kurosawa? No.

Takashi Miike? Yes.

Never seen anything by Yasujirō Ozu. But Takashi Miike is like a second rate Quentin Tarantino.

Akira Kurosawa, of course, made totally badass movies.
Logged

BurningSky

  • Not quite a lurker
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10
    • The Blogule
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #455 on: 05 Jul 2009, 17:21 »

For me, movies fit on a sort of bell curve. At the top are serious films that are expertly directed with good acting, good characters, and a stellar plot. Movies like Amelie, WALL-E, and The Seven Samurai are at the very top. At the other end, are movies that are so freakin' terrible that they are a joy to watch. Movies like Commando, Dolemite, and, Class of 1999 II: The Substitute are on that end.

It's the movies that fall in the middle that are the worst to watch. Not amazing or laughably terrible, when the credits roll, I feel like a piece of me has died. Films like Screwed with Norm McDonald, U-571, and, and The Sentinel (with Michael Douglas and that chick from Desperate Housewives). Just boring pieces of crap that were pushed through development to make a quick buck or a bad comedian's failed attempt to carry a film. That stuff is the worst.

Also, any film that takes a part of my childhood and shits on it (I'm looking at you Dragonball: Evolution!). Fuck the people that made those movies.
Logged

Cartilage Head

  • Only pretending to work
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,207
  • Do Me Baby
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #456 on: 05 Jul 2009, 23:32 »

 What the hell man.

Takashi Miike movies are fucking awesome.

 What the hell.
Logged
Hate, rain on me

Gemmwah

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,253
  • fffffffffffffffffff
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #457 on: 06 Jul 2009, 03:12 »

Sherlock Bones

Talking dog with an eye patch recruits the help of a boy, his friend and his crazy scientist father to help find his owner, who was kidnapped by bad guys in lycra with bad hair cuts, all set in the 80s.
Logged
oh good god 4lko jaeger bomb. Holy goood god what have I done.
 :psyduck: psyduck is the most appropriate right now. FUUUUKC

David_Dovey

  • Nearly grown up
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8,687
  • j'accuse!
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #458 on: 07 Jul 2009, 04:13 »

Wait, set in the Eighties, or actually made in the Eighties?

This is very important Gemm
Logged
It's a roasted cocoa bean, commonly found in vaginas.

Gemmwah

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,253
  • fffffffffffffffffff
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #459 on: 07 Jul 2009, 04:14 »

I don't even know! Probably made in the Eighties, when I think about it. The budget was probably $20.
Logged
oh good god 4lko jaeger bomb. Holy goood god what have I done.
 :psyduck: psyduck is the most appropriate right now. FUUUUKC

David_Dovey

  • Nearly grown up
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8,687
  • j'accuse!
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #460 on: 07 Jul 2009, 04:20 »

imdb is telling me 1994, which is close enough, really.
Logged
It's a roasted cocoa bean, commonly found in vaginas.

Siibillam-Law

  • Psychopath in a hockey mask
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 649
  • Ha Ha Fucking Ha
    • Siibillam's Storywrite
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #461 on: 07 Jul 2009, 04:34 »

People hadn't really gotten over the eighties by that time
Logged
There is no sin except stupidity

Be My Head

  • Psychopath in a hockey mask
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 641
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #462 on: 07 Jul 2009, 20:32 »

Blast, only one seed for the bittorrent file. That's not enough. I kinda wanted to see it.
Logged

Jimor

  • William Gibson's Babydaddy
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,279
    • Twitch Channel
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #463 on: 08 Jul 2009, 01:39 »

Nothing really to add, I just wanted to move this thread closer to the SyFy thread for what should be obvious reasons.
Logged
Twitch I play games and hang out with friends.

SonofZ3

  • The German Chancellory building
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 495
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #464 on: 09 Jul 2009, 08:06 »

I just saw the movie "Immortal" from 2005, one some movie channel my parents get. It was fucking terrible.
Logged
I've gained nothing from Zen.

Border Reiver

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,192
  • Yes, I painted this.
    • The Pet Patch
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #465 on: 09 Jul 2009, 09:42 »

A couple of weeks ago the Space Network was showing yet another movie based on the epic poem of Beowulf, the title of this movie was "Grendel".

I've got say this about the story -

if you're in the mood the poem in Old English the poem itself is accessible and a decent read;
The 13th Warrior is a pretty good take on the story, either print or film;
Beowulf and Grendel (starring Gerrard Butler) is a very good take on the story;
The animated Beowulf should be forgotten;
The Christopher Lambert version can be safely ignored, or watched; and

"Grendel" needs to be consigned to the dustbin of history, the actors stricken from the IMDB and the producers who funded this dreck need to be hunted down and slaughtered in violent and public ways as a lesson to others.

To start off the CGI monsters are horrifically animated and cut into the scenes,  we're talking CGI by some 2nd semester Computer Animation student kind of bad.  The trees in the story were less wooden than the actors, and the props were insulting.  I realize that "The 13th Warrior" played fast and loose with the what sort of armour a 9th century norsemen might have, but it didn't go quite so WTF as to put horns on the helmets that would put a Cape buffalo to shame.  Combined with Beowulf's multishot crossbow with the telescopic sight (and that was carried like the actor thought it was an assault rifle with the muzzle down) I had to keep skipping the channel to the Home and Garden TV network and Holmes on Homes to keep my sanity and my nerd rage from boiling over.

Although I am a nitpicking history major I can overlook some historical errors/flaws in my stories - provided the acting is decent, and the mistake/error/whatever is either necessary for the story and there is a plausible explanation (doesn't even have to be explained).  So, the Leopard tanks painted Panzer Grey and masquerading as Tiger tanks in "A Bridge Too Far" - completely acceptable; the gladiator helmet occasionally worn by one of the warriors in "The 13th Warrior" -  within the bounds of enjoyment - everything else looks right and the rest of the movie makes up for it;  "Braveheart" - well the story's a good un and the actings pretty fair, but damn the liberties that Mel "I hate the English" Gibson takes with history come close making this movie a fantasy (don't get me started on "The Patriot")
Logged
"It's a futile gesture that my sense of right and wrong tells me I should make." Is It Cold Here, 19 Mar 2013, 02:12

BurningSky

  • Not quite a lurker
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10
    • The Blogule
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #466 on: 09 Jul 2009, 23:28 »

Us history majors could do a whole thread on inaccuracies in film. Did you see Gladiator? Commudus was strangled in his bathtub by a gay lover who was a wrestler, not Maximus, who was actually killed in that early execution scene (Sometimes frost makes the blade stick).

Anytime I see plate armor in movies set in the middle ages, ugh. Sometimes I joke that Monty Python and the Holy Grail was the most historically accurate depiction of the middle ages on film. They got the costumes right, the ridiculousness of medieval logic, the grime, and the setting. I can't think of another film that gets that close to reality.
Logged

MadassAlex

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,053
  • "Tasteful"?
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #467 on: 10 Jul 2009, 02:33 »

Today I purchased, online:

- Wild Zero
- The Machine Girl
- Six String Samurai
- Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer/Hunter (can't remember which)
Logged

Gemmwah

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,253
  • fffffffffffffffffff
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #468 on: 10 Jul 2009, 03:08 »

The Machine Girl is an excellently hilarious gore spoof movie, I love it.
Logged
oh good god 4lko jaeger bomb. Holy goood god what have I done.
 :psyduck: psyduck is the most appropriate right now. FUUUUKC

Border Reiver

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,192
  • Yes, I painted this.
    • The Pet Patch
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #469 on: 10 Jul 2009, 05:23 »

I have just recieved three terribly awesome movies:

Godzilla - King of Monsters
Godzilla's Revenge; and
Terror of Mechagodzilla.

Everyonce in a while you have to indulge your taste for monster movies where you can see the zipper.
Logged
"It's a futile gesture that my sense of right and wrong tells me I should make." Is It Cold Here, 19 Mar 2013, 02:12

Mr. Doctor

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,323
  • X-Ray Rod
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #470 on: 12 Jul 2009, 18:04 »

I remember I saw the ending of Alien Vs Depredator... And I also remember that I wanted my 20 minutes back but I never got them. I still feel bad about it.
It sucked really bad

Alexander was... horrible. I saw it on the movie so it was even worse. The scene that maked it clear to me that the movie was shit was when the old man told about Alexander's last moments... That monologue was like... what, 20-30 minutes? and then the old man just stops and tells the guy who is writting the history:
"Naaah... don't write that, it's not good... just write that he got sick or something" I think my face melt that day because of how pissed off I was after hearing that monologue getting raped that way.
The film was just waaaaay to long.
Logged

bob, just bob

  • Emoticontraindication
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 54
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #471 on: 12 Jul 2009, 18:57 »

- Six String Samurai

Fuck Yeah Six String Samurai. I found it in a second hand shop for 4 bucks.
it was the greatest 4 dollars I ever spent in my life.
Logged
Damn, you're going to have to dump her near her birthday, tough break.

Inlander

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,361
  • Hug your local saintly donkey.
    • Instant Life Substitute
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #472 on: 12 Jul 2009, 20:13 »

 I saw a terrible movie on Friday night. And it was worse than a normal terrible movie, because it was meant to be a good movie. It was called Two Lovers. It was directed by . . . I want to say Tony Gray, but that's not right, 'cause that's the guy from the Wire . . . Umm . . . We Own the Knight, the Yards . . . James Gray! That's the one. It was directed by James Gray, and it starred Joaquin Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Vinessa Shaw. Basically, in the film Phoenix's character, who's bipolar, starts going out with Shaw's character, but then gets a crush on Paltrow's character. Tedium ensues.

The first problem with this movie was that the characters are in their thirties, I guess, but they all behave like teenagers. Seriously. For starters Phoenix's character lives with his parents. Okay, but his mentally ill, so sure, whatever. But then when we're introduced to Shaw's character it's because she's come round to dinner at Phoenix's parents' apartment - with her parents. And then when Phoenix's parents mention that he takes photos, Shaw and Phoenix scurry off to Phoenix's bedroom - where they sit on his bed while he mumbles and shows her his photos and she's all "Wow, did you take these? That's so amazing". I mean seriously, this is not the behaviour of people who are in their thirties. Grown-ups to not behave this way. So that's fucking weird, and for a while I tried enjoying the film as some kind of bizarre art-film conceptual exercise in having grown-up actors play teenagers. But that approach didn't really pay off.

Then there's the flagrant male wish-fulfillment element. Phoenix's character basically has no redeeming qualities. He's flaky and he follows people around like a puppy and he mumbles all the time. It's some pretty cheesy "crazy person" acting from Phoenix, to be honest. And yet Shaw's character falls head-over-heels in love with him because . . . I dunno, because her parents like his parents and because he takes nice photos and because he's sensitive and damaged, I guess. At one point she actually says to him "I want to take care of you." Yes, Tony James Gray, we all want a gorgeous woman to take care of us, but it's not going to happen because we live in the real world, not some shitty wannabe-heavyweight Hollywood drama. But the male fantasy gets even worse: eventually Phoenix's character and Paltrow's character have sex (following a ludicrous "I love you, it's real love" speech from Phoenix - what exactly it is that he loves isn't clear, because Paltrow's character has all the depth and detail of a piece of paper. Maybe it's her purdy gold hair?). The sex lasts literally ten seconds, tops. Two thrusts from Phoenix (good sex acting, Joaquin), grunt, then it's all over. Oh, and this takes place fully clothed, on an apartment roof-top, in the middle of winter. Okay, whatever, sometimes people have crappy sex - but then, in the next scene, Phoenix's character is talking on the telephone to Paltrow's character, and Paltrow says - I swear to god - "That was beautiful".

IN YOUR FUCKING DREAMS, TONY JAMES GRAY!

Oh, and extra bonus hack directing points: post-sex, cut to long shot of the apartment rooftop. All is silent, except for church bells which can be heard ringing in the distance. DID YOU GET THAT, AUDIENCE, OR WAS IT TOO SUBTLE FOR YOU? THE BELLS MEAN HE JUST GOT LAID!!

Trust me, I've only scratched the crappy surface of this film. The worse part is that there are many critics who genuinely seemed to be moved and impressed by this awful nonsense.

Isabella Rossellini's character was good, though. Also, apparently now Elias Koteas is playing "the older man". Freaky.  
Logged

Izyks

  • Guest
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #473 on: 17 Jul 2009, 14:47 »

Pulp Fiction when they edited for television viewing. Just the preview is bad enough to make me laugh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xau8HucxWjE
Logged

AanAllein

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 162
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #474 on: 22 Jul 2009, 18:15 »

I saw a terrible movie on Friday night. And it was worse than a normal terrible movie, because it was meant to be a good movie. It was called Two Lovers. It was directed by . . . I want to say Tony Gray, but that's not right, 'cause that's the guy from the Wire . . . Umm . . . We Own the Knight, the Yards . . . James Gray! That's the one. It was directed by James Gray, and it starred Joaquin Phoenix, Gwyneth Paltrow, and Vinessa Shaw. Basically, in the film Phoenix's character, who's bipolar, starts going out with Shaw's character, but then gets a crush on Paltrow's character. Tedium ensues.

I haven't seen the movie, but this was an interesting take on what the movie was doing: http://www.mattnoller.com/blog/?p=11

It doesn't sound like the kind of movie I'd enjoy either, but it seems like most of the creepiness/teenager actions were a deliberate choice.
Logged

Inlander

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,361
  • Hug your local saintly donkey.
    • Instant Life Substitute
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #475 on: 22 Jul 2009, 19:37 »

The problem with the arguments for the film put forward in that review is that, to me at least, the film doesn't achieve any kind of "emotional honesty". Honesty requires some degree of truth or relationship with reality, and (again, to me) everything about the film was hopelessly contrived and laughably and bizarrely unrealistic. I was watching a film full of characters doing strange things, and at no point did I feel like I was watching real people who might conceivably exist somewhere in the world.
Logged

Ikrik

  • Asleep in the boner patch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 769
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #476 on: 23 Jul 2009, 01:02 »

Today I purchased, online:

- Wild Zero
- The Machine Girl
- Six String Samurai
- Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer/Hunter (can't remember which)

Machine Girl is one of my favourite movies...Tokyo Gore Police (his next film) I'm a little iffy on.
Six String Samurai was very interesting but I felt like it could have been a billion times more...that little kid screaming the entire film ruined any chance of me liking it.
Jesus Christ Vampire Slayer was SO cool until it turned into a horrible, horrible musical.

I'll add
The Reaping: A biblical plague is affecting this small American town and the girl from Million Dollar Baby (I never remember her name) goes there to prove that it can all be explained by science. I'll spoil the whole movie for you by saying that it can't and that the movie is absolutely horrible without any redeeming features. 
Toxic Avenger: I think this has been mentioned but I'll bring it up again because, even though it's horrible, I enjoyed it quite a bit. 
Slumber Party Massacre: Terrible because it is EASILY the single most generic horror movie that's ever been made. If someone can name me a more generic horror film I'll be amazed.
Logged

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,935
  • The Phallussar
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #477 on: 23 Jul 2009, 01:16 »

Yeah, even the trailer for the reaping looked terrible.
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

Blyss

  • 1-800-SCABIES
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 822
  • I got skillz with the plastic motherfucker. SKILLZ
    • Gamers like games
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #478 on: 24 Jul 2009, 12:14 »

Slumber Party Massacre: Terrible because it is EASILY the single most generic horror movie that's ever been made. If someone can name me a more generic horror film I'll be amazed.

The Gates of Hell is actually worse as far as being generic goes, than Slumber Party Massacre - to me anyway.



**walks off muttering to himself about why he's even SEEN these two movies... :?
Logged
"Psychos?!  Did they look like psychos?  They were vampires!  Psychos DO NOT explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"  Seth Gecko

My blog

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #479 on: 24 Jul 2009, 14:58 »

About the Beowulf movies:

The Christopher Lambert version can be safely ignored, or watched; and

That one is just hilarious. It isn't a good movie, but I liked it anyway, they weren't the least bit afraid to embrace the cheese.
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

Ikrik

  • Asleep in the boner patch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 769
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #480 on: 24 Jul 2009, 17:42 »

I'll throw in another terrible horror film: Dead Silence. It's made by the people who made Saw and it follows their tradition of having a great concept and not doing anything at all with it (Repo).  It's a horror film about a ventriloquists doll.  This has been done before, Puppet Master did it right, Dead Silence has no idea what it's trying to do.  This guy gets this creepy doll on his doorstep one day and it ends up killing his wife.  He goes back to his town of Ravens Fair and tries to figure out why the doll was sent to him and stumbles upon the legend of Mary Shaw.  Shaw was this super famous ventriloquist who ended up killing a boy because he says "I saw your lips moving."  She amazes the audience because then she and the doll both speak at the same time.  The kid ends up going missing and the townsfolk cut out Mary Shaws tongue and kill her...time passes.  I'll stop there because this movie is just so bad.  The fact that Mary Shaw couldn't even take the slightest amount of criticism bothers me, all the kid says was "I saw your lips moving."  That's all, and then she swears revenge on everyone in his family and eugh. 

The film itself is composed of some nice scenery and has great atmosphere but the director has absolutely no idea what's scary.  The main doll is so underused and 98% of the scares are jump scares.  There's only one good character: Donnie Wahlberg.  He plays a cop who thinks that the protagonist killed his wife and follows him back to his town.  He's actually used really well in the film and was one of the only reasons I finished the movie.

Oh.  And Dead Silence has a really, REALLY stupid plot twist that I totally didn't see coming but was not really all that surprising or shocking. 
Logged

BeoPuppy

Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #481 on: 24 Jul 2009, 17:42 »

Did anybody mention Lesbian Vampire Killers?

Because it SUCKs,

It was the mystery movie in the cinema a few weeks ago and had I known that was coming I'd have gone and done something else.
« Last Edit: 24 Jul 2009, 17:45 by BeoPuppy »
Logged
My Art.
I was into Stumpy and the Cuntfarts before they sold out.

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,935
  • The Phallussar
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #482 on: 24 Jul 2009, 18:11 »

Mary Shaw kind of overreacted there. Just a little bit.
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

variable_star

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 162
    • BATTLE MASTERS!
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #483 on: 26 Jul 2009, 15:06 »

Dean Teaster's Ghost Town is the shittiest movie I've ever seen. Even the title sucks.

I have no excuse.
Logged

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,734
  • juicer
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #484 on: 27 Jul 2009, 06:04 »

So, I just saw The Spirit.  It looks pretty and neat stuff happens in it, but I cared diddly-squat for any of the characters in it.  Like, the movie probably would've been just as good without any dialogue.  Take the characters from a Michael Bay movie, squash them with Transformers, and this is how flat the characters in The Spirit are.  Sin City minus character development minus coherent presentation minus about 3/4's of the violence.
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

satsugaikaze

  • Vagina Manifesto
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 679
  • I LOVE BELL PEPPERS.
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #485 on: 27 Jul 2009, 06:20 »

Wait, how many Michael Bay films have we mentioned in this thread? =P
Logged

Ikrik

  • Asleep in the boner patch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 769
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #486 on: 27 Jul 2009, 09:18 »

The Spirit was one of the worst films I've seen in a long, long, long time.  The film didn't have a single redeeming aspect to it at all.  If I wanted to watch something that looked like Sin City I would have just popped Sin City and watched it again.  The characters aren't even cardboard cut-outs.  I hate saying it but even Samuel L Jackson was horrible in this, it's like he looked at the script and was like "DAMMMMNNN MAAAN, I can TOTALLY Ham this UP!"  Pathetic on all counts.

I'm sure I don't need to say this but Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs was one of the worst films I've ever seen in theatres.  My sister wanted go to to the theatre and she gave me the choice between that and Year One.  I probably made the right selection.  It was the worst written kids movie I've ever seen, the last Land Before Time movie I saw (probably 9 or 10) was better than this.  And the worst part, it was written by 4 people. FOUR people.  The person treated the worst by this is, by far, Queen Latifah.  She plays a pregnant mammoth who spouts out like...every stereotypical pregnant joke ever.  Simon Pegg is pretty awesome though, he plays this absolutely crazy weasel.  It might be the only reason to watch it. 
Logged

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,935
  • The Phallussar
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #487 on: 27 Jul 2009, 09:21 »

Ice age 3 wasn't that b- ok yeah I can't say that with a straight face.
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,734
  • juicer
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #488 on: 27 Jul 2009, 10:11 »

I actually kinda liked Ice Age 3, though.  Granted, it was pretty phoned in, but it was still pretty funny (as far as non-Pixar animated kids' movies go), and I thought they handled the 3-D really well.  It wasn't so much about popping out at the audience as it was giving depth to the scenery.
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

Yayniall

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,023
  • ◔ ◡ ◔
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #489 on: 27 Jul 2009, 19:15 »

Toxic Avenger: I think this has been mentioned but I'll bring it up again because, even though it's horrible, I enjoyed it quite a bit. 

     

Toxic Avenger 4 is even better.
Logged

Ikrik

  • Asleep in the boner patch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 769
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #490 on: 27 Jul 2009, 19:23 »

Toxic Avenger: I think this has been mentioned but I'll bring it up again because, even though it's horrible, I enjoyed it quite a bit. 

     

Toxic Avenger 4 is even better.

Is that the one where he goes to Japan?
what about 2 and 3?
Logged

MadassAlex

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,053
  • "Tasteful"?
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #491 on: 28 Jul 2009, 06:47 »

So I watched Six String Samurai.

It was fucking awesome. I think a bit more could've been done with the guitar duel, and for someone who wants Buddy to bow to heavy metal, Death doesn't really phrase like a metalhead. But whatever, the film itself was incredibly entertaining, like a combination of Fallout and my Gibson SG. The kid got a bit annoying after a while, though.

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter was a bit disappointing. I didn't mind the intentional shoddiness so much, I simply disliked that they didn't take the concept far enough. Jesus getting a haircut and new garb was bullshit and unnecessary, especially given the appearance of the punk rock priest at the beginning of the film. There were some hilarious moments, of course, but on the whole it felt a lot less like "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter" and a lot more like "Jesus Might Fight A Vampire Or Two, Who Knows, Maybe?"

Logged

David_Dovey

  • Nearly grown up
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8,687
  • j'accuse!
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #492 on: 28 Jul 2009, 06:59 »

Queen Latifah...every stereotypical pregnant joke ever.

Better than the typical Queen Latifah role in which she spouts every stereotypical "large black woman" joke ever.
Logged
It's a roasted cocoa bean, commonly found in vaginas.

Yayniall

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,023
  • ◔ ◡ ◔
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #493 on: 28 Jul 2009, 12:29 »

Toxic Avenger: I think this has been mentioned but I'll bring it up again because, even though it's horrible, I enjoyed it quite a bit. 

     

Toxic Avenger 4 is even better.

Is that the one where he goes to Japan?
what about 2 and 3?

2 & 3 arem't worthwhile.
4 is just a masterpiece.
Baby Diaper Bandits and Nazis, what more do you want?
Logged

knives

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 155
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #494 on: 28 Jul 2009, 22:59 »

Finally started digging into this. Totally worth it. The Karloff's are simply great in that Hammer-esque way and while the two Sci-fis weren't as fun, much prefer Fiend without a Face,  they make for some pretty good MST3K material.
Logged

Jaclyn

  • Plantmonster
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #495 on: 26 Aug 2009, 14:21 »

I took my cousin to see G-Force. There were jokes that weren't even jokes in that movie. "I'm Jeff Gordon...with fur!" That's not a joke. I don't care what you say that is not a joke at all.

5 stars. Best movie of the summer.

Also I saw Soylent Green for the first time. It was pretty mediocre.

I won't give away any spoilers, but theres something that's people.
Logged

pogonrudie

  • Balloon animal serial killer
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 96
  • Dance like a gravedigger.
Re: Terrible Movies Thread
« Reply #496 on: 26 Sep 2009, 03:24 »

Hey, I love shitty movies! This thread was made for me.

I watched Ghoulies II the other day. Didn't we learn all we needed to from Ghoulies The 1st? It sucked, just fucking awful, a real chore to sit through. Not even the creature effects were effective. When your films most entertaining aspect is a midget spouting Shakespeare, you really need to evaluate your career.
Logged
band  /  facebook  /  flixster  /  last.fm
Pages: 1 ... 8 9 [10]   Go Up