Topic: Sex and Booze Poll (Read 20316 times)

Ozymandias · « **on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:32 »

HANDS DOWN ASS UP, JAEGER

jmrz · « **Reply #1 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:37 »

Vodka, it's the only thing that I drink, it mixes well with everything and boy does it have bite (depending on which variety you get a hold of).

Sox · « **Reply #2 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:38 »

I once dated a girl that was half vodka, half tequila. She seemed really exotic, but she was boring in the sack.

Alex C · « **Reply #3 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:40 »

I <3 brandy.

...but to be honest, gin 'n' tonic is growing on me...

Lines · « **Reply #4 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:41 »

Why is the rum always gone?

...Oh. That's why.

michaelicious · « **Reply #5 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:42 »

Why does Scotch get its own option, but not Bourbon?

Hat · « **Reply #6 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:42 »

ALL OF THEM

Slick · « **Reply #7 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:43 »

Abstain until bourbon.

sean · « **Reply #8 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:48 »

I'd fuck the shit outta whiskey or vodka.

I was also like to complain about the lack of absinthe mentioned. I would fuck absinthe too.

Lines · « **Reply #9 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:49 »

Quote from: Objects inside Clouds on 03 Mar 2008, 18:48

I would fuck the green fairy too.

Skibas_clavicle · « **Reply #10 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:53 »

Jim Beam is one sexy motherfucker.

David_Dovey · « **Reply #11 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 18:59 »

I'd fuck Beer but I'd have to get a whiskey dick to do it.

littlelove · « **Reply #12 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 19:14 »

I'd definitely tear into vodka!
she's pretty, and looks great when mixed. You can take her out anywhere, she has nice viscosity. And she's darned tastey!

calenlass · « **Reply #13 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 19:18 »

Quote from: Slick on 03 Mar 2008, 18:43

Abstain until bourbon.

Darkbluerabbit · « **Reply #14 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 19:41 »

I have spent way too much time thinking about this and assigning personalities to the various kinds of booze. I think brand should come into play. For example, you might be okay nailing Grey Goose, but imagine fucking a human embodiment of Fleischmann's would end in tears and STDs.

Alex C · « **Reply #15 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 19:44 »

Man, Dr. McGillicuddy would be like the skankiest homewrecker of the entire alcohol world. Every time I hear a story about some old retirement age guy doing something tremendously stupid like getting hit by a car while driving a lawnmower on the freeway it always seems like cheap schnapps was involved.

Boro_Bandito · « **Reply #16 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 19:52 »

God it goes down harsh, but when all is said and done I'd rather be with Whiskey than with any other girl out there, especially since Rum is some dude in drag. If there would be anyone I'd consider cheating on this girl with It'd be vodka, because Russian girls are hot.

BrittanyMarie · « **Reply #17 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 19:59 »

Oh deer blood. I would love you forever and ever. I understand that you are a trendy drink now, but I like you all by yourself. You are the toughest of drinks! When I turned 16, what did my dad and my uncle force me to take a shot of since I was "pretty much an adult"? YOU! When I was out snowmobiling, what was there to warm me up? YOU! When hunting, and I am forced to walk the sloughs and shelterbelts, who was it that I turned to to when I said fine, but I need a shot first? YOU! Oh jag, you have always been there for me, and if you were a man, you would be the manliest man, all killin' bears and shit with a red flannel jacket and a beard with a smile on your face the whole time.

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #18 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:04 »

Whiskey, but only if she has on the Johnny Walker hat.....and maybe the coat

Storm Rider · « **Reply #19 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:05 »

Isn't this a rather obtuse way of saying what your favorite alcohol is?

Inlander · « **Reply #20 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:11 »

I'd fuck beer, but I'd be thinking about whisky.

tania · « **Reply #21 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:12 »

i'm not sure, there is a pretty big difference between what alcohol i tend to drink and what alcohol i'd actually fuck, were said alcohol a real human person.

i am pretty down with vodka because it mixes well with nearly everything and i've never had anything resembling a bad experience when drinking it. i do love bourbon though. bourbon is incredibly sexy. if a real nice bourbon were somehow a human being and walked into my room i'd probably have it naked and in my bed before it had a chance to explain itself.

IronOxide · « **Reply #22 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:16 »

Quote from: Inlander on 03 Mar 2008, 20:11

I'd fuck beer, but I'd be thinking about whisky.

I'd call this a good idea, as I bet Whisky has a big 2d2f problem.

RedLion · « **Reply #23 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:17 »

Vodka.

Stolichnaya, preferably.

BrittanyMarie · « **Reply #24 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:17 »

Yeah, I mean I think bourbon is the most delicious, but if bourbon was a person (if it was a GOOD bourbon), I would think it was too classy for me. He would be a southern gentleman, which is good for marrying but not for fuckin'. Jag is the rough and tumble outdoorsman type, vodka would probably be a Sweet Dude, and rum would be the guy you're not sure if he is gay or straight.

Inlander · « **Reply #25 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:22 »

Quote from: IronOxide on 03 Mar 2008, 20:16

Quote from: Inlander on 03 Mar 2008, 20:11
I'd fuck beer, but I'd be thinking about whisky.

I'd call this a good idea, as I bet Whisky has a big 2d2f problem.

No, it's just I know whisky's out of my league.

IronOxide · « **Reply #26 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:25 »

I guess what I am trying to say is that I would not put my dick in goldschlager if someone paid me.

0bsessions · « **Reply #27 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:29 »

Quote from: Storm Rider on 03 Mar 2008, 20:05

Isn't this a rather obtuse way of saying what your favorite alcohol is?

Not necessarily. My favorite liquor is far and away whiskey, but in terms of if it were a person? Whiskey's strong, bitter and can turn on you in a second if you're not careful. That's not what I want in a woman. Whiskey is the kind of drink that would steal your wallet and leave you with an STD.

I think I would fuck Smirnoff Ice or something like that. It's weak, shallow and easy on the tongue. It's not something you want your friends to see you with, but you had some fun anyway.

jhocking · « **Reply #28 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:32 »

Quote from: ephemere on 03 Mar 2008, 20:12

i'm not sure, there is a pretty big difference between what alcohol i tend to drink and what alcohol i'd actually fuck, were said alcohol a real human person.

I like Guiness, but I definitely don't want to have sex with it. Conversely, while I have no interest in this as a drink, martinis are pretty sexy.

Although, my favorite liquor is rum, and I think I'd wish I had the balls to hit on daquiri, so maybe it can be one in the same...

So in conclusion, I am most sexually attracted to mixed drinks.

supersheep · « **Reply #29 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:41 »

I would definitely sleep with Buckfast. Cheap, cheerful, and lots of energy.

Lunchbox · « **Reply #30 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:45 »

I would bang Blue Curaceo because he would be fun and slightly effeminate.

Leonidas · « **Reply #31 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:45 »

I'm not really a big drinker, but I voted for rum. Specifically Sailor Jerry Rum.

I'm currently enjoying a glass as I write.

Inlander · « **Reply #32 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:46 »

Quote from: jhocking on 03 Mar 2008, 20:32

So in conclusion, I am most sexually attracted to mixed drinks.

Read: bi-curious.

clockworkjames · « **Reply #33 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:47 »

I drink alot of beer and rum, but to bone I would go with sambuca personified, imagine it in bed!

Rawr!

TheFuriousWombat · « **Reply #34 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:51 »

Wine in human form would be sexy and sophisticated. She'd totally listen to jazz and read Borges. It would be awesome.

rancidhooligan · « **Reply #35 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:53 »

Scotch, scotch, scotchitty scotch.

I love scotch.

I like my scotch like I like my women... and the scotch I drink is Glenlivet 12 year old.

Ah, ha-ha-ha... child molestation jokes never get old. Except they do... I think I hear Chris Hansen knocking at my door.

Seriously, though, I'd prefer to drink Glenlivet 18 but I usually "settle" for the 12, since it's less expensive and almost as good.

Blended "scotch" is crap, by the way. Single malt all the way.

Jposh · « **Reply #36 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:54 »

No Kahlua?

I dig them thar' exotics

Edit: If Vodka was a girl, it would probably have been around a time or two, and know a few tricks, so if nobody finds out, Vodka.

jhocking · « **Reply #37 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:56 »

Quote from: Inlander on 03 Mar 2008, 20:46

Quote from: jhocking on 03 Mar 2008, 20:32
So in conclusion, I am most sexually attracted to mixed drinks.

Read: bi-curious.

And by "mixed drinks" I meant a virgin Shirley Temple.

TheFuriousWombat · « **Reply #38 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 20:56 »

Quote from: rancidhooligan on 03 Mar 2008, 20:53

Blended "scotch" is crap, by the way. Single malt all the way.

Racist.

IronOxide · « **Reply #39 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 21:06 »

Quote from: jhocking on 03 Mar 2008, 20:56

Quote from: Inlander on 03 Mar 2008, 20:46
Quote from: jhocking on 03 Mar 2008, 20:32
So in conclusion, I am most sexually attracted to mixed drinks.

Read: bi-curious.
And by "mixed drinks" I meant a virgin Shirley Temple.

Fuck you, Shirley Temples are awesome.

TheFuriousWombat · « **Reply #40 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 21:09 »

Quote from: IronOxide on 03 Mar 2008, 21:06

Shirley Temples are awesome.

The truth was never more clearly writ.

Darkbluerabbit · « **Reply #41 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 21:13 »

Where I come from we call Shirley Temples "Kiddie Cocktails," which sounds really gross and makes me want to cower in a corner.

I think of Vodka as your average college aged party kid. It gets the job done, sometimes, but it has little unique flavor and usually winds up making you feel cheaper in the morning.

I talk a lot about vodka because I have consumed a lot of vodka in my day. This has been a mistake, I now realize.

I have also consumed a lot of whiskey, but I have few complaints when it comes to whiskey. I would bone whiskey. It's been around the block and knows a few tricks, and if you aren't careful it will ruin your life, which makes it all the more interesting.

I'd settle down with wine. We'd have one of those relationships where we live together for decades, but never have children or get married.

I am not drunk right now I swear*.

*lying

jhocking · « **Reply #42 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 21:22 »

Quote from: IronOxide on 03 Mar 2008, 21:06

Fuck you, Shirley Temples are awesome.

I think you slightly completely missed what I was joking about.

IronOxide · « **Reply #43 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 21:23 »

I get what you were implying, I am just saying that you do not need to be ashamed of drinking a shirley temple and if you are embarrassed to be seen doing so, then you are no friend of mine.

jhocking · « **Reply #44 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 21:44 »

Try reading my post literally; note that I didn't say anything about drinking.

dennis · « **Reply #45 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 22:08 »

Brandy. She's like wine, but distilled.

Fletch · « **Reply #46 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 22:40 »

I voted schnapps (peach

) but I'd go for Guinness, too.

This thread is making me thirsty.

Boro_Bandito · « **Reply #47 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 22:40 »

And plus Brandy's already a name. But I chose Whiskey because while I do indeed enjoy my whiskey sours and my 4 in a row shot races, I've seen a lot more action in drinking with cheap cheap Vodka, jungle juice and Natty Light (the horrors of college parties).

Whiskey to me though personified would be that hot wild southern party girl from Tenessee, not a far cry from Christina Ricci's character in Black Snake Moan, with less on the drugs and child rape by father and more on just the binge drinking.

Bringing up Tequila in the conversation because I feel she's underrepresented, she's more like that deceptively cute Mexican girl, who according to some stories has an allure over men and coercises them into ever escalating acts of stupidity, even though I've never had such an encounter.

Tactical Error · « **Reply #48 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 22:59 »

I'd have to go with old No. 7, she's been a good friend through the years. I admit I was tempted by a few tequilas back in high-school though.

KibBen · « **Reply #49 on:** 03 Mar 2008, 23:00 »

Gin..... but bourbon is a close second. Specifically, bourbon manhattans. I die for a good bourbon manhattan.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Poll

Which alcohol would you fuck, were it a human?

Author Topic: Sex and Booze Poll (Read 20316 times)

rancidhooligan

Fletch