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[Jackie Blue]

Tom Ewing now writes for Pitchfork.  That is a good thing; his reviews are clever, well-written and insightful.  But that's not the point.

The point is that, after the bizarre thrashing they gave Maserati's excellent Inventions For the New Season last year (4.4?  Really?) today they solidify their backlash-loving pop-and-rap cockgobbling nature with a dismal 5.2 for Silver Mt. Zion's 13 Blues For Thirteen Moons, which is still my favourite album of the year and easily my favourite from said band - while at the same time, giving a mysterious pity 7.5 to the absolutely dire new Bauhaus album.

I didn't click on the Gnarls Barkley review but I'm sure they gave it a 9.1 or some shit.

[E. Spaceman]

The joke is that the poster does not agree with a music reviews website.

[coldenginelogic]

Sounds like someone needs to bookmark:
http://www.dustedmagazine.com/reviews/

Were any of the pitchfork reviewers even alive when the good Bauhaus Lp's were released?

[Jackie Blue]

It's not that I don't agree with them - I read reviews all the time that I don't agree with yet can still concede they make valid points.  It's that, as bad as we all thought PFork was a few years ago, it just keeps getting worse.  I am honestly amazed at how bad and how extensive this trend has become.  By now they are such a large and well-known site they could at least hire writers who don't like an album but also don't devolve into parody in the review (and also don't get their facts wrong: the Silver Mt. Zion review claimed that vocals were "prominently" featured on their first two albums, when in fact, the first album had one song with vocals and the second had two - three if you count a short spoken-word piece).

I mean how many reviews start out with "I remember the first time I saw this band..." and include, at some point, "Of course, the apex of their career were those albums they churned out inbetween gigs sleeping on the floor of anyone who would let them pass out there after the show..."

Answer: A whole fucking lot.

[morca007]

Man fuck music reviews in general, they are a dumb idea.

[karl gambolputty...]

Thing is, Pitchfork isn't really a music review website anymore.  It's an online fashion magazine, and Silver Mt. Zion and Maserati just aren't in this season. 

They still have pretty cool interviews and columns, and once in a while a fashionable band just happens to be really fucking good, but the score has nothing to do with the music.

[coldenginelogic]

Man fuck music reviews in general, they are a dumb idea.

Tell that to any struggling band in the back of a van who wont make any money on tour unless someone spends dough on merch....In a cerebral way I agree that reviews are a fucking dumb idea but we live in a technological driven society which affords us multiple avenues  in which to discover new music-but as someone who has starved for the sake of art a decent review or gossip blip can be the difference between the salsa packet for dinner or a burrito with salsa...just my 2 cents

[Clobbersaurus]

i like tinymixtapes.com

they seem quite reasonable and fun, as in, they don't have giant turds up their asses half the time.

[Thrillho]

Here's the four reasons I quit Pitchfork:
Actually two of them have been taken down, one of which was the Wilco review where the writer said 'this isn't usually my kind of thing,' and another of which was the review of Flaming Lips' Zaireeka where they gave it to someone with only one CD player, and he promptly gave it a bad review because he couldn't listen to it properly. Prick.
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/17454-the-eminem-show
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/19343-imagine-digitally-remastered-and-remixed

[Jackie Blue]

Thing is, Pitchfork isn't really a music review website anymore.  It's an online fashion magazine, and Silver Mt. Zion and Maserati just aren't in this season.

Exactly my point, but the distressing thing is that their core younger fanbase actually pays attention to the reviews as though they are reasonably objective (like they admittedly used to be).

They used to at least let people familiar with genres/bands review albums that fit those styles (and still do, in the case of Tom Ewing, whose review of the new Britney Spears album was incredibly well-done).

Now it seems like they just randomly throw albums at people who have never really listened to, or wanted to listen to, the genre or band in question.  That they get away with it is poor journalism at best.

(DynamiteKid - Yeah, they gave Zaireeka a 0.0)

[amok]

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/17454-the-eminem-show

I usually really enjoy reading pitchfork but what the fuck is this shit.

Someone post the Kid A and Jet reviews, they have to be in every Pitchfork thread.

I'd give Zaireeka a 0.0 without having heard a single note, mind. That's just retarded.

I liked the one for the new Radiohead album where you could put in your own rating and then it was like "haha no seriously, it's 9.2" or something.

[Daft pun]

Rating "Do You Like Rock Music?" with an U.2 is just dumb. Fuckers.

i like tinymixtapes.com

they seem quite reasonable and fun, as in, they don't have giant turds up their asses half the time.

Tiny Mix Tapes = awesome.

[Mister Arkadin]

I thought the Jet review was excellent.
( http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/38853-shine-on )
Other than that, Pitchfork is shit.

[coldenginelogic]

i like tinymixtapes.com

they seem quite reasonable and fun, as in, they don't have giant turds up their asses half the time.

tinymixtapes is great but part of the greatness comes from the fact that they seem to be fans of most of the music they cover-which it has been pointed out-that pitchfork used to be.  I think pitchfork suffers from anything that gets to be the pinnacle of hipster, usually a corporate entity swoops in and presses different- limitations on what will be covered.  I am not sure of the median age of this board but I am sure plenty of you witnessed this with your local radio growing up--you can be in any major city in America and hear the selected and approved version of what Clear Channel wants the kids to buy--all the more reason for kids to start listening to people like Lessig and his ideals of free culture so that we can all stop having to endure the bland homogenization of surface culture and continue to push boundaries for the cream of art to raise to the top

[morca007]

Man fuck music reviews in general, they are a dumb idea.

Tell that to any struggling band in the back of a van who wont make any money on tour unless someone spends dough on merch....In a cerebral way I agree that reviews are a fucking dumb idea but we live in a technological driven society which affords us multiple avenues  in which to discover new music-but as someone who has starved for the sake of art a decent review or gossip blip can be the difference between the salsa packet for dinner or a burrito with salsa...just my 2 cents

I'm not saying they aren't necessary right now, but I pay no attention to reviews, I learn about music solely from people I know saying "Hey, I just listened to this, it was pretty good."

[pilsner]

I'd like to start the following petition:  every time someone writes "Pitchfork" on this forum, the word is replaced with "coprophilia."  We can do this, people.

[Jackie Blue]

I actually got a good laugh out of that Eminem review, especially the jabs at Scheiber.

Plus, I think that album does deserve a 9 or so.  Solid.

[pinkpiche]

I don't think Pitchfork's reviewers are terribly bad, it's just that they manage to talk about everything but the record in question. I don't want to read pseudo-non-fictioustousshitbagfuck from some obnoxious retard who's having a bad day.

Btw. giving Zaireeka a 0.0 was a baaaaaad idea. Zaireeka is the fucking bomb.

[Patrick]

I'd like to start the following petition:  every time someone writes "Pitchfork" on this forum, the word is replaced with "coprophilia."  We can do this, people.

You. I like you. Let's hang out.

[KvP]

This is why Pitchfork annoys me.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

what the fuck was that? i was waiting for a review but it wouldn't come so i scrolled ahead and found none.

so i promptly stopped reading and vowed to never go to that website again or even so much as mention it aloud for any reason.

[Jackie Blue]

Another gem of a "review" that tells you almost nothing:

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/15304-ion-the-ellipsei

And that's from '03, so there is really no excuse.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

GODDAMN IT YOU TRICKED ME

here i was, thinking "i'll never go to that website again" and then before i realized what was happening i was reading a big pile of bullshit.

fuck.

[imapiratearg]

This is why Pitchfork annoys me.

Is it just supposed to make it appear like your browser is loading the page for ever and ever?

[Patrick]

Another gem of a "review" that tells you almost nothing:

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/15304-ion-the-ellipsei

And that's from '03, so there is really no excuse.

Wait so you start the 3465457th thread on this same fucking topic, regarding how much Pitchfork sucks, giving one new reason as to why they suck, and saying how it's different from their normal amount of suck, and then you post a 5-year-old review that is pretty much the exact same thing, but older?

Dude just go outside.

[KvP]

This is why Pitchfork annoys me.

Is it just supposed to make it appear like your browser is loading the page for ever and ever?

Works for me :\

[Jackie Blue]

Wait so you start the 3465457th thread on this same fucking topic, regarding how much Pitchfork sucks, giving one new reason as to why they suck, and saying how it's different from their normal amount of suck, and then you post a 5-year-old review that is pretty much the exact same thing, but older?

Dude just go outside.

So you make the 7497937th post about how "zerodrone is stupid" even though ten other people did the same thing I did (post examples of old reviews that soured them on the site)?

I think you need to go outside too.  Dude.

[Patrick]

I never said you were stupid, I just said I'm sick and tired of seeing a billion threads about Pitchfork that never say anything new. Shit, there have been a billion PARODY threads about how "Pitchfork sucks" threads are fucking retarded. There have been parody threads of the parody threads, I have seen it done.

Seriously guys bitching about Pitchfork isn't cool anymore and hasn't been for years.

[Jackie Blue]

OK, you didn't say I was "stupid", but you singled me out.  Most people in the thread seem to be getting a kick out of bitching about Pitchfork and sharing their examples.  If you don't like it, that's cool.  If I posted in every thread on here that I thought was stupid I'd have... well, about as many posts as you, by now.

[Patrick]

It's a list thread. List threads are stupid.

[Jackie Blue]

It's a list thread. List threads are stupid.

So stop posting in it.

tommy, you can jolly well toss off, too.

Christ, the old boys club on this board makes the RNC look like a drum circle.

[Tom]

They still have pretty cool interviews and columns, and once in a while a fashionable band just happens to be really fucking good, but the score has nothing to do with the music.

That is the only reason I still go there.

Yeah, Pitchfork likes to follow trends and shit but something interesting is bound to always pop up. The reviews are almost like a separate entity to the news and columns. It's a rare album that unifies critics because everyone is subjective or prejudiced to some degree, it's entirely unavoidable. Such an attitude effects every piece of writing and just as news journalists can be racists, music reporters can be genre-ists.

[Jackie Blue]

On topic - I don't particularly like Pitchfork and I've done an equal amount of moaning about it in the past. Over the last year or so, I just deleted the bookmark and stopped going. Since then, I've been completely apathetic to this site among others. Some other people I know just read the headlines and skip the reviews. Why not try something like that?

I feel that it is important to occasionally point out the glaring flaws in Pitchfork because, believe it or not, a lot of people don't see them right away and actually pay attention to what their reviews say and which albums they say you should or shouldn't buy.

In that way, it is necessary to point out their stupidity - and keep up with it - in the same way it is necessary to point out, and keep up with, the stupidity of major record labels or especially repulsive politicians.  "Just ignore it" is not a philosophy I think applies to everything I don't like.

[Jackie Blue]

Anecdotal evidence, tommy.  100% anecdotal.  I'm betting you don't even know a single "average Pitchfork reader".

I'm just hedging my bets.

To continue the political example: Most freedom-lovin' liberal-Democrats in this country are already going to vote Democrat in the next election.  Does that mean that the bad things said or done by George Bush or right-wing pundits should just be "ignored"?  I don't think so.

After all, this is just a forum.  If even one person gets from this thread that Pitchfork are a bunch of taste-making douchelords, it's a good thing.  If nobody gets anything at all from this thread, well, you can say that about 90% of the threads on the board, so why meta-argue against the existance of it when it is at least A) On topic and B) not spam?  It's not like that atrocious-turned-hilarious "Musicals suck!" thread.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

"Just ignore it" is not a philosophy I think applies to everything I don't like.

i think ignoring it is valid advice. that's what i do and i'm the happiest person i know.
the only reason i've ever heard the word "pitchfork" used outside of farming is because of you guys.

why get so worked up about something that doesn't directly affect you and is only a part of your life because you allow it to be?

[Jackie Blue]

My life is the music scene.  Pitchfork is a part of the music scene.  Therefore Pitchfork is, like it or not, a part of my life in at least a tangential sense.

Also, you're making the extremely common mistake in assuming that every time someone posts on the Internet they are "worked up".

[Patrick]

"Just ignore it" is not a philosophy I think applies to everything I don't like.

Funny, weren't you just telling me 30 minutes ago that I didn't have to post in this thread if I didn't like it? Isn't that a way of saying "Just ignore it"?

[Jackie Blue]

Funny, weren't you just telling me 30 minutes ago that I didn't have to post in this thread if I didn't like it? Isn't that a way of saying "Just ignore it"?

Yes, it is.  Which is why I said, at the same time, that I don't post in every thread I don't like.  Take some reading comprehension lessons or something and notice that I said "Just ignore it" is not something that applies to everything I don't like.

I don't think you pissing in my Cheerios has even a slim possibility of doing any good in your life or mine, which is why I think you should just let it go and post about something else.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

Also, you're making the extremely common mistake in assuming that every time someone posts on the Internet they are "worked up".

sorry, i don't really know what being 'worked up' is like so i always assume people are pissed if they are speaking negatively about something, when they are really just a little annoyed.

i only have two moods: "apathetic" and "stoked" so anything that falls into the negative category is fairly alien to me.

[karl gambolputty...]

[Patrick]

Take some reading comprehension lessons

[IronOxide]

Jesus tits, is it this time of month again?

Can we have an announcement on top that says "WE KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE PITCHFORK, SHUT THE BALLS UP ABOUT IT?"

[WriterofAllWrongs]

Pitchfork is about as useless to the music scene as this argument is to the music forum.

[MusicScribbles]

I understand that the previous poster might have said something arguement worthy, but really guys. I think Karl's post says what we need to do here the best.

[Patrick]

Jesus tits, is it this time of month again?

Can we have an announcement on top that says "WE KNOW YOU DON'T LIKE PITCHFORK, SHUT THE BALLS UP ABOUT IT?"

I propose that we make that the subtitle for "Music Talk" on the main forum page instead of "HAEV U HERD OF TIHS BAND CALD SLINT???"

[Jackie Blue]

And obviously bitching about bitching about Pitchfork is so much more worthwhile.

It's OK, I know it makes you feel like you have big dicks to pile on me for starting a Pitchfork thread.  I realise it gives you a sense of righteousness to have everyone on the board agree with you that I'm a fucktard for writing about the P4.  Mob mentality feels good.  I understand, I really do.  I'm not here to win popularity contests by posting image macros showcasing how clever I am or ganging up on someone so I can feel as though my message board pedigree is in the top of my class.

[Patrick]

Oh noes, people agree on something, this means they're not only an unoriginal hivemind of "me too"ism, they're also big fat ugly bullies!

Chill out and stop your A BLOO BLOO BLOO bullshit, you're just hurting your position by making lame attacks on our credibility.

[Jackie Blue]

I'm not attacking your "credibility", I'm just saying that I genuinely understand why people feel good about ganging up in a massive bitchfest because they think a thread is unneccessary.  I also think you're being a dick and getting away with it because you've been here a long time.

Apparently I have not been here long enough to be a dick and get away with it.

[Jackie Blue]

I didn't actually comment on whether or not this was a bad thread, I just said that I decided to ignore Pitchfork for similar reasons and it works.

I realised that a while ago and thus have not been referring to you.  Apologies if you thought I was.

[MusicScribbles]

I have no problem with your thread zerodrone. I just saw arguing, and it made me sad, because it is very angry arguing. Karl's macro is less a criticism of you and your thread and more a blow to the conduct of everyone posting hate mail here. I agree with you that this is a topic worth discussing and that people shouldn't come in here just to tell you that you're being whiny (I do not mean to misquote anyone. For lack of a better spur-of-the-moment word, whiny is now part of the sentence.).