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[blaha 41]

Mine have been on my mind a great deal lately, and it's been making me wonder about how normal v. weird they were. I thought hearing about it from other people might be helpful/comforting/shocking. What were your parents like?

Mother: A chemical engineer whose affection was awkward to the point that hugs usually meant something was wrong. She wasn't a super genius, but she was intrepid in her approach to problems both intellectual and emotional. She didn't have any rules for the house, and instead chose to spoil us early in life and then verbally make us feel guilty about any pleasure we took from her spoiling... so much that my little brother has been known to return presents from family members to give the money back to the giver.

Father: supply chain/ 6 sigma guy who sends jobs to mexico/brazil for a living. he always wanted my little brother and I to excel at sports and anything macho, but neither of us turned out anything like that. He grew up working class, and my mom's father offered to buy her a house in exchange for not marrying my dad.

Yada yada yada...  Now I have almost all female friends and can't accept a romantic relationships with any woman/girl who likes me as a person instead of for my (non)accomplishments. I'm a "writer" now (and work an odd job to pay most of my bills), and I think i've let both of them down even though I despise what both of them imagined for me, and last summer my mom had a massive stroke after she told me she thought I was stupid for being anything but an investment banker... SWEET!

[NarwhalSunshine]

My dad is/was a drill sergeant but he was gone most of the time until I was 14. He's tough on my brothers and me but anyone messes with his family and they are pretty much fucked. I can only remember three times he told me he loves me, when he left for Iraq, when he came home and once just randomly while we were watching tv.
My mom came from a rough family so she lets us get away with anything. She also won't leave the house or hang up the phone unless she's told us she loves us.

[Uber Ritter]

Both of my parents have actually done a pretty good job, and I don't just say that because I'm egotistical.

Mom: Somewhat sensitive, socially anxious statistician that still dislikes contentious talk, yelling or argument of any kind.  Raising me was probably kinda hard as a result of the last one, but she did a pretty decent job, all things considered, a fact that I appreciate more as I mature.

Dad: Probably the most patient guy I know.  Never told us that he cared for us, didn't need to.  Dealt with two rather off-the-wall kids and a wife that was probably not the best equipped to be a mother to two off-the-wall kids.  He's probably given me my rather unconventional understanding of masculinity, since he's about as unaggressive and as nurturing a guy as can be imagined.  Works as an economist for the US Department of Housing and Urban Development. 

Because my mom is a statistician who mostly works in Econometrics, I like telling people that I was raised by two adepts in the Dismal Science.

Generally, both parents have refrained from passive-aggressive mindfucking, emotional outbursts, overly prescriptive expectations about career or marriage or whatever, etc., so I am rather unable to advise others on how to deal with their rather less fair-minded parental units.  Rather than giving me a universal respect for parents in general, having two decent ones have made me rather frustrated with less than perfect ones and not really seeing why children owe such fathers and mothers filial obligations (as Locke says with such impious logic, children are obliged to love their parents in proportion to how well their parents have treated them).  It has also made me wonder if I'd be able to actually be a good father (compared to my own) and thus whether I should have kids.

[KvP]

I think my parents did their damnedest, which isn't to say they always made the right choices, but they always had the best of intentions. When I was younger, I really resented them, but that was just youth. I'm getting older now and like a lot of people I know, I'm appreciating my parents more and more every day. It helps that they continue to support me, and from the sound of it, they don't plan on stopping anytime soon so long as I continue to put effort into school.

Mom's from Mississippi, other people seem to think she's easygoing but she was always pretty imperious when I was a kid. I clashed with her a lot, obviously. Used to be a nurse, retired to raise my brother and I. Now that my brother's growing into high school age she'll probably start volunteering at homeless shelters in Denver.

Dad's a doctor, a rheumatologist, to be specific. He's a quiet sort of person. I don't know all that much about him, really, which sort of bothers me. It's only been recently that I've realized how alike we are in some ways. We have the same mannerisms and we're both not very social, but he's obviously a much, much more dedicated person than I am. Probably came with growing up without a father.

[thegreatbuddha]

My mother works as a psychologist, but she mostly just tries to use my sister and I to antagonize my father. They've been divorced for two decades or so, and as far as I can tell her driving goal in life is still to cause him as much pain as possible. The woman saw me as a tool to hurt her ex-husband with, and a monthly paycheck. I haven't spoken to her since I was emancipated, and don't plan on seeing her until her funeral, just to make sure she's not fucking with me.

My father is a better parent by comparison. Not really his fault I suppose, but he was never around when I was young. He tried to be, but my mother would block visitation every chance she got. We see each other more now that I'm an adult, bu we're not really close. I honestly feel sorry for the man, getting robbed out of being there for his children. I suspect he's a little off his rocker. If he misses a traffic light, he's been known to yell at Jesus about it.

[squawk]

My parents are extreme FOBs who came here from the Philippines in the '70s and they are super fantastic. My mom is a nurse and my dad is a doctor so there are a lot of fun medical-related things 'round the house. Like alcohol pads!
I am the youngest, though, and my oldest sibling is nearing 30 years old, so they are pretty old as well (dad 59 and mom 55). I am worrying that my mom is starting to get a bit senile.

[Eris]

My parents are both teachers (though my father is medically retired) and in my early school years I was taught by both of them. Both my brother and I learned from a young age to separate the teachers from the parents, to the degree that I would tell my teacher (my dad) what I did on the weekend with my father. They were both handy in primary school when I had homework to do, but also would make sure I did it. They had taught in the area I grew up in for about 20 years before we moved, so they knew all the teachers around there, so they would have plenty of funny stories about our teachers.

My mother is a little overbearing; we always have to let her know when we are travelling that we got to our destination safely, and ring her to let her know we are on our way home. She claims "mother's rights" when we get annoyed that she doesn't trust us to do things for ourselves, so we just go along with her to cause less fuss. I got my temper from her, and so did my brother, so we know how to deal with each other when we get mad. She and my brother are very similar in terms of personalities, so they argue a lot and I am left to either stop them or hide until they storm off. We are pretty close, though; I would go and talk to her for at least an hour every day after work when I lived at home.

I am a lot like my dad, which is a bit worrying at times. When I was younger he would take me for walks up in the hills near where we lived, rather than my brother, who would prefer to stay at home (like mum). He and I are both good at gardening, and kind of understand how our pets tick a bit better than the other two, I think. I don't really understand how I can see my cat getting annoyed while my mother can't, but that seems to be how it ends up. He is the kind of person who doesn't particularly like to go out a lot, preferring to stay at home, which I can relate to. Some things I think I learned off him, like my penchant for having things be straight (he has an obsessive compulsive personality, so he has a lot of little quirks like that). I do worry that seeing as I am so similar to him, that some of his negative personality traits are going to be cause for concern to me, but I think that because I have noticed them in him I know to avoid certain things. I love him dearly, but he has made some decisions that were not the best, for himself orour family. I don't see him very often, which is kind of a good thing.

[Jimmy the Squid]

My mother is an immigrant from Sri Lanka. My grandfather (her father) owned a big tea plantation in Columbo and the family was fairly rich (read: Old Money). A result of this is that my mum never really got over the loss of that privledged life and is essentially an extremely arrogant, narrow-minded and immature person. So immature in fact that she really only married my father to get back at her ex-boyfriend. She got custody of my brother and I after they got divorced (I was about 18 months at that point, my brother tells me that I was a last ditch attempt to save the marriage) and basically tried to systematically train us to hate our father which very almost worked.
She is a very strict Catholic and is also very into the whole guilt thing about it, attempting to coerce her children into doing things for her because she fulfilled her responsibilities as a parent and we should feel terrible about ruining her life. Most recently she has been coming to terms with my Atheism by telling me I am an awful son and that it is very sad that I am going to be burning in Hell while she and all our family will be having a great time in Heaven. She kicked me out when I was 16 and I've tried to keep contact to a minimum since then. We don't get on very well but we've both been putting in an extra effort to be nice to each other. When it comes down to it I don't hate her, I just don't love her as I'm told a son should love his mother. I feel sorry for her because she is a very lonely person as a direct result of her being pretty unbearable.

My father is a little odd. His family came here from Hungary, escaping the Russian invasion (literally running across the border while being shot at by soldiers) and were very strict. He didn't do as well as he would have liked to at school and ended up doing a Business Degree part time while working three jobs and trying to raise his two sons so it was and is very important for my brother and I to do well academically, get good jobs and be successfull. I'm not entirely sure what he does for a living but essentially he is a  Regional Sales Manager at a company that makes and sells the chemicals that go into certain things. At anyrate his job is Rather Boring and he prefers to play golf on the weekends. He is very conservative and has never really agreed with how I or my brother choose to dress but he has always been fair, more or less.
He's very clean, I remember when we were small he used to tell us how to eat our ice cream cones so we didn't drip any on our hands or get any on our faces and his house is indescribably spotless. For all that he is really very warm and loving, always willing to help us out with advice or money or anything. Of all the possible patriarchal figures I could have had in my life he is definitely one of them, and a reasonably good one at that. I moved in with him and his wife when my mum kicked me out and my mental health and wellbeing improved a lot because of it. He can be a little pompous and condescending at times, especially when he's in a bad mood but behind that is a genuine concern for our well-being.

My Stepmum is probably one of the loveliest people I know. For as long as I can remember she has been with my dad and has always treated my brother and myself as her own children. She is just as much of a clean-freak as my dad is and is always bustling about the house dusting this and polishing that and reminding us that there is food in the fridge if we are hungry. She can be a bit strange sometimes, like her belief that cows milk is just as good for children as human milk, but she is kind, caring and generally a good person. As far as I'm concerned she is my mother, whereas my mum is my Actual Mother. Basically if I refer to my parents I am referring to my dad and my stepmum. 

[Hat]

Drunk as shit

[ruyi]

Didn't we have a thread like this semi-recently? Maybe it wasn't so recent. Ah well.

My mom is a nurse and my dad is a doctor so there are a lot of fun medical-related things 'round the house. Like alcohol pads!

Same here! My mom's a nurse. We get like, everything from the hospital...washcloths, basins, AA batteries, sponges, trash bags, tissues, scalpels, gauze, etc. When I was little she used to give me baths in betadine scrub (number two.)

Anyways...my parents are divorced since I was about 3, and not amicably so. My mom (who I've always lived with) is actually a very sweet, mellow person normally. You know, a cute short Chinese lady. Simply dressed and very frugal. But she has a major incapacity to trust people to the point of warning me that all my male friends are capable of rape, so it's a little difficult to deal with her incredible paranoia. Also various stress-type things gave her a temper sometimes but she's getting over that now.

I have a harder time figuring out my dad because I don't spend as much time with him. He grew up on a farm in the Midwest and now he's an old philosophy professor, so he's long-winded and absent-minded. He can be simultaneously perceptive of human nature and utterly blind to his own behavior. He makes a good friend but he's not really cut out to have a family. Also, he has consistently shit relationships. I joke about getting yellow fever from him, but really, it's ridiculous.

[Switchblade]

Both my parents are doctors (Mum's a general practitioner and Dad's an Orthopedic Consultant) and they're very alike. They're both supportive, loving, incredibly intelligent, and have never tried to "decide" how my sister's life and mine should go - they figure those decisions are ours to make. They've backed us in whatever we want to do, been advisors and confidants to both of us throughout our lives, and I love them both to bits.

about the only noticeable differences between them is that Dad's a fair bit goofier and surreal of wit than Mum, and perhaps a little less talkative.

[hannahrochelle]

My parents are reasonably laidback, semi-conservative and still married 22 years later. Dad works in telephony at the local college and Mum is a part-time worker at Australia Post. Dad is 43 and Mum is 48. I love them both dearly, but only now that I'm 20, my mum has started caring about who I decide to date D: Dad's fine, though... Thank goodness for one level-headed parent.

I get my silly sense of humour and slow-burning temper from Dad, and my looks from Mum. <3

[tania]

terrifyingly insane

[jhocking]

My dad is a good dad. Like, he instilled in me a respect for knowledge, taught me many things, and never really tried to dictate my life or indoctrinate me in his extremely Republican views. This is an interesting point that I've ruminated on with increasing frequency, because he wasn't a great husband. I mean, my mom is a bit of a nutter (eg. she's controlling and emotionally manipulative, the sort who is constantly shouting and telling other people what to do,) but still I find it interesting to reflect on the fact that one trait does not imply the other, and it concerns me that I'll have the same dichotomy.

Also, I just realized that I forgot to call on my mom's birthday. I sent a card and flowers well in advance, but I forgot to call on the actual day. crap

[0bsessions]

Oooooooooooooooooold.

Like, Joe Hocking old.

[Uber Ritter]

Oh yeah, my mom's pretty normal aged.
My dad is pretty damned old given that I'm just finishing college.  Like it's a good thing that my brother is getting married because at least my dad will meet some of his grandkids even if I don't plan on spawning anytime soon.  He's 8 years my mom's senior, though they met in college--he was just the old guy in their class, or one of them, anyway.  Had been in the Navy, bummed around a bit.  Actually it's the sort of life that I associate more with my own generation than his-ie he didn't find employment with a company right out of high school (and/or college right after high school) and stick with them for the rest of his life, didn't get married until he was 30, etc.

[Lines]

I only grew up with my mom, but what little I've heard about my dad, I'm kind of glad I grew up without him. I get along pretty well with my mom as well. We're both pretty stubborn people, but she more so than I, so when we do butt heads, it's pretty bad, but we both get over it soon enough. Uh, I think the major differences are she likes to gossip WAY much more than I do (with her job and stuff and not going out much, she doesn't really have much else to talk about) and sometimes thinks I'm an idiot because I do things differently than how she would do/does, even though it works for me. That's really the only negative thing I can think of, because if she's mad at me for something it's usually that.

As for age, my mom was 37 when she had me and I think my dad was about 5-10 years younger than her. So growing up, I had the "old parent", but who cares, because she was also one of the "cool moms".

[Patrick]

My dad's about to turn 58 this June, and my mom will be 53 in November. My dad works for Pacific Gas and Electric in northern California, and my mom works at the U.S. embassy to Tirana, Albania (assignments switch every 2 to 4 years, hence my constant moving around). My mom secretly hates all men (anything else need saying there?). My dad's a perfectionist and a control freak. These are the reasons that after I move out, I never want to move back in with either of them ever again.

They're both batshit, but I love them to bits. And they certainly have made my life interesting to live. But then again, there's that Chinese curse, "May you live in interesting times." Who knows.

Edit for a quote from my friend's old band:

MY PARENTS they really suck
MY PARENTS I'm not gonna front
MY PARENTS they really blow
MY PARENTS that's fo sho

[Liz]

Both of my parents are pretty average, I guess. My dad grew up on the dairy farm that he inherited, and once my parents got married my mom moved out to the farm and they did that for a while. Six years ago we sold all our cattle, so they both had to find new jobs, so now my dad works construction and my mom works in the bank she worked at before getting married. We've never been particularily well-off in any way, but they both do their best help us out now that we (my siblings and I) are in college.

I've always been a heck of a lot closer to my mother than my father. She has a pretty short temper and would be the one to do the yelling when they felt it necessary, but she also has a pretty quirky side that my sister and I brought out in her while we were growing up, and still do today.  My dad is much, much more mellow than my mom. I can't recall him ever yelling, since he's pretty laid back overall. We just never had much in common.

What I really love is that my parents were set up on a blind date. One of my dad's high school classmates worked at the same bank as my mom in the days before they were married, and she got them to go on a date. Nine months later they were engaged, the next spring they were married, and two years later my sister was born. 2006 was their 25th anniversary! Hooray!

[jimbunny]

Fairly average, middle class, both of Dutch descent.

Explains me, I guess.

No, really. I can't think of any decision they've ever made that would qualify them as "weird" or even "bad" parents. And to me, at 20, I'm pretty OK with that. Good job, my parents.

[Chrasstor]

Both of my parents are blue-collar lower-middle class workers. My dad makes 12$ an hour and my Mom makes 20$.

My family is far from wealthy. My mom's kind of overbearing and wants me to be a doctor or a lawyer or some stupid shit like that, regardless of how many times I tell her I'm not. I'm sick of her telling me what I'd like, but that doesn't stop her! My dad's pretty good with letting me choose my own path, though. I'd say personality-wise, I'm more like my dad. Sporadically in a good mood, but on the flip side, also randomly grouchy and self-loathing.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm bipolar, but I don't think it's as bad as that.

[Boro_Bandito]

I was typing up a response for this thread, and realized by the end of it, I had somewhere around 8 paragraphs. So rather than blogging about my parent's life history, how they met, and why they turned out the way they are and how that affected how they raised me and my siblings.

So instead let's just say that I know way way way too much about them, but I'm alive, and in college, and they still support me and I'm on speaking terms with them, so I don't think they fucked up through raising me too much. So to them, thanks guys, good job, I don't blame you too much for any particular issue that a few months of therapy wouldn't clear up.

[RedLion]

My father's pretty old--63. He's the director of the city transit service, and he served in the military for 30 years. He fought in Vietnam and Desert Storm, and was called into Bosnia for a short amount of time. He's very well-intentioned and cares deeply for his family and always want to do the right thing. but he's often too afraid of making a mistake or causing a rift between himself and my mom that he holds back and becomes fake, going "hee hee" or "hoo hoo" instead of actually, truly laughing. And this makes me incredibly sad at times. Because he's an amazing man, who, really, could be so much more than what he is. He has a fairly open mind, and everyone around town knows him, a large number of people in Madison know him, and plenty of people out here in DC (where I am as I write this) know him too. He's known, respected and liked, and yet...i feel bad for him. And I don't know why.

My mom's a band teacher, she's stubborn, she holds grudges and she's frankly ignorant and irrational on a lot of topics, and that's not just typical teenage arrogance talking. Her lack of reasoning astounds me at times, as it does to my dad and my ex-therapist. She does care about me and my sister very much, but only when it's convenient for her. If we've pissed her off, she gives the cold shoulder treatment, which is pretty pathetic, considering I'm 18 going on 19 and my sister is nearly 25. She also refuses to say "Love you" or anything of the sort to my dad, despite his repeated usage of the phrase. I love both of my parents, but my mom lacks respectability for me. '

They're both very lenient though, generally not setting any curfew, letting me use their car(s) when I needed to, and not sticking their nose into every vestige of my personal life...unless it had to do with school. Then they'd be all over it.

[morca007]

I love my parents, they're not perfect, but they try.

My dad's from a rich Jewish family, but he's one to break from tradition, and moved us out west for Windsurfing and snowboarding. He never had a 'normal' job, and was away, traveling around the world a lot when I was growing up, which meant that I didn't see him for weeks at a time, but when he was home, I got to spend as much time as I wanted with him. Thanks to his working in what he did I got a lot of pretty unique experiences growing up that I didn't notice at the time, like watching him design windsurfing/kiting/snowboarding stuff, basically living inside the boardsport industry. While my friends were reading Snowboarding mag I was reading Transworld business, meeting industry heads, that sort of thing. Also, he is fond of buying sail boats and making us go on extended sailing trips.
Basically he is cooler than I will ever be.
Seriously. Walking around downtown with him is humbling and a bit annoying.
Now that I'm a bit older, I'm beginning to see him as a dude I probably would like to hang out with if he weren't my dad.
I also know very little about his life pre-me. Except that he quit school to go to the Windsurfing world championship a few weeks after dislocating/tearing both his shoulders.

He and my mother raised us in a pretty secular, liberal household and encouraged us to make up our own minds on religion and politics.

My mom is a very warm, nice person. She gave up her career to raise my sister and I, and has always been encouraging in everything I do. I don't have a whole lot to say about her except I love her to bits.

This was a bit longer than I intended.

[blaha 41]

Wow, so far everyone has really wonderful (even if it sounds like some of the descriptions veer towards emotionally rough childhoods) parents.

I really think that we all turn into at least 50% if not 80% of our parents, and I'm hanging out with this girl now whom I really enjoy but whose parents I really don't enjoy so it's a major strike against her.

A few things that my parents taught me:

- It's never ok to get fat/lazy/ or stupid.
- If a girl has to ask a guy out first, then the guy really isn't all that into the girl.
- The guy should be older than the girl.
- no matter how rich you are, never buy anything that's not on sale.

[calenlass]

My dad is actually my step-dad. He is the IT guy for Delta's IT department. My mom paints; once she actually sold a painting, so that she could call herself a professional artist. I have found that compared to my peers' parents they are both relatively young, even though they aren't really.

[A Wet Helmet]

I have one living Grandparent left, and that's my maternal grandfather.

He's going to turn 86 this year, and to this day if the weather is warm enough, you'll find him riding his jet-ski every weekend.

If the weather isn't warm enough, he's still going to go up to his cabin at the lake and hang out. He'll probably lay around on the couch reading all day. If there is work to be done, however, he's going to do it, even though he had a pacemaker put in a few years ago. If you don't like it... you can just fuck off.  That's his attitude.   The man survived WWII, Korea, a triple bypass in '76, they yanked an aneurysm the size of a grapefruit out of his aorta in 88 or 89, he's been in congestive heart failure twice, and he keeps on going.   The doctors finally made him stop working just a few years ago after getting his pacemaker, because at age 81 or 82 the man was still working on his feet 50 hours a week. 

He's slowed down a lot lately and it absolutely devastates me to see him now.  When I was little I used to watch him drink scotch at 7 a.m., blow smoke rings from unfiltered cigarettes (not that I'm advocating either functional alcoholism or tobacco use, but it was the '70s and more acceptable then.  He's since given up both vices) and do unbelievable amounts of physical labor every day, usually in the hot-sun.  He was tough as nails, can make, build or fix anything (believe me, I've seen some crazy shit come out of his garage) and is absolutely the funniest person I've met in my entire life.  To keep himself busy these days, he drives other old folks around, because hey... he still drives and lives by himself. He only ever really got mad at me one time too, when I was 14 and sunk a boat.    Yeah, you read that right... I sunk a boat.   I'd say he had pretty good reason to be pissed.

That's who I want to be when I grow up.  Just like my Grandfather.

[Darkbluerabbit]

A few things that my parents taught me:

- It's never ok to get fat/lazy/ or stupid.
- If a girl has to ask a guy out first, then the guy really isn't all that into the girl.
- The guy should be older than the girl.
- no matter how rich you are, never buy anything that's not on sale.

I don't know if you consider that to be truth, or just something your parents told you, because I have to disagree.  My mom is two years older than my dad, and my parents have one of the most successful relationships I've ever observed.  They obviously still love each other and are a great pair.  I have no idea how I wound up so cynical about relationships, because it certainly wasn't from their example.

They met while working on a magazine, my mom was in the journalism department and my dad was in graphics.  My mom moved to my hometown because she was engaged to some other guy, but she says that she "decided she liked my dad better" whatever that means.  I haven't gotten the full story yet.  They had me when my mom was 26, and my brother a little less than two years later.  My mom went back to work after me, but became a stay-at-home mom after my brother was born.  They had my sister four years later, and once she was in school my mom got a job at the library. 

My mom is a very kind person, and I can usually tell her anything.  She reads a lot, as you'd expect from a librarian.  I connect more with my mom, but I have more in common with my dad.  We're both kind of reserved when it comes to emotions, have similar senses of humor, and are both into music and photography.  My dad does pre-press color correction for a catalogue.  I think he really wants me to get into graphics too, because at least 50% of our conversations revolve around Photoshop. 

I completely accept the fact that I am my parent's child.  I can trace most of my major personality traits and interests to one or both of them.  They gave me a lot of the values I hold today, for example, we always had pets, and I was raised to love animals as members of the family.  Last year they got involved with a collie rescue group and have been fostering dogs until the group finds a permanent home for them. 

While they promoted certain core values, they never pushed anything on us.  I never even knew that my parents were politically inclined until I started voicing opinions that I'd formed for myself. 

I clashed with them a bit as a teen, but nothing out of the ordinary.  I had a pretty good relationship with them even before I left high school, and I haven't fought with either of them since I was sixteen. 

I'm pretty lucky to have parents that are genuinely cool people who I respect a great deal as individuals, not just as the people I came from.  My parents are also training to run the 1st annual Lake Wobegon Marathon, which is just awesome. 

[Hairy Joe Bob]

OMG MY PARENTS DON'T UNDERSTAND ME

They are so lame! They don't get my feelings why are they so STOOPID!

[tania]

If a girl has to ask a guy out first, then the guy really isn't all that into the girl.

i understand your parents grew up in a different generation but i kind of hope you don't believe this one either.

[Uber Ritter]

That one's obviously not true.  I mean, my girlfriend was definately the one doing the pursuing, but I've never been a 'he's just not that into you' kinda guy.

Man, generalizing about men women and the relation between the two is probably the fastest way to being at least half wrong that I know.

[Luke C]

My parents are pretty cool, we are very close.

My Dad is cool enough to come to gigs, even Metallica last year. My Mum's music taste is teh suck at times but she is everything a mother should be, loving and caring etc.

Everything Ive ever done good in my life has been inspired by them. My main problem is it is nigh on impossible for me to rebel against them, they are pretty understading. Maybe if I smoked or took class A drugs but I dont want to do those things!

[calenlass]

Yeah, dawg. It has gotten to the point where if I am not the one doing the pursuing I have no idea how to handle the situation and it gets really awkward and uncomfortable.

[jhocking]

I AM THE WOLF AROOOOOOO

[Elizzybeth]

My parents have always been objectively pretty cool.  My mom is an R.N. with a M.S. in biology; my dad's a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a PhD in the education of children with autism.  They were both pretty seriously invested in making sure that they raised my brother and I healthily and happily--when we were small, they worked hard to create a stable, secure home for us. 

They've made their mistakes, and they've struggled through some rough spots (while my dad was getting his PhD and my mom was teaching preschool, money was pretty tight, but we never had to worry about having enough to eat or having beds to sleep in).  They're both manic depressive, and my mom's spent a couple of weeks in mental hospitals.  Ultimately, though, they pull through it all, continuing to love and support each other and remaining continual advocates for my now-20-year-old brother, who may never be able to live on his own.  They both have pretty strong personalities; I have clashed and once in a while still clash with them, but I love and respect them deeply, and we almost always manage to work out solutions that are beneficial to both parties.

Also, they're going to Burning Man this year.

[Peet]

From a mixed bunch, with some certainlly amongst the best I've had this year and some who frankly wouldn't be preferable to a camel, the QC forum parents are overall pretty decent. I would give your mothers C+, would drop in again if I was in the area.

[Patrick]

Yeah, dawg. It has gotten to the point where if I am not the one doing the pursuing I have no idea how to handle the situation and it gets really awkward and uncomfortable.

See, for me it's awkward and uncomfortable no matter who is doing the pursuing. Unless it's a high-speed shootout/chase scene, in which case, I'd rather be doing the pursuing.

[karl gambolputty...]

My mother is an immigrant from Sri Lanka. My grandfather (her father) owned a big tea plantation in Columbo

Dang, we might be related! (All Sri Lankans are in some way related, especially closer to the upper end of the socio-economic spectrum).  Also, iirc there aren't any tea plantations in Colombo, they're really only in Kandy and Nuwara Eliya.  It's too hot to grow tea everywhere else.

My folks are pretty cool.  The got divorced when I was 5, but my Dad and I are still close.  My mom is an international development consultant, so she bounces around all over the place for months at a time.  She spent most of 2004 in Afghanistan working with the UN, which was not much fun for the rest of the family, although she apparently had a great time.  She likes to show off the pictures she has of her in a bunker flanked by soldiers while the UN compound was being attacked. 

My dad is an engineer, and a giant gadget-nerd.  He used to have an awesome beard, but then he shaved it off, and my mom left him.  Not to say that that's why she left him, but that was the sequence of events.  I guess I don't really know a whole lot more about him.  He's not a talker.

My step-dad and I hated eachother for a very long time, and then pretty abruptly became really good friends, around ten years after he and my mom got married.  He's a 6-year-old in a grown man's body.  He loves shiny things, colorful things, and big things, his only discernable goal in life is to own a Hummer, and he dresses like a south-american druglord.  Basically, he is awesome.

I don't like my dad's second wife much at all.

[Blue Kitty]

To tell you the truth I did not actually know my parents until I was 7 years old.  For the first 7 years of my life I lived in Kansas, in what could be called the middle of no where, with my Aunt Muriel and my Uncle Eustace.  Around July of my 7th year my real parents came and took me to live in Michigan, where I have lived ever since.

Aunt Muriel, who I thought since the beginning of my stay was my actual mother, was a kind older woman.  She liked tea and usually tended her garden, played the sitar, or watched TV with Uncle Eustace, their small dog, and myself.  She was kind to everyone no matter what they did or have done, and she was fairly slow to anger.  She helped people regardless of the reward and always tried her best at everything she did.  Uncle Eustace, on the other hand, was a grouch.  All he seemed to care about was himself, well himself and his truck.  I don't know why Aunt Muriel put up with him, but she did.

If anything my stay there taught me to be more like my aunt and less like my uncle, mostly since it seemed that bad things always seemed to happen to my uncle.  I would say they have more of an impact on me then my parents did.

[öde]

- If a girl has to ask a guy out first, then the guy really isn't all that into the girl.

I wish parents would stop teaching their kids this. If I'm going to have relations with a girl she is going to be wearing the strap-ontrousers.

[Cartilage Head]

 I actually haven't lived with my mom in a couple of years, but I still stay in touch with her and visit her. I came from a pretty rough neighborhood and got beat up by a bunch of hooligans once on the playground. My mom got really scared and sent me to live with my Aunt and Uncle, and my life has been upside-down ever since.

 It is pretty cool though. My urban charms are a real culture shock to my classy relatives, especially C.

[Jimmy the Squid]

My mother is an immigrant from Sri Lanka. My grandfather (her father) owned a big tea plantation in Columbo

Dang, we might be related! (All Sri Lankans are in some way related, especially closer to the upper end of the socio-economic spectrum).  Also, iirc there aren't any tea plantations in Colombo, they're really only in Kandy and Nuwara Eliya.  It's too hot to grow tea everywhere else.

Shit you're right. I looked into it (asked an aunt of mine) and yeah, the plantation was in Kandy. My mum went to a boarding school in Columbo. I only barely listen to her anyway so this mistake is hardly surprising!

[Thaes]

My mother, who´s 40 years old, is a relatively calm person, who hates it when someone criticizes someone else. She´s also emotionally very supportive, and is pretty much always ready to comfort any person from our family when they´re feeling blue. Oh, and when we were having coffee a while back, she told me in this most casual voice that I was a "midsummer accident"...

My father (who does not live in this town, unfortunately) is a bit more laid back than my mother. He has a great sense of humor and shares my taste for crappy horror movies. He´s also an excellent cook, just like my mother. Unfortunately for him, he will become unemployed this summer, as the company for which he works announced that they will be moving their production from the city my father lives in to another one.

[Boro_Bandito]

Aunt Muriel Unlce Eustace and their dog.

I see what you did there.

[ThePQ4]

My Mom is one of those "cool" moms. She's always been extremely supportive of everything I've done and everything I have ever wanted accomplish. She's also extremely open to my interests, even if she doesn't openly agree with some of my own opinions. She works two jobs to support her family, and has always tried her hardest to give us what we (meaning my two sisters, brother, and I) what we want, as well as what we actually "need". My male friends, and her younger male-coworkers joke that she is hot. She's had several guys, closer to my age and my older sister's age, ask her out in the last couple of years. We tease her that she's a MILF, and she's easy going and knows EVERYONE. We can't go anywhere with her without running into someone she knows.

My Dad, on the other hand, is extremely selfish. He cares little for his children, although I will admit that around the time my Mom started divorce proceedings he did make a little more effort to get to know us. However, it was "too little, too late". He accuses my Mom of turning his kids against him when really he is the asshole who cheated on our Mom, does the absolute minimum to support his family, and will always take the easy way out of every situation.

My parents are kind of polar opposites who only got married (and remain married) for their kids (or at least that is my Mom's excuse). I have a feeling once we are all out of the house in a couple of years she'll reopen the divorce proceedings and finally leave him. Maybe then I'll get that step-brother I've always wanted. She's always said that if she did divorce my Dad that she wouldn't date or get married again, but I kind of doubt that. She's pretty self-sufficient but I think with encouragement, my sisters and I could talk her into a relationship.

In short: My Mom is awesome and my Dad sucks. How typical.

[Peet]

My mum and dad were killed by an escaped rhino when I was a baby, so for the first ten or so years of my life I was raised by two thoroughly mean aunts, one very thin and one very fat. Then, for a time, I was adopted by a small group of enlarged insects, with whom I sailed to America inside an engorged fruit. I now live in New York, in the stone of said fruit, and smoke an awful lot of crack.

[Patrick]

I thought your name was Pete, Pete.

[blaha 41]

A few things that my parents taught me:
- If a girl has to ask a guy out first, then the guy really isn't all that into the girl.
- The guy should be older than the girl.

I don't know if you consider that to be truth, or just something your parents told you, because I have to disagree.  My mom is two years older than my dad, and my parents have one of the most successful relationships I've ever observed.  They obviously still love each other and are a great pair.  I have no idea how I wound up so cynical about relationships, because it certainly wasn't from their example.

- If a girl has to ask a guy out first, then the guy really isn't all that into the girl.

I wish parents would stop teaching their kids this. If I'm going to have relations with a girl she is going to be wearing the strap-ontrousers.

I know a few people who have parents where the woman is older in the relationship and the marriage is still going great after 20+ years so I can't say my aphorisms ring absolutely true. I don't know anyone where the girl asked the guy out though, but there must be thousands of examples where it's worked out.

It's probably only good advice if you know yourself to be relatively superficial... A big reason I'm attracted to be people still (I'm 27) is physical... possibly as much as 70/30 or 80/20. If they're older already then I know i'm going to get bored much faster than if they're young. Also, women (generalization) are just more mature and ready to settle down in life than guys are. A 27 yr. old woman is going to have to start to think about having kids in the next few years and I'm not going to be ready to think about that for nearly ten years.


+10 for Cartilage Head's reply "lolz" and all that. (true story, my former roommate went to work at a place with a 90% "urban" workforce where every friday they did a quick camaraderie sing a long thing, and the only song that everyone knew was the fresh prince of bel air song... i think that speaks to will smith's lasting legacy as a hallowed and revered cultural icon of the 90s may he RIP)

[redglasscurls]

Dang man, Will Smith is still alive! Dude's not even 40 yet.

My parents are aging hippies. They let us choose our own views on politics and religion, but still taught us manners and useful things. I think I know more about how to keep house than many of my friends who had more traditional stay-at-home mother types, and I really appreciate it now that I'm living more on my own.
Even though my Dad can be a bit of a pompous ass, and my Mom can be maddeningly unpredictable in terms of what she will/will not approve of, I think both my sisters and I turned out well.
I give them a B+!

[imonfire]

My parents spilt when I was 7 and my mother moved out, shortly afterwards my dad spiraled way way down. Lost his job and started drinking a lot. Being the kid that I was I always blamed my dad for the split even though it was my mom who had the midlifecrises and took off. At 13 we moved in with my mom, all three of us kids into her two bedroom apartment because my dads drinking had gotten out of control. I really distanced myself from my dad, the only one of us who really is in touch with him other than holidays anymore is my little sister who was too young to remember what he was like when he was drinking. Since then to the extent of my knowledge though he's stopped, and I would like to get to know him again, its just hard to cross back over that line. Other than the alcohol I really love my dad a lot. He's very smart and full of good advice.

My mom is super... kooky. All my friends love her, she is definently the token "cool mom". When I got the ambulance bill in the mail and had to explain to her how I thought I was dying when I did too much mushrooms she laughed it off (I was 17 so our health plan covered it), I even caught her smoking a joint once. She had a bit of a traumatic childhood so she used to just kind of snap sometimes, not in the mean way but in the crazy way... like walking half way across town with no shoes on from my grandma's to my dad's house.. but all thats stopped since she stated therapy.

I get a lot of my traits from my parents like my cynicism and temper from my dad, and my acceptance and liberalism from my mom. In the end I love them lots, even though they both kind of ruined my childhood.