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[Tehz]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disaster_movie

That's right, from the people behind such cinematic masterpieces as Epic Movie, Date Movie and Meet the Spartans comes...DISASTER MOVIE.

How the fuck are the even allowed to still make these?

[KvP]

They're really cheap to make and debut during months in which nothing of note is premiering, such that even just that small percentage of people with bad sense who think "well, there's nothing else out" will turn the waste a film a modest profit.

[imapiratearg]

PLEEEEASE STOOOOOP.

:[

[Dimmukane]

Oh what the fuck.  I mean, it's gonna be out in two months, and half the movies it's parodying came out in the last 60 days (Iron Man, Sex and the City, Incredible Hulk) and/or still aren't out yet (Hancock).  Seriously, even though this was to be expected, this is still a fuckin' travesty.  As far as I can tell, there's a comet, and that's as far as the 'disaster' goes.  In all seriousness, I would much rather watch Manos, The Hands of Fate than this tripe.  Did you see the FX they used to squash Iron Man?  It's like they're not even trying.  You would think that they intentionally weren't, yet those two (Seltzer and Freidberg) are quick to mention that they both wrote on Scary Movie at the beginning of every promo reel.  And a fucking cow?  I've never had the urge to kill someone for crimes against decency and common sense more than I do right now.

Man, I am ten kinds of furious and need to take a break from the internet for now.

[Tehz]

I don't blame ya, bro. Bullshit on this level gets me fired up.

I think I wanna sneak into this when it comes out just to ruin the experience for everyone else who's there to seriously watch it. Who's with me? We can start a national campaign, get hundreds and hundreds to join in.

[KvP]

I'm not willing to get anywhere near this movie.

[Dimmukane]

I could maybe try to destroy the reels at all the local theaters?  Anyone interested in vigilante justice?

[tomselleck69]

That's all well and good but what I'd really like to see is "Cult Classic Movie"

In "Cult Classic Movie," Friedberg and Seltzer make another dumb genre picture in the same no jokes, just pop culture references style, but use only films that legitimate cinema geeks are reeeeeeeeally attached to. E.G. films by Robert Altman, Andrei Tarkovsky, Alejandro Jodorowsky, Andrzej Zulawski, Michael Haneke, (the unpopular films of) Kubrick and the whole French new wave.

That is what it will take for Friedberg and Seltzer to accomplish their goal (that goal being nothing less than total destruction of film as an art form) and I for one support them.

[RobbieOC]

...they're doing a parody of The Love Guru? Doesn't that movie basically parody itself?

[Bennett the Sage]

If you want crappy movies like this to stop being made, follow what the greatest film critic in history said:

"It's simple, if you stop going to bad movies, they'll stop making bad movies. If the movie stinks, just don't go."

-Jay Sherman, The Critic

[loam]

If you want crappy movies like this to stop being made, follow what the greatest film critic in history said:

"It's simple, if you stop going to bad movies, they'll stop making bad movies. If the movie stinks, just don't go."

-Jay Sherman, The Critic

ding ding ding

and please for the love of god people, please please stop going to see horrid movies. then I wont have to work on them!

[Tom]

Some people i.e., a shit tonne actually love this shit.

[Cartilage Head]

  Here is the script for the movie.

 Hip hop music/ dancing
 
 Carmen Electra poses a couple of times while an outdated song plays

 Michael Jackson joke

 Paris Hilton joke

 Britney Spears joke

 The Incredible Hulk farts

 Iron Man farts inside his suit and gags

 One of those Zohan or Love Guru guys shows up and basically ssays things from their respective movie.

 iphone reference.

 More hip-hop.

 The cloverfield monster has a big weiner.

 The end.



 Seriously, why is Carmen Electra in ALL of these fucking movies? She is a hideous, hideous woman.
 

[Sox]

I honestly didn't think the trailer could make the movie look THAT bad. But it did! It made it look SO bad that I'm actually posting to point out how bad the movie actually seems to be. Incredible. It looks SO bad that I actually want to see it.

[mat_mantra]

It does seem to have the horrifying appeal of a train wreck.  Terrible to watch, yet some morbid fascination keeps you rooted in place

[Scruffy]

People under the age of 15 (probably younger) see it and think it's edgy because it uses adult humor and situations in a poorly designed way.  Thats just my opinion I guess, but when I was a kid I loved really dumb, stupid movies with lots of cussing because it felt like I was getting away with something. 

[Dimmukane]

When I was 15 I watched angsty crap like Donnie Darko.  I still would've thought that this sucked. 

To me this is not like a train wreck, this is equivalent to 9/11.  I don't want to watch, I want to get the fuck out of the way.

[Inlander]

1: Epic Movie
2: Date Movie
3: Friends with Money
4: Alvin and the Chipmunks
5: Kickin' it Old Skool

That's rather bizarre. Four of those movies are absolutely terrible (actually, three, I've never heard of Kickin' it Old Skool, but how good could a film with that title be?) - and then there's Friends With Money, which is actually pretty good, but also pretty damn low-profile. Is there a particular reason it's so popular where you are, Anyways? Has it only recently come out or something? It seems such an odd film to turn up on a list like that!

[MusicScribbles]

I don't think a lot of you realize the point of this thread.
The thread title clearly says that this is a joke. Really. We're DONE here.

[Border Reiver]

I don't think a lot of you realize the point of this thread.
The thread title clearly says that this is a joke. Really. We're DONE here.

Nicely played. 

[Dimmukane]

Tarkovsky's STALKER?

Oddly enough, that's what I just rented. 

Seriously, though, I just can't understand how enough people find these movies funny enough to keep it profitable.  All I can hope is that since the jokes are recycled so much, everyone will eventually get bored of it and the series will be relegated to straight-to-DVD release.  I will even go so far as to say that these are worse than the majority of straight-to-DVD titles.

[Jimmy the Squid]

Dude, I'm pretty sure that these new "parody" films are on a different level of shit to stuff like Friends. I mean, Friends had a monkey in it! A monkey who went on to play a role in that Lost in Space film and then got his own spin-off.

[benji]

They make money because they're cheep to make by Hollywood standards. The technical budget tends to be small and there aren't any huge stars that you need to pay. I think they also do inexplicably well in international markets. Here, they tend to peak quickly, fall just as quickly, and go out of the theaters quietly after a week or two. In other countries, they stick around for a long time and become number 1 DVD rentals (as Anyways has shown us with that top 5 list). I don't know why, but I guess since they only parody really big pop-culture references for the most part, and since the other joke-like-things are based on slapstick, they probably translate pretty well.

[Dimmukane]

I mean, I know they're cheap, I'm just amazed it keeps making a domestic profit. 

Does anybody know if a petition would do anything?  Or do those two have to agree to a certain number of signatures first?  They're rapidly approaching Boll's level of atrocity, which is why I ask.


Edit: Yeah, I was reading up on STALKER a little bit (plot synopsis, no spoilers), and I'm pretty excited about it.  I also rented Solaris, haven't seen that yet either.

[Dimmukane]

I'm not gonna watch them the same night...I've got 'em for a week.

As far as the petition, I guess that's just wishful thinking on my part.

[Yakob]

I don't think a lot of you realize the point of this thread.
The thread title clearly says that this is a joke. Really. We're DONE here.

Dude, it's on Wikipedia

[Betagold]

Batman-style vigilante justice is needed.  It's too late to stop this one, but we need to get rid of the writers before they make another awful, pop culture driven piece of drivel after this one.  Get rid of Uwe Boll while you're at it.  Maybe then, maybe, film will be at least decent again.

[Cartilage Head]

 Friends sucks. Fuck that show.

[Emaline]

These movies keep getting made because they are cheap to make, and make a hell of a lot of money. They sell big at theaters, and then super sell in stores. We sell a shit load of these movies. People love them and it's terrible.

[Ãķde]

$25,000,000 is not cheap. That could feed and clothe and provide shelter for many people! Instead entertainment is provided for people that could otherwise make their own amusement by drinking piss-weak beer and throwing up on themselves.

[Cartilage Head]

 I knew Scary Movie was stupid when I was 12.

[Ikrik]

Dudes, it's not just that they're cheap to make; they get a ridiculous amount of funding.  Watch how much product placement there is in Meet the Spartans or Superhero Movie or whatever, it's downright sickening.  My biggest problem with the whole "Movie" franchise is that usually the beginning intro (which has almost nothing to do with the movie itself) is so much funnier than the actual movie.  Scary Movie II (I believe) began with an Exorcist parody with James Woods that was hilarious (except for a predictable toilet joke)  I've always known these movies to be bad, I probably laughed twice in the first Scary Movie and I haven't really been able to watch through any of the others.

[Boro_Bandito]

Scary Movie II was the only remotely funny movie that they have made, and its because of exactly that, the prologue sting.

"I thought I told y'all n*** before y'all n*** don't fuck with me."

[Thy Dungeonman]

I know it's most likely been asked before, but how long do you think it'll be before they make Parody Movie?

[Johnny C]

If they title it Parody Movie I will kill them and no jury in the world will convict me.

[Cartilage Head]

Because Cartilage Head is so much better than everyone. His opinion should be revered and we should all listen to him.

You know because I am just SO ARROGANT to say a fact that has only to do with me and nothing to do with how you feel or think.

 Because by saying how I felt about a thing I was totally telling you how goddamn hip I am.

[Ozymandias]

Friends was a pretty good show(for a first few years) when you put it on comparison among American sitcoms. No, it's not MASH or All in the Family, but it's also not According to Jim or Yes, Dear. Quite the same reason I watch The Big Bang Theory. I feel like supporting the island of not-terrible in the sea of shit.

Addendum: Stand down, motherfuckers, and chill out.

[Thaes]

I actually liked Scary Movie back when it was all new and stuff. Then I saw Scary Movie 2 and thought "Meh, not as good as the first one". Then I watched the third one because it had Leslie Nielsen in it. Even he couldnīt save that movie.
The fourth one belongs to the same group of "hilarious" movies as all of the Police Academy -movies.

Now, I havenīt seen any of these other "Movies", but I think Iīm gonna make a wise decision by listening to pretty much everyone and not seeing them.

[Caleb]

A vast majority of the western world has got absolutely ZERO goddamn sense as far as artistic value goes, as far as we (people who do not like these movies) are concerned.

That's why movies like this get green lit.  They test these movies out on focus groups and people love them.  Until the general American population realizes just how bad mainstream media is that's the way it's going to be.

I am hoping that there is going to be a slow cultural shift within the next decade or so.  The younger generation is starting to show some promise (not much but it's there).

Until then just hold you nose because the vast bulk of movies are going to utter crap.

[NarwhalSunshine]

If Leslie Neilson were dead he'd be rolling in his grave at what they've done to his genre.

[Betagold]

I know it's most likely been asked before, but how long do you think it'll be before they make Parody Movie?

Can you imagine the conversation that would lead to that?

[Thy Dungeonman]

I try not to, it makes my head hurt.

Yesterday my friends and I talked about what genre these guys would most likely parody next. We figured they'd either do Foreign Movie (Crouching Tiger, etc) or Fantasy Movie (Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter).

[Cartilage Head]

SHUT UP SHUT UP

[Betagold]

How about Independent Movie?  Then there's Cop Movie, Sci-Fi Movie, Animated Movie...

[Jackie Blue]

There already has been an "Independant Movie".  I forget what it was called.  Indie Film or something.  Anyway, it was mostly a parody of Clerks and Pulp Fiction.  Some of it was pretty funny, some was dumb, but it wasn't made by Hollywood or anything, it was an indie film that parody'd indie films.

META, DUDE.

[Tehz]

My Big Fat Independent Movie?

[Betagold]

Chick Flick!

[David_Dovey]

Porn Movie

[Plasticity]

There is actually a porn film called "Not Another Porn Movie" that's a parody of all the porn stereotypes, but also still has some pretty dirty sex in it.

[Cartilage Head]

That is actually a rad idea.