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Author Topic: When Life gives you lemons  (Read 7240 times)

Johnny C

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When Life gives you lemons
« on: 01 Jul 2008, 14:40 »

Life has saved you some money on your grocery bill. Be appreciative.
« Last Edit: 01 Jul 2008, 14:55 by Johnny C »
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Re: When life gives you lemons
« Reply #1 on: 01 Jul 2008, 14:46 »

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, and then toss it in the face of the person who gave you the lemons until they give you the oranges you asked for in the first place.
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Johnny C

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #2 on: 01 Jul 2008, 14:56 »

it's because Life recently read a magazine article about how lemons can help you normalize your weight when used in conjunction with a balanced diet. Life is trying to tell you tactfully, but directly.
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Dimmukane

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #3 on: 01 Jul 2008, 15:20 »

Also buy sugar.
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DoubleAW

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #4 on: 01 Jul 2008, 15:21 »

When life gives you lemons, get some limes and make some god damn soda.
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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #5 on: 01 Jul 2008, 15:25 »

throw that shit away.

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #6 on: 01 Jul 2008, 15:45 »

Quote from: The Andy Milonakis Show Theme Song
When life gives me lemons, I make beef stew.
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Lines

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #7 on: 01 Jul 2008, 15:50 »

This is what I got from Johnny's 2nd post.

Quote from: Life
You're fat. Eat some fucking lemons.
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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #8 on: 01 Jul 2008, 16:20 »

then you should probably write a letter of complaint to Milton Bradley.
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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #9 on: 01 Jul 2008, 17:09 »

When life gives you lemons, get some limes and make some god damn soda.

sorry
"They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. But I tried to make it at home; there's more to it than that. 'Want some more homemade Sprite?' 'Not 'til you figure out what the fuck else is in it!'"
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Dissy

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #10 on: 01 Jul 2008, 17:11 »

When Life gives you Lemons, build an automatic lemon machine gun.
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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #11 on: 01 Jul 2008, 17:16 »

When life gives you lemons you best buy some Tequila.

It is assumed you already have salt, because I mean who doesn't have fucking salt in their house?
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Stryc9Fuego

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #12 on: 01 Jul 2008, 17:18 »

Life can be a bitch. I hate landing on the suicide square.

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #13 on: 01 Jul 2008, 18:02 »

When life gives you lemons you best buy some Tequila.

It is assumed you already have salt, because I mean who doesn't have fucking salt in their house?

Lemons?

Don't you mean limes?
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Aztex

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #14 on: 01 Jul 2008, 18:20 »

make lemon candies!
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jeph

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #15 on: 01 Jul 2008, 18:21 »

When life gives you lemons, you probably have scurvy.
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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #16 on: 01 Jul 2008, 18:46 »

Make some form of cheesecake or other baked goods, because it's far more fun to bake and also your friends will like you more if you give them cake than if you give them some lemonade. Unless it's a hot day, in which case they might want some lemonade?
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Hunter

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #17 on: 01 Jul 2008, 19:29 »

When Life gives you Lemons, you clone those Lemons.  And make Super Lemons.
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Johnny C

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #18 on: 01 Jul 2008, 20:41 »

when life gives you lemons you FUCK THE SHIT OUT OF SOME FUCKING LEMONS
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Social Bacon

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #19 on: 01 Jul 2008, 20:46 »

When life gives you lemons, you eat those lemons fucking raw. Just to show life what a badass you are.
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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #20 on: 01 Jul 2008, 20:51 »

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS YOU FIND A NEW GOD.
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ptfreak

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #21 on: 01 Jul 2008, 21:24 »

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS YOU FIND A NEW GOD.

Give your babies Powerthirst and they'll run as fast as KENYANS
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David_Dovey

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #22 on: 01 Jul 2008, 21:25 »

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #23 on: 01 Jul 2008, 22:03 »

Don't you mean limes?

No, because if life gives you limes you buy some Cachasa and make Caipirinhas.  Duh.
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Darkbluerabbit

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #24 on: 01 Jul 2008, 22:07 »

When life gives you lemons, you eat those lemons fucking raw. Just to show life what a badass you are.

A badass with eroded tooth enamel.
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Slick

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #25 on: 01 Jul 2008, 22:09 »

Fun summer drink:
Simmer one and a half cups sugar in a half cup water, mix constantly till dissolved (clear). Remove from heat
Add 6 cups water + 3/4 cup lemon juice (feel free to throw some lime juice in there if you want as well). Mix briefly.
Toss in two Jalapeno peppers, diced, but large enough to be removed later. Let sit in fridge for anywhere from an hour to a day, then remove peppers.
I'm partial to leaving the peppers in, just for effect, but remind people not to eat them. Unless they like that sort of thing. And remember to sip the drink, don't gulp. Mixes well with gin, if that's your thing.
If you haven't figured it out, it's Jalapeno Lemonade! Delicious served with barbecued food and fresh air.
CAUTION: Do not boil the mixture with the peppers in it! That will make it way too spicy.
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Cartilage Head

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #26 on: 01 Jul 2008, 23:14 »

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #27 on: 01 Jul 2008, 23:15 »

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Yeah, I mean, "I won't kill and eat you if you won't kill and eat me" is typically a ground rule for social groups.

parm

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #28 on: 02 Jul 2008, 01:15 »

You make yourself a nice dry martini and then scrape a bit of the lemon rind off, run it around the rim of the glass and then break it over the surface so there's a nice lemony lift just on the edge of tasting. And you don't put a fucking olive on a stick in there, OK? And you make a martini with gin, not vodka. Fucksakes. James Bond has a lot to answer for.
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You've got spunk and balls, Jen. And I like that in a woman.

Patrick

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #29 on: 02 Jul 2008, 02:26 »

YOU RIDE A UNICYCLE
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parm

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #30 on: 02 Jul 2008, 02:37 »

YOU RIDE A UNICYCLE

I.... wait, what?
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You've got spunk and balls, Jen. And I like that in a woman.

Patrick

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #31 on: 02 Jul 2008, 04:06 »

IT'S THE PIE RACE
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Stryc9Fuego

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #32 on: 02 Jul 2008, 04:23 »

Ironically, my last name is Lemmons. Honestly.

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #33 on: 02 Jul 2008, 04:25 »

In Soviet Russia, Lemons give you Life!!!
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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #34 on: 02 Jul 2008, 04:38 »

I've got this funny image in my mind of Russians in big furry hats picking up lemons off the ground and having a little [1UP] appear over their head.
Of course, if you pick up both a lemon and a lime it would be a [7UP] wouldn't it?

Groan all you like, that was funny and you know it.

Lines

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #35 on: 02 Jul 2008, 05:08 »

YOU RIDE A UNICYCLE

I.... wait, what?

Nobody understands the Pie Race.
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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #36 on: 02 Jul 2008, 06:14 »

You bake a lemon meringue pie as fast as you can.
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Inlander

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #37 on: 02 Jul 2008, 06:16 »

When life gives you lemons, you make an appointment with your doctor and prepare for some embarrassment.

Oh wait, no, that's when life gives you crabs.
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Inlander

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #38 on: 02 Jul 2008, 06:19 »

Actually I heard that Life's been sleeping with Death, and everyone knows that dude's reputation.
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Caleb

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #39 on: 02 Jul 2008, 06:19 »

When life is dreary,

Think of Cheery thoughts,

In a Wink you'll have it made.

If Life gives you Lemons,

Make Lemonade.

So lets get cracking

See what's happening


..and so on.

I still remember that stupid song from chorus in the 7th grade.

They should outlaw teaching songs like that to kids.  Now every time I heard that expression that horribly cheerful song pops into my head.
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Inlander

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #40 on: 02 Jul 2008, 06:20 »

Man, I am all about obtuse smut tonight. Sorry, everyone!
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imapiratearg

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #41 on: 02 Jul 2008, 09:02 »

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sean

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #42 on: 02 Jul 2008, 09:33 »

Don't worry, it's just the natural life cycle of unstickied threads. It happens to the best of them, even the zombie thread.
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Lines

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #43 on: 02 Jul 2008, 09:55 »

When Life gives you lemons, pelt the rotten ones at people.
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tommydski

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #44 on: 02 Jul 2008, 10:19 »

When life gives you lemons you best buy some Tequila.

?
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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #45 on: 02 Jul 2008, 10:48 »

I really don't ever know what to do with lemons.
I mean, I sometimes squeeze them into my water at restaurants.
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Emaline

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #46 on: 02 Jul 2008, 11:25 »

YOU PAINT THAT SHIT GOLD



I am glad I wasn't the only person who thought of that. I haven't heard the album(because I'm pretty sure it's probably terrible), but the lemon candy we got in store were awesome! I love when people give shit away with their albums. LPs, candy, stickers, samplers, posters. I have the most random shit from bands.
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bicostp

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #47 on: 02 Jul 2008, 19:46 »

 When life gives you lemons, dance.

Dance like there's a muskrat in your pants.

Cartilage Head

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #48 on: 02 Jul 2008, 19:57 »

 Naw naw.

 You dance like there's ass in your pants.
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David_Dovey

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Re: When Life gives you lemons
« Reply #49 on: 02 Jul 2008, 21:52 »

I haven't heard the album(because I'm pretty sure it's probably terrible)

Ah-WRONG-ah

(It's probably my second fave Atmos. album after Seven's Travels. It's awesome)
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It's a roasted cocoa bean, commonly found in vaginas.
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