Jeph Jacques's comics discussion forums

  • 28 Nov 2021, 17:55
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Poll

Soooo...

AMAZING BOOOOOOOK
- 12 (10.1%)
Stephenie Meyer is a GENIUS
- 4 (3.4%)
You're all wanks
- 103 (86.6%)

Total Members Voted: 89


Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 14   Go Down

Author Topic: Twilight Series  (Read 150515 times)

sandysmilinstrange

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 302
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #100 on: 10 Nov 2008, 21:13 »

I'm one of the people who slogged through the whole damned series, so I don't think I'm being too judgemental in my assessment of the books.

So, I think the author could be a decent writer. Her prose isn't terrible (when it's not interupting the maybe thirty pages of plot to remind us again that Edward Cullen is super-hot) and the concept of the story sounded interesting. That said, the book was absolute crap and as a reader, I honestly felt a little insulted by the author.

She basically handed me a hollowed out character (as Hannah pointed out, we never find anything out about her future ambitions or ideas), introduced her to an impossibly beautiful man that the readers knew from reading the damned book jacket is a vampire, so why did we spend three hundred pages not putting two and two together, and then her entire being is devoted completely to him. Seriously, for those of you who didn't make it to book two, she actually refers to herself as a satellite orbiting around her planet. He's filled with a deep inner loathing (even though he's beautiful! and smart! and good at everything!), and doesn't think she should really be with him, but is totally okay with coercing her into doing whatever his latest plan is by nibbling her ear or some shit, and she is completely okay with the fact that he's ridiculously jealous, controlling and possessive.

By book two, they've both established that if something were to happen to one of them, the other would kill themselves. Hurray! A positive message for all their young female readers!

Supposedly there's a love triangle, but no, there isn't. Even when he isn't there she doesn't do anything but pine for him, so did anybody honestly not think they would get together in the end?

It was honestly some of the laziest fucking writing I've ever processed. This can't even be one of those guilty pleasure reads for me.

Also, at the local (small! not even chain!) bookstore, there is a whole section of books dedicated to "supernatural romance". About ninety percent of these are vampire smut books. And none of these books gives vampires any weaknesses! This blows my mind! Why even bother making them a vampire if they don't HAVE to drink blood, stay out of the sunlight, or avoid holy relics? That's not a vampire, that's a demigod! Can somebody explain this to me? I don't really understand the appeal of wanting to get all up on a vampire anyway, but why even bother making it a vampire if not one single rule of being a vampire applies?
Logged
"It's funny how you think I'm an asshole because I've got HIGH self esteem"

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #101 on: 11 Nov 2008, 02:07 »

Another advantage you missed that I imagine is in those vampire smut books (I don't read them): rigor mortis means never having to stop.

I do have to thank Meyers as a writer, all those things she got criticized for, I can keep an eye out for in my own stories, those few that apply.
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

Lines

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,330
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #102 on: 11 Nov 2008, 13:28 »

I didn't read most of the thread, so sorry if I'm repetitive. I've only read the first two, but plan on reading the last two just because, but I'm just waiting for the price to go down or Borders gives me a good coupon. Basically, they kind of remind me of The Da Vinci code. People are all hyped over a book that isn't written very well, but the story is compelling enough to suck people in. I can definitely see the charm wearing off over a short period of time, so much that they will not be popular in the future.

But still, at least these books aren't as bad as Eragon, etc. and the movie looks like it might be decent.
Logged
:grumpypuss: :grumpypuss: :grumpypuss:

ampersandwitch

  • The Tickler
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 951
  • cuntstruck
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #103 on: 11 Nov 2008, 14:05 »

But still, at least these books aren't as bad as Eragon, etc. and the movie looks like it might be decent.

But still, at least these books aren't as bad as Eragon


at least these books aren't bad


These books are at least 20x worse than Eragon.  Though both are self insertion, at least Eragon attempted a plot rather than blatant wish fulfillment.
Logged

n0tj3sus

  • Guest
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #104 on: 11 Nov 2008, 15:59 »

Now personally I am not a fan of most books that fall under the category of pulp fiction and this really isn’t much different. Now I have read all but the last one and I really can’t think of anything redeeming about any of them, but that’s just because of my vendetta against harry potteresque writing styles.
or it may be that I was raised on real vampire novels such as Dracula, I am legend, and the vampire chronicles and it pisses me off to no end that there are a bunch of preteens running around squealing about how they want to have Edward Cullen’s babies, but at any rate at least they are better than the city of ashes books...
Logged

Lines

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,330
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #105 on: 11 Nov 2008, 18:38 »

Amper, yes, they are pretty bad, but I couldn't stand Eragon. It was like reading Star Wars meshed with LotR meshed with every other fantasy novel ever written. Vampire stuff I expect to be kind of repetitive, due to there only being so much you can say about vampires, but come on, fantasy novels should not have to be like other fantasy novels, let alone more than one. It's fantasy, make up something completely new and no one will question it.

But basically, I will probably read the books and resell them. They are a guilty "oh my god why am I reading this" sort. This is why I haven't gotten the last two and am reading something that is actually good. (The Glass Castle.)
Logged
:grumpypuss: :grumpypuss: :grumpypuss:

Dazed

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,350
  • Straight outta Boston
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #106 on: 11 Nov 2008, 20:27 »

As a former Barnes & Noble's employee, I can state fairly confidently that only horrible, godawfully annoying people enjoy and see value in reading this utter shit.
Logged
I would probably be getting laid right now if it weren't for the Jews

Liz

Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #107 on: 11 Nov 2008, 21:11 »

Well I enjoy reading them but I see no value in it. They are horrible, horrible books but something about them is just mesmerizing. Plus they are good when you just need to waste a few hours without using any real brain power.
Logged
Quote from: John
Liz is touching me.
Quote from: Bryan
Fuck you, I want him so bad.

David_Dovey

  • Nearly grown up
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8,687
  • j'accuse!
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #108 on: 11 Nov 2008, 23:58 »

But Liz that is what we are for
Logged
It's a roasted cocoa bean, commonly found in vaginas.

Eris

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,985
  • bzzzz
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #109 on: 12 Nov 2008, 00:01 »

Yeah, I would (and probably would still) read them if I just wanted something trashy to waste some time but don't really want to think. And they were strangely compelling, I guess to see if the characters get any better by the end of the book?


Also, the movie looks pretty trashy as well, from what trailers I have seen. I personally think that some of the tricks they used to show things like the vampires' speed and power just look cheesy. If they did something simple like speeding up the shot or using CGI it would look more realistic than all the times where they are just on harnesses. You can tell they were just on harnesses, so it makes it look a bit amateurish.
Logged
Quote from: Drunk Pete
MACHINS CON ESFU EPETE

Liz

Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #110 on: 12 Nov 2008, 06:36 »

See, Hannah understands what I am saying. I guess you just do not get it, Dovey, and that it okay.
Logged
Quote from: John
Liz is touching me.
Quote from: Bryan
Fuck you, I want him so bad.

Lines

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,330
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #111 on: 12 Nov 2008, 13:05 »

Well I enjoy reading them but I see no value in it. They are horrible, horrible books but something about them is just mesmerizing. Plus they are good when you just need to waste a few hours without using any real brain power.

This.
Logged
:grumpypuss: :grumpypuss: :grumpypuss:

Liz

Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #112 on: 12 Nov 2008, 13:05 »

yay someone actually agrees with me!
Logged
Quote from: John
Liz is touching me.
Quote from: Bryan
Fuck you, I want him so bad.

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,969
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #113 on: 12 Nov 2008, 13:19 »

We all understand that you guys want sparkly vampire and/or werewolf babies. It's okay, really. You can admit it. We don't judge here. Yes we do.
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

n0tj3sus

  • Guest
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #114 on: 13 Nov 2008, 00:38 »

(The Glass Castle.)
by jeannette walls?
If so its an amazing book but a slightly difficult one to read not in terms of the laguage or anything but the fact that it is actually a memoir, however very good choice.
Logged

KharBevNor

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,017
  • broadly tolerated
    • http://mirkgard.blogspot.com/
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #115 on: 13 Nov 2008, 16:09 »

come on, fantasy novels should not have to be like other fantasy novels, let alone more than one. It's fantasy, make up something completely new and no one will question it.

Oh come on. Do you read fantasy? Ordinary boy discovers secret destiny, masters incredible powers, makes selfless sacrifice to defeat nebulous manifestation of ultimate evil, is redeemed and generally becomes king of fucking everything, or at the very least lives happily ever after with some hot elf princess. Fantasy is one of the most clichéd genres out there. Even those works which break its clichés can only do so by referencing them.
Logged
[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

http://panzerdivisio

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #116 on: 13 Nov 2008, 16:23 »

I know, the plot has been written a million times before, but he makes it enjoyable to read because he writes the characters well. Also really like the Eleniad, Malloreon (I know I misspelled that), and Tamuli. The young gods series wasn't so good, though.

Dazed, I know people that aren't annoying or horrible that read them, they don't tend to push people to read them, though. All of my youth group has read them, barring me (the only male), maybe they figure that as a straight (so far as they can tell) male, I wouldn't "get it".
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

KharBevNor

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,017
  • broadly tolerated
    • http://mirkgard.blogspot.com/
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #117 on: 13 Nov 2008, 16:40 »

Belgariad and Malloreon, Elenium and Tamuli. I prefer the Elenium and Tamuli because Sparhawk is a right arse-kicker, but as for writing characters well, when you take into account that Polgara/Sephrenia/Dweia etc. is just his wife (and since he's now admitted she helped him write all of them, she's also a self-insertion) and that all his other characters are mirrored exactly across the various books and series and are huge stock fantasy cliches, (Ulath/Barak, the viking. Talen/Silk, the wily thief who is actually a prince, Kring/Hettar honourable horse-riding barbarians, etc. etc. etc.)

And I like Eddings. He can write prose and dialogue and at least he makes some pretense at originality and cohesiveness. He's a million miles above Terry fucking Brooks.
Logged
[22:25] Dovey: i don't get sigquoted much
[22:26] Dovey: like, maybe, 4 or 5 times that i know of?
[22:26] Dovey: and at least one of those was a blatant ploy at getting sigquoted

http://panzerdivisio

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #118 on: 13 Nov 2008, 16:56 »

Yeah, sparhawk is pretty damn awesome. For some reason, I tend to like older heroes, the ones that probably should have retired by now, but haven't. Don't know why, but Vimes can't have hurt.

By writing the characters, I meant the dialogue, sorry.
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

Dazed

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,350
  • Straight outta Boston
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #119 on: 13 Nov 2008, 17:33 »

Eddings' stuff is extremely clichéd, but still relatively enjoyable. Well, except for the younger gods series, that was downright horrible.

Anyway, yes, my earlier comment about Twilight readers was obviously hyperbole. I know several perfectly tolerable people (my younger sister, for instance) who read the books. On the whole though, it seems like they're written on the intellectual level of pretentious, obnoxious, emo teenage girls; and they could not possibly be more annoying.
Logged
I would probably be getting laid right now if it weren't for the Jews

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #120 on: 13 Nov 2008, 17:36 »

Don't say that, tempting fate is a bad idea.
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

Chesire Cat

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,387
  • Standing proudly behind unpopular opinions
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #121 on: 13 Nov 2008, 18:11 »

I was under the assumption that the forum was in favour of Twilight, so based on your collective tastes and my all compassing ignorance of the subject, well and thinking that girl who was in Into The Wild is really hot, was definitely looking forward to this.

So was I just completely wrong?  Or is this some hipster snobbery backlash Im too lazy to research and piss people off by calling out?
Logged
"In this zero sum game everything given to another, reduces me"

Tom

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,090
  • 8==D(_(_(
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #122 on: 13 Nov 2008, 18:18 »

I know, the plot has been written a million times before]

That's strucuralism for you, the only hope for orginiality is in expression which in itself is rather questionable.
Logged

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #123 on: 13 Nov 2008, 18:20 »

Cheshire, go check out the book from the library and decide yourself. Or you can read one of the parodies that are out there, they are funnier. Try one of the ones that was linked so far, those are the ones that I have read.

And Tom, could you clarify what you meant by that? I am confused easily.
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,969
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #124 on: 13 Nov 2008, 18:38 »

I was under the assumption that the forum was in favour of Twilight, so based on your collective tastes and my all compassing ignorance of the subject, well and thinking that girl who was in Into The Wild is really hot, was definitely looking forward to this.

So was I just completely wrong?  Or is this some hipster snobbery backlash Im too lazy to research and piss people off by calling out?

It's not hipster backlash. The books are genuinely pretty bad. The first book ever so slowly creeps up to a climax which ends up taking place mostly "off screen" and is then glossed over in a short recap.


And then Mary Sue gets to go to the prom.
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

AanAllein

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 162
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #125 on: 13 Nov 2008, 21:01 »

I only found out about these books by doing my teaching prac at an all-girls school, where it would not be a stretch to say that every single girl was reading the last book when it came out. I was vaguely interested in investigating them, after avoiding Harry Potter for so long simply because "it was for kids," but this thread is encouraging me to stay the hell away.
Logged

Tom

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,090
  • 8==D(_(_(
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #126 on: 13 Nov 2008, 23:34 »

And Tom, could you clarify what you meant by that? I am confused easily.

Structuralism is basically a literary theory that there are only 8 original stories/narrative structures and as such every narrative apart from those are merely variations on a theme.
Logged

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #127 on: 14 Nov 2008, 01:23 »

Ah, thank you. That seems rather obvious to me, it seems like a basic exercise of categorization, you could make it less or more by finding subgroups or supergroups, seems like when you build the walls, you can make as many rooms as you feel like.
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

dozyrozy

  • Emoticontraindication
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 55
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #128 on: 14 Nov 2008, 02:54 »

I enjoyed reading these books, but I am by no means obsessed with them like so many girls seem to be! And they definitely went downhill after the first one. They aren't original, the main characters are just so perfect that when I'm reading I'm just waiting for them to have unsmoothed hair, or make a silly mistake, or not have sparkly skin... but it just doesn't happen. Even the characters with flaws are redeemed and made to look almost perfect. And if they do make mistakes they are just completely predictable and just slow down the outcome of the story rather than changing it.

But despite their flaws, I did start off by enjoying these books. For a lot of people they're enjoyable, but not good. It's the same with films (in general, not the Twilight ones), it doesn't have to be a good film for people to enjoy it. Things about them annoy me, but every time I start reading a series I want to keep reading just to find out what happens in the end, otherwise I feel like I'm missing out or giving up.

Logged
I think I'll take a nap now...

sandysmilinstrange

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 302
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #129 on: 14 Nov 2008, 07:22 »

So was I just completely wrong?  Or is this some hipster snobbery backlash Im too lazy to research and piss people off by calling out?

I probably wouldn't get so outdone with these books if so many people hadn't told me that they were great, so in a way its popularity did lend a hand to my not liking them. They were overhyped.

I am a huge snob and I tend to think the world would be a better place if the people in it would come around to my way of thinking about most things, but these books are genuinely bad. It reads like fanfiction, what with the main character who thinks she's so plain and boring (but is secretly heart-wrenchingly beautiful) and the love interest who could've gotten with any number of ultra-hot vampire laydeez, but didn't because they weren't her.

There's a scene where he thinks she's dead and he's going to commit suicide and she saves him and he starts quoting Shakespeare. That's not a joke, that's what's actually in these books.
Logged
"It's funny how you think I'm an asshole because I've got HIGH self esteem"

Dazed

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,350
  • Straight outta Boston
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #130 on: 14 Nov 2008, 08:10 »

Dude, people spontaneously quote Shakespeare at me all the time in real life.
Logged
I would probably be getting laid right now if it weren't for the Jews

sandysmilinstrange

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 302
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #131 on: 14 Nov 2008, 08:17 »

After being stopped commiting suicide? It was the context that threw me off, not the lines themselves.
Logged
"It's funny how you think I'm an asshole because I've got HIGH self esteem"

0bsessions

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,314
  • Change Is Taking the Seventh Dick
    • Quiki
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #132 on: 14 Nov 2008, 08:26 »

I only found out about these books by doing my teaching prac at an all-girls school, where it would not be a stretch to say that every single girl was reading the last book when it came out. I was vaguely interested in investigating them, after avoiding Harry Potter for so long simply because "it was for kids," but this thread is encouraging me to stay the hell away.

If you're going to teach, you should read these just so you can rightly call all the students retards with terrible taste in literature.

Seriously guys, this shit makes Goosebumps look like high quality classic literature.
Logged
I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

Tom

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,090
  • 8==D(_(_(
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #133 on: 14 Nov 2008, 11:38 »

he starts quoting Shakespeare. That's not a joke, that's what's actually in these books.

OMG, leik he so totally quotes Shakespeare that is leik soooo romantic!   :-D
Logged

Dazed

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,350
  • Straight outta Boston
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #134 on: 14 Nov 2008, 13:02 »

Well, this is probably going to be a bit of a tangent, but ah well. Does it horribly piss anyone else off when in movies/books/tv shows, one average person (i.e. not a poetry scholar) quotes some random piece of obscure poetry/prose, and the other average person immediately recognizes it?

It's like, "Wow! I thought I was the only one who was an unknown 18th century Russian poetry buff! This is such a significant moment of bonding and character development, I'm glad the author threw this in."

I was just reminded of this pet peeve by the Shakespeare quoting nonsense. Granted, Shakespeare is pretty much common knowledge now that high school english departments have pretty much made it the alpha and omega of literature. Still, it's ludicrous and annoying.
Logged
I would probably be getting laid right now if it weren't for the Jews

Chesire Cat

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,387
  • Standing proudly behind unpopular opinions
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #135 on: 14 Nov 2008, 16:33 »

Seriously guys, this shit makes Goosebumps look like high quality classic literature.

Ick, I never did figure out why kids loved Goosebumps so much, maybe its because they were such easy reads?
Logged
"In this zero sum game everything given to another, reduces me"

Surgoshan

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,807
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #136 on: 14 Nov 2008, 17:28 »

Seriously guys, this shit makes Goosebumps look like high quality classic literature.

Ick, I never did figure out why kids loved Goosebumps so much, maybe its because they were such easy reads?


Dingdingding!  We have a winner!
Logged

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,734
  • juicer
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #137 on: 14 Nov 2008, 17:54 »

But what about the one where the smelly aftershave repelled the poison ivy growth!  And then it attracted the mosquitoes!
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #138 on: 14 Nov 2008, 18:22 »

I read a couple of them simply because my mother didn't want me reading them, so they had to be good. Then I got bored of them and went back to Animorphs.
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,734
  • juicer
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #139 on: 14 Nov 2008, 19:06 »

Oh, man, Animorphs.  I followed that religulously in the 4th grade for the first 15 books, then when my parents refused to keep buying them for me, I stopped.  Then I found the last book (51, I think) and read that, like 2 years after it was over.  I somehow don't think I missed much in the other 36 books.  I even watched all six episodes of the TV show (I'm pretty sure it was canceled afterwards).
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #140 on: 14 Nov 2008, 19:13 »

Yeah, that show was pretty crap in retrospect.

I think the last book was... 54, I read all but the second to last, one (I think 36), about the bermuda triangle that my mom refused to let me read, and I stopped reading the last one because I didn't like the way it was going.
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,734
  • juicer
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #141 on: 14 Nov 2008, 19:40 »

Yeah, man, that ending pissed me off.  It was basically an epilogue after the second chapter.  Come to think of it, there were a lot of arbitrary numbers used as plot devices (2 hours before being trapped in a form, 3(6?) days before Yeerks were starved to death.  I'm not even going to get started on the names she came up with for aliens.
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #142 on: 14 Nov 2008, 19:54 »

At least she didn't use apostrophes in place of vowels like some writers f'l th'n'd t'd'
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,734
  • juicer
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #143 on: 14 Nov 2008, 20:29 »

Don't be hatin', man.  The Old Ones will come after you.
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #144 on: 14 Nov 2008, 20:38 »

The old ones just ignore vowels completely, they don't feel the need to use apostrophes.
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,734
  • juicer
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #145 on: 14 Nov 2008, 20:48 »

Who are you talking about then?  All I know are the Old Ones and the occasional old sailor character who is missing lots of teeth.
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

Nodaisho

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,738
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #146 on: 14 Nov 2008, 21:04 »

I am actually not quite sure, maybe it's a dead unicorn trope type thing, I have never noticed it much at all, but then again, I'm not a critical reader, if I am entertained, I am fine with it.
Logged
I took a duck in the face at two hundred and fifty knots

AanAllein

  • Furry furrier
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 162
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #147 on: 14 Nov 2008, 23:44 »

I only found out about these books by doing my teaching prac at an all-girls school, where it would not be a stretch to say that every single girl was reading the last book when it came out. I was vaguely interested in investigating them, after avoiding Harry Potter for so long simply because "it was for kids," but this thread is encouraging me to stay the hell away.

If you're going to teach, you should read these just so you can rightly call all the students retards with terrible taste in literature.

Seriously guys, this shit makes Goosebumps look like high quality classic literature.

I am actually strongly considering playing the "teacher with no knowledge of pop culture whatsoever" card in my first lesson and making an offhand comment about "Harry Twilight or whatever" but that might be ill-conceived
Logged

Surgoshan

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,807
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #148 on: 15 Nov 2008, 06:34 »

Nah, just do what I do.  If they bring up Twilight, say "It's no Harry Potter".  When they press you for specifics, just use what you learned in this thread to cast mild disparagement.  When they ask you why you don't read it, tell them that you'd rather light your head on fire and put it out with a sledgehammer.  The image  should distract them.
Logged

Surgoshan

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,807
Re: Twilight Series
« Reply #149 on: 15 Nov 2008, 08:41 »

Thirty seconds?  We're talking about grades 7-9 here.  They'll jump all over that window and then it'll take another two minutes to get the class to settle down.
Logged
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4 5 ... 14   Go Up