Topic: Twilight Series (Read 181410 times)

sandysmilinstrange · « **Reply #200 on:** 23 Nov 2008, 17:53 »

I saw the movie!

My friend that likes the books wanted to go and it was her birthday, so we went.

I'm dying. That was the most unintentionally hilarious thing I've seen since Urban Ninjas. Let me give you the run down:

Monotone narration. Clunky and clumsily written dialogue. Edward looking like he's in the throws of deepest constipation when he's supposed to be resisting Bella. Flat, white pancake makeup that they didn't even blend onto the character's necks (seriously, it looks like they just tipped them facefirst into flower). Terrible special effects. Vampires striking poses like the Jets about to fight the Sharks whenever they're supposed to look menacing. A lame, anticlimactic villain/hero showdown. And a slow dance where we swear to be together always at prom.

Even my friend (who enjoyed the books) said that it was something that probably shouldn't have been made.

Nodaisho · « **Reply #201 on:** 23 Nov 2008, 18:19 »

Huh, I've heard that it was better than the book. Then again, that doesn't take much doing.

BillyxRansom · « **Reply #202 on:** 23 Nov 2008, 18:26 »

Quote from: tuna ketchup x on 11 Sep 2008, 09:18

Vampire stories have been ruined for me ever since I was in a fantasy writing group and had to read a middle-aged man's epic novel about a polyamorous bisexual vampiress. No thank you, ma'am!

I'm just throwing a guess out, but did Samuel R. Delaney have something to do with this?

sandysmilinstrange · « **Reply #203 on:** 23 Nov 2008, 20:55 »

Quote from: Nodaisho on 23 Nov 2008, 18:19

Huh, I've heard that it was better than the book. Then again, that doesn't take much doing.

Nope. The book was bad, but the movie was just embarassing for everyone involved (including me, for paying for mine and Katie's tickets).

allison · « **Reply #204 on:** 23 Nov 2008, 21:31 »

I saw the movie today. It was a...I think the phrase I am looking for is "an abomination."

It was fun to see it with my best friend and unabashedly mock the entire thing. I just don't understand how this became such a sensation. After the film I unwillingly began the sarcastic slow-clap. It just happened; I had no other way to express just how wonderful and amaaaaaaazing and even sparkly it was. And then...people actually applauded. I was horrified.

satsugaikaze · « **Reply #205 on:** 24 Nov 2008, 01:14 »

We already know that as a general rule the only thing that comes from shit is more shit. =P

I think even some of the hardcore fans weren't expecting it to be very good.

0bsessions · « **Reply #206 on:** 24 Nov 2008, 06:36 »

Rachel saw it Saturday and said it was absolutely terrible.

I feel validated.

LiterSize · « **Reply #207 on:** 24 Nov 2008, 14:50 »

So I am not the only one who thought Edward looked constipated? Hurrah! And yes, the key phrase is "unintentionally hilarious"My lady tells me it's because I haven't read the books.

Meh, we'll see! Or not.

Alex C · « **Reply #208 on:** 24 Nov 2008, 15:12 »

You shouldn't need a book in order to avoid laughing at someone's acting.

Be My Head · « **Reply #209 on:** 24 Nov 2008, 16:54 »

Holy shit, those comments are hilarious. I especially liked this one, since Trainspotting was just on tv the other night.

"Choose Twilight. Choose a blog. Choose a screen name. Choose Edward. Choose Jacob. Choose YouTube, no common sense, and public humiliation. Choose quote tattoos. Choose creepy stalking. Choose no friends. Choose prom dresses and matching sparkles. Choose Hot Topic and wondering who the fuck punched you on Sunday morning. Choose sitting on your couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing MTV vids, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable theater, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up actors you begged to bite you. Choose your future. Choose Twilight."

Surgoshan · « **Reply #210 on:** 24 Nov 2008, 18:47 »

That is DELICIOUS.

satsugaikaze · « **Reply #211 on:** 25 Nov 2008, 04:24 »

They should have intentionally covered the Edward in glitter gloss and reflective disco panels.

After all, what's a shallow Twilight character without inexplicable sparkling? =D

Usopp · « **Reply #212 on:** 25 Nov 2008, 09:38 »

'Kay, game time!

Twilight is to literature as ______ is to ________.

Fill in the blanks!

0bsessions · « **Reply #213 on:** 25 Nov 2008, 10:13 »

Twilight is to literature as AIDS is to one's dating prospects.

Liz · « **Reply #214 on:** 25 Nov 2008, 10:30 »

Twilight is to literature as Street Fighter is to movies.

Lines · « **Reply #215 on:** 25 Nov 2008, 13:39 »

Twilight is to literature as vomit is to a classy dinner.

Tom · « **Reply #216 on:** 25 Nov 2008, 21:42 »

Twilight is to literature as Reaganomics is to economic prosperity for all.

Nodaisho · « **Reply #217 on:** 25 Nov 2008, 22:06 »

Twilight is to literature as Katie Perry is to music.

MadassAlex · « **Reply #218 on:** 25 Nov 2008, 22:08 »

Twilight is to literature as KISS are to rock.

Surgoshan · « **Reply #219 on:** 25 Nov 2008, 22:28 »

So, Edward has an exceptionally long tongue? No wonder the ladies love him.

Nodaisho · « **Reply #220 on:** 25 Nov 2008, 22:29 »

No, man, I'm telling you, it's the rigor mortis.

Twilight is to literature as "your mom" jokes are to high comedy.

MadassAlex · « **Reply #221 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 06:18 »

Quote from: Surgoshan on 25 Nov 2008, 22:28

So, Edward has an exceptionally long tongue? No wonder the ladies love him.

But all his guitar solos are generic, and all his riffs sound better when another band is covering them.

allison · « **Reply #222 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 06:43 »

Twilight is to literature as Lunchables are to a midday meal.

GreyGabe · « **Reply #223 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 07:57 »

Twilight is to literature as grape kool-aid is to fine wine.

Dazed · « **Reply #224 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 11:18 »

Twilight is to literature as The Godfather Part 3 is to the Godfather Part 2.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #225 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 12:10 »

That's not an analogy, try again.

Twilight is to literature as William II is to German rulers.

KvP · « **Reply #226 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 12:44 »

Twilight is to literature as parkas are to sailboats.

Nodaisho · « **Reply #227 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 13:52 »

Quote from: GreyGabe on 26 Nov 2008, 07:57

Twilight is to literature as grape kool-aid is to fine wine.

Sweeter and newer?

You know... that could actually be accurate. 'cept it is more like they spilled most of the flavoring, so tried to make up for it with a couple extra cups of sugar, and it ended up being syrupy and bland.

Surgoshan · « **Reply #228 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 14:20 »

So Twilight is to literature as high fructose corn syrup is to strawberries.

Liz · « **Reply #229 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 14:22 »

Hey guys the movie is up on Megavideo and it is goddamn hilarious. Seriously. I have been laughing so much.

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=1WQKPIGM

Dimmukane · « **Reply #230 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 15:07 »

Wow, that got boring fast.

Like, I turned it off after the first two minutes. Any movie worth watching will catch my attention somehow in that period of time.

This had a vague and thin monologue over some footage of a deer running through the woods, and a bit with a car driving on a bridge, and a girl acting like moving away from home was what drove her to do heroin or something.

Fuck this movie.

Nodaisho · « **Reply #231 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 15:11 »

This looks like some parts will be funny at least.

For some reason, the girl playing Bella reminds me of Eliza Dushku (faith in buffy and angel), just the voice.

edit: Yes, it is funny. The acting is a mix of horrible and people failing to hide how they hate this script so damn much.

britMonster · « **Reply #232 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 16:25 »

I really didn't like Jacob's actor at all. Only a few of the actors actually fit with the books descriptions really well. Alice was spot on, and Bella was pretty damn close.

Carlisle was just hot. And thats all that matters. Lol.

Nodaisho · « **Reply #233 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 16:38 »

The actor playing Carlisle seemed to get a style that reminded me of a less malevolent Dracula, very charismatic, seems like he is a decent actor.

britMonster · « **Reply #234 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 17:54 »

Yeah, I think Peter Facinelli is a decent actor, he's been in a few other things. Most of the actors had this look on their face most of the time, a 'wtf is my facial expression supposed to be' look.

sandysmilinstrange · « **Reply #235 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 20:37 »

I thought most of the vampires looked goofy with the puffy nylon-look hair and powdery white makeup. However, in real life they are mostly pretty effing attractive. Rosalie in particular looks amazingly good with her brunette hair.

Eris · « **Reply #236 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 20:46 »

So, I watched it online just now, and out of the whole movie the Cullens (apart from Edward, I guess) seemed the most interesting of the lot. I would watch a movie about them (man, a version of Growing Up Cullen would be awesome) rather than more Twilight movies; especially seeing as the next movie (if there is one) will be all about Bella and Jacob and the sexual tension that ensues. Thankfully the quality of the video wasn't all that good, so I couldn't see how terribly awful the makeup and hair was; but there were still times where it was obvious how shithouse it was.

Nodaisho · « **Reply #237 on:** 26 Nov 2008, 20:51 »

Some of it looked good, some looked bad. I think that it is likely that some days the makeup people half-assed it, being tired of having to do it every damn day.

Finished watching it, had to open another tab of it when I watched 72 minutes, some of it was hilariously bad, some was actually pretty good, I'm ashamed to say.

A movie version of Growing Up Cullen would be so awesome. I would have to go on opening day, to see all the fangirls watch it.

ummmkay · « **Reply #238 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 05:22 »

Yeah I watched it online last night. I think Bella's voice was the most monotonous thing I have ever heard. If I hadn't read the books, I would have been very surprised when she freaked out in the hospital and said he had to stay, because she was so lifeless and indifferent-seeming through the whole movie.

allison · « **Reply #239 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 06:36 »

It hurt. It was funny, yet kind of painful to watch.
They really took the "show, don't tell" adage to heart. The biology lab scene was a little more than overwrought.

Dazed · « **Reply #240 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 07:15 »

Heh.

Hehehehehe.

HHahaahHAAHhahAHahAHaaaaaaaaaaghghdsgnkdflk.

Sweet merciful god strike me blind and deaf now.

Liz · « **Reply #241 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 11:31 »

I thought Carlisle was actually kind of ugly in the film, not at all how I pictured him when I was reading the book. Jasper was off too, I think it was just his hair. But Mike was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

I still have to watch the rest of it, though. Hmmpf.

Nodaisho · « **Reply #242 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 13:56 »

What, the 72 minute thing? I cheated, opened up a new tab of it and started it from the 1 hour 12 minute mark. I was confused when it first popped up, because I had seen other stuff on there more than 72 minutes a day, but it wasn't one tab going all at once.

Liz · « **Reply #243 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 15:06 »

Yeah, well I have to let it load again. Which is not going to happen now.

peach · « **Reply #244 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 17:08 »

i like twilight.
that's all there is to it ahah.
but i am a teenage girl in highschool who wishes to find a guy like edward...i mean, who doesn't want a tall guy with pretty hair and eyes, strong muscular body and as impossible to get as a fictional character could get?
make fun of me all ya want i already know i'm a nerd. =p

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #245 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 17:15 »

There's a difference between being a nerd and having awful, silly taste. Still, each to their own.

Eris · « **Reply #246 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 17:17 »

Quote from: peach on 27 Nov 2008, 17:08

but i am a teenage girl in highschool who wishes to find a guy like edward...

I know I sure want an overprotective guy who won't let me do anything in case I DIE, who is constantly checking up on me and who sneaks into my house to watch me sleep! Sounds perfect to me!

Actually, that was something in the movie that was a bit more obvious than in the books. The whole "I sneak in here and watch you sleep and have been doing so for months before you knew about it" seemed much more unnerving (creepy? scary?) than it was in the book. I guess actually having the words said aloud rather than just one thing in a book of a lot of creepy things made it more noticeable.

Alex C · « **Reply #247 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 17:37 »

I dunno, I thought it was pretty comically creepshow in both versions.

ampersandwitch · « **Reply #248 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 18:15 »

No, Jimmy, I too want a 100+ year old person who consistently tells me he wants to murder me and drink my bodily fluids. Additionally, he must be into me because he likes the way I smell. Also, I require that we both know what Debussy and Claire de Lune are. I will love him because he is beautiful and I will absolutely break apart if he ever leaves. He must cut my brakes if I ever want to see other boys, and he must absolutely disregard my feelings in all matters because he knows best. I want my very own Edward Cullen, because of his crooked smile and his beautiful topaz eyes and most of all because he does not exist.

WHEN I PUT IT THAT WAY, WHO DOESN'T

Joseph · « **Reply #249 on:** 27 Nov 2008, 18:47 »

Quote from: peach on 27 Nov 2008, 17:08

i like twilight.
that's all there is to it ahah.
but i am a teenage girl in highschool who wishes to find a guy like edward...i mean, who doesn't want a tall guy with pretty hair and eyes, strong muscular body and as impossible to get as a fictional character could get?
make fun of me all ya want i already know i'm a nerd. =p

None of this makes much sense to me. Could you go into more detail? Why would we make fun of you for being a nerd? The people I know who like the books are as far away from nerdy as one could get.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Poll

Soooo...

Author Topic: Twilight Series (Read 181410 times)

Usopp

peach