So, a friend of mine gave me one of those jump drive blitzkriegs of music, and amongst the high-brow indie rock bands (like there is such a thing) was the Manchester Orchestra album "I'm Like A Virgin Losing A Child". It's one of very few albums that can seem more alive to me than life sometimes.
The final song, "Colly Strings" is the best one on the album, and the way I've interpreted it, it's about the singer's self admission to being gay. He's known it for a while and had already accepted it, though he's a bit world-weary after converting from Christianity and dealing with his dad's death. And the song itself is this really passionately stated love song addressed to a guy he's loved for a while, and the singer's admitting both that he's gay and in love with him. The guy he's singing to, though, is closeted, but to the singer, he's worth flushing his own church-boy image down the toilet.
That song opened up this elaborate image in my mind, and every time I listen to it, I feel his emotions, step by step. It's the first time in my life that I have not only felt gay, but felt like I was in love with this other man's soul. Thus the tears.
"My curly hair and a voting booth,
Confessingly, this is the first time I've loved you,
And God I mean, God I mean it, I hope that I mean it
'Cause like dying young, idols got the best of me,
Well don't stop calling, you're the reason I love losing sleep,"
It might be one of the best songs I've ever listened to.
