Okay, to tune your drums, first, you are going to need a drum key. That looks like this.
Now, what you want to do is loosen all of the tuning lugs on your drum till they are no longer exerting any tension on the drumhead. (ie, until it is possible to pull them out)
Now, you want to turn each lug about a half turn equally until you have the tone you want
It is best to do it in a criss-cross manner.
Let's assume you are tuning the snare drum, which would have eight lugs.
So you would follow each number (turning the drum key a half turn each time) and then after you've gone through once, give your drum a tap, keep doing this until you have the sound you want.
You can get a drum key at any music store for a buck or two.
It is VERY important they are equally turned, after you are done, tap the area near each tuning lug on the head to make sure each sound the same.
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I thought you might also need some tips on a proper way to grip your sticks, there are several ways to grip them, the best way for a beginner is this way...
Basically, grip the stick between your forefinger and your thumb, like this
You want your palms to be facing downwards, towards the drums. And your other fingers shouldn't be putting any pressure (they can be touching, but not putting any pressure) on the sticks, other than the two mentioned. It should be loose and allow for lots of rebound when you hit the drums/cymbals. Make sure to be holding the stick a decent distance up. Choking up farther will allow you more speed, lower will allow you more power.