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Author Topic: Yo' mama so fat  (Read 16468 times)

Siibillam-Law

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Yo' mama so fat
« on: 09 Feb 2009, 05:50 »

We need a yo' mama thread!


I'll begin with a half-assed one, hopefully you can all do better

Yo mama so old she sat behind Jesus in the fourth grade
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Sox

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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #1 on: 09 Feb 2009, 05:53 »

Your mother would think this is a terrible thread idea, and her standards are low.
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Sir Tacopuss

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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #2 on: 09 Feb 2009, 06:42 »

fail
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #3 on: 09 Feb 2009, 07:02 »

yo mama's so fat she broke her leg and hot bloody fat sprayed everywhere

some even got on the mayor
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #4 on: 09 Feb 2009, 07:03 »

NOT THE MAYOR
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Quote from: Emilio
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #5 on: 09 Feb 2009, 07:03 »

Someone just post the achewood where Phillipe is talking dirty with the dudes and lock this thread, someone.
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Quote from: Emilio
power metal set in the present is basically crunk

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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #6 on: 09 Feb 2009, 07:30 »

Yo mama so fat she's going to have serious health problems down the line.
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Ozymandias

Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #7 on: 09 Feb 2009, 08:27 »

Yo' mama so ugly she had some plastic surgery and she looks alright now, I guess.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #8 on: 09 Feb 2009, 08:29 »

Yo mama is so fat that she had to pay for two airline seats and this sparked off deep-seated self-esteem problems that had laid dormant since she was a somewhat overweight child,  and when she got home she took a shotgun into the bath with her, put on a Joni Mitchell record and blew her brains out all over the wall and now you are an orphan and being beaten and molested daily in a foster home where nobody cares for you and you cannot possible escape from.
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Quote from: Emilio
power metal set in the present is basically crunk

Ozymandias

Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #9 on: 09 Feb 2009, 08:38 »

Yo' mama so redundant she's yo' mama.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #10 on: 09 Feb 2009, 08:40 »

You guys destroyed a perfect thread that should have ended after my first post. I hope you're happy with yourselfs.
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Ozymandias

Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #11 on: 09 Feb 2009, 08:42 »

Yo' mama destroyed a perfect thread that should have ended after my first post. I hope you're happy with yourselfs.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #12 on: 09 Feb 2009, 08:43 »

Sorry you are not a mod darryl.

Maybe you are not talking about Don Caballero enough.
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Quote from: Emilio
power metal set in the present is basically crunk

Wolf

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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #13 on: 09 Feb 2009, 11:26 »

Sorry yo Mama's not a mod darryl.

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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #14 on: 09 Feb 2009, 12:35 »

Yo mama so fat she will one day die pathetically and tragically of a heart ailment, and you will be forced to have her lifted out of the house via crane a la Gilbert Grape. Along the misery of having a dead mother, the crane will also break under the strain of her immense weight, and she will plummet through the floor, destroying the structure's integrity and leaving you homeless, because the insurance company refuses to cover dead fat mothers falling off of cranes. You will become hooked on crack, and anorexic, out of fear of winding up like your mother. Eventually, you will die alone and unloved in an alley, where your body will be discovered 3 weeks later.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #15 on: 09 Feb 2009, 14:04 »

Sorry yo mama says you're adopted, Darryl.

ps i hope this is not true it would be very awkward
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #16 on: 09 Feb 2009, 14:08 »

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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #17 on: 09 Feb 2009, 14:22 »

yo mamas so old she fell down and broke her hip, luckily she had life alert and was able to get an ambulance to come and pick her up.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #18 on: 09 Feb 2009, 14:29 »

Yo' mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #19 on: 09 Feb 2009, 14:51 »

Yo momma teef so yella when she smiles traffic slows down.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #20 on: 09 Feb 2009, 15:26 »

Yo' momma so fat the guys at Dunkin' Donuts want to cut her off but the shithead manager won't let 'em.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #21 on: 09 Feb 2009, 15:28 »

Seriously man, they're all like "you see the size of that lady who comes in here all the time?  Jesus christ man, she must be what, 200kg?  Something like that.  That's just not healthy man, I don't feel comfortable contributing to her health situation at all" and the manager is all like "YOU'RE NOT PAID TO THINK, YOU'RE PAID TO SELL DONUTS, NOW SELL SOME FUCKING DONUTS YOU FUCKS"
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #22 on: 09 Feb 2009, 15:28 »

yo mamma's so fat that someone else has already made the absurdist post I would have made so I guess now I'll just say yo mamma jokes aren't terribly funny. I mean, I have heard some hilarious ones, and I quite liked that hawking one, but, you know, why do you want to dump a whole bunch of junk down in a thread someplace? Wouldn't the world be much more fun to live in if people got really jazzed about everything they read because people got really thrilled about writing only things that they thought people would dig and man, I need a new avatar and I wish there was someway I could make my avatar the first two seconds of 'Heart Of The Sunrise' because that would be great.



p.s. man fuck you est for making shit funny and trying to post when I'm trying to post
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #23 on: 09 Feb 2009, 15:30 »

They're thinking about some kind of strike, but they're not in a union and they're on minimum wage so what can they do really?
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #24 on: 09 Feb 2009, 15:32 »

James I am just tellin' it like it is.  Maybe his momma should rotate Dunkin' Donuts stores or something so they don't feel so bad.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #25 on: 09 Feb 2009, 15:34 »

I mean, if she wants to be fat that's one thing.  But when her problem starts to affect other people's lives she's got to maybe start thinking about the situation and being a little more respectful of other people's circumstances.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #26 on: 09 Feb 2009, 15:39 »

Yo' mama so fat she got her owna Area Code.

Oh yeah, when I wanna visit her, I just look up 87S**T!

Oh snap.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #27 on: 09 Feb 2009, 15:51 »

Your mother is so fat that in the near future when extremely obese women become sexually desirable as defined by the mainstream media, she will appear on the cover of various lewd magazines in very little clothing.

Then again, yo mama so fat that even a lotta clothing is a little clothing.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #28 on: 09 Feb 2009, 16:05 »

Yo mama's so fat I rolled over twice and I was still on top of her
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Christophe

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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #29 on: 09 Feb 2009, 16:09 »

Yo mama's so fat, she put every steamroller company out of business
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #30 on: 09 Feb 2009, 16:18 »

Your mother is really not all that fat at all, she just holds herself to an unrealistic standard due to the media's constant and ongoing presentation of unhealthily thin women as the ideal of feminine beauty.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #31 on: 09 Feb 2009, 16:39 »

Pardon me Harry, but I would have to disagree.  Bitch is fat.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #32 on: 09 Feb 2009, 16:42 »

She's not fat Estaben, she's womanly.
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Eris

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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #33 on: 09 Feb 2009, 17:09 »

She's Curvy
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #34 on: 09 Feb 2009, 17:27 »

She's morbidly obese.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #35 on: 09 Feb 2009, 17:33 »

Yo mama so fat I stand next to her to look thin.

It works, too.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #36 on: 09 Feb 2009, 17:56 »

She's Thick
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #37 on: 09 Feb 2009, 18:06 »

yo momma so fat she achieved nuclear fusion, went supernova, and ate herself into a black hole after she ate that one last Twinkie.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #38 on: 09 Feb 2009, 19:07 »

To quote Dovey, yo' mama so fat she got two myspace accounts.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #39 on: 09 Feb 2009, 19:29 »

Yo' mama is so fat that she can no longer bear to look at herself in the mirror, no longer button the top of her pants.  She ties a sweater around what used to be her waist so that nobody can see the fly from which a distended, stretchmarked belly balloons.  She faces slight resistance from the doorframe against her drooping, engorged saddlebags, and has to ignore the stares as she goes about her daily, sedentary business.  Her office job doesn't help her weight.  She is a telemarketer, and a bad one at that - whenever anybody hangs up on her, she cannot help but shovel into her mouth yet one more handful of cheesy, salty snacks that she keeps in a Costco bucket underneath the desk. 

Yo' mama is so fat that in her cubicle she has thousands and thousands of Cathy cartoons papering the walls that peel slightly from the fomcor in the humidity - having Cathy tell her that ack, she doesn't fit into her swimsuit anymore, either makes her feel infinitesimally better about herself.  With the advent of the internet, she began using search engines to find images of those with impossibly perfect bodies - the movie stars, the porn stars, and the photoshopped alike. 

Yo' mama is so fat that when she gets home from work that night, she thinks of how papa left.  You left her too, you know - not in the same way, but everyone left her just the same.  She sighs when she looks at the wedding photo (everyone looks so happy) that she still keeps on the mantle, and fingers the colt pistol in her meaty hands, and tosses it nimbly between shaking, sausagelike digits.

Yo' mama is so fat that she puts the muzzle in her mouth, and her swollen finger pulls flaccidly at the trigger.
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Ozymandias

Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #40 on: 09 Feb 2009, 19:32 »

Yo' mama so fat, they had to cut off wide swaths of fat to put her in a coffin.
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phooey

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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #41 on: 09 Feb 2009, 19:35 »

Yo' mama's so fat that it actually has more to do with class and genetic predisposition so please stop calling her boom boom booty-ass cry at night and the children can hear her through the paper thin walls and they're sad that mommy is broken
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #42 on: 09 Feb 2009, 19:39 »

Yo' mama so fat they put the swathes of fat into another, smaller coffin.  Kind of like a baby coffin, only full of fat.  A lady passing by who didn't know your momma started crying because she thought it was a lady who died in childbirth being buried with her baby in a coffin by her side.

Someone told her what the deal was and she snickered a little before catching herself and saying "oh, I mean uh, that's so terrible" and leaving before she started laughing again.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #43 on: 09 Feb 2009, 19:56 »

Yo mama so fat that when she gave birth to you it took the doctors 3 days to dig you out.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #44 on: 09 Feb 2009, 19:59 »

Yo' mama so fat that I love her very much, and I just want you to know that I'm not trying to replace your dad, but I'd like for us to at least be friends.  Do you want to go miniature golfing tomorrow, sport?
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #45 on: 09 Feb 2009, 20:06 »

Your mother is a nice lady, and you are very lucky to have her.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #46 on: 09 Feb 2009, 20:10 »

Yo' mama so fat that I love her very much, and I just want you to know that I'm not trying to replace your dad, but I'd like for us to at least be friends.  Do you want to go miniature golfing tomorrow, sport?

This is why it was a good thing this thread wasn't locked.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #47 on: 09 Feb 2009, 20:13 »

Yo' mama so ugly we going to have to amputate.
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #48 on: 09 Feb 2009, 20:37 »

yeah initially i agreed with darryl but now i think you guys deserve some kind of award for saving this thread
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Re: Yo' mama so fat
« Reply #49 on: 09 Feb 2009, 20:46 »

Your mother is very fat, but she's a seal, so it's natural and healthy. The fat insulates her from the viciously cold Antarctic oceans. Without it she would die.

Oh, and you're a seal also. In case you were wondering. Obviously, because your mother is a seal.
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