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Author Topic: Please, Just Let Me Die Already  (Read 184166 times)

iamiam

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2200 on: 12 Sep 2009, 07:24 »

Sometimes I wonder what a kid would be like who has literally never been lied to. Tell them right off the bat about sex, that there is no Santa, Easter Bunny or indeed, God. Every time they ask a difficult question, answer them as honestly as possible. I've often wondered what kind of child that would produce. It might mess them up more than lying to them about that stuff, I have absolutely no idea. I wonder if anyone's ever tried it.

i think that what matters most to a child's upbringing is the morality that parents teach them, and the love and care they receive.  not what commonplace fairy tales they do or don't tell their children.  the only way i could see a (western, middle-class) child not being told about 'santa' or 'the easter bunny' impacting them is in a negative way is because, as others said, they would feel confused and left out from their peers.  

unless a parent is indoctrinating their kids to believe santa truly exists, then it is not a lie.  it is a story and a myth that is enjoyed in childhood and eventually grown out of. parents also read their kids fairy tales of princes and princesses who fight dragons and then live happily ever after.  i haven't actually ended up finding prince charming (...yet) but does that make those stories "lies"?

there isn't any need to tell a five year old all the truths about sex.  there isn't any need to tell a child the harsh truth of every reality.  that is what growing up is for.  that's what your learning and experience is for.  you start off in the innocence and comfort of childhood and you slowly come to realize the truths of the world as you grow old enough to understand them and strong enough to face them.

i understand what you are trying to say with being as honest as possible with children, rather than indoctrinating them with bullshit or attempting to shield them from every truth.  but i really think you are confusing some of the normalcies of childhood innocence, imagination and gullibility for "lies".  
« Last Edit: 12 Sep 2009, 07:25 by iamiam »
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2201 on: 12 Sep 2009, 07:34 »

ITT:  Tommy wants to tell children all about sex.
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iamiam

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2202 on: 12 Sep 2009, 07:50 »

i'm thinking way too much about this but here are some more brief thoughts you can all feel free to skip over

 you already have a control group for measuring how people turn out based on whether they are lied to.  all children are lied to: some grow up to be horrible, some grow up to be wonderful.  it's the types of lies that they are told and their life experiences that truly shape them.  

raising a child from infancy who knows nothing but the truth about everything might make an interesting freak show, but i think it would teach us very little about human nature.  the only way for the experiment to be carried out is for them to be raised within a society that was entirely truthful about everything.  that sounds like something from a storybook or fable, or maybe a utopian (dystopian?) novel.  

some wacky hijinks would definitely occur, but i the most i could imagine that shaping someone is to make them particularly honest (mimicking society's behavior) or dishonest (realizing they can take advantage of others who are honest).  any other effects would simply be caused by their specific life experiences that would be shaped by the people and culture around them, which in this case would be entirely bizarre and unnatural.

studying children who are raised in households and societies with varying levels of honesty (which is actually doable) could be a fascinating study. but i really doubt that it would reveal any sort of key to understanding human nature.
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Quote from: meebo
[11:09] Darryl: MaiAda: the Beat Happening of the QC boards
[11:10] Darryl: so subtly subversive that not everybody can even tell
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2203 on: 12 Sep 2009, 08:07 »

the other thing about telling things to children that are not necessarily true is that the brains and thinking patterns of children are nowhere near as complex as adults, and don't get there until the child is in their teens. there are certain principles and ideas that children literally cannot process at all (ideas about morality, for example) until they reach a certain age. so not only can it be argued that "lying" to children doesn't do much permanent damage in the first place as they will simply figure it out as they age and develop the neurons necessary to process more complicated ideas, but it goes the opposite way too where trying to explain complicated life truths to a child would do little good at such a young age since they are physically incapable of making sense of most of them anyway.

there's also probably a massive study that could be done based on the idea of whether or not "lying" to children actually boosts their creativity and therefore intelligence, as it certainly requires more imagination and creativity and intelligence are pretty strongly related. who knows! isn't this thread supposed to be about relationships or something?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2204 on: 12 Sep 2009, 13:37 »

So basically what I am saying is that yeah it is a shitty thing, but you know it is a shitty thing, and you know you do it. And who knows? Maybe you think that is what you do and actually that is just your [mis]perception. Anyway, you are already doing better than the rest of the fuckers out there.

Oh yeah, I'm not particularly neurotic about it or anything and it only really seems to pop up in a relationships nowadays (and it has been so long since I've been in one of those that I don't even know if I do it anymore) so it's not a massive concern for me thankfully.

I plan to lie to my future children as little as possible. In fact I'm pretty sure the only thing my folks lied to me was the whole God thing and even then I can't really say whether or not I really believed it or whether I was just going along with what I was told. I mean my parents did do the whole Santa thing (well actually we had "angels" that put the presents under the tree) but I don't remember thinking a red-suited fat dude broke into my house to leave presents that were labelled as having come from my dad or aunties or whatever.

Yeah my parents were the same. I have no specific memory of actually believing in Santa. They told me he existed but they didn't go to a huge amount of trouble to maintain the illusion so I figured it out pretty quickly
« Last Edit: 12 Sep 2009, 13:39 by Hat »
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2205 on: 12 Sep 2009, 15:12 »

Children should be encouraged to show imagination, and to learn critical thought; and then, crucially, shown how to decide which is applicable in a given situation.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2206 on: 13 Sep 2009, 14:06 »

edit: fuck you, fuck you and you can stay!










« Last Edit: 14 Sep 2009, 17:50 by Masterbainter »
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2207 on: 13 Sep 2009, 14:34 »

For some reason the world will not truly exist with man, without this.

Can I flame your poor grammar? Really quite difficult to read.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2208 on: 13 Sep 2009, 16:40 »

but i really doubt that it would reveal any sort of key to understanding human nature.


This is because human nature is really difficult to illustrate. Because outside of biological drives, human nature does not exist.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2209 on: 13 Sep 2009, 18:31 »

For some reason the world will not truly exist with man, without this.

Can I flame your poor grammar? Really quite difficult to read.

man that sets a dangerous precedent because I know i don't want people getting up in my grill just because I parse my clauses like dogshit and maybe care about verb agreement a little more than I care about professional football

but on the other hand I think I had a panic attack trying to read that sentence so you do what you feel is best
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power metal set in the present is basically crunk

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2210 on: 13 Sep 2009, 19:22 »

at this point I'm tempted to begin writing all my posts as if they were translated literally from latin, just to spite you all.
(now I am tempted to embark upon writing like having been translated out of latin, in order for all to be spited)

on the other hand, fuck that's way too much work. and his english was pretty hard to understand.
« Last Edit: 13 Sep 2009, 19:25 by A Shoggoth on the Roof »
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2211 on: 13 Sep 2009, 22:03 »

So the pharmacist at my local place is really really hot. I have a crush on him, I think! I assume he's got a girlfriend or something, but it wouldn't hurt to chat him up, right? The problem is that I only see him once a month when I am in to pick up refills of my crazy drugs.

What is the least awkward way to flirt with someone who is giving you chemicals that keep you sane?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2212 on: 13 Sep 2009, 23:47 »

This is because human nature is really difficult to illustrate. Because outside of biological drives, human nature does not exist.

what about 'the human condition' don't tell me that doesn't exist either

at this point I'm tempted to begin writing all my posts as if they were translated literally from latin, just to spite you all.
(now I am tempted to embark upon writing like having been translated out of latin, in order for all to be spited)

holy shit look at that participle structure
« Last Edit: 13 Sep 2009, 23:51 by Hat »
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power metal set in the present is basically crunk

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2213 on: 14 Sep 2009, 00:01 »

Depends on what you mean by the human condition. If you mean that we all have fears and are capable of reason but often function irrationally and we want our children to grow up and have a better (better is subjective) life than we did/do, then yes, it does. If you mean that all people are greedy and there are certain activities that are just wrong and we all feel guilty about particular things and we are all just here waiting to find out what comes next, well, then no, it doesn't.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2214 on: 14 Sep 2009, 00:17 »

I swear I have to double check my english essays to make sure i don't have a bunch of awkward having been's and shit like that. whatevr, latin is totally rad.

and calenlass you should either walk in and sing crazy on you or try and find a question to ask him that'll get him to start talking to you. I dunno, something not too out-of-the-blue, maybe try asking if he's going to medical school or something like that.
« Last Edit: 14 Sep 2009, 00:20 by A Shoggoth on the Roof »
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2215 on: 14 Sep 2009, 08:04 »

Don't ask him if he's going to medical school.  That'll just come off as insulting, because he went to pharmacy school instead and was probably made fun of a lot by the med students.  Just asking him how it's going while smiling a lot.  Seriously, that's all it takes for guys.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2216 on: 14 Sep 2009, 09:26 »

Don't forget being made fun of by the real grad students.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2217 on: 14 Sep 2009, 09:34 »

Since I don't tend to mix with pharmacy school students, but do with med students, I feel the chain of making fun of goes:

real grad students->med students->pharmacy students->???

Shit rolls downhill.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2218 on: 14 Sep 2009, 09:45 »

Yeah, that's pretty much it. The Pharm students won't tell you this, but their education is 6 years of schooling which includes both their BS and PharmD degrees. So while you and I went through 4 years of undergrad and however many years of grad school they are done with everything in 6 god damn years.

Plus they are really fucking stupid.

I make sure to tell them this when I invariably wind up with 1/2 -> 2/3 of a class of them while TAing general micro.



And before you ask, yes, I am incredibly bitter.
« Last Edit: 14 Sep 2009, 09:48 by Reed »
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Quote from: meebo
[22:49] Quietus: I'm personally imagining a white supremacist locked in his basement, furtively listening to Parliament on headphones
[22:49] Quietus: "Oh, lawd, why must them coons rock me so"

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2219 on: 14 Sep 2009, 09:57 »

Since I don't tend to mix with pharmacy school students, but do with med students, I feel the chain of making fun of goes:

real grad students->med students->pharmacy students->liberal arts majors, probably

Shit rolls downhill.

Eh?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2220 on: 14 Sep 2009, 12:31 »

Well, I think it would go more accurately:

real grad students->med students->pharmacy students->undergrads

And there's a hierarchy in the undergrads all to their own.  The funny thing is, I worked much harder for my music degree than for my physics degree, so...
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2221 on: 15 Sep 2009, 13:35 »

Hey ship thread,

Last night the sex was so good that she sent me an email today from work telling me that her dream right before she woke up this morning was about getting up and going into her kitchen and listening to NPR and hearing a report about the local couple who had just had the best sex of all time.  I think it is pretty awesome that my partner had a dream that we had made the news.  I'm pretty proud of that.

In less self-indulgent matters (OK maybe not really) I managed to do something really amazing over the past few weeks.  So the story of the current relationship I'm in started about 5 weeks ago, and was recently interrupted by my venture off to Burning Man.  This obviously was an issue for me and the new girl, because we are REALLY happy about each other and have full intentions of staying together for quite some time, but Burning Man is overflowing with sex and it was kind of an abrupt gear shift for me to think that suddenly I'd be going off to the playa and NOT having any sex at all.  After I took her to a Burning Man regional event and she got a sense for the kinds of freaks that came out to the desert, and the kind of energy that parties have out there, she expressed the strong desire to NOT be a limiting factor in my Burning Man experience, which we talked about until she basically came out and drove home to me that I had carte blanche as long as I didn't fall in love and come back totally not interested in her anymore (which I felt reasonably secure in promising at the time).

At Burning Man, I met an outstandingly attractive girl who was clearly interested in me, and after I explained my situation to her (and she responded very positively and explained that she didn't want anything even close to a relationship and was only interested in desert-exclusive trysts) we slept together a couple times and then parted ways (I didn't see her for a few days and then managed to say goodbye before she left).  It was basically a perfectly example of what my optimal desert encounter would look like: really hot girl has interest in good sex, makes clearly independent decision to engage in it with me, gracefully leaves it at that.  I got back to Philly, explained what had happened, and my relationship picked up right where it had left off and has since improved at the same rate that it had been.  There was barely the slightest faltering in the trajectory of our relationship and it has since shot back up to the dizzying heights it has been promising since I first met the girl.

What the hell, guys?  How am I this lucky?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2222 on: 15 Sep 2009, 13:57 »

Yeah, that's pretty much it. The Pharm students won't tell you this, but their education is 6 years of schooling which includes both their BS and PharmD degrees. So while you and I went through 4 years of undergrad and however many years of grad school they are done with everything in 6 god damn years.

Plus they are really fucking stupid.

I make sure to tell them this when I invariably wind up with 1/2 -> 2/3 of a class of them while TAing general micro.



And before you ask, yes, I am incredibly bitter.

That makes me so mad. They lead you to believe Pharmacy is OMG THE HARDEST THING EVER.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2223 on: 15 Sep 2009, 16:33 »

The only difficult thing about pharm is getting into the program.
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[22:49] Quietus: I'm personally imagining a white supremacist locked in his basement, furtively listening to Parliament on headphones
[22:49] Quietus: "Oh, lawd, why must them coons rock me so"

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2224 on: 15 Sep 2009, 18:33 »

What the hell, guys?  How am I this lucky?

You'll have prostate cancer at the age of 23.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2225 on: 15 Sep 2009, 18:40 »

Speaking of which, ain't it kinda rude to come in here and gloat? This is the "relationship, or lack thereof, advice thread" not "brag about how your sex life is better than everyone else's thread." Great sex is its own reward, there should be no need to rub it in the face of exactly those who are not getting laid, let alone laid well. It's kind of a dick move.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2226 on: 15 Sep 2009, 18:41 »

Some people like to kiss and tell.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2227 on: 15 Sep 2009, 18:42 »

That was a pretty big thing in high school I remember
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2228 on: 15 Sep 2009, 18:42 »

What the hell, guys?  How am I this lucky?

You'll have prostate cancer at the age of 23.

uh I don't think that's how prostate cancer works actually
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2229 on: 15 Sep 2009, 18:59 »

That was a pretty big thing in high school I remember

The only thing that would turn me off more to a practice is if someone said it was a pretty big thing in middle school.  Maybe frat houses, too.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2230 on: 15 Sep 2009, 19:08 »

Seriously high school sucks almost as bad as middle school

especially locker room bragging
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2231 on: 15 Sep 2009, 19:14 »

To be perfectly fair that was a lot more interesting than the philosophical musings that preceded it.

I mean I love you guys but still.

And this is from the guy who's like perpetuating 90% of the ennui on this board.
« Last Edit: 15 Sep 2009, 19:17 by KvP »
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2232 on: 15 Sep 2009, 19:18 »

What the hell, guys?  How am I this lucky?

You'll have prostate cancer at the age of 23.

uh I don't think that's how prostate cancer works actually

Yeah that was pretty much what I was going for. I am a failure at making jokes.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #2233 on: 15 Sep 2009, 20:24 »

People meet in the desert to have sex?
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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2234 on: 15 Sep 2009, 21:54 »

Only trifle.

Please, try to be a little more specific in the future.
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[22:49] Quietus: I'm personally imagining a white supremacist locked in his basement, furtively listening to Parliament on headphones
[22:49] Quietus: "Oh, lawd, why must them coons rock me so"

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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2235 on: 15 Sep 2009, 22:53 »

Just popping in to heartily approve of the new thread title.
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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2236 on: 15 Sep 2009, 23:29 »

Seconded
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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2237 on: 15 Sep 2009, 23:31 »

Just popping in to heartily approve of the new thread title.

is this that 'irony' the kids are talking about?
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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2238 on: 16 Sep 2009, 00:07 »

Just popping in to heartily approve of the new thread title.

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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2239 on: 16 Sep 2009, 00:51 »

Just popping in to heartily approve of the new thread title.

is this that 'irony' the kids are talking about?

Seconded
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It's a roasted cocoa bean, commonly found in vaginas.

Johnny C

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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2241 on: 16 Sep 2009, 02:12 »

do you think this is how pointless threads are born
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Bastardous Bassist

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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2242 on: 16 Sep 2009, 11:34 »

There used to be a point?
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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2243 on: 16 Sep 2009, 13:13 »

I am happy with the new title.
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StaedlerMars

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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2244 on: 16 Sep 2009, 13:48 »

I stopped reading this thread until the title changed.

I think the change is having an undesired effect.
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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2245 on: 16 Sep 2009, 14:16 »

Just popping in to heartily approve of the new thread title.

is this that 'irony' the kids are talking about?

Seconded

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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2246 on: 16 Sep 2009, 15:11 »

The new title is always sound relationship advice.
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Johnny C

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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2247 on: 16 Sep 2009, 15:45 »

do you think this is how pointless threads are born

slide dog
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David_Dovey

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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2248 on: 16 Sep 2009, 17:36 »

Oh no he's stuck in a feedback loop

johnny is this yr way of asking for advice relating to yr unrequited love of slide dog?

Is this a cry for help?
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Re: Please, Just Let Me Die Already
« Reply #2249 on: 16 Sep 2009, 18:14 »

What is it, slide dog? What? Timmy fell down the old well?
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