THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

  • 28 Mar 2024, 10:45
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 ... 45   Go Down

Author Topic: Please, Just Let Me Die Already  (Read 267901 times)

pulpfiction21

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 246
  • Pool Zombies
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #150 on: 28 Feb 2009, 15:34 »

I've made out with at least 3 implants. People said that I couldnt do it.....but i did......Oh but I did.
Logged
Maybe I should eat my friend

Emaline

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,796
  • Drink, Drank, DRUNK
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #151 on: 28 Feb 2009, 15:49 »

Mine is in the middle on my chest. My tongue could probably reach it, but I should get it all gunky with my mouth goo.
Logged
little bitty bird, with the flaxen hair, can i help you with the weight of the cross you bear?

Emaline

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,796
  • Drink, Drank, DRUNK
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #152 on: 28 Feb 2009, 16:08 »

What's wrong with "mouth goo"?
Logged
little bitty bird, with the flaxen hair, can i help you with the weight of the cross you bear?

pulpfiction21

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 246
  • Pool Zombies
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #153 on: 28 Feb 2009, 16:41 »

you have an implant in the middle of your chest? what kind of reactions does that get?
Logged
Maybe I should eat my friend

Emaline

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,796
  • Drink, Drank, DRUNK
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #154 on: 28 Feb 2009, 17:13 »

Its just a tiny silver disc, looks like a little nail head sticking out of my chest. So far reactions have been pretty varied, from "oh wow that's awesome!" to "oh god..did it ever occur to you that that might be a bad idea? Ugh"
Logged
little bitty bird, with the flaxen hair, can i help you with the weight of the cross you bear?

Darkbluerabbit

  • Cthulhu f'tagn
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 500
  • SKULL BABIES!
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #155 on: 28 Feb 2009, 17:28 »

Pulpfiction, <a href="http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Microdermal>this is a microdermal.[/url]  They are sort of like piercings, and very different from the bags of saline to make boobs bigger kind of implant.  They are really cool, if you're into that sort of thing.
Logged

Gilead

  • Guest
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #156 on: 28 Feb 2009, 17:47 »

What's wrong with "mouth goo"?

Well maybe you're an alien in disguise and you drip alien slime from your mouth instead.

Also answer your dang pm so I can draw you.
Logged

MrBlu

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,543
  • I probably don't
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #157 on: 28 Feb 2009, 17:59 »

Its just a tiny silver disc, looks like a little nail head sticking out of my chest. So far reactions have been pretty varied, from "oh wow that's awesome!" to "oh god..did it ever occur to you that that might be a bad idea? Ugh"
Reading that explaination, it sounds like a really bad idea. Looking at one, it seems much cooler.
Logged
rather than place the blame on somebody's undeveloped irony sensor, let's just blame the internet, k?
My Last.FM

pulpfiction21

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 246
  • Pool Zombies
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #158 on: 28 Feb 2009, 20:09 »

Pulpfiction, <a href="http://wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Microdermal>this is a microdermal.[/url]  They are sort of like piercings, and very different from the bags of saline to make boobs bigger kind of implant.  They are really cool, if you're into that sort of thing.

Obviously I'm an idiot for not automatically thinking that that was the kind of implant that was being discussed. My mind just goes straight to boobs on everything.
Logged
Maybe I should eat my friend

Emaline

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,796
  • Drink, Drank, DRUNK
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #159 on: 28 Feb 2009, 21:32 »

I love my implant. It's pretty good damn awesome as hell. I want three more.




But anyway....

So obviously, I need relationship help. I have tried everything. Except going out in the real world and meeting people. Firstly, I live in a small town. There are no clubs, no venues, nothing. I live a block away from main street, which has three bars, I'm only 20, so I can't go to them quite yet. I'm socially awkward. I have a hard time talking to people, I can't start conversations with people on my own, and when people talk to me, I feel like they think I'm a horribly mean person, because I am terribly sarcastic, and can be a bit defensive.

So how should I go about meeting people?
Logged
little bitty bird, with the flaxen hair, can i help you with the weight of the cross you bear?

Juxtaposition

  • Emoticontraindication
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 53
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #160 on: 28 Feb 2009, 21:47 »

Dear relationship thread:

During the summer, I work with the Northwest Youth Corps, building trail and doing conservation work and such. We live in tents and work 40 hours a week and live in crews of 10 people between the ages of 16 and 19 for 5 weeks. And during my last session (fall), I fell head over heels for a guy on my crew. At the same time, we got to be really good friends. It was a very happy 5 weeks. We had many adventures and it was a very happy 5 weeks. But he's not a shy person, and I'm sure that if he liked me that way he would have said something... But it's been 4 months and I can't seem to get over him. I've been tempted to tell him a billion times but I really don't want to risk a strong friendship. At the same time, I kind of feel like I'm keeping secrets from a friend by not telling him and I simply can't move on. What should I do?
Logged

Masterbainter

  • FIGHT YOU
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 420
  • those times...
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #161 on: 01 Mar 2009, 08:25 »

how close(distance) are you from this guy? 

It's alright to have crushes on people and especially at the age range you stated.  It happens all the time.  The only persons fault for this crush is yourself though.   So take the initiative and ask him to a lunch(if he's close enough).  After maybe a couple platonic dates ask him to something a little more romantic if you still haven't figured out his feelings for you.  At the romantic dinner you'll figure it out.

He might be a little weirded out by your pursuit of him, but most likely he'll understand unless he's immensly immature.  I'm pretty sure he'll have no problem being you friend after you pursuit.  The only person ending the friendship will be yourself.  If you are shut down, it will be you who decides to keep talking to him on the level that you already have.  Will you? 

You just never know, maybe he's in the same boat you are.  Even the most outgoing people don't just ask people out they really like right away.   Take the risk and find out, or you will always wonder.(heartbreak from not getting with a crush is so much easier to deal with rather than months or years of wondering.)  It'll be your decision to conintue this "great friendship" afterwards.
« Last Edit: 01 Mar 2009, 08:30 by Masterbainter »
Logged
Hey guys let me tell you about my intercourses.

My intercourses, let me tell you about them.

Masterbainter

  • FIGHT YOU
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 420
  • those times...
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #162 on: 01 Mar 2009, 08:40 »


But anyway....

So obviously, I need relationship help. I have tried everything. Except going out in the real world and meeting people. Firstly, I live in a small town. There are no clubs, no venues, nothing. I live a block away from main street, which has three bars, I'm only 20, so I can't go to them quite yet. I'm socially awkward. I have a hard time talking to people, I can't start conversations with people on my own, and when people talk to me, I feel like they think I'm a horribly mean person, because I am terribly sarcastic, and can be a bit defensive.

So how should I go about meeting people?

It seems you may be struggling with not running into the same people in your immediate area that interest you.  If you want to possible meet new people though, just do it!  Make it a point to smile and talk to people.  Some stuff below about carrying a conversation.

You can say, "Hi, how are you doing?" (it doesn't have to sound sleezy)"Hello, how is your day"... 

There's some great help out there for people that struggle with the basic of real life interaction of conversations.  It's really so much simpler then you think it is, which is probably exactly why you feel you can't have one.

3 easy things to remember

1) keep it simple
2) listen and respond accordingly
3) SMILE!

if your goal is to meet new people in this small town you live in, then do it.  If you are looking for someone like yourself and don't think there is a reason to around your area, you will find yourself wondering, "Why can't I seem to be in a relationship".

People are so much easier than you think.  Just make is a goal to test the waters, there's lots of fish to attempt at catching!

http://www.wikihow.com/Have-a-Great-Conversation


Edit: Add: just had to throw in there... Grocery store, on your way to work, the gas station is perfectly fine places to practice these skills and even possibly make some friends!  I know small communities can seem daunting with their lack of clubs and such.  Just go and do it!
« Last Edit: 01 Mar 2009, 08:47 by Masterbainter »
Logged
Hey guys let me tell you about my intercourses.

My intercourses, let me tell you about them.

valley_parade

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,169
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #163 on: 01 Mar 2009, 08:46 »

I love that that guy is trying to give relationship advice.

Next thread: I tell you how to become a professional golfer.


(dear Emaline,

I could go watch Watchmen with you! None of my friends ever invite me to movies.  :oops: )
Logged
Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

Masterbainter

  • FIGHT YOU
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 420
  • those times...
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #164 on: 01 Mar 2009, 08:52 »

I love that the only thing you can post is demeaning someone trying to help.

(dear Emaline,

I could go watch Watchmen with you! None of my friends ever invite me to movies.  :oops: )

Gee.. I can't possibly figure out why that would be.   :roll:
« Last Edit: 01 Mar 2009, 08:55 by Masterbainter »
Logged
Hey guys let me tell you about my intercourses.

My intercourses, let me tell you about them.

valley_parade

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,169
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #165 on: 01 Mar 2009, 08:59 »

Mostly they're assholes.

And I'm broke and haven't been able to afford a movie in 3 years.
Logged
Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

Masterbainter

  • FIGHT YOU
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 420
  • those times...
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #166 on: 01 Mar 2009, 09:13 »

Yeah, going out to a good theatre is really expensive.  I live in Sodak.. A movie with large popcorn and a large soda is 30ish bux for two people, at our better theatre here.

Birds of a feather.
Logged
Hey guys let me tell you about my intercourses.

My intercourses, let me tell you about them.

Emaline

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,796
  • Drink, Drank, DRUNK
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #167 on: 01 Mar 2009, 09:16 »

VP, I'd love to go to Watchmen with you.


Masterbainter, I can't read your posts because of the way you talk about women in general. It disgusts me. I feel really sorry for the women in your life.
Logged
little bitty bird, with the flaxen hair, can i help you with the weight of the cross you bear?

valley_parade

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,169
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #168 on: 01 Mar 2009, 09:25 »

^That.

Also, buddy. I don't have a job. It's hard to afford a $30 night out when you're making like 10 bucks a week on a good week.
Logged
Wait so you're letting something that happened 10 years ago ruin your quality of life? What are you, America? :psyduck:

Masterbainter

  • FIGHT YOU
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 420
  • those times...
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #169 on: 01 Mar 2009, 09:31 »

I know, I was agreeing with how expensive they are.  In fact, I was pointing out I come from the lowest wage state and it's still fucking expensive.   :-P

Emaline, I'm sorry you feel that way.
Logged
Hey guys let me tell you about my intercourses.

My intercourses, let me tell you about them.

pulpfiction21

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 246
  • Pool Zombies
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #170 on: 01 Mar 2009, 09:34 »

Emaline, what keeps you in this small town that you live you?
Logged
Maybe I should eat my friend

Emaline

  • Lovecraftian nightmare
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,796
  • Drink, Drank, DRUNK
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #171 on: 01 Mar 2009, 10:12 »

Three things:

1. My year lease that I signed in February.
2. I can't afford anything else(minimum wage 40 hours a week is still minimum wage)
3. My job
Logged
little bitty bird, with the flaxen hair, can i help you with the weight of the cross you bear?

pulpfiction21

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 246
  • Pool Zombies
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #172 on: 01 Mar 2009, 11:15 »

leases suck. I lived in a small town till i turned 18 and then i got the fuck out of there. I left with whatever i could fit in my car, including an air mattress to sleep on and moved in with a guy (roommate) that i had met only once. Best thing I have ever done. My only advice for finding people that you might be interested in is move to a bigger city whenever you can. Go with nothing if you have to, create your own opportunities.

But then again I had no problem saying bye to everyone I knew in town including my job. I can understand why people might not be able to do that.

Logged
Maybe I should eat my friend

MrBlu

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,543
  • I probably don't
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #173 on: 01 Mar 2009, 21:12 »

boobs on everything.
I hear ya' man.
Logged
rather than place the blame on somebody's undeveloped irony sensor, let's just blame the internet, k?
My Last.FM

Krina

  • Larger than most fish
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 124
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #174 on: 02 Mar 2009, 02:55 »

Serious questions:

So I'm dating this new guy and apparently we're both equally smitten. I'm thinking I might actually want to keep him around for a little while so I don't want to blow it.

How soon is it appropriate to have sex? (I always used to do it pretty much straight away, but a cohort of people tells me that's NOT the way to do it, so I'm confused.)

How soon am I supposed to tell him I'm a nutcase? I don't feel comfortable with people knowing this as one of the first things about me, and I neither want to frighten him away nor lead him on. But my issues (I'm bipolar with pretty much crippling depression, have an anxiety disorder and a number of surrounding issues) are hugely impacting on my day-to-day life right now so I'm wondering how upfront I shoud feel obliged to be?

Thanks!
Logged

Jimmy the Squid

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,543
  • Feminist Killjoy
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #175 on: 02 Mar 2009, 04:17 »

Interesting!

The appropriate time to have sex (it is never while on a bus) is pretty much different for everyone. I know couples that had sex on the first date and are still going strong two years later and I've known couples who stayed together for several years without ever having sex (with each other at least). It is safe to say that it is ok to have sex after at least 4 dates, or one month of going out.

As for your psychological issues, they could be a pretty big thing and you may want to tell the dude before you have sex with his body. If you tell him after he may feel strange about it and freak out (because guys can be odd sometimes!) either way if anything eventuates from the whole thing he's going to find out eventually and may not appreciate you hiding it from him. Probably a good idea to bring it up when you guys have The Talk.*



*The Talk is where you have that really awkward conversation that essentially boils down to:
Are you my boyfriend?
Yep. Are you my girlfriend?
Yep.
...Good talk.

The Talk is usually a good place to bring up any concerns you might have like intended long term travel plans, mental or emotional difficulties and crazy ex-partners who have a penchant for axes and screaming.
Logged
Once I got drunk and threw up in the vegetable drawer of an old disused fridge while dressed as a cat

Josefbugman

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,102
  • Are you Sure thats wise sir?
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #176 on: 02 Mar 2009, 04:41 »

Just an open question to everyone but are relationships really that good? I mean I have only been in two (three if you count holding hands with a girl in year six) and I can't help but be vaguely confussed by it all, all I have ever felt in a relationship is "she is nice, hugging is nice, but at the moment I don't know if I love her and I feel like I am being suffocated by it all". Is that normal or is it just me?

Also I am kind of happy without a relationship and can sort of see myself being like this for a good long time, possibly forever, is that normal too?
Logged
Oddly enough the "oh no boobs!" box in the background of todays comic is my usual reaction.

pwhodges

  • Admin emeritus
  • Awakened
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,241
  • I'll only say this once...
    • My home page
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #177 on: 02 Mar 2009, 04:55 »

Basically, you won't get it till you get it - and you can't tell when that will be, nor make it happen faster or when you choose.  But yes, there is something to be got.  Meanwhile, just go with the flow.
Logged
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

pulpfiction21

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 246
  • Pool Zombies
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #178 on: 02 Mar 2009, 06:18 »


Also I am kind of happy without a relationship and can sort of see myself being like this for a good long time, possibly forever, is that normal too?

Nothing is wrong with that. lots of people don't ever get settled down with anyone, i mean look at the show Seinfeld.

Most people do date though, just for the sexual aspects of the relationship, but that is only necessary if you enjoy sex.
Logged
Maybe I should eat my friend

0bsessions

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,242
  • Change Is Taking the Seventh Dick
    • Quiki
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #179 on: 02 Mar 2009, 09:14 »

How soon is it appropriate to have sex? (I always used to do it pretty much straight away, but a cohort of people tells me that's NOT the way to do it, so I'm confused.)

Ignore your friends. Have sex when you feel like having sex. My girlfriend and I had sex the second time we ever even hung out and it was maybe an hour or two after our first kiss. Plus, we were completely drunk. Not the exact way I would recommend it, but with someone you really connect with, the timing is irrelevant, as long as you're sexually and emotionally compatible. Jump his bones whenever you feel like it, those people don't know what they're talking about.

[QUOTE[How soon am I supposed to tell him I'm a nutcase? I don't feel comfortable with people knowing this as one of the first things about me, and I neither want to frighten him away nor lead him on. But my issues (I'm bipolar with pretty much crippling depression, have an anxiety disorder and a number of surrounding issues) are hugely impacting on my day-to-day life right now so I'm wondering how upfront I shoud feel obliged to be?
[/quote]

More than two weeks, but less than a month and after you've had sex is my recommendation. As a man, I'm genuinely more inclined to let eccentricities and the like slip by if I'm getting good sex. That said, having that shit suddenly pop up on you AFTER you've already gotten used to someone can kill the flow of a relationship and I've never been one to appreciate it. You want to get most of that out of the way early in a rather clinical manner, around the same time you discuss how official you are. Don't go blurting all your secrets, as that's a major turn off, but you should at the least describe it as you've described it to us. Just let him know you've got some psychological issues, chief among them depression and anxiety, and be honest about the severity. If you think you feel strongly for the guy, it is very much your obligation to let him know exactly what he's getting into before he's emotionally invested, not after. I've had girls spring their major emotional issues on me after I'd already emotionally invested myself and it's a pretty big violation in my mind. Let him come to his own conclusions with a sufficient amount of evidence about your personality. Keeping it too long also runs the risk of him changing your mind after you yourself are too emotionally invested, thus hurting you more if he decides it's more than he can handle.
Logged
I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

Professor Snuggles

  • Only pretending to work
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,071
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #180 on: 02 Mar 2009, 10:43 »

So a girl I like spent the night the other day. She assured me she doesn't do one night stands, but she also has vella ex-boyfriend issues, and I have a habit of fucking things up.How do I male this work? Do I call her, or just wait to run into her, which I will probably do sooner rather than later? How long to wait before I call? How long do people wait before having sex? Two dates so far, and I mean I have some patience, but who knows how much.
Logged

pulpfiction21

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 246
  • Pool Zombies
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #181 on: 02 Mar 2009, 11:20 »

wow, second date and the girl already spent the night? That doesnt sound like someone who doesnt do one night stands to me.
Logged
Maybe I should eat my friend

Professor Snuggles

  • Only pretending to work
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,071
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #182 on: 02 Mar 2009, 13:22 »

You never went to college, did you.
Logged

Dazed

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,338
  • Straight outta Boston
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #183 on: 02 Mar 2009, 13:37 »

Staying over ≠ fucking.
Logged
I would probably be getting laid right now if it weren't for the Jews

pulpfiction21

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 246
  • Pool Zombies
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #184 on: 02 Mar 2009, 13:41 »

i'm in college right now. good job though.
Logged
Maybe I should eat my friend

Krina

  • Larger than most fish
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 124
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #185 on: 02 Mar 2009, 13:48 »

Thanks for your advice, guys. :) I really appreciate it.

I'm not sure what to do about your contradictive advice. I guess that The Talk is a good place to voice any concerns, I mostly have The Talks after having had sex at least once though. Maybe I'll just let him know that there is something I need to tell him and ask at want point he wants to know about it, I'm known to be pretty upfront about things.
Logged

Professor Snuggles

  • Only pretending to work
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,071
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #186 on: 02 Mar 2009, 13:55 »

i'm in college right now. good job though.

I'm trying to think up a witty comeback, something about how Brigham Young university doesn't count, or maybe criticizing your knowledge of women, but mostly it is not so much with the being worth it.
Logged

benji

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,063
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #187 on: 02 Mar 2009, 14:08 »

Thanks for your advice, guys. :) I really appreciate it.

I'm not sure what to do about your contradictive advice. I guess that The Talk is a good place to voice any concerns, I mostly have The Talks after having had sex at least once though. Maybe I'll just let him know that there is something I need to tell him and ask at want point he wants to know about it, I'm known to be pretty upfront about things.

If you're going to do that, you'd probably better be prepared that he's going to ask to know right then. And if he doesn't, be prepared that he's probably trying to respect your privacy, but at the same time obsessively reviewing all the worst case things it could be. If you tell him that there's something you'll need to discuss at some point, but don't discuss it then, expect him to spend the next several dates looking at you and thinking "she doesn't look like she used to be man, does she?"
Logged
This signature is intentionally left blank.

pulpfiction21

  • Bizarre cantaloupe phobia
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 246
  • Pool Zombies
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #188 on: 02 Mar 2009, 14:19 »


I'm trying to think up a witty comeback, something about how Brigham Young university doesn't count, or maybe criticizing your knowledge of women, but mostly it is not so much with the being worth it.

lol dont know what makes you think that BYU doesnt count as a college, or that I would ever go to BYU. Also, i'm in an almost 3 year relationship with my girlfriend, and we are about to have our first child.
Logged
Maybe I should eat my friend

Professor Snuggles

  • Only pretending to work
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,071
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #189 on: 02 Mar 2009, 14:29 »

Oh okay that explains a lot.
Logged

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #190 on: 02 Mar 2009, 14:47 »

Interesting!

The appropriate time to have sex (it is never while on a bus) is pretty much different for everyone. I know couples that had sex on the first date and are still going strong two years later and I've known couples who stayed together for several years without ever having sex (with each other at least). It is safe to say that it is ok to have sex after at least 4 dates, or one month of going out.

As for your psychological issues, they could be a pretty big thing and you may want to tell the dude before you have sex with his body. If you tell him after he may feel strange about it and freak out (because guys can be odd sometimes!) either way if anything eventuates from the whole thing he's going to find out eventually and may not appreciate you hiding it from him. Probably a good idea to bring it up when you guys have The Talk.*



*The Talk is where you have that really awkward conversation that essentially boils down to:
Are you my boyfriend?
Yep. Are you my girlfriend?
Yep.
...Good talk.

The Talk is usually a good place to bring up any concerns you might have like intended long term travel plans, mental or emotional difficulties and crazy ex-partners who have a penchant for axes and screaming.
I'm going to agree with Jimmy here. Some people, and this includes both men and women, see sex as the sort of thing that puts a foot in the doorway of a more significant sort of relationship. So as a general rule it helps to be honest before you get to that point, or else you might illicit resentment from the other party (he might think, for example, that you were "trying to get your hooks in him" and deceiving him) Conversely it could be no big thing to him. But your opinion on this matters just as much as his does. It has to feel right on both ends, no?

So give it some time if you have to. And for god's sake, don't use the word "nutcase". You may feel as though you're fucked up at the moment, but if you present yourself as such, and present these problems as these huge things that define you, it's going to be a turn off. Make it clear that you have these issues but that you are doing what you can to work through them. You don't want to give the impression that being with you means always being on your guard and always having the gloves on and having the utmost consideration for your mental state. That's not really a relationship, that's more of a... bomb scare, a hostage situation. Honestly if these problems define your life and you are not able to handle them day to day then it's probably advisable that you not get into a relationship, and find a good therapist. But if you think you can function, and have a good relationship in spite of these things (and lots of people can), then you need to emphasize that when you tell him. Say "I have problems x, y and z. I get sad and anxious a lot but when we're together I'm going to do my best to have fun with you and be happy." Don't say "I have problems x, y and z. I am totally crazy, I hope that's okay with you." Significant others have a certain obligation to support their partners but there's only so much they should be expected to do. They are not parents or psychiatrists. The point of a relationship ought to be the pursuit of happiness, not restoration of sanity.
« Last Edit: 02 Mar 2009, 14:50 by KvP »
Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

Krina

  • Larger than most fish
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 124
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #191 on: 02 Mar 2009, 16:12 »


If you're going to do that, you'd probably better be prepared that he's going to ask to know right then. And if he doesn't, be prepared that he's probably trying to respect your privacy, but at the same time obsessively reviewing all the worst case things it could be. If you tell him that there's something you'll need to discuss at some point, but don't discuss it then, expect him to spend the next several dates looking at you and thinking "she doesn't look like she used to be man, does she?"

Yeah, I shave twice every day to avoid the five-o'clock-shadow, I guess I'm a pretty convincing girl!

I guess I'll have to talk to him about it, I'll try to avoid the term "nutcase" although I often use terms like "nutcase" and "crazy" in a flippant way because I get some amusement out of it and sadly, amusement obviously isn't always abundant at my house. If things don't work out with the Scottich boy, I might try to find people who are into the whole "crazy" angle and who like sex with people in straightjackets, who knows!
Logged

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #192 on: 02 Mar 2009, 16:20 »

There seems to be widespread agreement on a negative correlation between mental health and sexual prowess. So you've got that going for you.
Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

0bsessions

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,242
  • Change Is Taking the Seventh Dick
    • Quiki
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #193 on: 02 Mar 2009, 16:53 »

Seriously. I cannot stress enough that sex with crazy girls is generally top notch sex.
Logged
I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

pen

  • Asleep in the boner patch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 782
  • Spaghetti!!!
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #194 on: 02 Mar 2009, 18:13 »

Is it better to be crazy or not good at sex?  I'm trying to decide how I want to be offended here...
Logged
Cross-dressing national monuments are always exciting.

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #195 on: 02 Mar 2009, 18:18 »

A happy medium must be struck.

Like, an agoraphobe who gives really good oral. I'd date that girl.
Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

Dazed

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,338
  • Straight outta Boston
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #196 on: 02 Mar 2009, 18:18 »

Hey now, in his defense, he never said that non-crazy girls can't be good at sex.
Logged
I would probably be getting laid right now if it weren't for the Jews

Guido Sarducci

  • FIGHT YOU
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 412
  • It'sa notta so bad...
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #197 on: 02 Mar 2009, 22:59 »

Yeah, I shave twice every day to avoid the five-o'clock-shadow, I guess I'm a pretty convincing girl!

I guess I'll have to talk to him about it, I'll try to avoid the term "nutcase" although I often use terms like "nutcase" and "crazy" in a flippant way because I get some amusement out of it and sadly, amusement obviously isn't always abundant at my house. If things don't work out with the Scottich boy, I might try to find people who are into the whole "crazy" angle and who like sex with people in straightjackets, who knows!

Krina--DO NOT refer to yourself as a nutjob or crazy or whatever except in your doctor's office if you need to. It is bad for their image of you no matter how funny it may seem. And it is bad for YOUR image of you. No mater how funny it may seem. Being BP and having anxiety issues do not make you a freak. It's a big enough issue without making it worse by driving away people who would otherwise think you'd be a valuable friend, neh? Besides. A better term is batshit insane.  :wink: And you can't have THAT term. I reserve its use for myself alone. :laugh:

Seriously. I cannot stress enough that sex with crazy girls is generally top notch sex.

Not true at all. Sex with genuinely well adjusted women is fucking awesome too. They might not degrade themselves for you, but they know what they want and THEY GO OUT AND GET IT.
« Last Edit: 02 Mar 2009, 23:02 by Guido Sarducci »
Logged
"If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't, I'll just respond, cleverly." Donald Rumsfeld

0bsessions

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,242
  • Change Is Taking the Seventh Dick
    • Quiki
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #198 on: 03 Mar 2009, 09:30 »

It seems reading comprehension has taken a dip here. Crazy women being top notch at sex and sane women being good at sex are not mutually exclusive statements.
Logged
I've decided to give up psychology and become a peacock
Quote from: Tommydski in Gabbly
JON MADE ME GAY

snalin

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,540
  • You may Baste me
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #199 on: 03 Mar 2009, 11:34 »

Seriously. I cannot stress enough that sex with crazy girls is generally top notch sex.

This is good advice.
Logged
I am a cowboy / on a steel horse I ride
I am wanted / Dead or alive
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5 6 ... 45   Go Up