Topic: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition (Read 53136 times)

the_pied_piper · « **Reply #50 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 19:04 »

Quote from: FourNineFoxtrot on 06 Mar 2009, 18:03

Traffic circles. It's like they were designed to torment me. I hereby rename Traffic Circles as "Centrifuges of Death!"

How to use a roundabout correctly

Note: flashing orange lights are indicators or blinkers. These are used on roundabouts.

Christophe · « **Reply #51 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 19:06 »

Inlander · « **Reply #52 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 19:15 »

Quote from: Kazukagii on 06 Mar 2009, 10:10

Yield signs. They're like indecisive stop signs. Either put a stop sign there or just let me turn dammit.

In Hobart, Tasmania, there's a crossroads in which one of the two intersecting roads has a stop sign on one corner, and the other road has a give way sign on one corner. I've been the passenger in a car on one road at this intersection, when there was also another car on the other road. Nobody had any clue who had right of way.

FourNineFoxtrot · « **Reply #53 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 19:15 »

Quote from: the_pied_piper on 06 Mar 2009, 19:04

How to use a roundabout correctly
Note: flashing orange lights are indicators or blinkers. These are used on roundabouts.

But... it's British. I'm American. Now I'm even more confused. Oh God, now I'm really gonna screw up next time I run into one of these. I'm probably gonna try to go left instead of right, and get intimate with the grill of a Hummer or something.

Now I'm going to die horribly on a traffic circle... excuse me, on a Centrifuge of Death! I won't say it's all your fault, but I will probably come back from the dead to haunt you, anyway. I'm just a jerk like that.

Alex C · « **Reply #54 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 19:33 »

Quote from: FourNineFoxtrot on 06 Mar 2009, 19:00

Also, what the hell is "legacy tech", and why should this be insulting or offensive? I'm aware that my motor vehicle operational competence is being called into question, I just don't know what the hell you said after that.

And now you know!

TLDR version: Legacy tech is just a bastardized version of the term legacy system: ie, an older computer system/application that more or less works fine for the needs of the user but sometimes proves problematic for others simply because it's a different from the newer standards being adopted. For example, Microsoft would love for you to consider XP to be obsolete, but it's really more of a legacy system. The stuff still works, and many people won't make the switch unless they're dragged along kicking and screaming. Whether the term should really be considered a pejorative is actually rather debatable.

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #55 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 19:37 »

FourNineFoxtrot · « **Reply #56 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 19:41 »

Thanks, Alex C!

See kids? You learn something every day. And knowing is half the battle. Or something.

Shit, my whole life is legacy tech.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #57 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 21:25 »

Galvanized iron plumbing.

High fructose corn syrup.

Freeway exits that come immediately after onramps so that outgoing and incoming traffic have to weave through each other.

Hard plastic clamshell packaging.

Non-bimetal sawzall blades.

The pull-string Band-Aid wrapper.

Kazukagii · « **Reply #58 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 21:37 »

Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 06 Mar 2009, 21:25

High fructose corn syrup.

Freeway exits that come immediately after onramps so that outgoing and incoming traffic have to weave through each other.

Not sure about the rest, but I sure as hell agree with the above two.

Also, while on the subject of things that don't exist, time for an obscure anime reference.

This shit adaptation of a great game should have NEVER existed

JD · « **Reply #59 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 22:04 »

This is green ketchup guys. GREEN KETCHUP!

Patrick · « **Reply #60 on:** 06 Mar 2009, 23:27 »

Quote from: Darkbluerabbit on 06 Mar 2009, 16:51

We should really just stick traffic circles in a lot of intersections. I see no reason why they are not much more common. You come to traffic circle, you enter traffic circle, you exit traffic circle at appropriate point. No stopping or wondering if you should stop. They're not great for really busy intersections, but in residential areas they are awesome.

You know, they tried this in my hometown back in California. But by 'installing a traffic circle' they meant 'put an ugly-ass concrete circle in the middle of the fucking road,' which people just skim by using the straightest line possible, often grazing it, which could potentially cause them to spin out or roll their big-assed SUVs. They didn't even put it at a 4-way stop intersection, it was just a 2-way stop to give way to traffic running on L Street.

Basically, this is a goddamn terrible idea if you do it the way I've seen it done. If you do it the way the Brits do on the motorway (except in the proper direction, lawl), you'll be fine, but there really isn't any way to do that in suburban America unless you enjoy arguing with homeowners about just how much of their front yard you're going to assfuck when you put in a circle wide enough to turn safely around at 15mph in any conditions.

the_pied_piper · « **Reply #61 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 06:05 »

Quote from: FourNineFoxtrot on 06 Mar 2009, 19:15

But... it's British. I'm American. Now I'm even more confused. Oh God, now I'm really gonna screw up next time I run into one of these. I'm probably gonna try to go left instead of right, and get intimate with the grill of a Hummer or something.

Now I'm going to die horribly on a traffic circle... excuse me, on a Centrifuge of Death! I won't say it's all your fault, but I will probably come back from the dead to haunt you, anyway. I'm just a jerk like that.

Well, the nice thing about roundabouts or traffic circles is that it doesn't matter which way round you go the rules are the same: give way on the driver's side; inside lane for more than half a rotation, outside lane for less than half.

plumbob78 · « **Reply #62 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 06:45 »

Quote from: Patrick on 06 Mar 2009, 23:27

put an ugly-ass concrete circle in the middle of the fucking road,

There's some like that here too. AND tehre are stop signs at the entrances/exits. Shit stupid.

Kylos · « **Reply #63 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 08:10 »

I live near this badboy. I avoid it at all costs.

Ladies and Gentlemen! Meet the Magic Roundabout! Definitely a Centrifuge of Death if ever I saw one.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_Roundabout_(Hemel_Hempstead)

the_pied_piper · « **Reply #64 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 08:29 »

That is the worst roundabout i have ever seen. Now i see why people have problems with them.

Gemmwah · « **Reply #65 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 09:27 »

That bastard roundabout is the worst thing. Ugghh.

imapiratearg · « **Reply #66 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 09:34 »

Quote from: Zombiedude on 06 Mar 2009, 22:04

I just threw up in my mouth a little.

valley_parade · « **Reply #67 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 09:58 »

Quote from: pwhodges on 06 Mar 2009, 02:46

Reliant Robin

It's pointed at one end, Paul! It makes for good spacecraft.

HellStorm · « **Reply #68 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 10:56 »

oval/square roundabouts

MrBlu · « **Reply #69 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 13:40 »

Quote from: Zombiedude on 06 Mar 2009, 22:04

This is green ketchup guys. GREEN KETCHUP!

I thought that was THE coolest thing, when I was 8 or 9.

Ballard · « **Reply #70 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 13:54 »

Quote from: Inlander on 06 Mar 2009, 19:15

In Hobart, Tasmania, there's a crossroads in which one of the two intersecting roads has a stop sign on one corner, and the other road has a give way sign on one corner. I've been the passenger in a car on one road at this intersection, when there was also another car on the other road. Nobody had any clue who had right of way.

The idea is that in Hobart, nobody has the right of way. You're all essentially stagnating by being there, counting down the sad moments 'till your unavoidable demise, so why bother moving?

Spluff · « **Reply #71 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 16:57 »

They clearly expected there to never be enough people in Hobart for there to be two people on the intersection at once.

bicostp · « **Reply #72 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 19:49 »

Quote from: Patrick on 06 Mar 2009, 12:36

Dude just do what we Californians do: California stop! Just roll through that motherfucker. You are moving significantly slower than you were going. So if you actually do need to stop you can still do it. But not a full stop, because fuck stopping unless you absolutely have to.

Or do the Providence Yield: Floor it without looking and let the main road yield to you!

plumbob78 · « **Reply #73 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 20:00 »

w00t Rhode Island!

Elizzybeth · « **Reply #74 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 21:01 »

Quote from: MrBlu on 07 Mar 2009, 13:40

Quote from: Zombiedude on 06 Mar 2009, 22:04
(pic)
This is green ketchup guys. GREEN KETCHUP!
I thought that was THE coolest thing, when I was 8 or 9.

Me too! That and the purple sunblock that turns invisible when you rub it in properly.

Dunxco · « **Reply #75 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 21:02 »

According to the blog where I stumbled across these monstrosities:

The “Underwear / Brief Safe” is an innovative diversion safe that can secure your cash, documents, and other small valuables from inquisitive eyes and thieving hands, both at home and when you’re traveling. Items can be hidden right under their noses with these specially-designed briefs which contain a fly-accessed 4″ x 10″ secret compartment with Velcro closure and “special markings” on the lower rear portion. Leave the “Underwear / Brief Safe” in plain view in your laundry basket or washing machine at home, or in your suitcase in a hotel room - even the most hardened burglar or most curious snoop will “skid” to a screeching halt as soon as they see them. (Wouldn’t you?) Made in USA. One size. Color: white (and brown).

Why was this created?!

celticgeek · « **Reply #76 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 21:15 »

Speaking of shit that should not exist.....

Spluff · « **Reply #77 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 23:48 »

That's actually quite a neat idea.

Devoid of class, but it would probably work.

Ballard · « **Reply #78 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 23:50 »

Hahaha what a place for a weed stash.

KvP · « **Reply #79 on:** 07 Mar 2009, 23:52 »

Yeah that is clever in a "we had to destroy the village in order to save it" kind of way.

Jace · « **Reply #80 on:** 08 Mar 2009, 00:50 »

Quote from: KvP on 07 Mar 2009, 23:52

Yeah that is clever in a "we had to destroy millions of people in order to have peace" kind of way.

I'm feeling a bit more WATCHMEN tonight.

valley_parade · « **Reply #81 on:** 08 Mar 2009, 06:02 »

Quote from: plumbob78 on 07 Mar 2009, 20:00

w00t Rhode Island!

I could do without Rhode Island. It's just minor-league sports teams and cheating exes.

Barmymoo · « **Reply #82 on:** 08 Mar 2009, 07:49 »

Guys. Peel your own goddamn potatoes. It is not a difficult concept.

Caspian · « **Reply #83 on:** 08 Mar 2009, 08:13 »

Quote from: Shadic on 06 Mar 2009, 17:03

And hell, this in general:

I know this car does scream "I am compensating for my small, pinky-finger sized penis" but honestly, these things are pretty much unbeatable off road. Not quite as useless as people think. Of course, it's pointless driving one around the city.

I mean, dammit. If there's trees, go there. If you're in/around water, go there. Short of being in the middle of a really busy street, you can pretty much pee anywhere. I hate these things.

Ã¶de · « **Reply #84 on:** 08 Mar 2009, 08:47 »

Tough shit disabled people or other people that have problems with peeing when they're not near a toilet.

Caspian · « **Reply #85 on:** 08 Mar 2009, 09:09 »

Heh, true! I did kind of forget about that. Oh well.

raoullefere · « **Reply #86 on:** 08 Mar 2009, 19:06 »

Quote from: Barmymoo on 08 Mar 2009, 07:49

Guys. Peel your own goddamn potatoes. It is not a difficult concept.

Er, these are not simply peeled potatoes; they're new potatoes, i.e. immature potatoes*. Not the same thing as what you buy in a bag. For one thing, far as I know, they don't store as well as mature potatoes do, or at least don't taste like new potatoes after storage. You either get 'em in season (spring and early summer only) or in a can. No other options.

As for peeling, new potatoes are better with the skin on...but that doesn't can well, I guess, or perhaps not everyone likes them this way (or they're being subbed with prepared mature potatoes). Hence the peeling.

*Or are supposed to be. I've heard of some chicanery in this.

Ballard · « **Reply #87 on:** 08 Mar 2009, 19:16 »

Quote from: Caspian on 08 Mar 2009, 08:13

I mean, dammit. If there's trees, go there. If you're in/around water, go there. Short of being in the middle of a really busy street, you can pretty much pee anywhere. I hate these things.

Christ, what's with the misplaced anger? I can understand confusion at these things but what could ever make you hate a portable urinal?

Kevin Barnes · « **Reply #88 on:** 08 Mar 2009, 20:35 »

When he was a kid I bet all the other kids would use those things and throw them at him. It's the only explanation.

Vern LaVey · « **Reply #89 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 03:34 »

Quote from: Kevin Barnes on 08 Mar 2009, 20:35

When he was a kid I bet all the other kids would use those things and throw them at him. It's the only explanation.

Yes, but without these handy dandy items they might go back to just pissing directly on him. He should be glad they exist. Unless, of course, he'd rather have it warm.

JD · « **Reply #90 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 11:55 »

Lets move on people

tania · « **Reply #91 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 12:27 »

oh no way, i would totally buy those! nothing would cheer me up more after slicing myself open and bleeding everywhere than sticking myself back together with bacon. that and i'm super curious now about the free toy.

raoullefere · « **Reply #92 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 13:06 »

Drat. None of my bandages ever come with a free toy.

Patrick · « **Reply #93 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 14:04 »

Oh man, if you accidentally slice your finger open, you can slice it shut, too.

MrBlu · « **Reply #94 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 14:39 »

Isn't that kinda like pooping where you eat? Or eating where you poop...?

Barmymoo · « **Reply #95 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 14:55 »

I wasn't specifically objecting to the potatoes in that picture, I just couldn't find a photo of the peeled potatoes we sell at work. I also don't understand ready-mashed potato. For one thing it tastes nasty.

I have strong feelings about potatoes.

JD · « **Reply #96 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 14:58 »

Quote from: tania on 09 Mar 2009, 12:27

oh no way, i would totally buy those! nothing would cheer me up more after slicing myself open and bleeding everywhere than sticking myself back together with bacon. that and i'm super curious now about the free toy.

You can buy it here. I still think it is kind of dumb.

Patrick · « **Reply #97 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 15:05 »

Quote from: Barmymoo on 09 Mar 2009, 14:55

I have strong feelings about potatoes.

You do live like inches from Wales.

raoullefere · « **Reply #98 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 16:24 »

Quote from: Barmymoo on 09 Mar 2009, 14:55

I wasn't specifically objecting to the potatoes in that picture, I just couldn't find a photo of the peeled potatoes we sell at work. I also don't understand ready-mashed potato. For one thing it tastes nasty.

I have strong feelings about potatoes.

I'm going to reveal how far in the boonies I must live. I have never, ever seen what you are talking about (the only peeled potatoes one can buy here (so far as I know) are the canned new potatoes). Unless ready-mashed is near Wales-speak for potato flakes, i.e. instant. Those I have could tell* many curious tales about. But not here.

edit: could tell. Have could tell. Egad, I am going insane. Maybe I have crazy-making bugs in my ~~breed~~ ~~brood~~ this hair on my face.

Inlander · « **Reply #99 on:** 09 Mar 2009, 17:39 »

Quote from: Patrick on 09 Mar 2009, 15:05

Quote from: Barmymoo on 09 Mar 2009, 14:55
I have strong feelings about potatoes.

You do live like inches from Wales.

Ireland is the potato country, man. Wales is all about leeks.

Which leads me to conclude that the Irish Sea must be made out of leek-and-potato soup.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Shit that should not exist-- inanimate objects edition (Read 53136 times)