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Author Topic: Sexiness Evaluation  (Read 12918 times)

kitschykat

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Sexiness Evaluation
« on: 28 Mar 2009, 23:28 »

You are talking to a cute member of whatever sex you are attracted to. It's been going well. Finally he/she gives you an appraising look up and down, raises their eyebrow, gazes deeply into your eyes, and with a smirky smile asks, "So...how 'bout you come back to my place and I'll show you my 'buttoncollection.' "

This person actually owns a button collection but this is not immediately made apparent.

Reactions?
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Tybalt

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #1 on: 28 Mar 2009, 23:58 »

(。´_●`)ノ

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est

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #2 on: 29 Mar 2009, 00:17 »

This is not really what the Discuss forum is for.  Moving to general.
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Slick

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #3 on: 29 Mar 2009, 00:22 »

That person is beautiful. I hope they sent you home with just a kiss on the cheek.
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Gilead

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #4 on: 29 Mar 2009, 00:34 »

I suffer a priaprism.
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Nodaisho

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #5 on: 29 Mar 2009, 00:39 »

"...Wait, what?"

Probably with a few failed attempts at speaking first.
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clockworkjames

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #6 on: 29 Mar 2009, 00:39 »

I would beat them to death with my shoes.
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Professor Snuggles

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #7 on: 29 Mar 2009, 01:47 »

Probably I assume they are talking about their clitoris and get all psyched for a brief second, then get the fear and decide to go home and jerk it instead.
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Jace

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #8 on: 29 Mar 2009, 01:49 »

I immediately understand that this is a trap. I pull out my twin swords "Pain" and "Suffering" and assume a battle stance. Using my epic dexterity, I spin under a slash to the head with her vicious claws and slice her leg off with Pain while simultaniously parrying her other claw using Suffering. I do a quick kick upwards to her head as she falls over from the loss of her leg. As she is now unconcious I move for the coup de grâce and celebratory corpse fucking.
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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #9 on: 29 Mar 2009, 03:38 »

I enjoy a good button collection!
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Dollface

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #10 on: 29 Mar 2009, 04:46 »

What kinds of buttons?
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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #11 on: 29 Mar 2009, 05:15 »

I hope to hell it's not a collection of Benjamin Button memorabilia.
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axerton

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #12 on: 29 Mar 2009, 05:25 »

Would you like to come back and see my collection of buttons... they're made of human skin.
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Josefbugman

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #13 on: 29 Mar 2009, 06:47 »

My reaction would probably be "oooh Buttons!" And try and get interested in them. If they prove to be really dull buttons I politely tell them this, ask if we can do something more fun for both of us and then chat.

If they are attractive and you have been able to hold a conversation with them and they are attractive who are you to judge what they do in their spare time.
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Avec

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #14 on: 29 Mar 2009, 08:53 »

Life is too short to not see someone's button collection.
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Hat

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #15 on: 29 Mar 2009, 09:27 »

I would be inherently suspicious because through social programming, only the most fucking deranged or forceful women actually try to pick up a dude by being that forward, and I have fucked too many deranged and/or forceful women to actually be after that in a casual hookup

In fact, even if they were being dead serious about having a button collection, the fact that they'd be willing to admit that to a stranger they are obviously attracted to already sets off warning bells, I bet she likes to dress up like Keanu Reeves and act out the matrix trilogy in bed, I am not interested in that
« Last Edit: 29 Mar 2009, 09:32 by Hat »
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tania

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #16 on: 29 Mar 2009, 09:30 »

i really can't see myself judging anyone for having a button collection on account i am a massive nerd who hangs out on an internet message board all day.
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Hat

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #17 on: 29 Mar 2009, 09:33 »

I am a massive nerd who hangs out on a message board all day and I still think having a button collection would be something you would bring up after sex

Things you bring up BEFORE sex:

Maybe you play some guitar
You like <band>
You can swear in Portuguese

Things you bring up AFTER sex.

Button collection
How many hours a week you spend posting on internet message boards
that nasty rash

HOPE THIS HELPS
« Last Edit: 29 Mar 2009, 09:35 by Hat »
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Quote from: Emilio
power metal set in the present is basically crunk

tania

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #18 on: 29 Mar 2009, 09:40 »

oh, right. touché.
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Emaline

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #19 on: 29 Mar 2009, 09:51 »

My mom is afraid of buttons.
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snalin

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #20 on: 29 Mar 2009, 09:52 »

I'd drool and go "uuuuuuh"

Then all my blood would rush from my head and I would collapse in a heap on the floor.
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valley_parade

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #21 on: 29 Mar 2009, 09:53 »

I could swear I posted in here, did it magically get deleted?

I guess if they're cool buttons, I would go for it.
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Emaline

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #22 on: 29 Mar 2009, 10:02 »

I'd drool and go "uuuuuuh"

Then all my blood would rush from my head and I would collapse in a heap on the floor.


Blood parrty?

(Ugh)





Also, man, if someone I liked was all "Hey come over and check out my *blank* collection" if I liked them, and they are inviting me to come hang out, why the fuck not? This thread poses a dumb question. "Would you hang out with a person you like if they asked you to?" Yes.
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Johnny C

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #23 on: 29 Mar 2009, 10:37 »

(。´_●`)ノ

t (–_– t)
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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #24 on: 29 Mar 2009, 11:39 »

I'd probably say "Sure, that sounds great."
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kitschykat

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #25 on: 29 Mar 2009, 11:48 »

I would be inherently suspicious because through social programming, only the most fucking deranged or forceful women actually try to pick up a dude by being that forward, and I have fucked too many deranged and/or forceful women to actually be after that in a casual hookup

In fact, even if they were being dead serious about having a button collection, the fact that they'd be willing to admit that to a stranger they are obviously attracted to already sets off warning bells, I bet she likes to dress up like Keanu Reeves and act out the matrix trilogy in bed, I am not interested in that

Keanu Reeves would probably be so unresponsive in bed.  Also, spoons should not serve as sextoys.
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benji

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #26 on: 29 Mar 2009, 11:58 »

Button collection is not something that I'm overly excited about at first hearing, but you never know. I'm enough of a nerd that I might find it interesting, especially if she can tell me about something about the buttons that might relate them to other subjects I might find more interesting. Still, I hear what Hat is saying; usually, showing off your [whatever] collection isn't something people offer upon first meeting unless there's a pretty good chance the other person is specifically interested. I would think the wiser tactic on her part would be to bring up the button collection, and if I showed interest offer something like "maybe we can get together and I can show it to you sometime."
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Blue Kitty

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #27 on: 29 Mar 2009, 12:18 »

I'd go since its someone you are kind of attracted to.  Even if your not a fan of buttons you could come over, check out his/her buttons, and then move on to something else.
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nobo

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #28 on: 29 Mar 2009, 12:38 »


Keanu Reeves would probably be so unresponsive in bed.  Also, spoons should not serve as sextoys.

quiet you, Keanu Reeves is a saint.
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kitschykat

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #29 on: 29 Mar 2009, 12:40 »

if by saint you mean completely devoid of human emotion
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Liz

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #30 on: 29 Mar 2009, 12:46 »

If Keanu Reeves and Stephen Baldwin did a movie together it would either be the best or worst movie ever made. I cannot decide.
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tania

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #31 on: 29 Mar 2009, 12:48 »

if by saint you mean completely devoid of human emotion

to be fair, he does kind of have the my-daughter-and-girlfriend-died-within-two-years-of-each-other thing going on.
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sean

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #32 on: 29 Mar 2009, 12:50 »

i would just hope those buttons involve cool punx buttons so i could be all like ooh a his hero is gone button fancy!
« Last Edit: 29 Mar 2009, 12:57 by Objects inside Clouds »
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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #33 on: 29 Mar 2009, 13:11 »

If Keanu Reeves and Stephen Baldwin did a movie together it would either be the best or worst movie ever made. I cannot decide.

Stephen Baldwin, despite being in the greatest movie ever (Usual Suspects), has apparently gone all extreme-conservative-born-again-christian on us. So, I have to think it would be the worst movie.
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Ceiling Cat

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #34 on: 29 Mar 2009, 14:23 »

I would ask them if they'd like to see my stamp collection instead.
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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #35 on: 29 Mar 2009, 14:38 »

Button fetish
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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #36 on: 29 Mar 2009, 15:47 »

If Keanu Reeves and Stephen Baldwin did a movie together it would either be the best or worst movie ever made. I cannot decide.

Worst. By far the worst movie ever made. Please don't encourage these two to ever be on screen together. Ever.

If some guy did that and asked me to see their button collection, I'd give them the same look and ask them if they wanted to see my yarn stash.
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Inlander

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #37 on: 29 Mar 2009, 16:11 »

Yes but "yarn stash" sounds dirty.
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MrBlu

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #38 on: 29 Mar 2009, 17:52 »

"So it's not time to get naked?"


Life is too short to not see someone's button collection.
I'm with this guy.
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jeph

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #39 on: 29 Mar 2009, 18:50 »

button fisting
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Johnny C

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #40 on: 29 Mar 2009, 19:32 »

soul button cockin'
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Inlander

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #41 on: 29 Mar 2009, 20:08 »

Tanglin' my buttons all up in your yarn stash.
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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #42 on: 29 Mar 2009, 20:15 »

RAPE KILL CONSUME
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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #43 on: 29 Mar 2009, 20:18 »

Maybe ask her to push your buttons ho ho ho....
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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #44 on: 29 Mar 2009, 20:44 »

"Nice buttons, wanna fuck?"
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Hat

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #45 on: 30 Mar 2009, 00:24 »

If some guy did that and asked me to see their button collection, I'd give them the same look and ask them if they wanted to see my yarn stash.

See I would go home with a girl who wanted to show me her yarn collection because I have always wanted to learn how to crochet but have no idea how to learn unless I bone a woman who will teach me.
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Quote from: Emilio
power metal set in the present is basically crunk

Inlander

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #46 on: 30 Mar 2009, 00:51 »

Just remember that yarn condoms are much less effective than normal condoms.
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kitschykat

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #47 on: 30 Mar 2009, 09:08 »


See I would go home with a girl who wanted to show me her yarn collection because I have always wanted to learn how to crochet but have no idea how to learn unless I bone a woman who will teach me.
[/quote]

make friends with a local old lady. I guess you could bone her too if she's cheeky
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Jimmy the Squid

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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #48 on: 30 Mar 2009, 09:18 »

It turns out that we have at least three very attractive ladies who are totally into yarn on this forum. I would let them show me their yarn collection anyday.

Rawr.
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Re: Sexiness Evaluation
« Reply #49 on: 30 Mar 2009, 09:24 »

Four and five. Those are all I can think of at the moment!
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