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Author Topic: Bedazzled thread  (Read 28304 times)

Zingoleb

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #250 on: 04 Jul 2009, 12:43 »

Someone plants a bomb on your person. You explode, splattering everything with yourself. Congratulations! You are one with the universe.

I wish I had a cello.
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J-cob9000

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #251 on: 04 Jul 2009, 12:48 »

You receive a cello but are incapable of learning how to play it.

I wish I had some fireworks.
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MrBlu

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #252 on: 04 Jul 2009, 13:16 »

Click. Click. Boom.

I wish I could clean myself instantly.
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rather than place the blame on somebody's undeveloped irony sensor, let's just blame the internet, k?
My Last.FM

Zingoleb

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #253 on: 04 Jul 2009, 13:23 »

You can - by falling into a tub of acid.

I wish I could win the lottery.
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MarkTBSc

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #254 on: 04 Jul 2009, 15:44 »

You win the lottery and spend the rest of your life never being loved by anyone again. They all want you for your money. Even your existing friends become corrupted by the desire for it and you end your life in the only respite possible, living penniless and alone on the street.

I wish I had a really good cheeseburger right now.
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Unique Quarks - For when Antimatter just isn't destructive enough.

Avec

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #255 on: 04 Jul 2009, 15:52 »

















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Cernunnos

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #256 on: 04 Jul 2009, 17:54 »

man perhaps my avatar needs a good bedazzling
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Finin

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #257 on: 04 Jul 2009, 18:47 »

You get to the last bite of your delicious burger, only to find a finger, you have just eaten your parents.



I wish I could grow an afro.
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ViolentDove

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #258 on: 05 Jul 2009, 05:03 »

 :-(

 :mrgreen:

 :police:

 :?

 :angel:


I wish I had a donkey with a good sense of direction I could ride home from the pub whilst drunk.
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With cake ownership set to C and cake consumption set to K, then C + K = 0.  So indeed as one consumes a cake, one simultaneously deprives oneself of cake ownership. 

Jace

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #259 on: 05 Jul 2009, 06:48 »

You have a donkey, but he is overweight, you do not know if people are insulting you or commenting on the weight of your donkey when you ride it down the street.

I wish I could paint faster.
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Rizzla: Man... I'm only interested in girls who've had penises.
Rizzla: Fuck
Rizzla: I mean girls who have penises.

Patrick

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #260 on: 05 Jul 2009, 07:12 »

Everything you paint looks like a damn Jackson Pollock painting, but you crank out like 30 in an hour.

I wish the Ergs! hadn't broken up.
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My long-dead band Troubador! licks your gentlemen's legumes on the cheap

MrBlu

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #261 on: 05 Jul 2009, 16:56 »

They didn't! Instead they now church out crap Bad Brains style!

I wish I didn't have to leave to mop... >.>
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rather than place the blame on somebody's undeveloped irony sensor, let's just blame the internet, k?
My Last.FM

Thomas Edison

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #262 on: 06 Jul 2009, 04:36 »

You don't! You have to leave to sweep!


I wish it was payday.
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Quote from: Patrick
I am pretty miserable at going down on a lady

Quote from: Khar
I can't really work out in my head why it's not cool to bone your sister as long as you don't make babies

phooey

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #263 on: 06 Jul 2009, 07:59 »

Paid in anal fissures resulting from buttsex with your superiors - paid handsomely by the hour, and my, you've worked overtime, champ ;0]

I wish I weren't so affected by the heat
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Van donk III

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #264 on: 06 Jul 2009, 08:52 »

you're not, you exist in a digitally cooled iron lung.

I wish my favourite shoes would last forever

Patrick

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #265 on: 06 Jul 2009, 09:55 »

Your shoes last forever because they are covered in radioactive material from Chernobyl, rendering them unwearable, ever.

I wish I had the shiny Honda Rebel bike that I want oh so badly.
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My long-dead band Troubador! licks your gentlemen's legumes on the cheap

NotAFanOfFenders

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #266 on: 15 Jul 2009, 12:21 »

you get it, but for some reason, NO CANADA FOR YOU.
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Zingoleb

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #267 on: 15 Jul 2009, 21:56 »

I wish you knew how ot play this game.
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Ballard

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #268 on: 16 Jul 2009, 09:13 »

You finally catch on, but it's not really cool anymore. The thread is, for all intents and purposes, dead, and you make an ass of yourself.
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I'm like the boy who cried "you guys are faggots"

NotAFanOfFenders

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #269 on: 16 Jul 2009, 14:25 »

well, fuck.
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Patrick

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #270 on: 16 Jul 2009, 15:41 »

GENE, YOU DICK, MAKE A WISH
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My long-dead band Troubador! licks your gentlemen's legumes on the cheap

Ballard

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #271 on: 17 Jul 2009, 06:24 »

I wish to be pretty, oh so pretty, and witty, and gay.
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I'm like the boy who cried "you guys are faggots"

Caleb

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #272 on: 17 Jul 2009, 07:16 »

You ARE suddenly pretty and witty and gay!

Suddenly you feel the need to burst out in song!

"I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

I feel charming,
Oh, so charming
It's alarming how charming I feel!
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I'm real."

...and then a Puerto Rican gang member (annoyed that you stole his sister's song and thinking that you are mocking her by singing it) sneaks up on you and stabs you in the kidney.  You die cursing the catchy lyrics of Stephen Sondheim.

I wish could stop and start time at will  (the only thing not effected by this would be me).
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Yayniall

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #273 on: 17 Jul 2009, 10:20 »

You can stop and start time and will but can't do anything cool with your power.

I wish it was the 60s, I wish I could be happy, I wish, I wish, I wish that something would happen

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Josefbugman

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #274 on: 17 Jul 2009, 14:45 »

Something does happen, you get transported back to an alternative 60's where the red army is sweeping all across the worlds (ala the communist campaign in red alert 2) your are happy to find it is the 60's but become very unhappy when a soviet attack dog jumps up and attacks your face.

I wish that I could have electricity based super powers.
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Oddly enough the "oh no boobs!" box in the background of todays comic is my usual reaction.

Christophe

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #275 on: 17 Jul 2009, 15:03 »

You do, and you decide that the first thing you want to do is go out for a swim. Oops.

I wish it wasn't so hot in my room at night when trying to sleep.
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Ballard

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #276 on: 17 Jul 2009, 22:47 »

You are no longer overheating at night. Your bed stands atop an ice shelf off the coast of Greenland. Your penis shrivels up and retreats into the folds of your body for warmth.
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I'm like the boy who cried "you guys are faggots"

NotAFanOfFenders

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Re: Bedazzled thread
« Reply #277 on: 19 Jul 2009, 08:08 »

You should make a wish now.
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