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Poll

THE MOMENT OF THE WEEK:

Marigold and Dale - WOW Stalking!
- 3 (4.9%)
"May the Oppossums grow fat on your flesh."
- 6 (9.8%)
Are you jealous I went on a date?
- 0 (0%)
"I'm sorry! I'll always cherish the time we had together!"
- 7 (11.5%)
"You want the paper?" "Just the sports section, please."
- 8 (13.1%)
"How the hell are things MORE awkward?"
- 0 (0%)
NOT DURING WORK HOURS.
- 3 (4.9%)
Seriously. It's OK. Let it go.
- 0 (0%)
I WILL LET YOU TOUCH MY BOOBS IF YOU'LL SHUT UP.
- 13 (21.3%)
Boob touching!
- 8 (13.1%)
"I hate to interrupt your reverie, but..." SHHHH!
- 13 (21.3%)

Total Members Voted: 53


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Author Topic: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010 (1771-1775)  (Read 92585 times)

peterh

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Quote from: Is it cold in here?:
Some things are most easily explained by the hypothesis that it's just a fictional comedy with things exaggerated for comic effect. However, this explanation is too boring for us to accept it just because it's true.

Mr_Rose

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #101 on: 13 Oct 2010, 11:09 »

Gee, I thought that was going to link to a clip of the wonder twins there...
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Carl-E

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #102 on: 13 Oct 2010, 13:48 »

I stand flummoxed.

Better sit down, then!
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #103 on: 13 Oct 2010, 13:50 »

One alot would not trouble me much. But what the delightful blog Heranje linked fails to mention is that alots apparently prefer to roam across essays in thundering herds.

 I had a writing teacher who said, "It isn't a lot unless you can put a house on it."

Note: that "delightful blog" hyperboleandahalf, is one of those top 5 nerdygirl comics (along with QC) mentioned in a recent thread.
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raoullefere

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #104 on: 13 Oct 2010, 14:14 »

Gee, I thought that was going to link to a clip of the wonder twins there...
Nah, I'm bringing out the rough stuff.

Angus, from an elite education, with the power to needlessly encourage arguments
Faye, from the Deep South, with the power of insecurity-driven bitchiness

When their powers combine, they form: Captain Awkward! A strange being with the ability to make any social interaction unbearably uncomfortable.

(You know, I love how they screwed the southern hemisphere on that show. Sure, Africa got the Earth guy, but South America got the little weasel with the awesome power of—Heart! When all else failed, I suppose he [or she—that's how definite an impression the character made on me] could hug, hug, hug the trouble away. And Australia, of course, got a kick in the crotch—no heroes, but as best I recall from the few times I watched, some of the villains sounded like they were Aussie.)

And the more I look at the strip, the less certain I am we can rule out they haven't met up at the shop before this—Angus could be referring to continuing awkwardness that he's just not worked himself up to comment on, simply because of, well, you know.

Such is the power of Captain Awkward.

I stand flummoxed.
Carl's right—sit down, maybe with a towel or newspapers under you. The flummox can loose the torrents at any time.
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peterh

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #105 on: 13 Oct 2010, 14:25 »

I stand flummoxed.
Better sit down, then!
I sit flummoxed.
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Some things are most easily explained by the hypothesis that it's just a fictional comedy with things exaggerated for comic effect. However, this explanation is too boring for us to accept it just because it's true.

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #106 on: 13 Oct 2010, 14:34 »

RE: Captain Planet: I can't be the only one that thought Gaia was kinda hot, can I?

...I guess I was into older women even back then. Huh.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #107 on: 13 Oct 2010, 14:57 »

Dictionaries are intended primarily to record current usage, not original meaning.  So I looked up "lot" in: the Shorter Oxford - which gave the meaning "a great deal" in 11th position out of 11; Chambers - which gave that meaning 12th out of 18; and the Oxford Dictionary of English (their most recent large one-volume dictionary) - which gave that meaning in first position.  Me, I've used it that way all my life, and never been misunderstood.

You're fighting a losing battle, guys!
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #108 on: 13 Oct 2010, 14:58 »

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #109 on: 13 Oct 2010, 15:33 »

You know, I love how they screwed the southern hemisphere on that show. Sure, Africa got the Earth guy, but South America got the little weasel with the awesome power of—Heart! When all else failed, I suppose he [or she—that's how definite an impression the character made on me] could hug, hug, hug the trouble away. And Australia, of course, got a kick in the crotch—no heroes, but as best I recall from the few times I watched, some of the villains sounded like they were Aussie.
While America gets two heroes of course. I guess Ted Turner doesn't think that Australia* exists,  or is a continent, or has an environment (it's just a desert filled with crazed bikers, right?), or something. Or maybe he just hates Aussies, which would be quite understandable since he had to fend off Alan Bond, a fairly wretched specimen, and a bunch of our yachties during the 1977 America's Cup defence. And the tiresome crims wouldn't take no for an answer, but kept coming back until they could tuck the cup in their swag.

*Or Antarctica for that matter, if the Planeteers were supposed to represent the continents.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #110 on: 13 Oct 2010, 18:36 »

Marigold will react to the date by doing the following:

Trying to date Dale.    - 17 (25.8%)
Trying to date Sven.    - 15 (22.7%)
Trying to date Marten.    - 1 (1.5%)
Trying to date Jimbo.    - 4 (6.1%)
Keep chasing Hanners around her apartment.    - 13 (19.7%)
Asking for the sports section from Momo.    - 3 (4.5%)
Feed waffles to the asps.    - 3 (4.5%)
Having an elationship!    - 10 (15.2%)

Total Voters: 66
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #111 on: 13 Oct 2010, 19:50 »

There's five planeteers so you can have a Five-Man Band.  Two continents were going to get screwed because no one wants the Sixth Ranger.

Nobody lives full-time in Antarctica, much less is native to Antarctica.

North and South America are two completely separate continents.  You had to have an American in there (couldn't use a Native American, the American kid had to be the one everyone related to most because it's an American show), and since this was end-of-the-cold-war you had to have a Russian.  For racial diversity, you don't want a third white kid from Australia, and no American kid has even HEARD of Aboriginals, right?  So you have the Hispanic chick from South America, the black dude from Africa, and the Asian dude from... um, Asia.
(Is there a reason South American chick can't be from, say, Peru, and Asian dude from Japan or China, and African dude from, oh, Nigeria?)

*Note: opinions expressed in this post are not necessarily held by the poster.
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reeners

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #112 on: 13 Oct 2010, 20:03 »

I just love how it's common knowledge that when you see someone yell in all caps and bolded outside of the panel, it's definitely Dora.

Also, today's comic reminded me of this one: http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1663

yay first post! ~reeners
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reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeners

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #113 on: 13 Oct 2010, 21:43 »

Well, that's ONE way out of an awkward conversation.

I laughed hard.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #114 on: 13 Oct 2010, 21:48 »

Faye defeats awkwardness with the power of Boobs (way stronger than Heart)!

Nobody lives full-time in Antarctica, much less is native to Antarctica.
Penguins. Antartica should have been represented by a penguin. With the power of eating fish. Kind of like Scooby-Doo, only environmentally conscious.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #115 on: 13 Oct 2010, 21:51 »

Gee, I thought that was going to link to a clip of the wonder twins there...

Pretty sure any time I hear "With their powers combined," I instantly think of Captain Planet. I vaguely remember watching it and feeling indoctrinated when I was about 6 or 7. I think I just wanted to watch Chip & Dale Rescue Rangers instead.

Re: the comic: If boob-touching suggestions don't work, I find kissing the person to work just as well. Shuts 'em up and you get some nice makeout time in there.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #116 on: 13 Oct 2010, 21:52 »

Is it just me or has Faye gotten a bit thiner lately?
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #117 on: 13 Oct 2010, 21:55 »

According to her Twitter feed, she's been working out.
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Carl-E

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #118 on: 13 Oct 2010, 22:03 »

Goooooo, Angus! 

Mr. I'm-so-desperate-to-make-things-works-out-I'll-screw-it-up-worse. 

I still do that. 
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Magravan

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #119 on: 13 Oct 2010, 22:20 »

So... if Angus talks to much he gets to feel boobs? For some reason, I think that his text boxes are going to get pretty huge in the future :)
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #120 on: 14 Oct 2010, 01:39 »

I think Cosette burning down CoD is both the most likely and the most Dora-angering catastrophe right now.




So... if Angus talks to much he gets to feel boobs? For some reason, I think that his text boxes are going to get pretty huge in the future :)
I fail to find a counterargument.
« Last Edit: 14 Oct 2010, 01:43 by snubnose »
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Carpe Diem

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #121 on: 14 Oct 2010, 01:54 »

Angus: take the deal. 

Feel up, then shut up.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #122 on: 14 Oct 2010, 02:52 »

And the more I look at the strip, the less certain I am we can rule out they haven't met up at the shop before this—Angus could be referring to continuing awkwardness that he's just not worked himself up to comment on, simply because of, well, you know.

This was a possibility. But today, we learn that apparently, they haven't met since the Dora Incident.
« Last Edit: 14 Oct 2010, 07:59 by peterh »
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Some things are most easily explained by the hypothesis that it's just a fictional comedy with things exaggerated for comic effect. However, this explanation is too boring for us to accept it just because it's true.

Mad Cat

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #123 on: 14 Oct 2010, 03:29 »

Better 4th panel:

Faye: What do I have to do to keep your mouth from talking?
Angus: ...

4.5th panel: [Faye and Angus in  passionate embrace, fervently face sucking]
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #124 on: 14 Oct 2010, 04:39 »

What's next, the pretend I missed my period? WHAT WILL ROUND OUT THIS IMAGINARY LIFE EXPERIENCE?!?

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1119
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #125 on: 14 Oct 2010, 05:29 »

I'll take that deal, or if my wife is reading, I will agree to talk about feelings etc if I get the opportunity to .....
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #126 on: 14 Oct 2010, 06:17 »

It's not nice of Pintsize to eavesdrop on their conversation.  :-)

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raoullefere

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #127 on: 14 Oct 2010, 07:54 »

For once, a QC strip that features something that has actually happened to me. Only not in an alleyway. Still, I can attest it's a very effective ploy.

What's next, the pretend I missed my period? WHAT WILL ROUND OUT THIS IMAGINARY LIFE EXPERIENCE?!?

http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1119

By George, I'd forgotten about that. Since Jeph doesn't repeat gags not involving flatulence, that's out, I suppose. Maybe Hanners will activate the bfbot and program it to go threaten to beat Sven up for messing with its girl. (Or maybe Winslow will hijack the thing and do it for real. It's possible he'd got some trigger, just like the C'thuloid thing, to 'defend' Hannelore from the crusty gender. You know, us.)

There's five planeteers so you can have a Five-Man Band.  Two continents were going to get screwed because no one wants the Sixth Ranger.

Nobody lives full-time in Antarctica, much less is native to Antarctica.

North and South America are two completely separate continents.  You had to have an American in there (couldn't use a Native American, the American kid had to be the one everyone related to most because it's an American show), and since this was end-of-the-cold-war you had to have a Russian.  For racial diversity, you don't want a third white kid from Australia, and no American kid has even HEARD of Aboriginals, right?  So you have the Hispanic chick from South America, the black dude from Africa, and the Asian dude from... um, Asia.
(Is there a reason South American chick can't be from, say, Peru, and Asian dude from Japan or China, and African dude from, oh, Nigeria?)

*Note: opinions expressed in this post are not necessarily held by the poster.
Dude. I'm not a fan by any means, but even I know the Asian GIRL was from Asia. That's why the South American whatsit's gender is unclear to me; two guys, two girls and HEART! I suppose it's possible the character was supposed to be transgender.

Don't remember them playing in a band, either. (You may be joking, but there was a time that it seemed nearly every group of animated kids had a band, no matter how ludicrous the idea seemed, so I can't rule it out.)

And the more I look at the strip, the less certain I am we can rule out they haven't met up at the shop before this—Angus could be referring to continuing awkwardness that he's just not worked himself up to comment on, simply because of, well, you know.

This was a possibility. But today, we learn that apparently, they haven't met since the Dora Incident.
No, today we learn that they haven't discussed Dora's meltdown until now. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that there's nothing really conclusive. Faye perhaps couldn't leave the counter on Angus's last visit.
« Last Edit: 14 Oct 2010, 08:03 by raoullefere »
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #128 on: 14 Oct 2010, 08:33 »

*Couldn't find a good clip of Conway Twitty's version


**is somewhat embarrassed that I know there IS a Conway Twitty version...

So... if Angus talks to much he gets to feel boobs? For some reason, I think that his text boxes are going to get pretty huge in the future :)

Do we go with the idea that they'll get the size in proper proportion to the amount of boob he gets to feel?  Because in the case of Faye's boobs, the text boxes will cover the comic completely.




Just sayin...
« Last Edit: 14 Oct 2010, 08:40 by Blyss »
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peterh

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #129 on: 14 Oct 2010, 08:46 »

No, today we learn that they haven't discussed Dora's meltdown until now. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that there's nothing really conclusive. Faye perhaps couldn't leave the counter on Angus's last visit.

Again, this is technically possible. But it IS becoming more far-fetched each minute.
Er, each comic.
Which means each day.
Well.

Anyway, it's not important enough to loose sleep over.

In other news, I wonder if Faye considers this winning in both ways: she gets Angus to fondle her boobs, and to shut him up.
I doubt if it's going to work, though... methinks Angus is a trifle too anxious for that right now.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #130 on: 14 Oct 2010, 09:13 »

The last panel today reminds me of Marten's complaint at the end of this.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #131 on: 14 Oct 2010, 09:21 »

I dunno!  Have you known many guys too anxious to fondle boobs when invited to?  Never a problem I've observed.
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peterh

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #132 on: 14 Oct 2010, 09:36 »

I dunno!  Have you known many guys too anxious to fondle boobs when invited to?  Never a problem I've observed.

Not many, but definitely more than one (which, according to a recently discussed definition, is 'a lot').
I'd have been one.
It depends on the occasion and the situation, but when, in a situation like this, it is offered as "a way to shut one up", as in "I am willing to let you fondle my boobs if that is what it takes to shut you up", I'd definitely have been too anxious.
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Some things are most easily explained by the hypothesis that it's just a fictional comedy with things exaggerated for comic effect. However, this explanation is too boring for us to accept it just because it's true.

Heliphyneau

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #133 on: 14 Oct 2010, 09:48 »

Bahaha!  Excellent punchline.  I like that in panel 5, Angus' hands, raised in a gesture of capitulation, are in approximately the position they'd be in for boob grabbage.  ^_^  It's kind of a coin toss whether he'll go for it or be all "Are you sure?  I mean, I want to touch them, but I don't want you to feel like you have to offer yourself --" at which point Faye would bonk him on the head.

I kind of want next strip to conclude with someone walking in (out?  since they're in the alley) on them with Angus still latched onto Faye's boobs.  Of course, now that I've typed that out, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.  >_>

I just love how it's common knowledge that when you see someone yell in all caps and bolded outside of the panel, it's definitely Dora.

Also, today's comic reminded me of this one: http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1663

yay first post! ~reeners

Dora is definitely the first culprit who springs to mind, but it helps that the context is that they're in CoD and she's the boss.  Also, welcome!

Faye defeats awkwardness with the power of Boobs (way stronger than Heart)!

Behold, the power of Boobs.  Certainly sounds more fun than the power of cheese.  And if Faye's are as epic as Sven says -- oh Angus, they say the first taste is free . . .  Although, if actual tasting is involved, they might want to find an alternate location since the alley is a teeny bit public and Faye doesn't even have the broadsword to fend off other would-be boob enthusiasts.  Aaaaand now I'm picturing a zombie apocalypse, except instead of brains, the zombies crave -- yeah, I'm just going away now.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #134 on: 14 Oct 2010, 11:39 »

Faye's certainly loosened up a bit. Maybe she finally give in and bought one of these.

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #135 on: 14 Oct 2010, 12:32 »

It's not nice of Pintsize to eavesdrop on their conversation.  :-)

shocked meter is shocked  :-P

also it somehow went up during the strip, so heavens know what's going on inside.
« Last Edit: 14 Oct 2010, 12:45 by srpilha »
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #136 on: 14 Oct 2010, 13:18 »

Faye's certainly loosened up a bit. Maybe she finally give in and bought one of these.
Wait, what's the first thing in the Home Bondage Kit?
I can make out "includes sl***, cuffs and crop!" but I can't figure out the mystery word; is it sling?
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #137 on: 14 Oct 2010, 13:21 »

Faye's certainly loosened up a bit. Maybe she finally give in and bought one of these.

Not on her  salary. 

Besides, she's expecting Angus to fill that position...

... and I'll apologize now, right before you groan. 
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #138 on: 14 Oct 2010, 13:34 »

Quote
Don't remember them playing in a band, either. (You may be joking, but there was a time that it seemed nearly every group of animated kids had a band, no matter how ludicrous the idea seemed, so I can't rule it out.)

I believe he may have been talking about this kind of five man band.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FiveManBand

also this
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/FiveTokenBand

"The cast of Captain Planet And The Planeteers takes this to its most logical extreme — every member of the band is from a different continent. But no Aussies. Or penguins, for that matter.
Also, subtle Fridge Brilliance. For Europe, they had a large portion of the continent that was on good terms with America to choose from. Instead, they went with the Soviet Union (tagline later changed to "Former Soviet Union" and then simply to "Eastern Europe")."

Not sure if this is appropriate for my first post, but I couldn't let this continue to go uncorrected. Heart was a boy and he had a pet monkey. I think he could communicate with animals somehow? I guess the power of heart makes you an empath. I watched that show all the time, though I clearly can't remember much about it.
« Last Edit: 14 Oct 2010, 13:45 by Coco »
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #139 on: 14 Oct 2010, 13:46 »

OK, to set the record straight: Heart was pretty much straight up mind control. You basically have to give that to a naive kid or it could get way out of hand. Seriously, the resolution to almost every conflict could easily have been "the four 'cool' Planeteers blaze away with their flashy elemental powers, doing almost nothing, until Ma-ti turns up and mind-rapes the 'bad guys' into submission."
Summoning the embodiment of nature's raw power to just blow shit up was the soft option.

Imagine that kind of power in the hands of the fire guy and his endless attempts to get into the water girl's pants.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #140 on: 14 Oct 2010, 13:55 »

Not on her  salary. 

Besides, she's expecting Angus to fill that position...

... and I'll apologize now, right before you groan. 
It does not matter how good Angus is in bed; he cannot possibly compete with non-Euclidean geometry. :evil:

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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #141 on: 14 Oct 2010, 14:43 »

OK, to set the record straight: Heart was pretty much straight up mind control. You basically have to give that to a naive kid or it could get way out of hand. Seriously, the resolution to almost every conflict could easily have been "the four 'cool' Planeteers blaze away with their flashy elemental powers, doing almost nothing, until Ma-ti turns up and mind-rapes the 'bad guys' into submission."
Summoning the embodiment of nature's raw power to just blow shit up was the soft option.

Imagine that kind of power in the hands of the fire guy and his endless attempts to get into the water girl's pants.
That last comment tells me you clearly paid better attention than I did to the show. I can go with the rest of it, though. Somewhat like Power Pack when Katie Power was the nuclear option of the team, more or less,
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #142 on: 14 Oct 2010, 14:58 »

It's not nice of Pintsize to eavesdrop on their conversation.  :-)

<pic>


Mind.  Blown.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #143 on: 14 Oct 2010, 15:44 »

Imagine that kind of power in the hands of the fire guy and his endless attempts to get into the water girl's pants.
Actually the Wheeler (the white American fire guy) was always trying to get into Linka's (the white Russian wind girl) pants. The girl with the power of water was "Asian" after all...
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #144 on: 14 Oct 2010, 16:08 »

*checks forum*

*thinks:are they stillgoing on about Captain Planet?*

*scrolls down*

*thinks: Yep, sure are.*

*navigates away from page*











God I hated that show...
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #145 on: 14 Oct 2010, 16:09 »

I didn't watch Captain Planet. I was too busy being an adult. And wondering why they were editing my old Warner Brothers cartoons.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #146 on: 14 Oct 2010, 16:19 »

Imagine that kind of power in the hands of the fire guy and his endless attempts to get into the water girl's pants.
Actually the Wheeler (the white American fire guy) was always trying to get into Linka's (the white Russian wind girl) pants. The girl with the power of water was "Asian" after all...
Eh. I knew it was the Russian girl, I just got their elements mixed up, mostly because they mostly did exactly the same shit (look, a water spout! Look, a whirlwind!), only one was coloured "cartoon water blue" in places.
On another topic, I sense, uh...tension, behind the scare quotes around Asian up there...

I didn't watch Captain Planet. I was too busy being an adult. And wondering why they were editing my old Warner Brothers cartoons.
Oh man, I miss the good old stuff. Stupid moral panic dweebs killed the fine art of cartoon slapstick. I mean, have you seen the new stuff? All they do is chase each other now, no frying pans to the face or explosives in the food any more. :(
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #147 on: 14 Oct 2010, 16:22 »

And while there was an element of "mind control" there, I always got the impression that Ma'ti's power was just mind-to-mind communication with nonverbal animals. It was never made entirely clear whether they would always do what he asked them to, because of his being a representative of the goodness of Gaia or whatever, but it always came off to me like his power enabled him to ask favours of the animal folk, who were likely to comply because he just needed them so much and asked so gosh darn nicely. Probably the most dastardly thing you could do with a power like that would be convincing the villains they had schizophrenia.
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #148 on: 14 Oct 2010, 16:34 »

*checks forum*

*thinks:are they stillgoing on about Captain Planet?*

*scrolls down*

*thinks: Yep, sure are.*

*navigates away from page*

God I hated that show...

Worst show ever.   
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Re: WCDT: 11-15 October 2010
« Reply #149 on: 14 Oct 2010, 17:03 »

*checks forum*

*thinks:are they stillgoing on about Captain Planet?*

*scrolls down*

*thinks: Yep, sure are.*

*navigates away from page*

God I hated that show...

Worst show ever.   

I'm sorry to do this, but it's completely the truth:

THIS.
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