THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

  • 19 Mar 2024, 00:02
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread  (Read 15277 times)

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« on: 06 Nov 2012, 20:17 »

When Spiro Agnew addresses a golf ball, it's "To whom it may concern".
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #1 on: 06 Nov 2012, 21:26 »

Spiro T. Agnew is the most Harry Potter fucking name I've ever heard outside of Harry Potter.
Logged

Carl-E

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,346
  • The distilled essence of Mr. James Beam himself.
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #2 on: 06 Nov 2012, 22:02 »

All I can think of when I hear Spiro Agnew's name is a cartoon from the beginning of the end, showing Agnew as a used condom being discarded... I think it was a cover of Rolling Stone, or Village Voice, or... I forget.  Can't find it online, either. 
Logged
When people try to speak a gut reaction, they end up talking out their ass.

Pilchard123

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,131
  • I always name them Bitey.
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #3 on: 07 Nov 2012, 11:06 »

"Spiro Agnew" is an anagram of "Grow a penis".
Logged
Piglet wondered how it was that every conversation with Eeyore seemed to go wrong.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #4 on: 07 Nov 2012, 11:41 »

A man in Warsaw opened a bank account and asked the bank manager whether his money would be safe. The joke sets up a pattern of the man asking about something going wrong, then the manager telling him about another level of guarantee, up to the government of the Soviet Union.

Then the man asks whether his money would be safe if the Soviet Union collapsed. The manager hems and haws, finally admits the man would lose all his money, then leans forward and whispers "But wouldn't it be worth it?".
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Gridgm

  • Beyoncé
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 705
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #5 on: 07 Nov 2012, 13:07 »

dude ...spiderland
Logged
and my ears are wearing head phones
they do play my favorite songs
not music i'm told to like
but the songs that make me dance along

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #6 on: 07 Nov 2012, 22:48 »

This was even before my time:

If the town's newspaper burns down, how will anyone know?

EDIT:
"My brother ran a hundred yards in ten seconds!"
"Wow, did he break a record?"
"Yes, that's why he was running!"

EDIT:
Did you hear about the guy who got an answering machine for his car phone? The greeting said "Sorry, I'm home right now, please leave a message and I'll call you as soon as I'm out".

EDIT:
Q. What do you put on the wheels of a DeLorean?
A. Snow tires.
« Last Edit: 29 Dec 2012, 19:03 by Is it cold in here? »
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #7 on: 23 Dec 2021, 15:56 »

Well, I did remember another one.

What did Marilyn Quayle say on her wedding night?

"Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy!"
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #8 on: 30 Dec 2021, 18:12 »

The kid asked the elevator operator "Why do you keep calling me 'Sonny'?".

The elevator operator replied "I brought you up, didn't I?".
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Wingy

  • Asleep in the boner patch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 789
  • Is my cape on right?
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #9 on: 03 Jan 2022, 10:19 »

Anything by Yakov Smirnoff.  I was going to nominate Edwin Neumann as well, but he's still relevant, though dead.
Logged
This space intentionally left almost blank.

Gyrre

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,288
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #10 on: 19 Jan 2022, 20:30 »

"So, I hear the IRS is founding a town between Andover and Benton. Care to guess what they're calling it?"
Logged
Quote
a real-ass gaddam sword
Quote
"Broken swords and dragon bones scattered on the way back home."

Too stubborn to die, just like the rest of my family.

snubnose

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,572
  • Cape diem
    • Google
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #11 on: 28 Jan 2022, 07:54 »

I like this thread. It makes me feel very young ! :-D
Logged
Carpe Diem

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #12 on: 04 Feb 2022, 08:20 »

What is Ted Kennedy's campaign song?

"How Deep is Your Love".
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

John Allenson

  • Obscure cultural reference
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 129
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #13 on: 05 Feb 2022, 18:57 »

What's the difference between Communism and Capitalism?

Under Capitalism Man oppresses Man, under Communism it's the opposite.
Logged

Akima

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,523
  • ** 妇女能顶半边天 **
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #14 on: 06 Feb 2022, 14:58 »

This one isn't really obsolete though, is it? The CCP is still alive and well, it is plain to Xi.
Logged
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned." Richard Feynman

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #15 on: 06 Feb 2022, 19:44 »

Xi who must be obeyed.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Akima

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,523
  • ** 妇女能顶半边天 **
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #16 on: 10 Feb 2022, 16:14 »

Not sure if that is an image I wanted in my head...
(click to show/hide)
Logged
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned." Richard Feynman

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,022
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #17 on: 14 Feb 2022, 13:18 »

I don't want kids to watch the modern orchestral music on TV. Too much sax and violins.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Sorflakne

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,721
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #18 on: 17 Feb 2022, 19:24 »

Circling back to Spiro Agnew, I learned of him from Futurama, and didn't learn until years later that he really was Nixon's VP (because let's be honest, public schools don't teach Vice Presidents outside of Andrew Johnson, Harry Truman, and Lyndon Johnson, or at least they didn't when I was in school).  So therefore, despite be being an elder millennial, I am still young :P
Logged
If you want to see what God and Satan look like, look in the mirror.

Wingy

  • Asleep in the boner patch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 789
  • Is my cape on right?
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #19 on: 18 Feb 2022, 11:07 »

I'm watching reruns of Laugh-In right now, and getting to the end of the second season.  In between the George Wallace jokes (a perfectly good old peoples joke all by itself) are an occasional Spiro Agnew joke, usually some riff on his name. 

Of course, Laugh-In was very much a product of its time and deliberately referenced many items from the then-current news.  Jokes about Viet Nam, living in the US while Black, Native America, or Female, alternate sexualities, and the sexual revolution itself are all staples on the show, so one has to watch with some care and keep the larger context in mind before reaching for things to throw at the screen.
Logged
This space intentionally left almost blank.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #20 on: 18 Feb 2022, 12:43 »

I remember some ethnic humor that isn't acceptable to most people today.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Wingy

  • Asleep in the boner patch
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 789
  • Is my cape on right?
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #21 on: 19 Feb 2022, 08:40 »

My high school went through a phase of polish jokes; I'm still puzzled about the genesis of that.  It may have been the new pope or it may have been the guy with the polish family name that moved into the district or ...  I never did pin it all down.  That was followed by a period of "Little Willey" jokes/limericks that ran the hallways with the students.  And then I graduated, leaving that level of humor behind only to fall into a group that distinguished itself by creating impossibly extended bad puns every change we got.  Grant/Tim/Lynn, if you're reading, Time repeats itself.  PM me here the proper response.

Laugh-In has aged surprisingly well, considering what passed as humor during that period.  Some of that is more a statement about us USnians still being moh-rons about certain topics than it is a statement about the "poorer" (less progressive?) values of that earlier period when the Laugh-In writers were in business.  Alas.  Much of the physical comedy remains funny, even if the "sock it too me" segments got old in a hurry, and not just for the performers.  I also don't get the person trying to ride the blue motorcycle with what appears to be a sendup of a batman outfit (sans cape but add wings, it's confusing).  Oh well; you can find sections of various shows on youtube if you want to review personally.
Logged
This space intentionally left almost blank.

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,022
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #22 on: 19 Feb 2022, 14:38 »

Verrrrry Innnteresting... but SHTUPID!
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #23 on: 19 Feb 2022, 16:58 »

Weird thing is, "You Bet Your Life" was older, but what I remember of the humor has aged well. We showed an episode to a twenty-something who exclaimed (not verbatim) "Why is this better than anything that's on today?".
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Akima

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,523
  • ** 妇女能顶半边天 **
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #24 on: 20 Feb 2022, 03:59 »

Circling back to Spiro Agnew,
Spiralling back, surely? :P But I should beware of becoming one of the "nattering nabobs of negativism".

Logged
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned." Richard Feynman

hedgie

  • Methuselah's mentor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,382
  • No Pasarán!
Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #25 on: 20 Feb 2022, 06:52 »

In that case, would one use a Spirograph?
Logged
"The highest treason in the USA is to say Americans are not loved, no matter where they are, no matter what they are doing there." -- Vonnegut
Pages: [1]   Go Up