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Drama.

5 (4.9%)

Humor.

7 (6.8%)

Tears.

20 (19.4%)

Screaming.

4 (3.9%)

Silence.

17 (16.5%)

Fear.

13 (12.6%)

Loathing.

8 (7.8%)

Lobotomy.

17 (16.5%)

Coffee.

3 (2.9%)

Never.

9 (8.7%)

Total Members Voted: 92

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

They use it to incubate their lesbian babies that they make when they press their vaginas together.

Man don't be ridiculous, that fleshlight does not have nearly a big enough uterus for parthogenetic lesbian babies

[snubnose]

Marten's mom is going to sleep with Dora. You heard it here first.

Meh.

Such predictions work in a simple way: if you're wrong, people will forget you predicted it - if you're right, people might remember and you get some fame.

Does that prediction rule still operate when the predictor is GodJeph?

LOL LOL LOL

Sorry, I didnt checked WHO wrote that.

LOL LOL LOL

[Kazukagii]

Did you see those three beat panels? They were *Crucial* to the joke.

[TheEvilDog]

Oh Hanners, you just had to ask, didn't you?

[Akima]

Three beat-panels in a row. Is that a world record?

[akronnick]

Well, that answers that!

That answers NOTHING!!!

It's not Marten's, but we pretty much knew that already (Marten's not the kind of guy who would own a Fleshlight, he's more into dildos and buttplugs and what not

And now we know it's not Hanners's, otherwise why would she ask?

And it's not likely to be Dora's, or Hanners would have seen it when she peeked into Dora's big Box-O-Party-Favors...

That leaves....Yeah, not sure I wanna go there...

[sterlingdragon]

FAYE
IT'S FAYE'S

[iduguphergrave]

Guys Pintsize probably bought it. If he has money to pay for broken windows he has money for fleshlights. Of course this just raises the other question of where he gets his money...

I like how Marten just seems to be waiting for her to ask. Personally if I were him I'd be like "Hanners I love you but please leave, I want to drink alone." Then again if he did that she'd probably think he was.....yeah.

[Sfifer]

It could have belonged to Sven..... He has been missing the whims of a woman since the incident with Faye

[Kazukagii]

If it isn't Pintsizes (and let's face it, he did have condoms to offer Marten long ago, who knows what else he keeps around just for the hell of it) Then he most likely got it from one of his other anthro-pc buddie's owner.

I can see it now, Pintsize logs on to a message board and puts out a call for a fleshlight the night before. The moment Marten goes out the door for work Pintsize slips through, and heads down to one of his buddies who offerd to lend him his owners. Pintize sneaks back into the apartment, and fires up MS Paint and does a sketch of Dora's backside, then printing it out once it meets his approval. A little tape, and some careful positioning atop the couch... and Pintsize's plan is now complete.

That's why he smiled so much when Marten took that first swig of booze. After such a long day of work... it's good to see your effort appreciated.

[SJCrew]

Had a feeling we'd be seeing more Hanners after the breakup. Just a hunch. I don't mind though, she's cute.

[Irenfrea]

Well I be damned, Jeph REALLY reads the forums. Now I'm scared.

[Odal]

Man, this content has actually become somewhat questionable.

That's what I was thinking.  And Jeph gets upset when we're creepy with his characters!  This definitely provokes the creepiness.  But I understand they're his characters, not ours.

I mean it kind of makes you wonder what he thinks about.  You know he's already visualized every possible thing that could happen between a single guy and a robot with a fleshlight attached to it.  

[themacnut]

Well I be damned, Jeph REALLY reads the forums. Now I'm scared.

Yep, expect them to go away any time now, so post while you can.

On another note, I am shocked that Marten was conscious and coherent enough to answer questions. I figured with the way he started guzzling booze last page, he'd be well on his way to DrunkenStuporville by now.

[pwhodges]

Jeph knows that the forums need to exist, but he hates what goes on in this one.  Of course, when it gets a bit less horrible, he might be a little more relaxed about it (or not, some artists dislike any discussion of their work, preferring to let it stand for itself).

[Boomslang]

I just noticed something.

Yesterday's comic- Marten is drinking directly out of the bottle.

Today's comic- Hanners is drinking what appears to be bourbon, apparently from the same bottle.

EH?

Backwash seems like a lovecraftian nightmare for Hanners. Maybe she's gotten really, really chill around Marten, but it still seems strange.

[Sharp]

On an unrelated note, while reading old comics of Octopus Pie, I came across many posts in the comments section by Carl-E. I guess it's kind of fun to know that even though no one in my social circle follows webcomics, the internet is full of like minded people.

[akronnick]

For QC? Well, there's this.

Also this, also involving Hanners

I just noticed something.

Yesterday's comic- Marten is drinking directly out of the bottle.

Today's comic- Hanners is drinking what appears to be bourbon, apparently from the same bottle.

EH?

Backwash seems like a lovecraftian nightmare for Hanners. Maybe she's gotten really, really chill around Marten, but it still seems strange.

She's checked him, he's clean.

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

I don't think the forums are going away unless someone goes full bear-hat or we have a shitstorm like the Other WCDT.

And  akronnick, ha!  I had almost forgotten that. Oh, Hanners. Never change.

[jwhouk]

Can Pintsize Go Any Lower?

No.    - 4 (2.8%)
#### No.    - 3 (2.1%)
NO ####ING WAY.    - 4 (2.8%)
Are you kidding me?    - 7 (4.9%)
Not in a million years.    - 1 (0.7%)
Well, maybe Goatse...    - 17 (12%)
Nah, this one's pretty bad.    - 10 (7%)
Who's Fleshlight IS that?    - 45 (31.7%)
Poor Hanners.    - 25 (17.6%)
EDIT: Of COURSE he can. The strip's name is Questionable Content, right?    - 26 (18.3%)

Total Voters: 142

[no one special]

It's Dora's.

 

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

[sThat actually makes...sorta sense?  A kind of sense. More than other suggestions (edit: other suggestions that it is not Pintsize's, just to clarify.)[/s]

EDIT: Disregard this, please see posts directly below by pwhodges and me

[pwhodges]

Er, not really?  And why would Sven have left it behind when getting her stuff? Pintsize has shown on many occasions that he can come up with whatever he feels he needs.

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

Well actually lemme revise the statement: it kinda makes sense if Dora got it for Marten for when she was not in the mood. (My fiancée has tried to buy me one for just this purpose--I assure her I AM FINE.)

And then she didn't tell Sven "pack up the fleshlight" and he didn't pry on Marten cause Sven, while he can be a bad dude, is always classy.

...Which I guess kind of makes it Marten's, really. EDIT: Which was just denied/disproven Ahahahahahahagahahahaha disregard everything I fail reading comprehension fuck yeah

ANYHOW, you are probably right; it's Pintsize's, I mean, Occam's fucking Razor. Sexually bizarre robot, sexually bizarre object, horrible/hilarious prank. Makes sense.

[Odal]

Winslow.  

Now we know what Winslow and Pintsize do when Marten & Co. are out of the apartment.  And I'm willing to bet there's a counterpart to this paraphernalia with which Pintsize usually uses.  Because I see Winslow being the "woman" in a Winslow-Pintsize relationship.

[Carl-E]

Pintslow?  Ooog...

I notice Steve's not in the poll.  But he strikes me as the type...

Backwash seems like a lovecraftian nightmare for Hanners. Maybe she's gotten really, really chill around Marten, but it still seems strange.

Bourbon has enough alcohol to sterilize.  Wine, on the other hand, doesn't, and I'll find the Horrible Revelation link with Marigold later. 

Also, she's getting better overcoming her OCD in order to be there for her friends

On an unrelated note, while reading old comics of Octopus Pie, I came across many posts in the comments section by Carl-E. I guess it's kind of fun to know that even though no one in my social circle follows webcomics, the internet is full of like minded people.

Yeah, I have a serious problem. 

[iduguphergrave]

Backwash seems like a lovecraftian nightmare for Hanners. Maybe she's gotten really, really chill around Marten, but it still seems strange.

Bourbon has enough alcohol to sterilize.  Wine, on the other hand, doesn't, and I'll find the Horrible Revelation link with Marigold later. 

Thinkin' about your backwash

[Deadlywonky]

If Marten had planned a serious night of drinking would he not have thought to buy more than one bottle and given the one he was not chugging from to Hanners? My wife and I sometimes do this when she has coldsores, also one bottle? to get over a realtionship? really? I know the guy's skinny but still look at steve and the booze monsters.

[edit] terrible spelling/ derailed train of thought [/edit]

[Wraith11B]

Going back to yesterdays--because I couldn't quite think of the appropriate quote at the time--I bet this is exactly what Marten was thinking:

"Welp, Emergency Bourbon to the rescue!"

[Border Reiver]

Given the image that Pintsize presented glasses would be inefficient for the quantity necessary to drink that away.

[TheEvilDog]

Given the image that Pintsize presented glasses would be inefficient for the quantity necessary to drink that away.

There ain't enough alcohol in the world to drink that image away!

[Blyss]

   My mind...   she is blown...

[Odin]

Jeph knows that the forums need to exist, but he hates what goes on in this one.  Of course, when it gets a bit less horrible, he might be a little more relaxed about it (or not, some artists dislike any discussion of their work, preferring to let it stand for itself).

The forums do not "need" to exist. Jeph could be perfectly happy by taking a page out of Chris Hasting's practice and letting some overzealous fan create forums on their own hosting and leaving an "unofficial forums" link to it in place of his current one and forgetting about forums that discuss his comic forever (and save whatever bandwidth costs come out of it). Or completely ignore the existence of any given forums whatsoever and have no links to them, either.

Jeph loves the shit that gets posted here, otherwise he would do something about it other than post passive-aggressive remarks about how much he hates the people that talk about his work (or appointing someone that does it for him, which is unbelievably presumptuous of you). He isn't fooling anyone with his actual posts (they always come across as that not-really-funny deprecating sarcasm that hipsters like to use), so he might as well be honest with himself and embrace what he has created.

Or basically, Put Up or Shut Up. Jeph is quite literally God as far as the forums go (he created every aspect of the content that goes into them, or provided the fuel for all other derived content, after all), so anything that happens is 100% his fault.

Welcome to The Problem of Evil: Webcomic Forum Edition.

[raoullefere]

Fleshlight owner? Steve would be my favorite. I don't know why he'd have left it at Marten and Faye's, but then, I don't know why he shaved his pubic hair in their bathroom, either. Steve can move in mysterious ways. Makes me think of this number (It's Disney and Donny Osmond. Don't say I didn't warn you.) It should be Steve's theme song.

I have to hand it to Hanners—she disapproves, but she's not going to let Marten sit there alone, nor is she going to keep nagging him to stop drinking. The question she asks is ten times better than that. Textbook good friend. Makes me think of From Good Home's tune "Let Go". Must be Music Day for me.

Meanwhile, I wonder where they've stuffed Pintsize. Freezer again?

[Cammy]

Meanwhile, I wonder where they've stuffed Pintsize. Freezer again?

Mmm, frozen fleshlight! A favorite among necrophiliacs.

[Dusk]

Meanwhile, I wonder where they've stuffed Pintsize. Freezer again?

Mmm, frozen fleshlight! A favorite among necrophiliacs.

For some reason, ice is erotic to some people...this one guy I know loves this one porno flick with these two chicks playing with ice cubes...

[galarant]

w00t looks like it's time for an ill-advised Hanners rebound fling!!   

[maddness]

Ice dildo molds.

Who willingly puts an icicle in their lady parts? You'd couldn't pay me enough .... at least ... not unless you were like Oprah rich.

[cuzsis]

Well I be damned, Jeph REALLY reads the forums. Now I'm scared.

Yep, expect them to go away any time now, so post while you can.

On another note, I am shocked that Marten was conscious and coherent enough to answer questions. I figured with the way he started guzzling booze last page, he'd be well on his way to DrunkenStuporville by now.

 Huh?

 Why would Jef care about what we write in the forums? It's just a fairly benign internet ramblings with a healthy dose of insanity and wild speculation thrown in. It's not like we're posting crap from /b/ or something.

 Seriously... everyone keeps saying he cares. And maybe you're right, but why??? 

[Wraith11B]

Ice dildo molds.

Who willingly puts an icicle in their lady parts? You'd couldn't pay me enough .... at least ... not unless you were like Oprah rich.

Maybe not... in as much as just lightly running it over the body... I knew a gal once that enjoyed that a lot.

[bhtooefr]

I have to hand it to Hanners—she disapproves, but she's not going to let Marten sit there alone, nor is she going to keep nagging him to stop drinking. The question she asks is ten times better than that. Textbook good friend. Makes me think of From Good Home's tune "Let Go". Must be Music Day for me.

If you look at it, Hanners is drinking, too. At this point, I think she AGREES with Marten.

w00t looks like it's time for an ill-advised Hanners rebound fling!!   

*finds and picks up a dickbroom reluctantly*
After what Marten just saw, his sack has probably retreated into his body cavity. And Hanners is likely equally creeped out, if not more so. And this is completely ignoring that Marten isn't in the mood to do it with anyone (even Dora,) and Hanners would freak out about that, even when drunk.
*puts the dickbroom down and vigorously washes his hands*

Why would Jef care about what we write in the forums? It's just a fairly benign internet ramblings with a healthy dose of insanity and wild speculation thrown in. It's not like we're posting crap from /b/ or something.

Actually, last time I looked, there was stuff from /b/ being posted here.

By Jeph.

[The Duke]

I know that pintsize is a bit of an a-hole, but that's.... that's just being plain mean, this is way to far for him.

(emphasis mine)

I thought it was supposed to be a vagi- ahaha, I see what you mean now.

[pwhodges]

Actually, last time I looked, there was stuff from /b/ being posted here.
By Jeph.

A case of "give them what they deserve" I suppose; I agree it's probably counter-productive.

[sapphire]

It is bad that yesterday I didn't realize it was a fleshlight, much less what a fleshlight was?

Word of caution when googling "fleshlight" for the very first time...

[SJCrew]

and Hanners would freak out about that, even when drunk.

Remember, Hanners was smoking when she first met Marten. You don't know what she's capable of.

Actually, last time I looked, there was stuff from /b/ being posted here.

What the hell.

By Jeph.

Oh, okay, that makes it cool now.   

[Y]

It is bad that yesterday I didn't realize it was a fleshlight, much less what a fleshlight was?

Not really, you don't need to know what every 'party favor' does. As for fleshlights, I came across a site once that described how to build one with a pringles can and a condom.(No, I didn't build it). So I imagine it is not something you (want to) share with anyone, just like you don't use someones used condom.

[raoullefere]

I have to hand it to Hanners—she disapproves, but she's not going to let Marten sit there alone, nor is she going to keep nagging him to stop drinking. The question she asks is ten times better than that. Textbook good friend. Makes me think of From Good Home's tune "Let Go". Must be Music Day for me.

If you look at it, Hanners is drinking, too. At this point, I think she AGREES with Marten.

Maybe, but she seems to be sipping whilst he gulps. More likely she's doing it so as to be non-judgmental. Hard to get classier than that.

[Wraith11B]

And probably doing so to keep her freak-out session from starting too soon.  She's doing what she did with Marigold--saving it up for later, and a more appropriate venue.  If she keeps practicing that, she might get good enough to even kiss someone...

...Chastely...

...On the cheek.

[Boomslang]

even kiss someone...

...Chastely...

...On the cheek.

BLASPHEMER! 

[Julietta]

and Hanners would freak out about that, even when drunk.

Remember, Hanners was smoking when she first met Marten. You don't know what she's capable of.

Man, if she got back on whatever medication she was on back then, she and Marten would be cute together.
Maybe.

I'd love to see Faye and Dora react to that.