I just think we should treat people as individuals and attempt to communicate and understand them from the perspective of who they are as a person. That includes some people learning to occasionally try to read clues more, and some people maybe having to occasionally speak out more directly. Misunderstandings will happen, but it will always happen because we are humans and nothing will ever be communicated perfectly anyway.
Point is, why do we need to turn this into a gender war. I mean, just by having a gender I've already been accused of certain things in this thread, so why should I listen to the people who accusing me at all? Same goes for both sides.
Making the idea of communication about genders, instead of about INDIVIDUALS (because I've met people on either end of the spectrum both men and women) it turns into a clusterfuck of everyone yelling over each other.
Exactly right.
for example in a past relationship (me female he male) I was forthright in what I wanted, what I needed and what I felt. It backfired
horribly. I almost -had- to play cutesy cutesy passive-aggressive games, otherwise I'd be uncaring, callous and making him feel
guilty (I usually got that when he did something that upset / hurt me and I went right up to him and said 'That thing you did upset / hurt me. Let's discuss it so I can get over it.' Well shit I guess I should have had a rageface on all day and given him the silent treatment. Would have been so much better.)
And he NEVER just came out with what he felt/thought, and never ever just said what was on his mind, he always made me jump through hoops to guess, and would get pissy with me when I ignored his obvious signals (out of spite I admit - if he's not going to say 'I'm mad at you' and just say 'I'm fine' when I ask, he don't get no satisfaction) Sufficed to say, communication took about 10xs longer than it needed to and was just a ball of fun all the time. And it had nothing to do with our genders but who he is and who I am. So. Yea.
It's not everybody, it's just some of who you've happened to meet. Meet more!