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Call back right away and apologize.

Run to her apartment and apologize.

Wait until tomorrow, and get arrested at the airport trying to apologize at the gate.

Call/go over and ask for an explanation.

Decide it's a lost cause, toast a waffle or two, and try to move on.

[pwhodges]

I would point out that Jeph's comment about thinking of closing the forums was based on a single remark, and that the discussion that followed that has been reasonably sensible.  It was a bit sad to see that several of the tweets responding to him were clearly based on knowledge of this forum in 2010 and not since.

[idontunderstand]

Yeah it's kind of sad that he would stumble into the forums at the exact wrong moment..

..not completely truthful, I know. But still.

[Schmorgluck]

I still think Padma kept herself away from Marten for fear of growing too fond of him before she leaves. And I think she excused herself by thinking it was better for both of them.

I mean, packing, seriously? What kind of an excuse is this? For one thing, she should have anticipated the time it would take her. But even if she had been too distracted for anticipating it, she could have asked Marten for help with it. It would have been spending some times together, even if it was bittersweet.

Assuming this, at the last moment, she decided she had to say a proper goodbye. By the way, the only involvement of Elliot in this that I can think of is his telling her it was mean to do that to Marten. Putting some (semi-)external perspective in her train of thought.

As for Marten's reaction, well, he's not a saint, he can be a prick when in pain, he can act out of resent when taken off-guard. Given time, he usually wrestles himself out of hard feelings. But most of the time, he does his best to be a kind guy. In a way, he acts a lot like a struggling Boddhisattva.

So yeah, both of them fucked up, Padma out of Fear, Marten out of Pain or Anger (or both).

[Near Lurker]

The hilarious (@#$% terrifying) thing about this strip is that so many of us turn into that psychotic ex who overanalyzed every single thing as if we were ourselves living the lives of the characters. A testament to Jeph's talent, certainly, but also not healthy for anyone.

If it still existed, I would introduce you to a little comic called "Penny & Aggie"...

[Schmorgluck]

Oh, and given that it's not Something*Positive, I still have hope for a... satisfactory ending, at least.

[Blackjoker]

Oh, and given that it's not Something*Positive, I still have hope for a... satisfactory ending, at least.

I actually like Something Positive, if the endings are sad there's at least some levity to it. With this one, it seems more like salt being rubbed into wounds.

[Tormuse]

Personally, I think the real problem is that neither Marten, nor Padma, are being honest about their feelings about each other, or their feelings in general.

I think it's safe to say that the real reason that Padma didn't call isn't because she was "too busy packing."  Something has been troubling her.  Back at this comic, it was pretty clear that something was bothering her, (though Marten didn't pick up on it) and she's probably been troubled ever since.

Similarly, Marten isn't being honest about his feelings.  He could have said today that he felt hurt by the fact that she didn't call.  It wouldn't have to be an attack or accusation or anything, just an honest, assertive statement about his feelings.

In fact, all of this angst he's been feeling could probably have been headed off back at his last phone call with Padma in this comic.  We find out from this comic that she said that she's "feeling down."  Speaking for myself, if someone I cared about told me they were feeling down, my response would not be, "okay, bye."  It would be more like, "What's wrong?  Do you want to talk about it?"  I would acknowledge and respect their feelings and maybe try to help cheer them up.  That's the point where Marten started handling things badly and it's just gone downhill from there.

Of course, in my experience, most people have difficulty with that kind of emotional expression and most people want to avoid that kind of confrontation, so all in all, I'd say this is a realistic portrayal of everyone's actions and reactions.  Bravo, Jeph, for writing this so well!  

[NotAwesomeAnymore]

@lepetitfromage
I used your quote because it was the first in a long line of women-do-this comments. I wasn't expecting anyone to read my mind, I was merely illustrating the personal consequences of this kind of sexism, because I believe male privilege exists. Women experience that to different extents, for sure.

[Boradis]

Contrary to Jeph's opinion, Marten did the right thing on both days.

For whatever reason, Padma not only avoided him during her last week there, she didn't even try to explain. Maybe she was feeling stressed, or sad, or crazy busy, or some other crises arose. It may be perfectly understandable and unavoidable, but the burden of explanation is on her.

She left him in the dark until the last possible minute, then she expected him to drop everything (including his self respect) and go see her.

Marten shouldn't do anything, and definitely needs to move on. I do think Padma owes him another phone call to apologize or explain, but in the long run it doesn't really matter.

As for Marten, he knew she was a flake from the start and is just reaping what was sown. If there were one word I'd use to describe Padma's character it would be "oblivious." He should not be surprised that she's bulldozed his feelings without thinking twice about it.

She's not a good romantic match for him or probably for anyone at this point. Marten needs to either be a bit more like his mom and realize that sometimes sex is just sex, or learn to avoid sex-based relationships altogether.

[pwhodges]

then she expected him to drop everything (including his self respect) and go see her.

Why would seeing her again have meant losing his self respect?  Has he not actually lost self respect by doing something which he himself thinks was wrong?

[BigSol81]

If there were one word I'd use to describe Padma's character it would be "oblivious."

Nail on the head. Padma has displayed a general lack of empathy or ability to infer based on peoples' actions since the was introduced. She's not necessarily selfish, she's just very self-absorbed a lot of the time, it seems.

[ilikefishfood]

For whatever reason, Padma not only avoided him during her last week there, she didn't even try to explain.

I think she tried to not so much to explain per se, as let him know that she was sad (2095)...he just didn't see it as a queue to have 'the conversation.' 

He instead interpreted it as a blow off, and Padma probably thought he didn't care enough to ask.  Maybe she figured he was only interested in being around her when she wanted to 'have fun.'  I can't blame either of them for more than not being straight forward about their feelings, but I think we've pretty much established that. 

Um....colour me daft, but did I miss Jeph threatening to close the forum?  Was that recently, or back-in-the-day?

[pwhodges]

Check his twitter today (see the surrounding tweets for explanation - also this post).

In fact the discussion has remained fairly sensible, instead of collapsing into a putrid writhing heap as he probably envisioned thinking back to the breakup period.

[Sorflakne]

Check his twitter today (see the surrounding tweets for explanation - also this post).

In fact the discussion has remained fairly sensible, instead of collapsing into a putrid writhing heap as he probably envisioned thinking back to the breakup period.

I want that background for a desktop image.

[ilikefishfood]

Check his twitter today (see the surrounding tweets for explanation - also this post).

In fact the discussion has remained fairly sensible, instead of collapsing into a putrid writhing heap as he probably envisioned thinking back to the breakup period.

Aaaaaaaah.....thanks.  That clears it up.  I did see his post here in the forum, but haven't checked twitter in ages.  Appreciate the heads up.   I think he's been more upset in the past.  I suspect (hope) we'll be safe! 

[Vista]

The hilarious (@#$% terrifying) thing about this strip is that so many of us turn into that psychotic ex who overanalyzed every single thing as if we were ourselves living the lives of the characters. A testament to Jeph's talent, certainly, but also not healthy for anyone.

It may be cathartic for some readers, who may have something they've always wanted to talk about--or rather, have always needed to hear an alternative perspective from a relative stranger whom they may see as relatively unbiased.  But should this subforum be for that cause?  (...Is there an alternative?  Yes.)

The problem with what we call overanalysis is that it really doesn't exist. Analysis is, by definition, breaking something down--once it can't be broken down anymore, further work reveals nothing more than what you already know. What we refer to as overanalysis is just misanalysis: the attempt to analyze the situation without having all the facts at hand (which is related to what Orson Welles said about acting: "what we call over-acting is really just false acting"), which results in greater misunderstandings and wild theories that serve no valid purpose (cf. any government on Earth).

Analysis in its purest form, perhaps, but really, who's to judge what serves no purpose?  Most people prefer not to break something down to its basic building blocks because it misses the inherent connection between ideas.  I.e., we analyze ice and understand that it's hydrogen, oxygen and energy...skipping past the more important revelation that it's frozen water.  On a planet, in a solar system, one of quadrillions created by an all-knowing dark matter dachshund.
We could "overanalyze" this strip to mean that Jeph was secretly fearing spending time on vacation, but that might be way more interesting to discuss than "oh, Marten said this in comic 1132, therefore he's still a douche."  And interesting thoughts are a good, usually.

Nobody's 'right' here. We've all got baggage (some more than others) and our ability to identify with the characters and/or situation is perhaps adding that baggage onto the comic's situation, where it doesn't belong.

But isn't that sort of the entire point of literature?  To engage in such behavior and then realize that maybe you shouldn't, and grow a little bit? 
As for no one being 'right'...such would seem to be the case if one believes in moral relativism or that the characters--not being real people--cannot be right or wrong.  Which I would disagree with.

We haven't seen the last of Padma or this storyline, so, like when your best friend broke up with that stupid whore that no one really liked anyway, man (to whom he's now been married for eight years), it's probably best not to be making with the wild (and cruel) speculations.

"If the world were good for nothing else, it is a fine subject for speculation."
I agree that people can go overboard, but often they don't, even if they seem to be sinking.  Lamemetaphorlol

[Tova]

Contrary to Jeph's opinion, Marten did the right thing on both days.

For whatever reason, Padma not only avoided him during her last week there, she didn't even try to explain. Maybe she was feeling stressed, or sad, or crazy busy, or some other crises arose. It may be perfectly understandable and unavoidable, but the burden of explanation is on her.

She left him in the dark until the last possible minute, then she expected him to drop everything (including his self respect) and go see her.

Marten shouldn't do anything, and definitely needs to move on. I do think Padma owes him another phone call to apologize or explain, but in the long run it doesn't really matter.

It's been said before, but it bears repeating -- why do some people assume that the only options for Marten are to either be a doormat or to totally shut her down? There are other options open to him.

For example, he could have stayed on the phone and and insisted on the full explanation which you yourself have claimed she owed her, in the same breath as you proclaimed that he did the right thing in blowing her off, no less. Or he could have gone over there and demanded it in person, which in my opinion would have been the best option of all.

You are insisting that he did the right thing even though he effectively refused to demand such an explanation.

Honestly, your position is quite confounding.

Forumgoers  (well, a handful of you), Marten is not a "villian" here, nor is Padma some kind of a horrible person. They are both perfectly normal, good people who were placed in an emotional, even stressful, situation and did arguably dumb things. I can understand how this story would have touched a nerve for some people who may have been in a similar situation. But I am trying to separate the sin from the sinner.

[MrJangles]

then she expected him to drop everything (including his self respect) and go see her.

Why would seeing her again have meant losing his self respect?  Has he not actually lost self respect by doing something which he himself thinks was wrong?

It's the "Come when I call" mentality.  Going to her when she called, but her not responding to his calls is pretty much a puppy dog response.  Had she shown any interest in that missing week of getting in touch with him, it wouldn't be cause for loss of self-respect.  She only wants to deal with him on her terms and to accept that without showing her that there is a price to pay for her actions smacks of meekness and a lack of self-respect.

He may not like what he did and wonders why he did it, but I imagine that he did not lose respect for himself.

[haikupoet]

Coming soon: screaming long-distance rant from a very, VERY angry Padma's grandmother. Because I expect her to be just about as awesome as Marten's mom, even on death's doorstep.

[Tova]

He may not like what he did and wonders why he did it, but I imagine that he did not lose respect for himself.

I imagine that he might have, because the way he dealt with the issue was spineless.

[pwhodges]

to accept that without showing her that there is a price to pay for her actions smacks of meekness and a lack of self-respect.

A price to pay, eh?  Well, there's a price to pay for every action any of us takes, so there's no need to show her that.  I presume you mean punish  her for her actions.

And being forbearing /=meekness /= lack of self respect.

[Tormuse]

If there were one word I'd use to describe Padma's character it would be "oblivious."

Nail on the head. Padma has displayed a general lack of empathy or ability to infer based on peoples' actions since the was introduced. She's not necessarily selfish, she's just very self-absorbed a lot of the time, it seems.

...which, incidentally, makes it extra important for Marten to accurately communicate his feelings to her right now.  She most likely has no idea at all that Marten feels hurt by her not returning his calls, or that he resents the fact that she waited until the last minute to call him.  She probably won't figure it out unless he tells her point-blank.

Check his twitter today (see the surrounding tweets for explanation - also this post).

In fact the discussion has remained fairly sensible, instead of collapsing into a putrid writhing heap as he probably envisioned thinking back to the breakup period.

Aaaaaaaah.....thanks.  That clears it up.  I did see his post here in the forum, but haven't checked twitter in ages.  Appreciate the heads up.   I think he's been more upset in the past.  I suspect (hope) we'll be safe! 

I think it isn't just that; Jeph is an emotional guy who is bothered by cynical sentiments such as the one expressed in the above link.  The suggestion that Marten "earned" the right to hurt Padma as though it's some kind of merit badge that he should be proud of is kind of disturbing.  In fact, I'd say that the whole idea of "other people are doing it, therefore I should do it" is the weakest rationalization in the world; you can use that to justify anything!

I am curious to know what Jeph thinks Marten should have done here, but I doubt that he's still reading the forums at this point.

[truestatic]

The suggestion that Marten "earned" the right to hurt Padma as though it's some kind of merit badge that he should be proud of is kind of disturbing.  In fact, I'd say that the whole idea of "other people are doing it, therefore I should do it" is the weakest rationalization in the world; you can use that to justify anything!

This cracked me up. 

"This coupon entitles the bearer to one opportunity to be a bit of a shit.  Not applicable with other offers."

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

Hopy shit, beneath the sexism being thrown around and the weird attitude that if other people act badly it somehow excuses you being an asshole, there is an okay discussion going on, good work (some) people

[Tova]

"This coupon entitles the bearer to one opportunity to be a bit of a shit.  Not applicable with other offers."

"Coupon is transferrable to the target of your shitty action."

[Is it cold in here?]

As for no one being 'right'...such would seem to be the case if one believes in moral relativism or that the characters--not being real people--cannot be right or wrong.  Which I would disagree with.

I took that to mean that Jeph intends to portray all the characters as being realistically flawed, so that in any argument both parties will have screwed something up.

I've toyed with the idea of filling a pill bottle with M&Ms and printing a label that says "Self Pity: Use With Caution, May Be Habit-Forming".

[truestatic]

"This coupon entitles the bearer to one opportunity to be a bit of a shit.  Not applicable with other offers."

"Coupon is transferrable to the target of your shitty action."

Padma's granny best watch herself then.   

[jwhouk]

Coming soon: screaming long-distance rant from a very, VERY angry Padma's grandmother. Because I expect her to be just about as awesome as Marten's mom, even on death's doorstep.

You know what? I think I'd actually take this one over the other S*P-like endings running through my brain at the moment.

[Vista]

As for no one being 'right'...such would seem to be the case if one believes in moral relativism or that the characters--not being real people--cannot be right or wrong.  Which I would disagree with.

I took that to mean that Jeph intends to portray all the characters as being realistically flawed, so that in any argument both parties will have screwed something up.

Man, I was totally not contributing by not explaining that...sorry.

My point was supposed to be that even if both parties screwed things up--i.e., regret their actions even without hindsight--that doesn't mean we shouldn't determine whether or not one of them screwed things up less than the other.  Now, it doesn't mean we should.  But maybe so: there are real lessons here about 'doing the right thing' or at least 'doing the less wrong thing as understood by ourselves and others'.  Even as we shouldn't demonize the person who doesn't take the nobler path--and there is way too much demonization, but I ignore it--we shouldn't discount the fact that they are, indeed, failing to pursue either their own or others' best long-term ends.  Making them more 'in the wrong' as it were.

I think.  But I'm not a moral relativist.  And I judge everyone (usually for doing good things). 

[themacnut]

Coming soon: screaming long-distance rant from a very, VERY angry Padma's grandmother. Because I expect her to be just about as awesome as Marten's mom, even on death's doorstep.

I'd be rather surprised if Padma even mentions something like that to Grandma. Especially if she rationalizes the whole thing to be a mere fling. How many people even talk about their sex lives with grandparents? Many won't even talk about it with parents.

Besides, it would be rather over the top karmic retribution-not like Marten cursed Padma out or called her nasty names, he was just a bit short with her on the phone and refused an offer to get together with him. I don't think that earns him a bawling out by Padma's Gramma.

[Tova]

I could still envision the following conversation (abridged):

Padma: I met a boy.
Grandma: So where is he?
Padma: I left him behind.
Grandma: What the heck were you thinking?

Still, what's so interesting about the story is that we still haven't really seen the whole thing. We could yet be surprised by what's really going on at Padma's end.

[truestatic]

I could still envision the following conversation (abridged):

Padma: I met a boy.
Grandma: So where is he?
Padma: I left him behind.
Grandma: What the heck were you thinking?

Still, what's so interesting about the story is that we still haven't really seen the whole thing. We could yet be surprised by what's really going on at Padma's end.

I haven't been following QC for particularly long, so I'm not familiar with what happens when a member becomes separated from the cast.  Are we likely to find out what happens on Padma's end?  Is she likely to have a conclusion, or return to the regular cast?  I'd sort of just expected that we'd have the heartbreak for both of them we see right now, just only witnessing it on our protagonist's end, and then never hear directly from her again.

[Is it cold in here?]

I can't think of a really comparable situation in the archives, except maybe Ellen moving onto the research vessel. Jeph said she is gone forever.

[truestatic]

I can't think of a really comparable situation in the archives, except maybe Ellen moving onto the research vessel. Jeph said she is gone forever.

Fair enough.  Then it's a mystery to everyone.  Thank you very much.

[jwhouk]

Thing is, we did have a sense of closure with Ellen's departure - unlike Sara, who just disappeared and is presumed eaten by an allosaur.

Other than that, all of the majors are still there - except for Faye's family (mom and sis) and Mrs. Chatham.

[Tormuse]

Besides, it would be rather over the top karmic retribution-not like Marten cursed Padma out or called her nasty names, he was just a bit short with her on the phone and refused an offer to get together with him. I don't think that earns him a bawling out by Padma's Gramma.

Agreed.  While Marten may not have handled the situation as well as possible, he didn't really do anything particularly "bad."  All he said was, "I'm busy tonight, but have a safe trip."  Calling him an "asshole" for that seems to me to be overstating it.

[Milesb]

Nobody asked for it because I'm a massive lurker, but here's my two cents having been in a position similar to Marten's;

Padma instigated the action which hurt Marten, however if she's oblivious of that hurt blame can't fully attach to her action.

I think on the basis that her attitude changed  towards Marten (It's been a short relationship and a week long radio silence would be a departure from the norm, surely?) I assume she was aware her action may have prompted a response, either positive or negative. I find it difficult to create an argument that would absolve Padma of  knowledge that what she was doing may have hurt Marten, which really rings true with some of the previous posters talking about how the longer you go on not calling, the harder it is to call.

However, she did call - you could argue it's too little too late but she did try  to make up for her previous behaviour.

As for Marten; he's tried to be adult and responsible by leaving her alone but he obviously feels she owes him some kind of apology, though you can argue she's unaware of exactly how much it's bothered him. However, when the call comes through and the apology doesn't seem forthcoming (not that Marten gives much of an opportunity for her to do so) - Marten falls back into passive aggressive overload.

By calling, Padma has tried to correct her crappy behavour; the biggest question I have to ask is: Will Marten try and correct his crappy behaviour? I think the answer to that question will set the scene for the next arc, with either some kind of growth, or yet another shallow depression.

Personally I think Marten needs a break before his cycles of depression and absolution become a bit too old hat; Faye and Angus have a lot of potential I'd be interested to see developed further at the moment.

[jwhouk]

I'm going to reveal something - I'm one of the seven who voted "call her back right away and apologize".

[truestatic]

I'm going to reveal something - I'm one of the seven who voted "call her back right away and apologize".

I don't know how that would work.  Like, as hard as I've been on her here, I don't know if it would be okay for her to accept his apology.  Or where that would leave either of them.  I don't spy a fairy tale ending in the cards.  :C

[jwhouk]

I have to head off to work, so...

Should these boards implode before I get a chance to come back and post, it's been great knowing y'all.

[ZBixby]

Whatever happens with Padma is gonna happen, Jeph already has it planned out so let's sit back and enjoy the ride, and secretly plot and wait for Dale and Marigold to get together

[Tova]

Or not.

[vsonics]

What, seriously?

And not loudly express all of our contradicting opinions and predictions, only to have them proven wrong one comic later? 

That's ridiculous.

[themacnut]

Yeah, where's the fun in that?

[Blackjoker]

I don't think that there is going to be an end to this that doesn't involve those around Marten rubbing salt in his wounds. This is just more of a general statement, it does seem like since the breakup the comic has turned more into 'Kick Marten' but that's probably just my view on it.

[iduguphergrave]

He's just that kinda guy. Remember how awful he felt after he accidentally saw Hanners' boob? He's (normally) overly cautious because he's terrified of making the wrong choice. Also it's just not in him to purposely hurt people (at least I didn't think it was). It's probably a good thing he doesn't remember drunkenly hitting on Faye; I suspect he'd ask her if she wanted him to move out. Some people don't need others to tear them apart; they do a thorough job on their own.

[Is it cold in here?]

Marten is capable of hurting people: http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=697. That was admittedly a special case and one that doesn't bear on how he handles relationships.

It's a critically important point that we're completely in the dark about what's going on internally and externally with Padma.

[Tova]

Well, that's quite a #2100.

I guess he didn't call her back.

I think that he is in a very bad place right now.

Oh, and the lines under his eyes are back.

[truestatic]

Now that we know she's actually decided to leave earlier than she had intended according to her amended plan, I have just lost more of my sympathy for Padma.    "Hey, I decided you aren't worth sticking around for after all, wanna get together tonight?"

[Is it cold in here?]

Faye, taking sides against Marten?