THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

  • 18 Apr 2024, 14:37
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Down

Author Topic: The wordplay thread  (Read 12750 times)

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
The wordplay thread
« on: 19 Oct 2012, 16:00 »

All sorts of fun with language.

As a starting point, Acronym Fail:
Commissioner of Reykjavik Area Police
(apocryphal)Perkin Elmer Network Information Services
Critical Update Notification Tool
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Carl-E

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,346
  • The distilled essence of Mr. James Beam himself.
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #1 on: 19 Oct 2012, 16:13 »

My great grandfather was a German immigrant who loved his second language.  I only visited his home once, I was about 11 or 12, and he'd been dead since before I was born, but his son (my great-uncle) still lived there. 

Going to the basement to see the presses (he was a printer), I noticed there was a cardboard cutout of a duck tacked on the wall above the doorway. 


As soon as the words, "What's that there for?" left my mouth, I hid my head on the top of the low door frame. 


Gotta appreciate a man who can come up with something like that in a different language...
Logged
When people try to speak a gut reaction, they end up talking out their ass.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #2 on: 20 Oct 2012, 19:03 »

Great parking signs:

"NO GENIE PARKING"
"RESERVED PATIENT PARKING ONLY" (so where do the outgoing patients park?)
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Carl-E

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,346
  • The distilled essence of Mr. James Beam himself.
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #3 on: 20 Oct 2012, 20:29 »

... and what about the patients who don't have reservations ?
Logged
When people try to speak a gut reaction, they end up talking out their ass.

Redball

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,244
  • What's disease? Where?
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #4 on: 20 Oct 2012, 20:56 »

To me, wordplay means puns. Someone want to start, maybe based on characters, or other strip-related stuff? Or I will myself, Svenever one comes to mind.
Logged

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,493
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #5 on: 20 Oct 2012, 23:11 »

Well, I wouldn't mind a Reed of one or two.
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

Omega Entity

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,273
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #6 on: 20 Oct 2012, 23:15 »

I'm not sure I'm Mari'd to the idea, myself...
Logged

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,493
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #7 on: 20 Oct 2012, 23:19 »

Yeah, I doubt it's anything worth Raven about.
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,022
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #8 on: 21 Oct 2012, 10:52 »

I think it'll probably Faye away or something.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #9 on: 21 Oct 2012, 12:09 »

You people just keep getting Meena and Meena.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,493
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #10 on: 21 Oct 2012, 12:36 »

Yeah, we just like Torturain' you
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

Pilchard123

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,131
  • I always name them Bitey.
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #11 on: 21 Oct 2012, 13:05 »

we'll run out of characters soon - we can't just keep on making these jokes with im.pun.ity
Logged
Piglet wondered how it was that every conversation with Eeyore seemed to go wrong.

LTK

  • Methuselah's mentor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,009
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #12 on: 21 Oct 2012, 15:18 »

The thread is going to tapir off if we don't branch out to non-characters. Don't keep Hannering on the main cast!
Logged
Quote from: snalin
I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,022
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #13 on: 21 Oct 2012, 15:38 »

Dora SHOULD we? ;)
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,493
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #14 on: 22 Oct 2012, 21:42 »

As long as I remember not to Padma Posts
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,022
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #15 on: 22 Oct 2012, 21:47 »

This is crazy. We've been trying to bring some sanity to this thread, some stability, and stop it with the punning. But no, all we're doing is just MOMO, MOMO, MOMO, MOMO.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #16 on: 23 Oct 2012, 04:55 »

Fans of Hanna Barbera cartoons collect Hanna lore.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Carl-E

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,346
  • The distilled essence of Mr. James Beam himself.
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #17 on: 23 Oct 2012, 05:56 »

Unless they're Barber-ic. 
Logged
When people try to speak a gut reaction, they end up talking out their ass.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #18 on: 23 Oct 2012, 16:30 »

I love deliberately misunderstanding noun phrases, such as the listing in the Yellow Pages for "Dancing Supplies".
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Redball

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,244
  • What's disease? Where?
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #19 on: 23 Oct 2012, 16:34 »

"Motel food"?
Logged

Akima

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,523
  • ** 妇女能顶半边天 **
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #20 on: 23 Oct 2012, 16:57 »

COULOMB people, it's time to electrify this current discussion! It has potential, but it's only been running FARADAY or two, and it's really degenerating, as the last couple of postings AMPly demonstrate. WATT we want is a JOULE of reVOLTing puns, or we might as well talk about something else OERSTED!

Logged
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned." Richard Feynman

Redball

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,244
  • What's disease? Where?
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #21 on: 23 Oct 2012, 17:46 »

Enough, already! I'm trying to find peace!
Ohm, ohm, ohm, ohm....
Logged

TheEvilDog

  • Guest
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #22 on: 23 Oct 2012, 17:48 »

Akima, some of those puns are truly shocking.

Poor Penelope, everyone wants a pizza the girl.
Logged

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,022
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #23 on: 23 Oct 2012, 17:48 »

I am SHOCKED, SHOCKED, I tell you!
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Redball

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,244
  • What's disease? Where?
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #24 on: 23 Oct 2012, 17:50 »

So am I, and deeply concerned that some of us won't understand this new direction. But it's not necessarily a sine that we're squares.
Logged

Akima

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,523
  • ** 妇女能顶半边天 **
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #25 on: 23 Oct 2012, 18:26 »

As long as we don't go off at a tangent. I will reciprocate, by putting on my cotan hat and leaving.
Logged
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned." Richard Feynman

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,022
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #26 on: 23 Oct 2012, 18:35 »

Just remember not to drink and derive.
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Akima

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,523
  • ** 妇女能顶半边天 **
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #27 on: 23 Oct 2012, 18:53 »

And now for something absolutely differential. I don't suffer from mood swings, but  sometimes I am tensor nervous enough to scalar wall, but at others I'm much better integrated.
Logged
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned." Richard Feynman

Redball

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,244
  • What's disease? Where?
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #28 on: 23 Oct 2012, 19:12 »

Don't know if any of us can beat Akima. I think she'll emerge the vector.
Logged

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #29 on: 23 Oct 2012, 21:18 »

COULOMB people, it's time to electrify this current discussion! It has potential, but it's only been running FARADAY or two, and it's really degenerating, as the last couple of postings AMPly demonstrate. WATT we want is a JOULE of reVOLTing puns, or we might as well talk about something else OERSTED!

Wire you doing this to us?
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

TheEvilDog

  • Guest
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #30 on: 23 Oct 2012, 21:45 »

What it Boyles down to is Akima was making a scientific pun. Unfortunately, the chymistry was sorely lacking.
Logged

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,493
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #31 on: 23 Oct 2012, 21:52 »

And now for something completely different







The Philosophers Drinking Song
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

Akima

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,523
  • ** 妇女能顶半边天 **
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #32 on: 23 Oct 2012, 22:11 »

I don't think you broke the rules of utility with that posting, but you definitely Bentham.
Logged
"I would rather have questions that can't be answered, than answers that can't be questioned." Richard Feynman

The Seldom Killer

  • Only pretending to work
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,211
  • More witless shite ----->
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #33 on: 24 Oct 2012, 01:16 »

Oh Akima, with your electricity puns you really have been this thread's transformer. Clearly the rest of us are going to have to work hard to keep you at bay. Nat that I would want to stop the joy that you are bringing us but I'm disappointed that looking at the pun rankings I am number four.
Logged

pwhodges

  • Admin emeritus
  • Awakened
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,241
  • I'll only say this once...
    • My home page
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #34 on: 24 Oct 2012, 02:51 »

Some of the puns here are quite a stretch.  In the same vein, I offer you not my own but a selection from the emails in my in-box at work this morning:

Quote
[Context:] Ahh - the cycle light debate - as soon as this comes along I know winter's upon us.  An old faithful like mince pies and Christmas trees. 

Yes, it goes in cycles.

Indeed, someone peddles this every year.

Thought it rang a bell.. We need a brake from being saddled with the same old tyred conversations.

And as I seemed to start this topic is it wheely interesting and go round and round every so often?

How much longer are we going to be saddled with these bad puns?

We could always notch it up a gear before we pedal off into the sunset.

Can't help but feel this conversation has been derail(leur)ed.

That's getting right to the hub of the matter.....

Much more of this and people will start getting crank-y

We're certainly being led off-topic...

I think we need to pump some more humour into this thread

Why?  Do you think it is going flat?  I agree, we don't get puns of the same calliper as we used to, perhaps some of us are starting to tyre and need a brake?

I'm surprised no-one has been asked to go fork themselves, yet...

For goodness' sake, put a spoke in it. This cycle of bad puns is making me tyred.
« Last Edit: 24 Oct 2012, 03:29 by pwhodges »
Logged
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

TheFuriousWombat

  • GET ON THE NIGHT TRAIN
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 2,513
    • WXBC Bard College Radio Online
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #35 on: 24 Oct 2012, 06:53 »

I recently found myself needing to produce a series of medieval puns. Here is what I came up with in a couple of minutes:

Q: What do people who pledge loyalty to a feudal lord in return for protection use as lubricant?
A: Vassal-ine

Q: What did the indifferent king say to the castle builder's argument?
A: It was a moat point

Q: What was the Knights'-errant favorite movie?
A: A Liege of Their Own

Q: What argument did the castellan use to claim all the mutton chops as his own?
A: He said they were his ramparts

This is what happens when you graduate with degrees in history and literature and then cannot find a remotely relevant job.
Logged
I punched all the girls in the face on the way to the booth to vote for Hitler.

Hollow Press (my blog)

TheEvilDog

  • Guest
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #36 on: 24 Oct 2012, 07:05 »

Some of the puns here are quite a stretch.

Hey, mine wasn't stretched, just obscure  :-P
Logged

Rockman

  • Emoticontraindication
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 68
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #37 on: 24 Oct 2012, 10:24 »

One night in college a bunch of us were up late studying in the mineralogy lab (about 3 a.m.) and we decided to try and come up with geology pickup lines.  This is what my research partner came up with:

"You must be a clay particle because you sure are fine."
Logged
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
~ Terry Pratchett

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #38 on: 24 Oct 2012, 11:07 »

"You must be galena because you have perfect cleavage."

Akima's electrical punning really hertz.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,493
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #39 on: 24 Oct 2012, 21:34 »

I Gauss that this will continue
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

Skewbrow

  • Duck attack survivor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,960
  • damn it
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #40 on: 25 Oct 2012, 00:52 »

Don't know if any of us can beat Akima. I think she'll emerge the vector.

Well, she has more angles than a trigonometry book.

Since the mortgage I cosined with my wife has been fully paid a long time ago, I guess I can afford to give a bad math puns thread a secant chance.
Logged
QC  - entertaining you with regular shots in the butt since 2003.

Rockman

  • Emoticontraindication
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 68
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #41 on: 25 Oct 2012, 05:05 »

Lately emo's struck me as a very Holocene.
Logged
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
~ Terry Pratchett

PthariensFlame

  • Larger than most fish
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 121
  • I ♥ van Laarhoven lenticuloid families!
    • Chirex Formens/Chirex Ialtens
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #42 on: 25 Oct 2012, 08:29 »

I accidentally bleached a load of clothes the other day, so now I have to wear Paleogenes.
Logged
Quote from: Anne McCaffrey
Honor those the dragons heed
In thought and favor, word and deed.
Worlds are lost or worlds are saved
From those dangers dragon-braved.

PthariensFlame

  • Larger than most fish
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 121
  • I ♥ van Laarhoven lenticuloid families!
    • Chirex Formens/Chirex Ialtens
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #43 on: 25 Oct 2012, 09:02 »

When the Group of heroes busted open the wizards' spy Ring, they had a Field day playing with the wizardly portals left behind.  One of them got very Monoid when he was bombarded with a whole Dimension full of male enhancement ads:  a Grothendieck universe.  Another stumbled upon a stash of expensive goods, and decided to wear the dress with Manifolds in it that the found.  One even found a bunch of felines performing a violent play:  a Multicategory show.  The leader claimed that he was braver than any of the spies had been, and that he had Monads than them too.  The heroes went Turing across he countryside.  Everywhere they went, people played music from the 1970's, making it a Functor.
Logged
Quote from: Anne McCaffrey
Honor those the dragons heed
In thought and favor, word and deed.
Worlds are lost or worlds are saved
From those dangers dragon-braved.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #44 on: 25 Oct 2012, 20:35 »

Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?

After the experiments, his dogs joined the Salivation Army.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Asterus

  • FIGHT YOU
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 407
  • I'm not crazy, I'm just a little Unwell :P
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #45 on: 25 Oct 2012, 20:44 »

So to sum it up, we have a thread devoted to wordplay, yet no poets have shown up Riemann. Clearly we must integrate it into the conversation.

On a side note, it seems odd to have so many subjects transposed among each other, though to be fair staying on topic isn't really my forte.
Logged
From time to time you must concede, the need to sit down and have a good read:
http://hypocriticalparadox.blogspot.com/
http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjonUt21G0HBaFsHPupFwxw
Those with Vas Deferens should show vast deference to those without.

jwhouk

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,022
  • The Valley of the Sun
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #46 on: 25 Oct 2012, 20:45 »

Dewey Decimal System? Dewey EVER!
Logged
"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
Just another Joe like 46

Kugai

  • CIA Handler of Miss Melody Powers
  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 11,493
  • Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
    • My Homepage
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #47 on: 25 Oct 2012, 21:46 »

You don't have to be a Barbarian about it.

Nobody's Conan anyone
Logged
James The Kugai 

You can never have too much Coffee.

Is it cold in here?

  • Administrator
  • Awakened
  • ******
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 25,163
  • He/him/his pronouns
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #48 on: 26 Oct 2012, 00:57 »

I hope people give the music puns a rest before I throw them off a clef.
Logged
Thank you, Dr. Karikó.

Zingoleb

  • Guest
Re: The wordplay thread
« Reply #49 on: 26 Oct 2012, 01:11 »

Music puns are bound to lead us to treble. Maybe minor, maybe major, but definitely treble. I wonder if the staff - er, the mods might step in if we start to do away with this nonsense altogether.
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Up