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Author Topic: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread  (Read 5375 times)

Is it cold in here?

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Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« on: 06 Nov 2012, 20:17 »

When Spiro Agnew addresses a golf ball, it's "To whom it may concern".
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Zingoleb

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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #1 on: 06 Nov 2012, 21:26 »

Spiro T. Agnew is the most Harry Potter fucking name I've ever heard outside of Harry Potter.
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #2 on: 06 Nov 2012, 22:02 »

All I can think of when I hear Spiro Agnew's name is a cartoon from the beginning of the end, showing Agnew as a used condom being discarded... I think it was a cover of Rolling Stone, or Village Voice, or... I forget.  Can't find it online, either. 
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When people try to speak a gut reaction, they end up talking out their ass.

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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #3 on: 07 Nov 2012, 11:06 »

"Spiro Agnew" is an anagram of "Grow a penis".
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Piglet wondered how it was that every conversation with Eeyore seemed to go wrong.

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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #4 on: 07 Nov 2012, 11:41 »

A man in Warsaw opened a bank account and asked the bank manager whether his money would be safe. The joke sets up a pattern of the man asking about something going wrong, then the manager telling him about another level of guarantee, up to the government of the Soviet Union.

Then the man asks whether his money would be safe if the Soviet Union collapsed. The manager hems and haws, finally admits the man would lose all his money, then leans forward and whispers "But wouldn't it be worth it?".
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Gridgm

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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #5 on: 07 Nov 2012, 13:07 »

dude ...spiderland
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and my ears are wearing head phones
they do play my favorite songs
not music i'm told to like
but the songs that make me dance along

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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #6 on: 07 Nov 2012, 22:48 »

This was even before my time:

If the town's newspaper burns down, how will anyone know?

EDIT:
"My brother ran a hundred yards in ten seconds!"
"Wow, did he break a record?"
"Yes, that's why he was running!"

EDIT:
Did you hear about the guy who got an answering machine for his car phone? The greeting said "Sorry, I'm home right now, please leave a message and I'll call you as soon as I'm out".

EDIT:
Q. What do you put on the wheels of a DeLorean?
A. Snow tires.
« Last Edit: 29 Dec 2012, 19:03 by Is it cold in here? »
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #7 on: 23 Dec 2021, 15:56 »

Well, I did remember another one.

What did Marilyn Quayle say on her wedding night?

"Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy!"
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #8 on: 30 Dec 2021, 18:12 »

The kid asked the elevator operator "Why do you keep calling me 'Sonny'?".

The elevator operator replied "I brought you up, didn't I?".
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #9 on: 03 Jan 2022, 10:19 »

Anything by Yakov Smirnoff.  I was going to nominate Edwin Neumann as well, but he's still relevant, though dead.
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #10 on: 19 Jan 2022, 20:30 »

"So, I hear the IRS is founding a town between Andover and Benton. Care to guess what they're calling it?"
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #11 on: 28 Jan 2022, 07:54 »

I like this thread. It makes me feel very young ! :-D
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Carpe Diem

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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #12 on: 04 Feb 2022, 08:20 »

What is Ted Kennedy's campaign song?

"How Deep is Your Love".
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #13 on: 05 Feb 2022, 18:57 »

What's the difference between Communism and Capitalism?

Under Capitalism Man oppresses Man, under Communism it's the opposite.
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #14 on: 06 Feb 2022, 14:58 »

This one isn't really obsolete though, is it? The CCP is still alive and well, it is plain to Xi.
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #15 on: 06 Feb 2022, 19:44 »

Xi who must be obeyed.
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #16 on: 10 Feb 2022, 16:14 »

Not sure if that is an image I wanted in my head...
(click to show/hide)
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #17 on: 14 Feb 2022, 13:18 »

I don't want kids to watch the modern orchestral music on TV. Too much sax and violins.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #18 on: 17 Feb 2022, 19:24 »

Circling back to Spiro Agnew, I learned of him from Futurama, and didn't learn until years later that he really was Nixon's VP (because let's be honest, public schools don't teach Vice Presidents outside of Andrew Johnson, Harry Truman, and Lyndon Johnson, or at least they didn't when I was in school).  So therefore, despite be being an elder millennial, I am still young :P
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #19 on: 18 Feb 2022, 11:07 »

I'm watching reruns of Laugh-In right now, and getting to the end of the second season.  In between the George Wallace jokes (a perfectly good old peoples joke all by itself) are an occasional Spiro Agnew joke, usually some riff on his name. 

Of course, Laugh-In was very much a product of its time and deliberately referenced many items from the then-current news.  Jokes about Viet Nam, living in the US while Black, Native America, or Female, alternate sexualities, and the sexual revolution itself are all staples on the show, so one has to watch with some care and keep the larger context in mind before reaching for things to throw at the screen.
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #20 on: 18 Feb 2022, 12:43 »

I remember some ethnic humor that isn't acceptable to most people today.
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #21 on: 19 Feb 2022, 08:40 »

My high school went through a phase of polish jokes; I'm still puzzled about the genesis of that.  It may have been the new pope or it may have been the guy with the polish family name that moved into the district or ...  I never did pin it all down.  That was followed by a period of "Little Willey" jokes/limericks that ran the hallways with the students.  And then I graduated, leaving that level of humor behind only to fall into a group that distinguished itself by creating impossibly extended bad puns every change we got.  Grant/Tim/Lynn, if you're reading, Time repeats itself.  PM me here the proper response.

Laugh-In has aged surprisingly well, considering what passed as humor during that period.  Some of that is more a statement about us USnians still being moh-rons about certain topics than it is a statement about the "poorer" (less progressive?) values of that earlier period when the Laugh-In writers were in business.  Alas.  Much of the physical comedy remains funny, even if the "sock it too me" segments got old in a hurry, and not just for the performers.  I also don't get the person trying to ride the blue motorcycle with what appears to be a sendup of a batman outfit (sans cape but add wings, it's confusing).  Oh well; you can find sections of various shows on youtube if you want to review personally.
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #22 on: 19 Feb 2022, 14:38 »

Verrrrry Innnteresting... but SHTUPID!
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #23 on: 19 Feb 2022, 16:58 »

Weird thing is, "You Bet Your Life" was older, but what I remember of the humor has aged well. We showed an episode to a twenty-something who exclaimed (not verbatim) "Why is this better than anything that's on today?".
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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #24 on: 20 Feb 2022, 03:59 »

Circling back to Spiro Agnew,
Spiralling back, surely? :P But I should beware of becoming one of the "nattering nabobs of negativism".

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Re: Obsolete jokes: the old people's thread
« Reply #25 on: 20 Feb 2022, 06:52 »

In that case, would one use a Spirograph?
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