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Author Topic: Blog Thread 4; Live Free or Blog Hard - 'cos we all like blogging  (Read 236469 times)

Papersatan

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I was under the impression this was a discussion about what I needed from them to get credit to make sure this was a good fit (what do I need to get credit, how many hours is it consent for a background check etc) before the application was sent to the actual department for an interview.  I figured the standard questions would come at the department interview.

I think I actually interview well.  I am not an un-confident person.  I have good stong body language, I am articulate and I am well qualified for this internship.  It is how I look that hold me back generally. 

Looking the part is easier said than done, and it actually the most difficult part of this for me.  I think I have discussed elsewhere on the forum my struggles to look professional with my hair pink and my body fat.  I ordered a nice suit, but the jacket won't button without making me look like a porn star.  Actually, none of my jackets will button right now, so I am left with the question, wear an unbuttoned jacket, or forgo one all together.  If not a suit or blazer then what?   

I am going to have to go shopping and find either a new blazer or a button down shirt.  Those are both difficult to find for me, and frequently expensive.  I think if I can find a good blazer I can wear it with a dress I have and be ok. 

ARRRGGGHHH  Stop growing boobs. 
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[12:07] ackblom12: hi again honey
[12:08] ackblom12: I'm tired of lookin at that ugly little face

Lines

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Kat, you just bought some new dresses right? Find a good cardigan (if you blazer doesn't look right with any of them) and do your hair in the side bun you posted before and I think you'll look professional.
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Papersatan

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ARRRGGGHHH  Stop growing boobs.

As an English major I want to call myself out a moment, and to clarify: my boobs are growing, I am not growing extra boobs.  Sometimes that comma matters.   :psyduck:

Yeah, I was going to go with one of the dresses.  I think a blazer would look better than a cardigan for an interview, but I am not sure I can find one that fits.  (My bust is up to 57 inches)  My cardigan is my fall back plan. 
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[12:07] ackblom12: hi again honey
[12:08] ackblom12: I'm tired of lookin at that ugly little face

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My boobs aren't growing yet. Five days on estrogen, why aren't they done growing yet!? Pfft.
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jwhouk

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The me of 20 years ago would probably be scared to death of the me of today.

Of course, the me of 20 years ago would probably ask, "How in the heck did you end up in the middle of Northern WISCONSIN?"
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Do you have an answer...?
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"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

jwhouk

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I'd say, "You really don't want to know."
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lepetitfromage

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Hope you people are well, I really wish you weren't posting quite so damn much all the time, because I have no chance to keep up with everything anymore. :P

I am SO glad I'm not the only one that feels this way!! I usually take the weekends off and then catch up on Mondays and this week it is just not happening that way. Of course, everything being down when I decided to check and then springing back up again while I was away doesn't help. *Shakes fist at whoever was responsible*


Kat- I think a cardigan with a dress would look lovely :-) You don't need to be suited up to look professional- personally, I prefer a nice dress to a suit anyway. Or slacks with a nice blouse and a cardigan. Blazers are over rated.



In bloggy news- I have done SO MUCH wedding stuff lately!! I suppose that is a good thing, since the clock is quickly ticking away. I ordered most of the gifts to go in my bridesmaids' baskets (waiting to receive the robes in the mail now), received everything for our invitations in the mail yesterday (they will be going out tomorrow if all goes as planned), ordered my fancy corset, ordered our favors, bought 80% of the things needed for centerpieces, planned our (free! WOOT!) engagement shoot, almost finished making our paper flowers (120 and counting), bought everything I need for my veil........and more.

Still to do: Glue big ass flower to veil clip; buy garter(s?) and attach Animal charm; set up hair appointments; decide on my shoes; buy tin pails, styrofoam balls and dum dums for centerpieces; tell Nick that I broke down and bought 6 balloons that are 3 foot in diameter because I am weak and they are fancy; book rehearsal dinner; find and buy rehearsal dinner dress; put together bridesmaids' gifts; etch steins for groomsmen; type up cutesy thing to put in favor frames telling people to go to the photobooth; finish making photobooth props; stick labels on place cards; send our DJ a list of songs; send officiant updated ceremony plan; finish vows; type up itinerary......and I'm sure I am forgetting a few things. EEK. At least I still have 8 weeks!
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Patrick

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So last night Esther and I had made plans to hang out, and for the 5th time this week (I couldn't help but keep count, I'm a musician), she ditched me.

All I did was tell her that it hurt my feelings that she'd make plans with me and then drop them at a moment's notice, and she immediately came back at me with claws, accusing me of being manipulative and selfish, not caring what her feelings are, shit like that.

2 hours later I get a text from her, sent to the wrong person, saying "I'm at the tower, where are you?"

The last time something like this happened, I was getting cheated on. And that being the case, I can't bring myself to quiet my subconscious. It's going to convince me, whether it's true or not, that she's cheating on me, that I can't trust her, that I will only wind up disappointed. I can't keep dating her. I'm breaking up with her the next time I see her.
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Carl-E

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Before reading the last sentence, I was thinking, "trust your subconscious". 

Glad you're going to. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

How much more does cheating get caught nowadays thanks to misdirected texts? 
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Patrick

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and meanwhile I think I'm going to lose my job and man nothing is gonna fucking go right in my life ever is it, I can stay happy 95% of the time but days like today are pretty hard to deal with

thank god I have bandmates who are better than brothers, i'm gonna go hang with one now

fuck today man, just fuck today
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ARRRGGGHHH  Stop growing boobs.

As an English major I want to call myself out a moment, and to clarify: my boobs are growing, I am not growing extra boobs.  Sometimes that comma matters.   :psyduck:

I can sympathize with you on boobs that won't stop growing. I've gone up 3-ish cup sizes in the past few years. I just want them to stop growing!
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Carl-E

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Maybe you shouldn't rub them with fertilizer...

 :-D :roll:
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Black Sword

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I am so goddamned exhausted. I don't want to get up in the mornings to go to work, the very act of coming here fills me with anger, and just having to deal with this bullshit infuriates me more every damned day. by the time I get home, I'm so emotionally drained I don't want to finish my novel (just two bloody chapters to go, and it's been that way for a month) and I don't even have the energy to turn my resume into the self-aggrandizing bullshit US companies feed on.

It's six weeks after my review, so I had a "follow up" first thing this morning. Just the thing to set the mood! I had to self-flagellate myself and write a performance plan to show how I intended to meet the "objectives" they had set for me six weeks ago, when they dangled the promotion and raise I was due after all the hard work I've put in. Slightly out of chronological order, but on Tuesday I got sent an email criticizing my calm approach to a meeting as "disengaged and toxic," so you can imagine I was not and remain very unhappy. The performance plan was the first time I've absolutely hated something I've written. It still feels like poison seeping into my fingers, because so much of it is just distortions and me doing my best to avoid the fake enthusiasm they want me to show for every stupid idea they come up with. I cannot fake enthusiasm. Fake enthusiasm is not in my job requirements and worse, makes it harder for me to tell when I'm done with work and when I'm finally able to be myself and be at rest.

Performance plan was received well, which just made me even more cynical, but the clincher (expected for weeks) was that I did not get my due. Instead, it's something that they'll keep on considering, so I'm on probation because I'm not faking enthusiasm for what is a tedious, miserable affair. Oh, and they're going to give me even MORE work to do that's far above my pay grade and title.

I'm stuck here while one of my best friends spouts the miserable shit I have to deal with on a daily basis as things I have to do to get a new job. The words feel toxic, not because of intent, but because being able to see through all those veneers and see what the real deal is awful.

Carl-E

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Finish that novel, then starrt a new one based on what you're telling us here. 


So many people will identify with it that it'll be an instant best-seller, and you can quit your job. 



Sorry, was it that obvious? 
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Asterus

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I spent about two hours wandering campus with 6 other people randomly writing basically "for the lulz". It was one of the most bracing things I've done in a while, and the resulting poem was one of the most natural works I've written in a long time ^.^
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Jace

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Something I had to ask myself today: Did I crack my hip a few weeks ago?
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Rizzla: Man... I'm only interested in girls who've had penises.
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Carl-E

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Meanwhile, my younger daughter seems to be going into an exacerbation - her legs have quit working entirely, she's completely wheelchair bound.  She's also leaking a bit through the night.  I'm worried about her breathing. 

The next appointment with the neurologist is on the 26th. 

Of April. 

Gonna try and move that one up.

So after calling every day this week, my wife finally got a call back from the neurologist.  She wants to see our daughter right away...

So we're now sitting in the Emergency room at Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh.  Again.  Because that's the quickest way in.  Just waiting for x-rays and MRI's.  Then they'll probably admit her. 

Thing is, this is all old hat now, and we're all relaxed and able to joke around with the staff.  it's like old home week. 

The couches in the waiting areas aren't any more comfortable than they used to be, though. 
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jwhouk

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(Shrug) Maybe Iggy will come visit you guys.
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Patrick

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Broke up with her. I give up. When I told my bandmates what was happening, the one said "Go with your gut, man," and the other agreed with me and said "Yeah, you should definitely break up." So I ended it.

She refused to see me or talk on the phone, so I had to do it via text. God. That feels so dirty. I never wanted that. I wanted to do it like a man, like a person of dignity, but I was left no choice. She robbed me of that and I almost feel like I'm less of a man for it. But I know I didn't have a choice and I know I did what I had to, even though it was hard.

Sad thing is, I'm already over her.
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Well, you're either in denial or you're proving you made the right choice. Both options are good.
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Jimor

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Well drat, Patrick, but yeah, you deserve better, and I'm sure it will happen eventually. Also sorry you weren't able to make it to Autumn's show at Bottom of the Hill, but I understand how hard it is to get to shows without your own transport. Smallish crowd, but she really impressed the venue staff with her performance, so here's hoping she gets other City gigs soon. If you want me to spread word around here of the places you've been working with, just let me know, let's try to hook something up!

In personal news, the local weekly newspaper has an article about my TV show, so word is spreading and we're getting some very nice attention as we start to gear up for shooting season 2!
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She refused to see me or talk on the phone, so I had to do it via text. God. That feels so dirty. I never wanted that. I wanted to do it like a man, like a person of dignity, but I was left no choice. She robbed me of that and I almost feel like I'm less of a man for it.

She forced your hand, don't beat yourself up over it.

Besides, at least you didn't pull a Phil Collins and ask for a divorce via fax. :emotrex:
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lepetitfromage

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.....or Post-It note.


in all seriousness though, i will add that from what i've gathered from your posts, i'd say you made the right decision. it sucks that it had to end that way but i consider you the bigger person because you actually told her flat out that it wasn't working. she probably knew something along those lines but took the cowardly way out.
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Patrick

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Thanks. That's pretty much how I feel about it anyway, it's just not really very glorious. I don't like breakups as it is (who does) but it's not really necessary to make it harder than it has to be. Oh well. I had nothing to do today anyway.
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Thrillho

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.....or Post-It note.

[/Carrie Bradshaw]
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lepetitfromage

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yeahhhhh, i just couldn't help myself.....


That definitely has to be one of the worst ways to break up with someone. Although a scene from HIMYM comes to mind when Ted breaks up with that girl on her answering machine. While her friends are in her apartment. Waiting to throw her a surprise birthday party.
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BeoPuppy


My aunt died today at 17.15. Several members of my family are now at war because he said, she said shit and bull that happened 20 fucking years ago. All of that while the body wasn't even cool, yet. Which is completely messed up. Spiteful e-mails and vicious phone rants are involved. I'm going to assume that people do weird things from grief. The alternative is that my family is comprised of idiots. Not ruling that out, though.
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pwhodges

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Our condolences to you.  I hope that you have some happy memories, so that you can be properly sad that she's gone.

I'm going to assume that people do weird things from grief.
This is not untypical.
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The alternative is that my family is comprised of idiots.
Sadly, this is common, too.  Just don't be one yourself, and you'll get through it fine in the end.
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"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

BeoPuppy


Thank you.
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I'm going to assume that people do weird things from grief.

Yep.
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Welu

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A woman kissed me on the cheek in work today.
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Did you deserve it?
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Zingoleb

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I'm not sure if this is what you were referencing but it's what I pictured

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I've wondered for years what "Dook, me matey" means. The photo explains it, right?
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Zingoleb

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Yes. Captain Jack Sparrow on the left there is making his famous 'dookadookadookadook' noise, which all of the ladies found irresistible.
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Carl-E

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So, they found the source of my daughter's headaches.  Did a spinal tap (they needed to test the spinal fluid for antibodies anyway), and found her fluid pressure's about twice normal level. 

It's called intercranial hypertension. 

She's sleeping well for the first time in several weeks. 

Now, if only they can do something about losing all control of her lower legs...
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Barmymoo

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I'm glad they figured it out! Do they know what causes it?
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nekowafer

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Yes. Captain Jack Sparrow on the left there is making his famous 'dookadookadookadook' noise, which all of the ladies found irresistible.

I may need to name my next ferret Jack.
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what she said was sad, but then, all the rejections she's had, to pretend to be happy could only be idiocy

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So, they found the source of my daughter's headaches.  Did a spinal tap (they needed to test the spinal fluid for antibodies anyway), and found her fluid pressure's about twice normal level. 

It's called intercranial hypertension. 

She's sleeping well for the first time in several weeks. 

Now, if only they can do something about losing all control of her lower legs...

Yowza, glad they figured that out but spinal taps can be scary. I had one when I was a teen with spinal meningitis. Hopefully this will lead to answers about her legs.
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Welu

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Hopefully something can be done, Carl.

~ ~

I think the lady was a bit boozed up and over friendly. She reached for my hand so I assumed it was a handshake, which customers have done before, but she kind of grabbed my wrist and pulled me over.
I just laughed at it but it weirded me out a bit because bleh, physical contact, bleh.
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nekowafer

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bleh, physical contact, bleh.

I totally agree. Ew.

And Carl, yay for a diagnosis of sorts. I hope it gets better from here on out!
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Papersatan

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I know that since it was a lady kissing a lady people will down play it as innocent, but grabbing someone and kissing them against their will, particularly when they are in a service role and obligated not to stand up to you, is disgusting, and is assault.  I'm sorry that it happened to you.

Unrelated, I can't find an angle to hold my head which makes my professor's face clear.   I need new glasses. 
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[12:07] ackblom12: hi again honey
[12:08] ackblom12: I'm tired of lookin at that ugly little face

mtmerrick

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Glad to see in not the only one with terrible eyesight. :P
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Welu

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I know that since it was a lady kissing a lady people will down play it as innocent, but grabbing someone and kissing them against their will, particularly when they are in a service role and obligated not to stand up to you, is disgusting, and is assault.  I'm sorry that it happened to you.

Thanks for saying this. I feel this way about it as well but like you said, people play it down as innocent and I was made to feel I was being over-dramatic. All I can do is be wary if she comes into the shop again but fortunately I don't think I'll need to worry since I'd never seen them before.

Related to glasses: I'm thinking of getting a second pair and I might go for a rimless pair.
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mtmerrick

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If you're at all hard on your glasses (like I am) go rimless. Glasses held together by screws fall apart really easily.
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Welu

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I went through so many screws glasses because I could get them for free while I was in school and my eyes deteriorated really quickly. I think I had to change glasses eight times since I was eleven before my eyes settled. So yeah, it wasn't worth splashing out for a nice pair till a couple years ago. I want rimless more to wear for costuming since contacts are expensive and I don't like wearing them. They're not uncomfortable, I'm just too used to my glasses.
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Carl-E

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Eyesight's a common topic in here, and I think I "won" the last round... I'm only correctable to about 20/45 or so, with 12 diopter lenses (well, OK, it's only 11.75 in one eye...). 

~~~~~~~

There are lots of causes for the spinal fluid thing - it's one of those mysterious systems of the body, there's actually very little understanding of where it comes from or where it goes.  They had done an eye test on her looking for it when we first came to the hospital, it's one place that it shows externally, but it wasn't showing there.  However, she was having some blurred vision around the edges and a runny nose - apparently the excess fluid has been leaking out around her eyes and into her sinuses. 

I'm hoping it's related to the autoimmune problems she's been having.  I'm also hoping they actually can figure out some kind of treatment that won't kill her...
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Thrillho

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I thought that once your body made its spinal fluid it was gone forever if they took it out?
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Nah. It's just water with proteins in it, probably not all that different from blood plasma. It's produced by the choroid plexus in the ventricles of the brain. The choroid plexus has a similar function for CSF as the liver has for blood: filtration, transport, etcetera.

I must admit that I learned half of this from anatomy classes and the other half from Wikipedia, so it's probably not as poorly understood as you think.
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