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Author Topic: politically incorrect jokes  (Read 13665 times)

jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #50 on: 29 Jan 2013, 19:55 »

Barack Obama is secretly still smarting that Jim Harbaugh didn't sign his program for him at Bears training camp that one time.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #51 on: 29 Jan 2013, 20:10 »

Mitt Romney's hair changes color when you press his belly button.
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Kugai

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #52 on: 29 Jan 2013, 20:27 »

Ronald McDonald is a Vegan
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #53 on: 29 Jan 2013, 20:40 »

you're not very good at this 'jokes' thing are you
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #54 on: 29 Jan 2013, 21:19 »

Calvin Coolidge invented gangsta rap.
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #55 on: 29 Jan 2013, 22:19 »

Huey Long is the third cousin twice removed of rock star Huey Lewis.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #56 on: 29 Jan 2013, 23:17 »

If you touch a blue carbuncle to Harry Reid's lips he becomes the only person on earth able to pronounce "Eyjafjallaj÷kull".
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #57 on: 30 Jan 2013, 04:52 »

Hillary Clinton was once offered a contract to play for the Chicago Cubs. She wisely turned it down, because she didn't want to hit behind Leon Durham.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #58 on: 30 Jan 2013, 06:13 »

Martin van Buren was never actually elected President. The 1836 election came out an exact tie, and van Buren overwhelmed William Henry Harrison in a Greco-Roman Steel Cage tie-breaker to win the Heavyweight Title, and the White House.
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henri bemis

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #59 on: 04 Feb 2013, 17:05 »

James K Polk invented ultimate frisbee.
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #60 on: 04 Feb 2013, 18:27 »

Sarah Palin killed 'er a b'ar, when she was only three.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #61 on: 04 Feb 2013, 22:53 »

Al Gore had been sick of Kim Jong-Il's shit for a long time, and finally snapped, swimming to North Korea from Guam, battling his way unarmed to the Chairman's Palace, and killed Jong-Il with his bare hands. The state media portrayed it as a "natural death", but no one can refute Jong-Il's head mounted above the fireplace at Al Gore's house, right between Muammar Gaddafi and Richard Nixon.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #62 on: 04 Feb 2013, 23:18 »

Cleopatra was the original creator of "Dilbert".
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #63 on: 05 Feb 2013, 06:57 »

James K. Polk never really existed. He was made up completely by the Democratic Party. His speeches were ghostread by others "portraying" him, and in fact for the entire four years "he" was in office, the White House essentially sat empty.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #64 on: 05 Feb 2013, 07:13 »

James K. Polk was actually a pig with a tophat
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #65 on: 05 Feb 2013, 08:26 »

Arnold Schwarzenegger was actually just a stunt double, and the actual acting was done by Marcus Aurelius.

Grover Cleveland was not the only US President named after a city. Others included Seymour Ketchikan and Percival Keokuk.
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henri bemis

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #66 on: 07 Feb 2013, 08:17 »

James K. Polk is almost Weird Al's favorite president.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #67 on: 07 Feb 2013, 08:50 »

Abraham Lincoln was a professional wrestler, known in the ring as "The Kentucky Killer".
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #68 on: 07 Feb 2013, 08:51 »

If you touch a blue carbuncle to Harry Reid's lips he becomes the only person on earth able to pronounce "Eyjafjallaj÷kull".

The eruption of Eyjafjallaj÷kull was actually set off by the Icelandic government on purpose - the plan was to use make fun of how foreigners pronounced the volcano's name to inspire a national sense of superiority. It's the most successful government in modern history.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #69 on: 07 Feb 2013, 16:24 »

Allen West collects tokens.

(Recycled from an old Laugh-In joke).
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #70 on: 07 Feb 2013, 17:39 »

Spiro T. Agnew rose from the dead to run for president under the slightly less ludicrous appellation of "Vermin Supreme."
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #71 on: 07 Feb 2013, 18:02 »

Wasn't "Vermin Supreme" part of the Cobra Commandos? Or was that Dan Quayle?
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #72 on: 07 Feb 2013, 19:04 »

Mitt Romney also goes skeet shooting but unlike Barack Obama he donates the meat to the homeless.
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Carl-E

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #73 on: 07 Feb 2013, 19:15 »

Damn skeets...
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #74 on: 08 Feb 2013, 14:08 »

Theodore Roosevelt's true passion in life was needlepoint.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #75 on: 08 Feb 2013, 14:16 »

Chris Christie and Andrea Bocelli are actually fraternal twins, separated at birth.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #76 on: 08 Feb 2013, 17:31 »

Boehner looks so unhappy all the time because he is holding back farts.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #77 on: 08 Feb 2013, 20:35 »

Abraham Lincoln wasn't a vampire hunter.

Dolley Madison, however, was. She had the White House staff take all the silver from the White House so the advancing British horde of vampires wouldn't try to melt it.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
There is no joke that can be made online without someone being offended by it.
Life's too short to be ashamed of how you were born.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #78 on: 08 Feb 2013, 20:48 »

Al Gore eats the hearts of the enemies he has slain to gain their strength.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #79 on: 09 Feb 2013, 03:14 »

She had the White House staff take all the silver from the White House so the advancing British horde of vampires wouldn't try to melt it.

This guy actually did that, only it was Nazis and gold.

<mod>Fixed Link code</mod>
« Last Edit: 09 Feb 2013, 15:00 by pwhodges »
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Piglet wondered how it was that every conversation with Eeyore seemed to go wrong.

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #80 on: 09 Feb 2013, 14:24 »

Sarah Palin picks her nose and eats it.

EDIT: After washing the dishes at a soup kitchen Paul Ryan goes and flosses the teeth of the less fortunate.

EDIT: Al Gore won the Adult Video Industry Association award for Best Performance in an steamy scene between him and a Higgs Boson.
« Last Edit: 23 Feb 2013, 15:30 by Is it cold in here? »
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