Topic: politically incorrect jokes (Read 18401 times)

jwhouk · « **Reply #50 on:** 29 Jan 2013, 19:55 »

Barack Obama is secretly still smarting that Jim Harbaugh didn't sign his program for him at Bears training camp that one time.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #51 on:** 29 Jan 2013, 20:10 »

Mitt Romney's hair changes color when you press his belly button.

Kugai · « **Reply #52 on:** 29 Jan 2013, 20:27 »

Ronald McDonald is a Vegan

Zingoleb · « **Reply #53 on:** 29 Jan 2013, 20:40 »

you're not very good at this 'jokes' thing are you

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #54 on:** 29 Jan 2013, 21:19 »

Calvin Coolidge invented gangsta rap.

jwhouk · « **Reply #55 on:** 29 Jan 2013, 22:19 »

Huey Long is the third cousin twice removed of rock star Huey Lewis.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #56 on:** 29 Jan 2013, 23:17 »

If you touch a blue carbuncle to Harry Reid's lips he becomes the only person on earth able to pronounce "Eyjafjallajökull".

jwhouk · « **Reply #57 on:** 30 Jan 2013, 04:52 »

Hillary Clinton was once offered a contract to play for the Chicago Cubs. She wisely turned it down, because she didn't want to hit behind Leon Durham.

Bluesummers · « **Reply #58 on:** 30 Jan 2013, 06:13 »

Martin van Buren was never actually elected President. The 1836 election came out an exact tie, and van Buren overwhelmed William Henry Harrison in a Greco-Roman Steel Cage tie-breaker to win the Heavyweight Title, and the White House.

henri bemis · « **Reply #59 on:** 04 Feb 2013, 17:05 »

James K Polk invented ultimate frisbee.

jwhouk · « **Reply #60 on:** 04 Feb 2013, 18:27 »

Sarah Palin killed 'er a b'ar, when she was only three.

Bluesummers · « **Reply #61 on:** 04 Feb 2013, 22:53 »

Al Gore had been sick of Kim Jong-Il's shit for a long time, and finally snapped, swimming to North Korea from Guam, battling his way unarmed to the Chairman's Palace, and killed Jong-Il with his bare hands. The state media portrayed it as a "natural death", but no one can refute Jong-Il's head mounted above the fireplace at Al Gore's house, right between Muammar Gaddafi and Richard Nixon.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #62 on:** 04 Feb 2013, 23:18 »

Cleopatra was the original creator of "Dilbert".

jwhouk · « **Reply #63 on:** 05 Feb 2013, 06:57 »

James K. Polk never really existed. He was made up completely by the Democratic Party. His speeches were ghostread by others "portraying" him, and in fact for the entire four years "he" was in office, the White House essentially sat empty.

dr. nervioso · « **Reply #64 on:** 05 Feb 2013, 07:13 »

James K. Polk was actually a pig with a tophat

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #65 on:** 05 Feb 2013, 08:26 »

Arnold Schwarzenegger was actually just a stunt double, and the actual acting was done by Marcus Aurelius.

Grover Cleveland was not the only US President named after a city. Others included Seymour Ketchikan and Percival Keokuk.

henri bemis · « **Reply #66 on:** 07 Feb 2013, 08:17 »

James K. Polk is almost Weird Al's favorite president.

Bluesummers · « **Reply #67 on:** 07 Feb 2013, 08:50 »

Abraham Lincoln was a professional wrestler, known in the ring as "The Kentucky Killer".

snalin · « **Reply #68 on:** 07 Feb 2013, 08:51 »

Quote from: Is it cold in here? on 29 Jan 2013, 23:17

If you touch a blue carbuncle to Harry Reid's lips he becomes the only person on earth able to pronounce "Eyjafjallajökull".

The eruption of Eyjafjallajökull was actually set off by the Icelandic government on purpose - the plan was to use make fun of how foreigners pronounced the volcano's name to inspire a national sense of superiority. It's the most successful government in modern history.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #69 on:** 07 Feb 2013, 16:24 »

Allen West collects tokens.

(Recycled from an old Laugh-In joke).

Zingoleb · « **Reply #70 on:** 07 Feb 2013, 17:39 »

Spiro T. Agnew rose from the dead to run for president under the slightly less ludicrous appellation of "Vermin Supreme."

Bluesummers · « **Reply #71 on:** 07 Feb 2013, 18:02 »

Wasn't "Vermin Supreme" part of the Cobra Commandos? Or was that Dan Quayle?

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #72 on:** 07 Feb 2013, 19:04 »

Mitt Romney also goes skeet shooting but unlike Barack Obama he donates the meat to the homeless.

Carl-E · « **Reply #73 on:** 07 Feb 2013, 19:15 »

Damn skeets...

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #74 on:** 08 Feb 2013, 14:08 »

Theodore Roosevelt's true passion in life was needlepoint.

Bluesummers · « **Reply #75 on:** 08 Feb 2013, 14:16 »

Chris Christie and Andrea Bocelli are actually fraternal twins, separated at birth.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #76 on:** 08 Feb 2013, 17:31 »

Boehner looks so unhappy all the time because he is holding back farts.

jwhouk · « **Reply #77 on:** 08 Feb 2013, 20:35 »

Abraham Lincoln wasn't a vampire hunter.

Dolley Madison, however, was. She had the White House staff take all the silver from the White House so the advancing British horde of vampires wouldn't try to melt it.

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #78 on:** 08 Feb 2013, 20:48 »

Al Gore eats the hearts of the enemies he has slain to gain their strength.

Pilchard123 · « **Reply #79 on:** 09 Feb 2013, 03:14 »

Quote from: jwhouk on 08 Feb 2013, 20:35

She had the White House staff take all the silver from the White House so the advancing British horde of vampires wouldn't try to melt it.

This guy actually did that, only it was Nazis and gold.

<mod>Fixed Link code</mod>

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #80 on:** 09 Feb 2013, 14:24 »

Sarah Palin picks her nose and eats it.

EDIT: After washing the dishes at a soup kitchen Paul Ryan goes and flosses the teeth of the less fortunate.

EDIT: Al Gore won the Adult Video Industry Association award for Best Performance in an steamy scene between him and a Higgs Boson.

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Author Topic: politically incorrect jokes (Read 18401 times)

Zingoleb

Zingoleb