Who is "wrong" in this situation? Me, for 'being disrespectful' and 'rude' by doing other things already related to our conversation or you, for being so high and mighty that you demand 100% attention focused on you at all times because what you're saying is that world changingly important?
It makes you an ass. It does not make me rude.
Neither, objectively.
Subjectively, since that's the only way those terms can be applied, it's a matter of perspective. If it were me, I'd probably ask what you were doing if you abruptly started Googling something/looking for a book in the middle of a conversation and then, when you explained you were educating yourself about something I'd mentioned that you didn't understand, I'd probably wait until you were done searching to continue (as it would be silly to keep talking about something you've just admit to knowing nothing about until you've caught up with me).
On the flipside, if you said something I didn't get, I'd probably look to the most direct and pertinent method of clarification available in a conversation:
asking you what it means. If neither of us knows, I might look it up later, or suggest looking it up at the time, but putting the conversation on hold because I need to know what that word means
right now just seems sorta...odd. And
not putting the conversation on hold to go look up the thing right now is even weirder, since you're still thinking about the thing you're looking up even though you're probably not still talking about it by that point.
I doubt I'd think you're rude for doing it. Impatient, though, definitely, and rude if you then treat me like an ass for not wanting to keep talking to the back of your head while you Google something.
Basically you summed it up at the end of your question. It's not that every word someone says to you is "world changingly important." It's that, by making it clear you don't feel the conversation is particularly important, you're visibly attributing reduced importance (and thereby respect) to the interaction. So in that sense, yes, indicating you don't feel whatever's being said calls for your undivided attention is pretty rude. Even if it
isn't important, that doesn't mean you have to
show them you feel that way. Doing so is simply impolite.
Comparison that will no doubt be cast aside with a "that's not the same thing" but is none the less comparable: you're at home reading a book on the couch in your living room. A sibling/spouse/parent/whatever comes in the front door and says, "I'm home." You don't respond because, hey, you're right there on the couch beside the front door - obviously you already knew they were home before they said it. You didn't need to be directly informed of their arrival, and even if you hadn't noticed, it's not important information anyway. They're home now, that's all. No big deal.
...yeah, that's probably not going to have a positive impact on whoever just got home, given it suggests you don't care about them. That might not be
true, but it's the impression given by not responding with at least a simple, "Hi." Or "Welcome back." Or some other indication you recognize their presence as another person.
Warning - while you were typing 2 new replies have been posted. You may wish to be discouraged that one of them makes your point more concisely.asgalskenrmsfafs
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Topic: WCDT: 2485-2489 (8-12 July, 2013) (Read 57547 times)